How to get along in marriage?

The way to get along with marriage, affection and marriage are two completely unnecessary concepts. Many people say that marriage is the grave of affection, and it is the way to get along with marriage, so that your marriage can go further and decide how far it can go. Here are some ways to get along in marriage. The way to get along in marriage is 1 1. Don't ignore the problem. Most women can feel that there are problems between themselves and their partners, but many times they choose to turn a blind eye to reduce contradictions and disputes. However, only by recognizing the existence of problems can we find ways to improve ourselves or improve the relationship between two people. No one is perfect, even couples with good feelings may have habits that are difficult to reconcile in life. If you feel that some problems can't be completely solved, you can bear it. Just be clear about each other's feelings, and don't let problems accumulate into emotions and eventually erupt into "war." Small friction is always inevitable, but as long as you are alert to the problems in getting along, you will not let recurring problems and grievances accumulate. 2, communicate more, lose your temper less, encounter unpleasant problems, or when two people have a dispute, most women are prone to lose their temper. Although a gentle temper can attract men's attention, if you lose your temper often, your feelings will easily fade after a quarrel. Problems between two people are not necessarily each other's fault, so don't get angry whenever you encounter contradictions. Many times, trying to calm down and communicate with each other calmly can alleviate the grievances and dissatisfaction in two people's hearts, and there will be no unhappiness when they encounter similar problems again. Slowly, even if you can't solve the problem fundamentally, it won't cause trouble and harm to the relationship between two people. 3, do more things that make two people happy. One person's happiness can be passed on to the other, and two people's happiness can be doubled. Whether it is cooking a meal at home on the anniversary, going out for a big meal, or going to see each other's favorite movies together, these things can accumulate happy memories. Although it is only a trivial matter, these pleasures can dilute the friction and unhappiness in daily life. When positive emotions such as happiness and happiness accumulate, the happiness of life will also increase, and their feelings will naturally be more stable and more able to bear various problems. Trivia is the most easily overlooked, but it has the greatest impact on life feelings. Dissatisfaction will accumulate, and happiness will also accumulate. Whether trifles become the basis of quarrels or the adjustment of life depends entirely on daily choices. Instead of blaming criticism, it is better to encourage no one to like living in criticism. A partner is the person who has been together the longest. If you are unhappy at work, you can avoid leaving the working environment, but you can't avoid being unhappy at home. Everyone has shortcomings, but everyone wants to be affirmed, whether it is outsiders or family members, but it is often close people who are more likely to bring accusations and criticisms. Because living together, the shortcomings are easily magnified. Partners should remember each other's good things more and pay less attention to each other's bad things. If you feel unbearable, you can point it out, but don't blame them. Encouragement can make people more active, but criticism will make people less and less willing to cooperate. Marriage life is originally two people working together. If one person lacks the will to cooperate, another person will have a hard time. Obviously, every family looks similar, but the happiness of marriage is completely different. Secrets are all in the details, and the most easily overlooked ones are often the most important. Those women who understand this truth make their marriage life picturesque. Although there are daily necessities, they will not feel bored and tired, because people who know how to get along always hide happiness in their lives. The way to get along with marriage 2 knows how to get to know each other better. Love is just an affair, but marriage is very realistic. Falling in love can make you taste sweet and bitter, but after marriage, it is bittersweet. When two people get married, they will inevitably experience a series of major changes and daily contradictions, such as the birth of children, the change of jobs, and the illness of their spouses. A divorce lawyer once said, "Before they got married, they were strangers; After marriage, they are husband and wife; But after three years of marriage, they became enemies. " This is because of love and pity, but in the end, because of the poor running-in of marriage, it gradually became an enemy. Many feelings come to the end, not love or hate, but disgust from the bones. Only by truly understanding a person can we know how to contact each other, and we can resist the storms in marriage together and prevent marriage from getting lost. My friend Lao Li loves photography and writing, but he doesn't like talking to others very much. He is always immersed in his own world. And his wife Xiaoling, cheerful and sociable. After marriage, his wife always encourages Lao Li to insist on writing and photography. She will praise his works and even proudly share them with people around her. Lao Li, who has always been introverted, is more and more cheerful and often accompanies his wife to participate in activities. In the process of getting along with each other in the future, it is more important to appreciate each other's hobbies in every second of life. In this way, they have deepened their feelings while achieving themselves. Encourage each other's hobbies and appreciate each other's specialties, so that in the years of communication, the more you look, the happier you are. What really makes two people's feelings flow must be a deeper understanding of each other. People will change, and only by constantly understanding each other can marriage remain strong. Only by seeing each other's bright spots can we extend temporary love into lifelong appreciation. If couples can continue to care about each other in their daily lives and constantly update their understanding of each other, such a marriage will inevitably last forever, and the more they love each other, the deeper they love each other. Know how to praise each other. Psychologist william james once said: "The most essential desire in human nature is to be appreciated." In daily life, we often praise what our spouses do, no matter how big or small, to convey the feeling of love and maintain the harmony of marriage. Praise is a good way to maintain a happy marriage. Mutual praise in feelings must be from the heart and indispensable. Try to find out the excellent qualities of your spouse, recall the good old days together and enhance your feelings. By recalling and talking about the happy times they experienced together in the past; Praising your spouse's merits and qualities from time to time can enhance the good feeling between husband and wife. Two people have been together for a long time, and it is easy to take each other's "good" for granted. But if you want to have a beautiful marriage, you just need to remember these "good" from time to time, just like meeting for the first time in your life. In retrospect, when we are in love, what we like most is praise. Even if the other party does a small thing, we can't wait to tell the world. However, from lovers to partners, many people put away their praise. In fact, each of us likes to praise, but it is difficult to be the one who takes the initiative to praise. If there are traces of happiness in feelings, then knowing "mutual praise" is the best way. Mr. and Mrs. Max Zhang and Mr. Ada Choi are a pair of people who like to praise each other. When they got married, Max Zhang was a little-known star, while Ada Choi was already a first-class star. Because of this, the media always say that "women are strong and men are weak" and call Max Zhang by his wife. But in this marriage, Ada Choi never stints in praising Max Zhang. When her husband's new movie was released, she fell in love with her sister and ran to the media to tell her to put Max Zhang's name first when reporting on them. Every few days, I bask in love on social networks. Every time we appear together, we always open our mouths and shut up and praise our husbands. In a program, when asked what is the most important thing to maintain a family, Max Zhang said without hesitation: "Appreciate each other". When the tepid Max Zhang won the Golden Horse Award for Best Supporting Actor, his wife Ada Choi was the first person to thank him. He said frankly: "It is said that you have to rely on your wife in this life. Yes, my happiness in this life really depends on Ada Choi. " Ada Choi in the audience was moved to tears, but she didn't forget to raise her hands to praise her husband. Although there are some barriers between them and the outside world is not optimistic, their marriage is full of happiness. The happiness of marriage can not be separated from each other's praise. Piano Prince Lang Lang and his wife Gina are the sweetest couple on the show. Gina made tomato and egg noodles for the first time. She was in a hurry. The noodles are ready, and they are a little burnt. When Gina anxiously asked Lang Lang, "Can I eat?" Lang Lang said with great support: "It's fine". At the same time, I don't forget to praise: "Noodles are simply delicious!" Then he picked up the bowl and drank all the soup. Lang Lang said, "I must not let you do it for nothing." Perhaps the egg noodles are not as delicious as expected, but he still praised his wife again and again. The secret of keeping marriage fresh is not stingy with praise and responding to each other's efforts in time. No matter how solid the feelings are, they can't stand the bad reviews for many years. If you don't know how to praise and appreciate in marriage, life is destined to be a chicken feather. No one is perfect. Some people only see each other's shortcomings and make unremitting efforts to be bad judges of marriage, but in the long run, even the perfect love will be exhausted in constant questioning. If you want to go on with that person, why don't you look at each other's advantages, praise them more and be a teacher of praise in marriage? Praise can be words or actions, as long as the other person feels it. Praise is a power that brings two people closer together. And mutual praise not only gives us the strength to love each other more, but also gives us better and better motivation. Know how to enhance each other's feelings in ordinary little things. Married life is always more dull than passion. The secret of a happy marriage is to be intimate with your spouse in daily chores. For example, do one or two small things for your spouse every day to meet their needs as much as possible. Couples can gradually deepen their feelings by keeping in touch with each other in daily chores. Go to the supermarket together, share housework together, call each other to greet each other at work, watch TV together after dinner, listen carefully to each other's recent mood, and plan the family future together. It is these ordinary little things that let each other know that they are valued by their spouses all the time. Being able to give each other unexpected surprises in life often acts as an emotional "stimulant". To this end, we might as well create more unexpected surprises in our lives, which is very beneficial to enhance the feelings between husband and wife. When the relationship becomes familiar, things like hugging and holding hands are often ignored by couples. Try to hold your lover's hand when shopping, or hold his hand at the dinner table. This kind of physical contact will make your feelings closer. Body language contains great energy, and just a hug or a hand can warm your love. Marriage Psychology points out that everyone is eager to be understood and considerate by his lover, and the premise of all this is that his lover knows how to listen to himself effectively, understand his own meaning and feel his own feelings. Therefore, if you want to enhance the feelings between husband and wife, you must learn to listen, which can not only narrow the distance between husband and wife, but also make the relationship between husband and wife more harmonious. There is no harm in traveling between husband and wife. Especially when your marriage is in a period of exhaustion or bottleneck, you might as well take a trip. You will find that during the journey, you experienced some difficulties together and enjoyed the scenery together, which made your feelings stronger. Couples can sometimes plan a candlelight dinner to add some romantic atmosphere to this marriage. Marriage also needs a sense of ceremony. For example, on the wedding anniversary, you can dress up beautifully, have a candlelight dinner, sit together, talk about life and talk about the marriage process over the years. Once the husband and wife have such awareness, they will be closer, thus communicating deeper feelings, generating brand-new passion and making their feelings last. In marriage, it is the happiest thing to be seen, heard, understood, accepted and be true to yourself by the loved ones. Know how to respect each other and achieve each other. Marriage is an art of mutual respect. The more couples respect each other, the happier and more stable their marriage will naturally be. In The Three of Us, Mr. Jiang Yang once wrote: "When a man and a woman are combined, the most important thing is their feelings and the degree of mutual understanding. Only by in-depth understanding can we appreciate each other, attract each other, support each other and encourage each other, and we can two of a kind. " Although Qian Zhongshu can't do any housework, he insists on cooking breakfast for his wife all his life. While studying at Oxford University in England, every day when Jiang Yang was still asleep, all thumbs Qian Zhongshu got up early to make breakfast, including eggs, bread, milk, butter, jam, honey and mellow black tea. Although the method is simple, it is rich in style. He put these on a small table, and then put the small table in front of Jiang Yang. Jiang Yang is like a little princess, enjoying the sweet happiness of breakfast. Jiang Yang's talent was not under Qian Zhongshu, even before Qian Zhongshu became famous. Several of her plays were put on the stage very early, and the eight-volume translation of Don Quixote is recognized as the best translation. When Qian Zhongshu asked Jiang Yang, "I want to write a novel, will you support me?" Jiang Yang said flatly, "Yes!" This will means that Jiang Yang will give up his literary career and fully support her husband. In order to save money, she dismissed the maid at home and took care of all the housework, chopping wood and cooking, washing quilts, being caring and attentive, and taking care of the young and the old. Finally, with the full support of Jiang Yang, Qian Zhongshu finished his book Fortress Besieged. When Jiang Yang mentioned her husband, she was full of admiration and pride. Career is the economic lifeline of marriage and family, and the two complement each other. A happy marriage can make both husband and wife grow together. The marriage between David and Guan Yue is beautiful, but this beautiful support is mutual growth. While doing a good job as David's wife, Guan Yue keeps improving her knowledge. 20 10 went to cheung kong graduate school of business to study for EMBA MBA20 12 and returned to Beijing Film Academy to study for MFA. 2065438+In June 2005, he got a master's degree in fine arts, and also served as a teacher of Beijing Film Academy. With the support of Guan Yue, David acted carefree and created more good works. A happy marriage must be mutual respect, mutual achievement and mutual fulfillment. The marriage between Xi Murong and her husband Liu Beihai perfectly illustrates this quality. Xi Murong's poems are well known to readers. In contrast, Liu Beihai is not as famous as Xi Murong. This relationship of "women are strong and men are weak" makes many people not optimistic about their marriage. Many years later, Liu Beihai wrote a famous wife, and everyone realized that a good marriage is to support each other and become each other's medicine. After Xi Murong became famous, he was busy creating and providing material support for his family. However, at that time, whether a woman could cook was an important criterion to evaluate whether a woman was a good wife. It happens that Xi Murong is a woman who doesn't like cooking and can't cook. When their daughter was in primary school, she once wrote: When I become a mother, I will steam a lot of steamed buns, jiaozi and cakes in the steamer at home, so that my children can eat those fat, white and fragrant snacks as soon as they come home from school, so that they will feel very happy. She is full of apologies and guilt about cooking. Liu Beihai comforted her and let her create with peace of mind. The family affairs were shared by the two. In A Famous Wife, Liu Beihai also said that his wife is actually a good wife. Besides cooking, we can do most things at home, big and small. In 2008, Liu Haibei died. Xi Murong recalled: "He was my biggest supporter. Where am I today, he always supports me behind my back ... I want to thank him. " A good marriage means that people care about each other in their lives and support each other in their careers. Such feelings are eternal. Know how to tolerate each other. Some people say, "there is no feeling of not quarreling, only an intolerant heart." Even the happiest couples sometimes disagree. However, happy couples are good at turning differences into soft fingers, while unhappy couples often turn differences into quarrels. The reason why the outcome is so different lies in whether one side is willing to compromise and accommodate the other side when facing differences. Happy couples, when they have differences, will start talking in a gentle way, complaining directly, without criticizing or accusing each other. When two people are overwhelmed by emotions because of an argument, they should press the pause button in time and continue to communicate after the emotions of both sides calm down. In communication, don't try to influence your spouse's opinion, but sincerely consider accepting the other party's position and finally reach a compromise. Bai said in a speech: In love, we must appreciate each other's advantages, and in marriage, we must tolerate each other's shortcomings. The sign of mature marriage is tolerance for each other's shortcomings. Such as Carina Lau and Tony Leung Chiu Wai. Tony Leung Chiu Wai is an introverted person. He usually doesn't talk much and likes to be alone. Carina Lau, on the other hand, loves to play. He usually likes to call his friends and is often photographed by the media. Such two people, when everyone is not optimistic. They live their own happiness, their love has remained unchanged for many years, and their married life is a model of husband and wife life. Carina Lau takes care of Tony Leung Chiu Wai's sensitive personality, will not force him to date her, and will tolerate everything about him. She used to spit out that Tony Leung Chiu Wai was the shopkeeper at home, but in the end she smiled and said, "But I still want to protect him like this." . The way to get along in marriage 3. Don't complain about marriage. Neither side will deal with the other's dissatisfaction with nagging and complaining. Frank communication and rational communication are the keys to resolving contradictions. A criminal defense lawyer who has been engaged in family disputes for more than ten years concluded that the most critical reason for all the divorce cases he came to was his wife's complaints and nagging. You don't have to try to change the other side. Everyone should strive to renew and transform themselves. You can't always think about using your norms to consider and regulate each other. No matter what connection you have with ta, it will hurt ta, but after all, you can't update and transform ta. Why do many people become so sweet and harmonious when they are in love? Because everything on the other side is so personal to each other. If they form a family, they usually inadvertently stipulate that the other party should take themselves as the management center and try to make the other party become what they want. After a long time, differences began to appear between them, and even eventually escalated, leading to the breakdown of husband and wife's feelings. Because everyone is an individual of 1, "I" is "I" and "I" cannot be changed by others. There is no need to ask the other party to be a former British prime minister. Lincoln owns everything, but his married life is so messed up that the final assassination may be all about him. After more than 20 years of marriage, Lincoln's car was always spent in his wife's complaints and demands. In the eyes of Lincoln's wife, Lincoln has no advantage at all, and everything can be made fun of by her. Moreover, Lincoln's wife's teasing and reprimanding of Lincoln is almost completely regardless of the occasion. Sometimes walking down the street, Lincoln's car wife had an argument with a loud voice, and the whole street knew what she was yelling at. You are the prime minister, but you have such an disgraceful wife, and the lining of Lincoln's car is gone. I think ordinary people can't bear the unrestrained life of food, clothing, housing and transportation and making fun of them. So, in the end, Lincoln would rather choose hotels and restaurants outside than go home. Montaigne, a French writer, said in On Marriage: "Some people believe that a happy marriage should consist of a blind woman and a deaf person. I think this person can say that he has a deep grasp of marriage. " Complaining is like a reef that damages a happy marriage, and demanding is a complete opponent that damages marriage. Please don't stare at each other's defects all the time. This will not only change each other's defects, but also hurt each other's feelings, which is of no benefit. Praise can produce unexpected surprises. Praise is one of the most pleasant languages in the world. I think many people have heard of it. It can not only make the praised human body feel happy from the inside out, but also inspire and help him build up confidence. Praise is like a dense candy, which melts many unhappiness encountered in daily life. Therefore, if you want a happy marriage, don't be stingy with your praise. The point of basic necessities of life shows that romantic marriage is not terrible. Many people have two completely different living habits before and after marriage, which is considered a terrible place. After creating a home for each other, the couple naturally rolled up their sleeves and returned to the world. Rice, oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar tea are all for raising children and working, so romantic individuals are collected and given to them to find the balance point of their differences. But even if we get married, we are not only the children of our parents, but also the parents of our children, and we are common wives and husbands. In the future, food, clothing, housing and transportation are everyone's needs, and the other party's contribution cannot be ignored. Chartonu said: "If love continues in marriage, it must be made into a collection of novels." In other words, it is necessary to add blood and meat to the tragic and charming plot at that time. No matter big or small, it is most important to pay attention to every key point of food, clothing, housing and transportation and live every wonderful moment of marriage. For example, give each other a hug 1 at the door and buy a bunch of flowers to decorate your home before coming home from work. You can walk past your wife's favorite dessert shop with this dessert. My husband loves fitness and can exercise with him in his spare time. Even elderly couples should not forget the key point of romance. In order to maintain the sensitivity necessary for initiative, carefully maintain every key point in daily life and create some small surprises and romance anytime and anywhere, which is definitely a good news element in marriage. You should also pay attention to family etiquette. People are taught to be polite from an early age. This is not only a self-cultivation, but also helps you acquire a good personality. But few people tell you that people who are open to the outside world should be polite, and it is also necessary for those who are close. There is no doubt that most people are usually polite to customers, but blatant to their families. It is not easy to accuse customers from afar of violating the privacy protection of others, but they often violate the privacy protection of their loved ones without mercy. Therefore, in marriage, we should also pay attention to civility and politeness. Love means overcoming. You don't have to rely on the other person to be your closest person. You blatantly use rude language and personal behavior to hurt ta. Treat your lover like a normal person, and express it loudly if you like it. For a while, the other party forgot to say sorry because of language mistakes or poor personal behavior. Don't take it for granted that the other party has worked hard for you. You should sincerely thank ta for her contribution.