High emotional intelligence is the external expression of kindness.

we often say that we want to be with people with high emotional intelligence. Generally speaking, people with high emotional intelligence tend to have outstanding social skills and strong communication skills; Outgoing, upright and compassionate; In the face of difficulties, will not fall into fear, self-healing ability; Dedicated to the cause, belonging to the action school; Whether alone or with many people, you can feel at ease, at the same time, you are calm and get along with others, which makes people feel warm.

Nowadays, all kinds of training institutions in the market play the banner of cultivating children with high emotional intelligence, and with some seemingly effective methods, children can quickly become people with high emotional intelligence, which makes many parents yearn for it. In fact, this is still a short-term utilitarian purpose. If the organization puts forward that "we teach children to be kind people", it is estimated that parents are definitely not interested in letting their children learn. Is kindness useful? Don't I know kindness after reading so many books and studying for so many years?

The manifestations of EQ are indeed related to childhood education and environment, which is a step-by-step process. However, perhaps many people forget that EQ has nothing to do with education level, which does not mean that the higher the education level, the higher the EQ will grow with it. In our life, we see that some senior intellectuals' families still seem to have low emotional intelligence in many cases, and what they say and do does not consider other people's feelings at all, which makes them very hurt. On the contrary, in life, many people who don't even know words and who haven't studied book knowledge don't mean that their EQ will be low.

It turns out that there is only one quality that can determine high EQ, and that is kindness. Kindness is a magic weapon that can nourish the soul, keep one's emotions in a peaceful state and give love to others.

We are often surprised at why some children who come out of isolated mountainous areas have almost illiterate parents, but they still have a strong ability to integrate into the new environment. He always looks at the world with a kind eye and is tolerant of others. Always stand up when others need help. Finally, many people find that such people are really popular with everyone. "Simple and kind" means his ability to get along with people in any environment.

and all this must be closely related to the environmental influence of his parents or family. Kindness is his way of looking at the world. His mother or family did it, and he naturally did it. For example, don't say what hurts others, and don't do what hurts others.

I believe that such parents give their children absolute support in a way of love and trust. Because of kindness, their emotions will remain in a relatively stable state. Therefore, words and deeds are the true meaning of education, not the skills and methods of high emotional intelligence learned in training institutions, because those are not kindness that touches the soul, so there is no continuous performance for the real high emotional intelligence.

Yu Hongmin, the founder of New Oriental, has made many people dream of learning English well. When he entered Peking University, he became the most popular person because he swept the floor of his dormitory every day. He once said that in the early days of the founding of New Oriental, his classmates tried their best to help him. The reason was that just because you insisted on sweeping the floor every day for four years, I thought you were trustworthy. He himself said that it was hard work that made his initial career. In my opinion, kindness is really popular with his classmates, and high emotional intelligence is the secret of his success. Only kindness can make you happy with what you do, be tolerant and friendly to others, and not care about that personal contribution.

what is kindness? According to the relevant explanation of encyclopedia: kindness, everyone is promoted to goodness; The innate ability to judge right and wrong and good and evil is good. Kindness means that everyone has the essence of upward promotion. In the process of self-improvement and self-improvement, people are sure to benefit others and all beings, and they are praised by the public and become finished products; At the same time, if they voluntarily give up the rewards (merits, fame, benefits, rewards, etc.) accumulated by their products and give them back to the society, they will accumulate into virtue. This moral character is a comprehensive embodiment of people's ability to follow the good direction and goodness in their own nature.

Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, once said, "Being smart is a gift, and being kind is a choice. One day, you will understand that kindness is more difficult than cleverness. Gifts are easy to come by-after all, they are born with them. The choice is not easy. If you are not careful, you may be tempted by talent, which may damage your choice. "

what a sincere expression.

This reminds me of a sister in my life. She is always practicing both inside and outside, and the sun is generous. She always speaks with a decent and warm heart. She always feels the pain in the eyes of others and always gives others the best comfort with warm and powerful words.

For such a sunny person, many people think that she doesn't know how happy she is to have the ability to love like this. By chance, I learned that she actually met someone when she was young and had been alone for a long time. For many years, she raised her children alone. Her situation in life is much more difficult than that of most people. She said: "I don't want to cover up other people's light, and I don't want to show those painful feelings after falling, because I feel grateful in the face of the sun, keep smiling in the face of life, hide my sadness and pain, and feel the inner difficulties of others with my heart. It's just a kindness."

in the final analysis, kindness is a kind of ability to know and manage one's own emotions, a strong self-motivation ability when encountering setbacks, and a kind of ability to empathize with others' emotions and care about others' feelings with heart. Kindness, in the final analysis, is actually the external expression of high emotional intelligence.

Only kind people can truly understand self-love and accept their emotions; When a person really learns to love himself, the flower of kindness can bloom in his heart for a long time, and he can really live in harmony with the world and others. If you want to be a person with high emotional intelligence, you should start by learning to be a kind person.

written by Nini on November 17th, 215

The pictures in this article are selected from photographer Li Shuangxi's blog.