If you want to be more mature, you must move in these directions.

From a psychological point of view, maturity means that individuals have enough control over themselves.

When we were young, we saw a beautiful toy. If you want to buy, you can only rely on your parents' wishes. Once our parents don't buy it, we will cry and make a scene.

When we grow up, we see a luxury car. If you want to buy, you can only rely on your own economic ability. Once we don't have enough money to buy it, we must control our desires and then strive for it.

The so-called "control" does not mean that you can get what you want, but that you can't get what you want, you can control what you don't want for the time being, you can better control yourself, how to get this and so on.

This is maturity.

Maturity and age cannot be equated. The maturity of many people will gradually form with the growth of age. However, some people, even at the age of 30, are still naive and shallow, just like children. Such people cannot be called mature.

There is no so-called standard for maturity, but it can only be more and more mature, and it will not be mature when it suddenly reaches a certain standard.

But in general, mature people have a * * * nature, that is, there is an extra self-regulation from thinking to getting, and the role of this self-regulation is that individuals control themselves. Including:

1: Do what?

2: Can you do it?

3: How?

When we were young, we wanted a toy and longed for it. As for how to do this, we don't care, it's an adult's business. If we can't get it, we will cry and be unhappy.

But a mature person, who wants to develop his career and is eager to start a business, has to consider what to do between the two; When you get along with others, you see that your friends are sad, want to care about each other, and are eager to get a happy result. You need to consider how to express it with high emotional intelligence in order to comfort each other better.

If you don't think about how to do everything, you just want to get this result, and once you can't get it for a long time, you will feel sorry for yourself and blame others; What's more, in order to "get" this and then commit various criminal acts, then I'm sorry, such people are not mature at all.

However, this "doing" is related to our knowledge, experience and life experience. Without the nourishment of these things, it is difficult for you to have enough wisdom to do what you want and harvest what you want.

We don't say what mature people are like. Let's talk about what we can do to make ourselves mature towards maturity.

The following four things are the most basic practices.

Many immature friends, what they do most is to "stand still."

Yes, they really want to change themselves and make themselves stronger and stronger. The problem is that they just "think" and are eager to "get" but don't "do". Although it will be painful not to change, this kind of pain is nothing compared with the pain they get from challenging themselves. After all, the latter is much more difficult.

In that case, we might as well stay put, stay put.

My former college classmates in Hong Kong are such people. She once told me her troubles.

My classmate is very introverted and lacks independent opinions. At school, she once told me that she has always been called "a person born in a goldfish bowl" by her father, which means that she has always been taken care of and has never felt the choppy outside world. Without her parents, she is nothing. She also hates her passive personality.

Later, she really couldn't stand her father's "contempt" and made up her mind to find a way to get out of this goldfish bowl. The first step is to find a part-time job during the summer vacation. Finally, she got a job as a waitress in a western restaurant near langham place, Mong Kok.

This restaurant is very small, with only three waiters with friends. So friends have to stand and work for nearly eleven hours every day, and only one hour can sit down and eat. Every day when she comes home, her feet are splitting with pain. My friend's father said that she resigned after only a few days at most. I didn't expect my friend to do it for a month until school started.

This incident gave my friends great confidence, knowing that they were not so useless except reading. After that, every time I take a long vacation, my friends will take part-time jobs and earn money by themselves. After graduating from college, I went back to the mainland to take care of my grandmother. She continued her studies, went to Australia for further study through work-study programs, and then returned to Hong Kong to work in finance. Her father has nothing to say to her.

This is the growth that challenges bring you.

Sometimes if you don't get up the courage to cross that hurdle, you will never break through yourself and make yourself better. Give yourself appropriate challenges and try to overcome the ups and downs in this process, and you will get a different life.

What can I do to challenge myself? One of them is to enter a new circle and meet some new people.

There is a saying that "different circles don't have to be strong." That's right. If you don't study medicine, you don't need to find your place in the medical circle.

And many people who are self-enclosed are regarded as "different from themselves" except their own circles. Whether going to work or school, it's always two o'clock and one line, and every day is a repetitive life.

"Squeeze yourself to death", living in a small range, how to meet the challenge and improve your ability?

When you enter a new circle, when you want to blend in, you will definitely have some psychological changes. It is these psychological changes that can make you more deeply understand what you really want. You will know what your abilities are and what you lack at present.

First of all, in a new circle, there are bound to be all kinds of people. The behavior of these people can let you know how friendly people will be and how hypocritical people will be. When you want to deal with them or cooperate with them, you must learn to get along with different people in different ways. For sincere people, treat them sincerely, for hypocritical people, stay at a respectful distance from them, and gradually learn to protect themselves and unload simplicity.

Secondly, people in the circle will also have various abilities. When you are in it, you will find that those people are as powerful as they are, and there are people outside. You will realize your problem at this time. Are you motivated to study hard, or do you avoid going back to your "safe house"?

A few years ago, I went back to Hong Kong to get together with my classmates. One of them is a bank clerk. Everyone is saying that Hong Kong's property market can't afford a house. Then the classmate said, "You can buy a house with a mortgage loan. However, there are three kinds of mortgage loans in Hong Kong, namely fixed rate mortgage, P mortgage and H mortgage. The loan interest rate of fixed-rate mortgage is fixed in the first year or a few years, and then it will change back to floating-rate mortgage, such as P mortgage and H mortgage. P is the best interest rate. If the bank adds P, the loan interest rate will go up. As for H mortgage, it is determined by interbank interest rate. If 1 month h rises, the loan interest rate will also rise. "

That's what my friends probably said, but I actually said more technical terms, which I can't remember clearly. After hearing what he said, I was instantly stunned and really wanted to say, "Can you speak human words?"

I don't have to participate in such a circle, but when I come into contact with this circle, I find that I still have a lot to learn. Do you think you are great? There are many people who are stronger than you. How can I neglect for a moment?

So under the stimulation of my friends, I tried to understand the basic knowledge of Hong Kong's economic development. I didn't want to be a major, but at least I can help myself understand the current social development trend. Just like you don't have to be a doctor, but you have a cold, at least you should know what medicine to take and how to avoid catching a cold.

Finally, having a new circle of contacts may bring you unexpected gains. My company used to be a photography association, and many film friends who like to take pictures went in to play and became friends with the boss. Later, the boss started this business and became a prominent local company. In the past, those movie friends would get a job through the boss's introduction at some time to earn extra money.

This is the role of the circle.

So, find a new circle that suits you and embrace it with a positive attitude, and you will gain more experience.

Only a capable person can be called "mature" because he gives others confidence and can do things.

But how do we decide whether a person is "capable"?

Simply put, it is how many problems your skills can solve for others.

If you don't have any skills, learn one. In the process of learning and application, you will definitely experience the two situations mentioned above, get challenges and enter new circles. When you can overcome all kinds of difficulties during the period, you will naturally mature.

In the city where I live now, there is a middle school classmate who is in the mobile phone business. He came out to work after graduating from high school. He used to feel inferior and his face was covered with acne, so that there are still many acne pits on his face now. Later, he was unwilling to live in such a muddle, so he learned to repair his mobile phone through his own exploration and study, and finally borrowed money from home to open a shop.

A friend learns while doing, opens his own shop to work, runs his own business, visits his own home for maintenance, and does almost everything himself. Every time I go to his shop, it's basically crowded. Why is it so hot? Attitude is self-evident.

The guest wants to buy a mobile phone at midnight. Without saying anything, he drove there immediately. When it rains, guests can't go to the store to pick up the goods, so they drive directly to find each other; Even if it is such a small thing as pasting a film, he does it seriously.

In addition to the mobile phone business, he also cooperated with TV manufacturers such as LeTV and Xiaomi to become distributors. Basically, what new restaurants in this city need to install TV sets? Merchants don't go to the electric appliance city to buy, but ask their friends directly, because friends will pick up the goods and install them soon, even if the price is a bit expensive.

This attitude has made friends accumulate a lot of word of mouth. Someone asked him why he worked so hard, and he replied, "Because he is poor!" " But in fact, friends are not poor at all, just under great pressure. "Stop when it's time." After all, he has three cars, the house is bought near the downtown business district, and he has to support a son and a daughter to go to kindergarten.

Although friends have a low education level, when selling products, they often only say "sincerely easy to use", "sincerely cheap" and "sincerely busy".

However, it is this skill, and then with a positive attitude, this skill is applied to the extreme, helping him to transform from an inferior boy into a real man with blood and tears. After years of experience, he not only knows how to deal with different customers, but also knows how to solve problems for different customers. He also keeps spreading positive beliefs and becomes a "positive energy brother" in our circle of friends.

Therefore, if you don't know what to do in your life, learn a skill and apply it to the extreme, and the problems you encounter will make you feel a lot.

And in this process, you will become more and more mature.

Without wind and rain, how can we feel the splendor of the rainbow?

Experience is the nutrient for our growth. With these nutrients, we will gradually mature. Staying in a narrow circle all the time, we lack the accumulation of this nutrient, and it is difficult to help ourselves become better.

It is often that people get out of control and make a fuss when they encounter a little thing, and often live in a goldfish bowl. Because in their own world, the problems that plague them are as serious as the sky is falling. When you have experienced enough things, you will know that some bad things are the way the world is, so get used to it.

Try to experience more things by yourself.

If you want to fall in love, don't be afraid that your heart will be broken by the other party. You have never loved pain, how do you know who you want and who can accompany you for a lifetime?

If you want to start a business, don't be afraid of the losses caused by failure. If you have never been lost, how do you know what way you should choose to spend your life?

A famous writer once said that many young people now say that they want to pursue an ordinary life, which is just a joke. You lie in bed with your mobile phone, and then go to the mall to eat and watch movies with your friends every day. Is this ordinary? This is laziness, not enterprising! When you have worked hard and seriously, you can finally control your desire and be willing to have three meals and one night without quarreling. This is the real ordinary.

Don't let your life leave regrets. You must fight for what you should fight for. After all, people who have seen the scenery know what a long stream of water is.

Ask yourself, do you want to be more mature, or do you want to be a child who has been living in a goldfish bowl?