Six things that novice dad must do to make mommy love you more.

Let mommy love you more. Six things that novice fathers must do. Baby only sticks to mom, not dad? Your position in the family is getting lower and lower? Your only function is to make money? As a novice dad, your current situation meets one of the above three items. This article must be read. Dr. Xu Jiaxian, a black-eyed dad, teaches you how to reverse your image in the hearts of your baby and wife in a limited time and be a novice dad praised by everyone. Pay more attention to your wife and don't ignore postpartum depression.

After the baby was born, novice parents were immersed in the joy of a new life for a long time, but the ensuing parenting life made their parents in a hurry. After all, unlike mommy, dad has been close to the baby for 10 months, but building a relationship with the baby starts from scratch. Faced with the baby's crying and complicated parenting life, it is easy to give up when he is busy. Mommy may be dissatisfied with her father's negative attitude, or have postpartum depression, so it is easy for husband and wife to quarrel endlessly and get along with the baby. In fact, with more care and methods, many difficulties in getting along can be solved.

Xu Jiaxian reminds novice fathers that his wife is also a novice mommy. When there is helplessness and hesitation in parenting for the first time, he should pay more attention to his wife's emotions and pay attention to whether there are signs of postpartum depression. Don't think that your wife won't get this disease because she is lively, outgoing and cheerful. In fact, apart from hormonal changes or stress, sometimes postpartum depression occurs without special reasons. Studies have shown that about 5% to 25% of pregnant women in the world will have postpartum depression, and sometimes postpartum depression is very mild, not necessarily a serious situation. Please ask Dad to observe whether Mommy inadvertently said "I regret having a baby", "I feel so tired" and "I feel so useless". If so, remember to chat with your wife more often and don't leave everything to mommy. If dad gives more support to the family, the pressure on mom will be reduced, and postpartum depression will be mild.

As a busy pediatrician and the father of two daughters, Xu Jiaxian made several suggestions, hoping to help novice fathers better adapt to their new roles.

Suggestion 1: It is dad's duty to bring a scarf when going out.

Wearing a scarf is a very popular way to raise children. Put the baby on your back and be close to yourself.

Not only can you free up your hands to work, but you can also interact more intimately with your baby. It is worth mentioning that research shows that wearing a backpack to carry a baby when it is crying and difficult to carry can increase the baby's self-confidence and sense of security. Because dad's body area is large, the backpack is relatively stable and powerful, so dad is most suitable for carrying a backpack when he goes out. Moreover, the scarf is a fashion accessory, which is convenient to put on and take off, easy to fold and collect, and the most convenient to go out.

Let mom and baby love you more. Novice dad must do six things "tight". When dad wears a scarf to hold the baby, the baby should stick to dad, so it will not be unsafe to swing around and the center of gravity will be relatively stable. Look, dad should always observe the baby's skin color and breathing. The younger baby suggests turning his head back to his father's direction, which not only makes him feel safer, but also pays more attention to breathing. Many years ago, in the United States and Britain, there was a poor design of a scarf, and parents could not pay attention to the baby's respiratory tract, which led to several deaths. "Head", when the baby's back is against his parents, you can kiss his head slightly downward. The purpose is to let his parents quickly respond to the baby's condition, especially when his father leans closer to his chest, he can easily feel the baby's breathing. "Chest", the baby's chin should leave the baby's chest. If it is too close, the respiratory tract will bend, that is, it will fold into the respiratory tract, causing the baby to breathe poorly. "Back", back to support. For babies under 4 to 6 months old, the neck strength is not enough, so the head will shake, so pay attention to whether the scarf gives enough support to the back.

Suggestion 2: change diapers, and dad is rushing to change.

It may seem boring to help the baby pee, but by changing the baby's diaper, the father can increase the interaction with the baby and understand the baby's physiological condition better. Xu Jiaxian emphasized that the most common mistake dad made when wrapping diapers was that he didn't wrap both sides of the diaper and didn't pull out the folds on both sides of the diaper, so the baby's urine easily leaked out.

In addition, dad should also observe whether the baby has diaper rash. If * * * baby has diaper rash, * * will have a red itchy ring with white spots on it. Because of the discomfort of itching, the body will squirm and appear restless. If the baby's environment is wet or the resistance is poor, the local maintenance layer of the skin is destroyed, and mold has the opportunity to invade the skin, diaper rash will form a serious mold infection. At this time, there will be a round circle on it, which will be rough and convex to the touch and will peel off. It will be red at first, and then it will become flesh-colored skin.

Xu Jiaxian reminded that it is not recommended to wipe the butt cream every time the baby defecates or changes diapers, because some butt creams will * * * the skin, while others will hide steroids. The thinner the skin is rubbed, the redder it becomes. If you don't rub it, it will become redder, and it won't be much better. Eventually, it will develop into a fungal infection, which may lead to drug resistance. The timing of most butt creams is mainly to ensure that the baby has diaper rash, or when the weather is dry in winter, which is not suitable for wiping every time the diaper is changed. In fact, butt cream does not have the effect of isolating sticky stool, and it is often misused by many parents. Parents are advised to change diapers frequently and wash them directly when the baby defecates to effectively prevent diaper rash and mold infection.

Let mommy love you more. Six things that novice fathers must do. Suggestion 3: the baby is breastfeeding, and the father comes in person.

Besides being breast-fed by mommy, soaking formula in a bottle or breast-feeding with a bottle are all places that dad can contribute. Xu Jiaxian said that dad should pay attention to the temperature of the heater when making milk. The World Health Organization (WHO) suggests that the temperature of soaking milk for infants under 1 year old should reach 70 degrees, which can effectively prevent salmonella and Sakazaki positive bacteria. However, drinking 70 degrees milk directly will burn the esophagus, so it is necessary to cool the bottle or rinse it with water to a suitable drinking temperature before drinking.

The baby will get flatulence when drinking milk, and dad can also help burp. Xu Jiaxian observed the hiccups of senior nurses in the nursery. In the posture part, first hold the baby upright, lean forward slightly, and then pat forward from behind, and the gas will come up. The most important thing about burping is patience. Dad, don't let the baby drink it all at once before burping, so it's easy to spill the milk. It is recommended to drink in stages. After drinking for a while, help the baby burp for 5 to 10 minutes, and let the baby burp a little before continuing to feed, so as not to overflow milk or flatulence.

Recommendation 4: Help the baby bathe. Dad will go into battle himself.

Bathing the baby is also one of dad's strengths. Within 4 to 5 months after the baby is born, the neck strength is not enough. If you don't have good support in the shower, it will be very dangerous. Dad is strong and can help hold the baby's neck and head. As for the water temperature, when dad bathes the baby, remember to put cold water first, then hot water, try the water temperature first, and then put the baby down to wash.

Xu Jiaxian believes that babies are usually happy when they take a bath. Dad and baby can play soap bubble games together, or take a shower together. When parents and children are in the bathtub together, dad can create various animals with his hands to interact with his baby. When the baby feels his care and love, he will stick to his father. However, dad must be careful. A pool with a height of only 15 cm will make the child drown, so always pay attention to the baby's condition when taking a bath, don't be distracted, and don't take your eyes off the baby to prevent danger.

Suggestion 5: play the activities that are most suitable for dad with your baby.

Research shows that in the process of raising children, the role of mother is usually functional and caring, while that of father is interactive and playful. It can be seen that playing with this part is the most suitable parenting work for dad to share. It is worth noting that playing with children when they are young will make children's interpersonal relationships, study, grades and even the smoothness of mate selection better when they grow up.

Let mom and baby love you more. Six things that novice fathers must do. Xu Jiaxian suggested that when dad and baby play together, they can combine their own interests and then turn it into a parent-child activity designed for playing with the baby, so that both dad and baby can have fun.

For example, dad likes reading, so he can read it to his baby in an interesting way and share his reading time. Dad likes photography, so he can take the baby out to play and take pictures of him. Dad likes riding a bike. He can install a baby safety seat on his bike and take the baby for a ride. Turning interest into parenting can create many fun-filled moments for parents and children.

On the other hand, when playing with the baby, dad should also be careful not to let the baby swallow the small parts of the toy by mistake, so as not to cause suffocation injury. When buying toys, you should also be careful whether it contains plasticizers. Eating too much plasticizer by mistake may lead to premature aging of sexual organs and abnormal liver function, especially for girls, so special care should be taken to prevent it.

Suggestion 6: Just give it to dad.

Sleep is the sweetest and most relaxing time. Dad is responsible for putting you to sleep, which can increase the intimacy between parents and children and make the baby stick to you from now on.

Babies sleep in different ways. Some babies sing lullabies and pat their backs and fall asleep. Some high-demand babies should be euthanized. Xu Jiaxian reminded that when sleeping, we should pay attention to whether the baby's respiratory tract is unblocked. If there is a quilt, don't cover your mouth and nose. In addition, the baby and parents should sleep in separate beds, and the mattress should be smooth and not too soft. Don't put dolls, sundries and quilts on the bed. If you are afraid of your baby's cold, you can help your baby penetrate the jumpsuit or bedspread. The room should be ventilated, not too hot or too cold, so that the baby feels refreshed.

It is worth noting that about 30% to 50% of babies will have colic. The typical symptoms of baby colic are usually crying at night after sunset, which usually starts from 2 weeks 1 month after birth, may last for 2 weeks to 1 month, and ends at the latest when the baby is 4 months old. The cause of colic is unknown. If other reasons are ruled out by the doctor's consultation, you don't need to take medicine after confirming colic. You can prescribe some probiotics to help your baby digest. Only during this period, parents' sleep will be affected, and the baby will cry no matter whether it is holding or lying down.

Xu Jiaxian believes that during the period of 0 to 4 months, the baby has the problems of night milk and colic, which is the hardest stage of nursing. Dad should share the responsibility of raising children with mommy. For example, when dad comes home from work, he immediately picks up the baby, lets mommy go to bed first, and then takes care of the baby in different periods. In addition, it should be reminded that if the baby cries until his parents can't calm him down, he should seek medical advice in time because of urinary tract infection, otitis media, hernia and meningitis. They are all expressed through crying and anxiety, so as not to delay the treatment opportunity.

Xu Jiaxian (Dr. Dad with Black Eyes)

Education background: Graduated from Medical Department of Kaohsiung Medical University.

Experience: Former Attending Physician of General Internal Medicine for Chang Gung Children in Kaohsiung.

Former Kaohsiung Chang Gung Memorial Children's Chest Attending Physician

Children's internal medicine expert of the Republic of China

Current position: Deputy Director of Ye Yili Pediatric Clinic.