Ten best jokes in history, 19, make you cry.

Ten comprehensive jokes: 1 One day, my friends and I were hiking in the local scenic spot. When we were resting on the side of the road, we met two beautiful women from the client company. We said hello and chatted for a while. When I turned to leave, I heard two beautiful women behind me ask, "Who is this man?" . . . . . . 2. One day, I took the stage to receive the prize on behalf of my unit, standing on the stage happily, enjoying the scenery brought by the flash. Suddenly I found a colleague I knew pointing at me, as if to imply something. Is the medal upside down? I looked down. No, everything is fine. After stepping down, he passed the buddy's position and quietly said something that almost fainted on the spot: "Brother, your pants are not zipped!" " 3. At the wedding celebration, the master of ceremonies "interviewed" the father-in-law who stood by: "Have you always been satisfied with your daughter-in-law?" My father-in-law smiled and nodded again and again and said, "Satisfied, a hundred satisfied. "The MC then asked," So, do you want your daughter-in-law to give you a grandson or a daughter? " My father-in-law said without thinking, "Everything is fine, everything is fine. "4. Someone sent a wreath to his friend who just died. The ribbon says, "Rest in peace, goodbye. "Afterwards, he felt that his meaning was still unfinished, and he called the funeral home again:" Please add' in heaven' before' goodbye', if it can be squeezed. "At the funeral the next day, his wreath ribbon read:" Rest in peace, see you in heaven, if it can still be squeezed. "I have money and I don't know how to spend it. I went to buy leather shoes. I joked with the waiter and said, "Is anyone wearing leather?" The waiter got angry and said, "Are you sick? There's ghost skin. Do you want it? "Later, I spent more than 1000 to buy a pair, and I took it back for people to see. God knows what leather it is! 6. Playing QQ is fun to fight the landlord. Because I forgot to prepare, I was asked out of the room by a third-level blue diamond player. Tencent immediately popped up a web page, which is a channel opened by various blue diamonds. I turned it off with a smile! Am I that mean and vicious? 7. My buddy's wife said that no matter how expensive the house is, you have to borrow money and wear clothes and shoes. My buddy said, what if I have no money to eat? His wife said, "I'd rather starve to death beautifully!" ""8. A woman felt that she was too stupid, so she went to the doctor, hoping to get some medicine to make her smart. The doctor charged her 5000 yuan and prescribed her medicine. Three weeks later, the woman came back and said that the medicine was useless, and the doctor immediately doubled the dose. A month later, the woman came back and said to the doctor, "doctor, I always feel cheated." Your medicine doesn't work at all! " "Doctor:" How useless! Now you're not smart? ! "9, Mid-Autumn slogan National slogan: Mid-Autumn home, everyone is responsible! Beauty: It turns out that the moon can be more round! CCTV: The moon cake is as big as the heart! ! Calcium in calcium: It's Mid-Autumn Festival. Its moon cakes are very expensive. One dollar is worth five dollars. It tastes terrible! Look at me, I've been throwing up for five days, and I still can't stop! Bai Jiahei: Last year, I spent the Mid-Autumn Festival alone and didn't fall asleep. I went home this Mid-Autumn Festival and slept soundly. Traffic slogan: a glass of wine in Mid-Autumn Festival, two lines of tears for relatives! XX brand moon cakes are rich in nutrition, and teeth prefer them. 10, three days off: the first day is Teachers' Day, the second day is 9. 1 1 10th anniversary, and the third day is Mid-Autumn Festival. Thank you, teacher, bin Laden and Chang 'e!

Seek the strongest and funniest joke in history

There is a family. His father has a son named Xiao, a daughter named Shi, a grandson named Pan, and a granddaughter named Pan Feiting. Later, when his father died, they invited a scholar to read his name at the funeral, but the scholar was poor and didn't know those words. He thought, forget it, read it now. So, he read aloud: "The dutiful son struggles." The dutiful son was taken aback and thought, "Is there such a habit here? Is the dead going to somersault? " He had to do a somersault. The scholar read again: "Filial piety, yes." He didn't know how to pronounce' teacher', and his filial daughter cried, "I want to translate, too?" At this time, the scholar remembered the pronunciation of the word' teacher' and said happily, "teacher." The dutiful daughter unwillingly turned a somersault. When the scholar saw it, he thought it was the habit of this village, and the dead also had to somersault and said with a smile, "The people in this village are really strange." So he continued to read: "Filial piety, twice." Filial piety sun also barely turned over two. Granddaughter saw it and thought, "Wow! One is worse than the other. I had better hurry now. " Just as she was about to leave, the scholar shouted, "Don't run, be filial to your granddaughter, it's inconvenient!" ! " .

The most classic joke in history

The most classic joke in history:

1, the old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" My uncle said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

2. Two charming children got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!

3. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were knocked down. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, damn it!

5. A little dog climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. The dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said, look who is cruel.

6. The mouse is particularly depressed because he has no girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.

7. The ant is lying lazily in the soil, stretching out a leg, and a friend asks you why. Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.

8, the woman is ugly, can't marry, and hopes to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car.

9. Frog and toad became brothers. Toad said, I am the eldest brother. The frog said: no, you see your zit is still there. I must be the eldest brother!

10, a real estate agent advertised "buy a house and send furniture" to promote the house. Someone bought a new house and decorated it to get furniture. Real estate agent: Where's your furniture? We will deliver the goods to your door!

Top Ten Most Powerful Jokes in History

1, I believe everyone has encountered it. I took a sign that said deaf people asked for donations. Once the landlord met me, he answered directly, I am deaf, too.

2. A parent found a teacher and said that his child's grades had dropped recently. He used to get about 25 points in the exam, but now he has reached 20 points. The teacher explained it clearly in one sentence: they are all multiple-choice questions. It used to be one out of four, but now it's one out of five.

After the results of college entrance examination, I envy the couple who entered the same school hand in hand. The girl is high-spirited, the boy is brave and fearless, the girl is ingenious, and the boy has excellent moral character and excellent study. Girls reported cakes and boys reported auto repair.

My father and I decided to repeat the college entrance examination. At this time, my grandfather couldn't help it, and roared: "If you don't do well in the exam, you won't do well in the exam. Why take poison! "

The passenger plane crashed into the sea, and the flight attendant asked the passengers to go into the sea from the slide. The passengers did not dare, and the flight attendant asked the captain for help, and the captain quickly got it. The flight attendant asked him why, and the captain said, tell Americans that it is an adventure, tell the British that it is an honor, tell the French that it is romantic, tell the Germans that it is a rule, and tell the Japanese that it is an order. The captain also said: China people are so easy to mess with, just tell him it's free.

6. Today, a friend went up the mountain, and a marching monk saw us digging bamboo shoots. He said that bamboo shoots are delicious. Go home and eat a bamboo shoot fried meat! Then my sister asked, how do you know that bamboo shoots are delicious if you don't eat meat? The monk said: I am not a born monk.

7. "Do you know why apples are red and green, and the two sides are different?" "Oh, that's because of the sun. The side that basks in the sun turns red, and the side that does not bask in the sun turns green. " "So that's it. The skin of that watermelon is green and the flesh is red. The sun must have come in! "

8. A girl came to class. She introduced herself: "I may not be the smartest, I may not be the most beautiful, I may not be the best, I may not be the most humorous." Everyone in the class praised her modesty. After class, I saw her name and realized that her name was Wei.

9. Watching the Romance of the Three Kingdoms with my wife, I said smoothly: What do you think I can do in the Three Kingdoms? The wife said leisurely: Tie it to the grass boat and borrow an arrow!

10, the wife suddenly asked her husband, "Do you love me?" "Love, of course!" The husband answered without hesitation. The wife thought for a moment and asked, "Are you afraid of hurting me?" The husband quickly said, "No, no, I said I was afraid of hurting me."