How to help your family to stop drinking effectively?

Alcoholics often lack a correct understanding of their current situation. So I think it is very necessary to know my situation, my thirst for alcohol, and how serious my deformity is. First of all, you should honestly admit that you are an alcoholic, an alcoholic and a heavy drinker. Only with accurate positioning can it be possible to prescribe the right medicine. Sincerely admit that there is nothing you can do about alcohol, and your life is a mess because of alcohol. Understand the inevitable causal relationship between staying awake and getting a healthy life. This is the first step towards abstinence. It is an important premise. Without this understanding, nothing else can be discussed. This is a most basic and extremely important attitude problem, where attitude determines everything.

How to judge whether people around you are dependent on alcohol in their daily lives? (Article 14 of Medical Edition) We summarized some common drinking patterns: 1. We regard drinking as the most important or very important thing in life, occupying a central position in our hearts and never forgetting it. 2. Compared with the initial drinking, the amount of drinking increased gradually. 3. the speed of drinking is getting faster and faster. 4. Often drink secretly alone or behind your family's back. 5. Take wine as medicine to relieve emotional distress. 6. Possession of alcohol. 7. Often forget things after drinking. 8. Unplanned drinking often leads to accidents after drinking. 9. Drinking in the morning, commonly known as "open-eyed wine", some people even drink after waking up at night. 10. Drink before going to bed. 1 1. Like to drink on an empty stomach, and seldom eat vegetables when drinking. 12. Choose the brand of wine if possible. 13. Because drinking and quarreling with family members affect family harmony, or drinking affects work. 14. I once gave up drinking, but it didn't take long for my old illness to recur and get out of hand. Generally speaking, if a person's drinking behavior has more than three manifestations, it is highly suspected that it is alcohol dependence. It is often seen that some alcohol addicts have brought many adverse effects on their health, family harmony and work because of drinking, and even have some illegal behaviors after drinking. Although they feel guilty and regret for these consequences, they still can't completely stop drinking, stop drinking and drink again and again. Do they have no ambition and perseverance? No, this is because alcohol dependence is a disease, and it is a worsening disease. This disease, like diabetes and hypertension, cannot be completely eradicated. But it can be controlled. The reason for drinking again is related to the sensitivity of the body to alcohol and the psychological impulse to drink. No matter what bad consequences will be brought about by drinking again, you can't overcome it by your own perseverance. Like other diseases, there will be some characteristic clinical manifestations. Once you become dependent on alcohol, suddenly stop drinking or suddenly reduce the amount of alcohol you drink, there will be many physical discomfort symptoms, which is called alcohol withdrawal syndrome. For convenience, some people divide alcohol withdrawal syndrome into three stages according to time and severity: the first stage of alcohol withdrawal syndrome: it usually appears 6 ~ 12 hours after drinking, showing tremors in both hands. In severe cases, it can accumulate the whole upper limb or even the trunk. In severe cases, besides common symptoms such as anorexia, insomnia and irritability, tongue trembling may also occur. The second stage of alcohol withdrawal syndrome: it occurs 24 ~ 72 hours after alcohol withdrawal. In addition to the above symptoms, auditory hallucinations often occur, and the content is mostly abuse or persecution, which can lead to impulsive behavior and less excitement. Three-stage alcohol withdrawal syndrome: delirium tremens, which often occurs 72 hours after the last drinking. At this time, the patient is unconscious, has obvious tremor, walks unsteadily, and may have various vivid hallucinations, such as seeing various small animals, and the patient shows nervousness, anxiety and fear. The memory of patients is obviously impaired, and some patients may have epileptic convulsions. Even in developed countries, once delirium tremens occurs, the total mortality rate of treated patients can still reach 10% ~ 15%, and even higher for untreated patients. Therefore, it is impossible for long-term drinkers to suddenly stop drinking. If you highly suspect alcohol dependence, you should go to a specialized hospital for treatment as soon as possible. People who form alcohol dependence can't control their drinking behavior or their drinking quantity, so can they still drink normally after a period of abstinence? As far as we know, no one has ever been able to drink "normally", or just stopped drinking for months or years in social situations. Once a person develops from binge drinking to uncontrolled and desperate binge drinking, there is no turning back. Alcoholics don't deliberately drink to cause trouble, but excessive drinking is bound to cause trouble. Many people who depend on alcohol think that it is okay to drink a few cans of beer or a few glasses of light wine after a period of abstinence. Not many people get drunk after drinking a bottle or two of beer. So I mistakenly thought that I could quit by drinking only two or three bottles of beer every day. Occasionally, they can do it in a few days or weeks. Then it will be concluded that even drinking will be "comfortable". However, they will drink more and more beer or wine at a time, and before long, they will drink as much as before. Another wrong idea is to replace high alcohol with low alcohol. For alcoholics, wine is wine. No matter whether it is martini, whisky and soda water, champagne or a small glass of beer, no matter what wine you drink, it will lead to excessive drinking and repeated drinking. Therefore, it is very dangerous for alcoholics to try to control their own alcohol consumption or to drink only low-concentration alcohol after abstinence for a period of time. But in order to ensure complete abstinence from alcohol, it can only be a teetotaler. How can we do that? In addition to completing the treatment of alcohol withdrawal under the guidance of a doctor, you should also receive long-term rehabilitation treatment, including the treatment of related psychological or mental diseases, anti-relapse drugs, psychotherapy and joining some self-help rehabilitation organizations. As long as you have the desire to give up drinking and make unremitting efforts, you will succeed.

Step 2 stay away from the first glass of wine

"If you don't drink the first glass of wine, you won't get drunk." "More than one cup is not enough."

When we change from ordinary drinking to drinking, frequent drunkenness seriously interferes with our life and work, so we reduce the number of drinking, or try to control the amount of alcohol to one or two glasses, or switch from high drinking to beer or wine to avoid getting too drunk. Maybe we can stay awake for a while, and then we will start drinking again when there is an opportunity (some special celebration, personal confusion or nothing special at all). At first, we just wanted a drink. As one glass of wine has not caused any serious consequences, we think it is safe to drink another glass. But it turns out that this is just a trap-when we drink two or three cups, we feel good, and then we feel that it will be okay to drink one or two cups according to our ability. As a result, we couldn't help drinking too much and returned to the original drunken state.

Doctors who specialize in alcohol dependence told us that it was the first glass of wine that triggered the potential desire to drink, which made us out of control. This repeated experience leads us to the conclusion that it is impossible to try to control the drinking plan without getting drunk, and avoiding the key glass of wine-"Never do anything wrong with the first glass" can keep us awake for a long time.

Alcohol dependence is an addiction to alcohol. As a soft drug, alcohol is just like any other addictive substance. If we want to stay in a state of recovery, we must stay away from the first anesthetic that causes our addiction.

Step 3 Use the "24-hour" plan

In the days of alcoholism, we often solemnly swear "never to drink again" when we are very uncomfortable. "I swear not to drink for a year." From the bottom of my heart, we really don't want to get drunk again. Of course, some people will have reservations: saying that this oath is only for "spirits", not for beer. In fact, beer and wine can also make us drunk, but we just need to drink more to achieve the same effect as white wine. Drinking beer and wine is no less harmful to us than drinking spirits.

However, after a while, vows and painful memories will be forgotten. At some point, we started drinking again. Our forever will never last.

Of course, some of them did keep their promises and quit for a long time, two months, six months, or a year. Until the time came, we felt that we should be able to drink freely and control it ... We resumed drinking and soon got into the original trouble with new guilt and regret.

Alcohol dependence is a permanent and irreversible disease. Our experience tells us not to swear to stay awake for a long time. A more practical and effective statement is: "I just don't drink today."

Maybe we drank it yesterday, but we can decide not to drink it today. No matter what kind of temptation and anger we encounter, we try to avoid drinking the first glass of wine today.

If the desire to drink is too strong, then divide the 24 hours into smaller units-at least one hour-and we can tolerate the discomfort caused by this temporary abstinence, then one more hour! Another hour! Go ahead. If we succeed today, we have reason to believe that we can succeed tomorrow.

The "24-hour" plan is very casual. We can start over at any time, no matter where we are. At home, at work, in the hospital ward, at 4 pm or 3 am, we can always decide not to touch alcohol for the next 24 hours or 5 minutes.

We are just trying to live today (now), just to stay awake-it really works. Once this way of thinking becomes a part of our thinking, we find that a 24-hour life is equally effective and satisfying for dealing with other things.

Step 4 take action

The more we want to stay away from alcohol, the more we want to drink. So simply staying away from alcohol (or not thinking about drinking) is not enough.

Once you stop drinking, how do you spend your free time? Most of us have formal work to do, but we still have a lot of free time to kill. Therefore, we must cultivate new hobbies, arrange colorful activities to fill these hours, and at the same time find a suitable outlet for the energy once addicted to alcohol.

There are many meaningful things that are suitable for us to do.

1. When you start abstinence, you can take a walk or take a brisk walk. Especially to new places you've never been before. Go for a leisurely stroll in the park or country road, but it's not a tiring March.

2. read. Although some of us can't settle down to study, we really should read some books, which can broaden our horizons, increase our life experience and concentrate more.

Visiting museums or galleries, some people choose photography is also good.

4. Swimming, running, cycling, yoga or other exercises recommended by doctors.

5. Deal with long-neglected housework. Tidy up the wardrobe, dresser, file documents in different categories, or deal with things that we have put off for a long time. But when we do these things, we should not be greedy and do what we can. Don't clean the whole kitchen or all the files at once, but clean one drawer or one folder at a time and do other work another day.

6. Try to cultivate new hobbies. Choose activities that are not too expensive or demanding, purely entertaining, without competitive pressure and refreshing. Such as singing, writing, tropical fish, carpentry, basketball, cooking, bird watching, amateur performances, wood carving, gardening, guitar, movies, dancing, stone carving, potted plants, collection and so on. Many people find that the activities they really like now are actually hobbies that they never considered trying in the past.

7. regain the fun of the past. A watercolor painting, table tennis or go, reading notes, etc. The one you haven't polished for years, continue these hobbies. But if you think it's no longer suitable for you, give it up.

8. Go to class. Learn Japanese or English? Love history or math? Want to know about archaeology or anthropology? Or cooking, computer operation, and then go to correspondence, TV University or adult education (just interest, not necessarily credit certificate). There are many places where you can take classes only once a week. Why not try it? Taking classes can not only broaden your horizons, but also broaden your life. In case you are tired of the content of the class, don't hesitate to quit immediately and learn to give up activities that are not beneficial to you or have no positive, positive and healthy significance. Let us summon up courage to face it again and have the opportunity to appreciate a new side of life besides drinking.

9. Volunteer to do some useful services. Many hospitals, children's service institutions and social welfare organizations are in great need of volunteers to provide various services. We can have many choices. When we can contribute to others, even if it is only a trivial service, we will find it particularly useful. Even when we talk about the process of participating in these activities and related information, we will feel very interested and particularly involved.

10. As most of us know, there are many ways to get a new hairstyle, wear new clothes, change glasses, or even update teeth, which will have unexpected pleasant effects.

1 1. Relax. Not everything we do in our daily life must be positive and innovative. We also need to do some activities purely for fun, such as kites, zoos, comedy movies, soul music, detective stories and so on. If you don't like them, then find other fun activities that have nothing to do with drinking, just treat yourself.

Step 5 change old habits

In the process of drinking, we have fixed time periods, familiar places and habitual activities. Especially when we are tired, hungry, lonely, angry or particularly happy, these seemingly ordinary and repetitive scenes are dangerous traps for our sober life.

When we first quit drinking, it is very helpful to look back on our past drinking habits to find ways to overcome our addiction. The place where we are often used to buying wine may be the supermarket we pass by when we go to work. Each of us always has our own favorite place to drink. Whether drinking with friends or drinking at a fixed time every day, we can find out when and which days we are used to drinking from the past drinking trajectory.

We can adjust all the details of life related to drinking problems.

For the wife of an alcoholic, how to help her husband quit drinking? We alcoholics who have turned over a new leaf after giving up drinking want to tell you:

First of all, whatever your alcoholic husband says, try not to condemn him. Because alcoholism is a disease, a worsening disease. The cause of this disease is due to the sensitivity of the body to alcohol and the psychological impulse to drink. No matter what kind of adverse consequences this psychological effect will bring, it cannot be overcome by one's own will alone. If possible, treat him as a pneumonia patient.

The problems you encounter usually fall into one of the following four categories:

1. Your husband just drank too much. He often drinks, or maybe he just drinks too much on some occasions. Excessive drinking is degrading his physical and mental condition, but he doesn't realize it. He always thinks that he can control drinking, and drinking will do him no harm. He thinks drinking is the need of his business, and he is even proud of it. If someone calls him an alcoholic, he will feel insulted. A considerable number of such people will become real alcoholics before long.

Your husband often loses control when drinking. His work and career may have been affected. He sometimes drinks in the morning and during the day, and always drinks to make himself excited to eliminate tension, depression and depression. After being seriously drunk, he will regret it and tell you that he wants to give up drinking, but he can't. We think these are the characteristics of real drinkers.

Your husband may be the same as the second place, but later he got worse and worse, and he was accompanied by wine almost all day. All his friends left him, his family was almost broken, and his position could not be kept. He admits that he can't drink like others, but he wants to give up drinking.

Your husband may make you completely desperate. He has been unable to work normally, soaking in wine every day and being sent to one hospital after another. He behaves rudely when he is drunk, or shows complete madness, just like a mental patient. Sometimes when he comes back from the hospital and drinks on his way home, the doctor shakes his head and sighs.

What should we do for these men trapped in the sea of wine?

The first principle of success is that you should never get angry. What is most needed to help my husband stop drinking is patience and good temper.

Don't nag him about drinking all the time, or he may get bored and use it as an excuse to eat and drink. He will tell you that you don't understand him, and he may find someone else to comfort him-not necessarily a man.

I'm sure he needs your company and help. Even if your husband continues to drink, you should not try to reform your husband. You should ignore him. Of course, this is just the skill of our action-you are biding your time.

If you can do this, your husband may turn to appreciate your reason and patience. This lays the foundation for you to talk about his drinking problem in a friendly way when he is sober. Try to get him to take the initiative to enter this topic. Never criticize him in this discussion, but put yourself in his shoes and let him see that you want to help him, not criticize him.

Once the discussion begins, you can suggest him to join a bar, chat with alcoholics who quit drinking, or read AA books, at least read the chapters on alcoholism; Tell him you just want him to take care of his health. At the same time, show him that you have confidence in his ability to quit drinking or moderate temperance. In this way, you may succeed in attracting his attention to the drinking problem.

If this method fails to attract your husband's attention, you'd better drop the topic first, but after you have a friendly conversation for a while, your husband usually takes the initiative to reopen the topic soon.

For the second husband, he probably really wants to give up drinking. Explain to him that the author of these materials is an alcoholic, and he may be interested enough to continue reading.

If he is lukewarm and thinks he can't drink, we suggest you go with him. Don't try so hard, he has sown the seeds in his heart-he knows that thousands of people like him have recovered. Sooner or later, you may find that he has been communicating with others in the bar, or reading AA information. Wait patiently until he falls repeatedly, and make sure that he must act, because the more you rush him, the more likely it is to delay his recovery.

If your husband belongs to the third category and you are sure that he wants to give up drinking, you can introduce him to give up drinking and show him AA information. Maybe he is not as eager as you, but he will almost certainly take action and may start to implement the abstinence program at once. Similarly, you can't put pressure on him. Let him make his own decisions. Quietly watching him drink again and again. Talk to him about his situation only when he brings up the topic. In some cases, let people outside the family urge him to act, so as not to cause resentment.

You will think that the fourth kind of person must be hopeless, but this is not the case. Everyone has lost confidence in them, and failure is a foregone conclusion. However, as long as we stick to our previous actions with confidence, such people will often get amazing and powerful rehabilitation. Because after falling to the bottom, people generally try to climb up out of the instinct of survival. They are more likely to quit drinking successfully.

About yourself, you may be worried about other people's comments, so you don't want to meet your friends, or even talk about this topic with your parents, or know how to explain it to your children.

In fact, you don't have to talk about your husband in detail with others, but you can quietly let your relatives and friends know the nature of his illness. However, you must be careful not to embarrass or hurt your husband.

Once you explain to these people that he is a patient, the gap between you and your friends will disappear with the increase of sympathy and understanding. You won't feel embarrassed anymore, and you won't feel that you need to apologize. It seems that your husband has a bad personality. He may have many shortcomings, but he is by no means a bad character. Your courage and calmness will bring miracles to your social life.

These principles also apply to children. Unless the child really needs the protection of the father, if you quarrel with the child while drinking, it is best not to take sides. Use your energy to improve the understanding atmosphere around you. In this way, every alcoholic's nervousness at home will be alleviated.

When your husband is drunk, you often feel obligated to tell his boss or leader and friends that he is ill. If they have the right to know where he is and what he is doing, although you want to protect him, you shouldn't lie to those people. When he is sober and in a good mood, ask him again what you should do if you are put in this situation again, so that he can see his situation clearly.

There is also a helpless fear-you may be afraid that your husband will lose his job; Maybe a few times. If it happens again, you might as well look at it from another angle. Maybe this is that every dark cloud has a glimmer of hope! Because great pressure may make your husband decide never to drink again.

The problem of alcoholism remains to be solved. If you and your husband find a way out, of course you will be very happy. However, no problem will be solved instantly.

You will encounter some obstacles, including anger, hurt feelings and resentment. Your husband can be irrational sometimes, so you should be ready to criticize him. A small matter in family life may also lead to a stormy quarrel. These family disputes are quite dangerous, especially for your husband-don't forget that resentment is fatal to drinkers. Of course, you don't want to obey your husband You just need to be careful not to argue with him in a resentful or accusing way. Mutual tolerance is a rule. If you both show a desire to make up for your shortcomings, you don't need to criticize each other.

Your husband knows that he owes you more than just staying awake. Once his drinking problem is solved, he wants to be a successful person. But you can't expect too much. His thoughts and behavior habits are accumulated over the years. Therefore, you may need new interests and important life goals as much as your husband. Like your husband, you should think about what you can contribute to your life, not how much you can get from it. In this way, your life will be more fulfilling.

Maybe you always made a good start, but just when everything was going well, he came home drunk again, which made you very discouraged. If you are sure that he really wants to overcome his addiction to alcohol, there is no need to panic. It would be great if he never recurs, but according to the experience of many of us, sometimes recurrence is not necessarily a bad thing-your husband will immediately realize that if he wants to cure the disease, he must redouble his mental activities and keep learning. You don't need to remind him of his mental shortcomings-he will know for himself.

Never arranged his life. He will be aware of any guiding intentions or things you have done for him to avoid temptation. The important thing is that he should feel absolutely free to come and go. If he is drunk, don't blame yourself. Then, you and your husband can immediately pay attention to the fundamental problem.

In short, we need to arouse men's strong desire to quit drinking and try to make them change their minds. Once they are on the road, we must give up the idea of continuing to be their crutches, because abstinence is their own business after all, and it is a lifelong thing.

Rory is a little wordy here, but what we are talking about is a summary of our own painful experience. We learned this hard at a great cost. Therefore, we sincerely hope that you can understand and avoid these unnecessary difficulties.

Persistence, hard work and attention to skills, I believe that most alcoholic husbands can succeed with the help of their wives.