10 hilarious joke

I am ugly!

I was born twice.

The first time, a doctor dragged me out of the uterus and suddenly fainted. A nurse closed her eyes and groped for me.

Liao Hui

Go ... ...

After the second birth, everyone in the hospital hid in the morgue and cried. The dean slapped himself in the mouth, which was very strange.

Have your own

As blind as a bat, I shouldn't take over my business for money. ...

Motherly love is great. She didn't dislike me and raised me, but he put a picture of a skeleton on my face to show it.

Relieve psychological pressure, and the mask will accompany me until I am ten years old.

When I was eleven, I was in the third grade. The whole class is very curious and eager to see what is behind the mask.

What do I look like in the end? A classmate named Li Dadan tore off my mask while I was peeing. Since then, Li

Bold students got a strange disease, unable to speak, glassy-eyed, doing nothing all day, killing a person's skull.

Blink, close your eyes and you will cry. ...

The headmaster reported to the education bureau, and the education bureau sent someone. Because all the students in the school have transferred, the principal can only

After eating half a bowl of porridge, the teacher's salary has not been paid for two months ...

When people from the Education Bureau saw me, the director immediately resigned, which caused a chain reaction, and educational institutions all over the country were solving it.

scatter ...

I was walking in the street, and people on the roadside were vomiting wildly. A group of pigs rushed in front of me from behind, trying to dress me red.

Flowers, trophies, and a certificate that says: the savior of pigs.

Next door, Pockmarked Liu's daughter-in-law wants to brag to him that his pockmarked face is disgusting and she has to leave! ! ! I happened to go to their window.

Before, pockmarked Liu's wife stopped talking when she saw me. She took out the money and went to the insurance company to insure pockmarked Liu's linen.

pale ...

Also alarmed the United Nations (? Why do you want to say it again), Annan was at his wit's end and asked me to have a facelift, but it didn't work.

Plastic surgeons cried when they saw me, and nearly half of them went to a mental hospital, all with the same symptoms.

I won't say anything but one sentence: ugly ... the ugliest. ...

Arafat sent a special plane to pick me up and asked me to stand at the gate of the presidential palace to resist the siege of the Israeli army. I went to stand for a while.

Zhong, the Israeli army retreated, Sharon was forced to resign, and the Palestinian nation was jubilant. But when Arafat wanted to introduce me as a national hero,

At that time, Palestinians all over the country could not find lanterns. ...

A writer came to me with tears in his eyes: When I was so old, my biggest dream was to take Nobel Prize in Literature, but

Now the master is too powerful ... I have a unique skill. As long as I can write a book in front of you, I will definitely win the prize! ! !

I didn't believe it, so he stayed with me for a week and wrote a five-million-word novel, Seven Days in Hell.

Fruit, even the Nobel Prize in Medicine was won by him. ...

Nobel headquarters announced that if the world can find words to describe my face, it will win the literature prize, and as a result, all of it.

The writer switched to buying pork, and Nobel Prize in Literature disappeared from the scene. ...

The National Football Association specially recruited me to join the team, hoping to really rush out of Asia. In the World Cup, China didn't concede a goal in every game.

Both are 12:0. A player has a ball. After playing football, we will have a picnic on the lawn. I barbecued in front of the goal alone, and the opposing players played.

The referee even pulled out a red card, including the goalkeeper.

Of course, our team members are also trained step by step. Look at my photos first, and then look at my photos for dinner.

Dinner, and then play football. ...

The World Cup will stay in China forever, and foreign media commented that I am the embodiment of * *.

At the beginning of the world lying contest, players of all races began to talk wildly for the first time. I walked onto the stage and said only three words.

I won the championship and will keep it forever. I said, I'm not ugly.

I cried at night, looked at the moon and asked softly, me, is it nice? A white object landed gently on the moon,

I picked it up and saw that it was a small white rabbit trampled to death by Jiuyin's white bone claw. ...

I shouted at the sky: God, am I the ugliest?

The sky suddenly began to rain cats and dogs and fell on me. I touched it, and it was all vomit. ...

I left this world and came to this ancient castle. I asked the mirror: mirror mirror, who is the ugliest in this world? The mirror is flowing.

Tears, suicide, rupture ...

God forbid, why did you give birth to me?

I held a grudge and died of depression. Who knows, that terrible man forgave me and sent me back to earth. ...

So I wandered around the world, having nothing to do and playing online. I wanted to chat, so I applied for a QQ number. Who knows? ...

system

Tip: because of your disgusting face (please forgive me, my literary level is not high, I can only explain this), our company will not die.

Supply number

This is the code ...

I don't know, I this thing, can you send it out? ...

I am ugly!

Awei: This is my first time!

Ah Anzu: Never mind. I have experience. You can go in slowly!

Awei: Is that all right?

Ah Anzu: Yes, just a little!

Awei: Did you go in?

Ah Anzu: Almost, a little more!

Awei: What about now?

Ah Anzu: It's ... It's so easy to park.

My first time .. {18} was three years ago in retrospect, and I can't remember the exact time (can you forget such a thing? ) It should be next Saturday afternoon. Her parents are not at home, so it's just the two of us. There is a faint fragrance in her bedroom (just like her smell), which makes people feel complacent. This is my first time in a girl's boudoir. I can't help being curious and nervous, so I have to try my best to hide it and don't want her to see it. I tried to sit down beside her naturally, and my palms were all sweaty.

"Do you really want to go?" She smiled softly, and her expression easily surprised me. "hmm." I feel like a fool. "You seem a little nervous, giggle."

"no!" I have an embarrassment of being seen through.

"You've never sat before?" She smiled softly again.

"yes." I have to admit, I am completely disappointed.

"You call me' Sister' and I'll let you go."

This reminds me of my silly elder sister who teased me with lollipops in the yard when I was a child. I tried to restrain myself from having an attack. After three seconds of ideological struggle, I gave in. I am a person who can't resist the temptation. "Sister." The voice is so low that I wonder if she can hear it. "Good boy, come on."

She smiled softly for the third time. I'm like a prisoner who saw an amnesty. To be exact, I jumped on him. "Don't worry. That's not true. Be gentle. " After all, it's the first time, and I'm a little anxious after tinkering for a long time. ...

Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore. She snatched the mouse from my hand and began to teach me from the beginning. How to dial up a connection, how to open a browser, and how to enter a web address. Ten minutes later, I learned it all.

I can show off to others, I have sex! I will attend! These are all painful memories of my first time surfing the Internet.

It is sweet to recall the painful experience, comrades, cherish today's happy time!