Can I be more confident?

How to build self-confidence ① Specific methods to build self-confidence (1) Choose the seat in front to sit. Have you noticed that no matter in teaching or in various classroom gatherings, the seats in the back row are taken first? Is it full? Most people occupying the back seats hope that they will not be "too conspicuous". And the reason they are afraid of being noticed is because they lack confidence. Sitting in the front builds confidence. Try it as a rule and sit as far forward as possible from now on. Of course, sitting in the front will be more conspicuous, but remember, everything about success is conspicuous. (2) Practice looking at others squarely. A person's eyes can reveal a lot of information about him. When someone doesn't look at you, you intuitively ask yourself: "What are you trying to hide? What is he afraid of? Will he be bad for me?" Not looking at others usually means: I feel inferior next to you. ; I feel inferior to you; I am afraid of you. Avoiding other people's eyes means: I feel guilty; I have done or thought of something that I don't want you to know; I am afraid that you will see through me as soon as I touch your eyes. This is all bad information. Looking others in the face means telling you: I am honest and aboveboard. I believe what I tell you is true and I have no guilt whatsoever. (3) Increase your walking speed by 25% When David Schwartz was a teenager, going to the center of town was great fun. After finishing all her errands and getting into the car, my mother would often say, "David, let's sit here for a while and look at the people passing by." My mother was a wonderful observer. She would say, "Look at that guy, what do you think is bothering him?" or "What do you think the lady over there is going to do?" or "Look at that guy, he seems a little confused." Observe people walking What a pleasure. It's much cheaper and more enlightening than going to the movies. Many psychologists associate slouching and slow walking with unpleasant feelings about yourself, your work, and others. But psychologists also tell us that by changing posture and speed, we can change our mental state. If you observe carefully, you will find that the movements of the body are the result of the activities of the mind. Those who have been beaten down and ostracized often drag their feet and have no self-confidence at all. Ordinary people walk like "ordinary people" and make confessions like "I'm not very proud of myself." Another type of person shows extraordinary confidence and walks faster than ordinary people, like running. Their pace tells the entire world: "I'm going somewhere important, doing something important, and more importantly, I'm going to make it in 15 minutes." Use this "walk 25% faster" technique to look up Walk faster with your chest held high and you'll feel your confidence growing. (4) Practice speaking in public Napoleon Hill pointed out that there are many people with sharp ideas and high talents, but they are unable to use their strengths to participate in discussions. It’s not that they don’t want to participate, it’s just that they lack confidence. People who are taciturn in meetings think: "My opinion may not be valuable. If I speak it out, others may feel stupid. It's better for me not to say anything. Moreover, others may know more than me. I don't want to Let you know how ignorant I am." These people often make very vague promises to themselves: "I will speak again next time," but they know very well that they cannot fulfill this promise. Every time the taciturn person does not speak, he is poisoned by a lack of confidence, and he loses it more and more. On the positive side, if you try to speak up, you will gain confidence and make it easier to speak up next time. Therefore, speak more. This is the "vitamin" of confidence. No matter what kind of meeting you are attending, you must take the initiative to speak every time, whether it is a comment, a suggestion or a question, without exception. And, don’t speak last. To be an icebreaker, be the first to break the silence. Don't worry about looking stupid, either. No. Because there will always be someone who agrees with you. So stop saying to yourself, "I doubt I'll dare speak up." Instead, focus on getting the meeting chair's attention so you have the chance to speak. (5) Grinning. Most people know that laughter can give them a very practical motivation, and it is a good medicine for low confidence. But there are still many people who don't believe this because they never try to smile when they are scared. Real laughter can not only cure one's own bad emotions, but also immediately resolve the hostility of others. If you smile sincerely at a person, he or she can no longer be angry with you. Napoleon Hill told a personal experience of his own: "One day, my car was parked in front of a red light at an intersection. Suddenly there was a 'bang' sound. It turned out that the driver of the car behind slipped his foot and opened the brake. , his car hit the rear bumper of my car. I saw him coming down from the rearview mirror, and I got out of the car, ready to give him a scolding. "But luckily, he came over to me before I could get angry. I laughed and said in the most sincere tone: 'Friend, I really didn't mean it. ’ His smile and sincere explanation melted me. I could only whisper: 'It doesn't matter, this happens all the time. ’ In the blink of an eye, my hostility turned into friendliness. "Grinning, you will feel that the good days are coming again. To smile, you must smile "bigly". Half-smiling without smiling is of no use. Only when you smile with your teeth open can it be effective. We often hear: "Yes Yes, but when I'm scared or angry, I just don't want to laugh. Of course, no one can laugh at this point. The trick is to force yourself to say, "I'm going to start laughing." "Then, laugh. Control and use the ability to laugh.

(6) When you have stage fright, you might as well tell the truth and you can calm down. Vipassana is one of the main methods of studying psychology. This is a view proposed by William Walter, the father of experimental psychology. This method is to observe your inner situation very calmly, and then reveal the observation results without any concealment. If you can imitate this method and express the psychological secrets that are always changing in words without any concealment, then there will be no room for trouble. For example, when you go to a strange place for the first time, you will inevitably feel full of doubts and fears. At this time, you might as well express your uneasy emotions clearly in words: "I was almost stunned, my heart was beating uneasily, and even My eyes are black, the tip of my tongue is frozen, and my throat is so dry that I can't speak." In this way, not only can the tension in the heart be driven away, but the mood can also be unexpectedly calm. Let me give you another very practical example. There was a salesman who ranked fifth in the United States. When he was not familiar with this line of work, he once met alone with the American car king. As a result, he was really timid. Unable to help himself, he had to say it honestly: "I'm so ashamed. When I first saw you, I was so scared that I couldn't even speak." As a result, this actually drove away the fear, thanks to the effect of confession. . (7) If you use a positive tone, you can eliminate the feeling of inferiority. Some women face the mirror and when they see their own figure or skin color, they can't help but feel some kind of happiness. On the contrary, some women are plagued by feelings of inferiority. Although each other's skin color is dark, a confident woman will think: "My skin is wheat-colored, almost comparable to black hair." And she must be secretly happy inside. However, a woman who lacked self-confidence groaned in pain: "What happened? My skin color is so dark." The moods of the two people were completely different. Some women lose confidence when they see a mirror, and even break the mirror in anger. It can be seen that the standard of value judgment is very subjective and vague. As long as you think it is beautiful, you will feel beautiful when you look at it. If you think it is disgusting, you will find it unpleasant to look at. In particular, inferiority complex is often affected by language. Therefore, negative language is harmful to a person's mental health. The author of "On the Nature of Things" is the great ancient Roman poet Lucretius. He advised people all over the world to praise dark-skinned women: "Your complexion is as charming as a walnut." As long as you continue to praise the other person in this way, then, Even if this woman repeatedly looks in the mirror to dress her makeup, or even knows that her skin is dark, she will not care. This way, she can concentrate on her makeup and always feel like an attractive woman. Next, Lucretius advises us to change the word "skinny" to "lovely antelope" and "chattering" to "eloquent talent." Different languages ??can completely change the same facts and give people different psychological feelings. In short, by using positive or negative words, the same fact can be described as having completely different results. It can be seen that in the matter of wording, he is indeed a magician unmatched by any genius. In any case, as long as valuable wording or narrative methods are often used, the same fact can be completely changed, of course, the feeling of inferiority will be eliminated, and people can enjoy a pleasant life. (8) Confidence cultivates self-confidence. If you are lacking in self-confidence and keep doing things that seem to be lacking in self-confidence, you will become less and less confident. When you lack confidence, you should act more confidently. When you lack confidence, instead of telling yourself that you have no confidence, tell yourself that you are very confident. In order to overcome a negative and negative attitude, we should try to adopt a positive and affirmative attitude. If you think you can't do it and ignore the things around you, the situation will gradually become what you think. There is a certain student group that advocates that college students select the most modern and beautiful college student every year and hold a competition. Here's what the staff there said. When they go to universities or on the streets and see beautiful people, they show them brochures and invite them to participate in this competition. From local to central level, various competitions are held again and again. However, everyone is becoming more and more beautiful, which is almost invisible. The staff there said: "Maybe I am becoming more and more confident!" This is absolutely correct. Because the positive attitude of "I want to participate in this competition" makes these people look so beautiful. This life-affirming attitude of "I'm in this game" generates confidence and makes these people appear more beautiful. There is a saying in Denmark: "Even if good luck comes, a fool knows how to invite it in." If you have a negative and negative attitude, even if good luck knocks on your door, you will not invite it in. When the opportunity comes, you should put aside your negative and negative attitude. Luck not only comes from the outside, but also from the heart. "Don't say mean words all day today." These things may seem easy, but they are not. But if you put your mind to it, you can do it. If you can express a smile in your voice, your life will become brighter day by day. Because if you have a friendly smile in your voice, people will want to talk to you and be energized by the human contact. When talking on the phone, if you speak in a smiling voice, the other party will feel comfortable listening to you, and you will also feel happy. Having a sad face or speaking coldly will not only make the other person uncomfortable, but will also make you unhappy. When you use words to conflict with the other person, you are using words to conflict with yourself. Your attitude towards the other person is also your attitude towards yourself. We should build them one by one like bricks, piling up our positive and affirmative attitude towards life.

Even if you can't like everyone, you should still try to like one more person. If you like someone, you will also like yourself, and then you will overcome unnecessary fear of others. Because, self-confidence breeds self-confidence. A small achievement will bring us confidence. If you immediately want to do great and extraordinary things, you will become less and less confident. (9) Do what you can do. When you do what you can do, your personality will emerge. The important thing is that instead of trying to fix your image, find what you can do now. By knowing what you should do and then doing it, you can be liberated from your own image. In short, try to write down what you can do immediately, and then practice it. It does not have to be a great or extraordinary action, as long as it is something within your ability. Because we just want to reach the sky in one step, we can’t find anything to do. "Today's work is done today". The work that can be done easily today will become very heavy if left until the next day. If you think "How annoying!" and leave it until the next day, the work will become relatively heavier. If you put off what you can do today until the next day, those delayed tasks will increase your burden. I have never met anyone who said: "I will quit smoking from tomorrow!" and quit smoking. I have never met anyone who quit drinking by saying, “That’s it for tonight’s drinking!” The following is a short story from a photographer. Once, the photographer attended a party. On the way to the reception, the photographer said: "I quit drinking" and asked him: "When did you start?" He replied: "I just decided to quit." He quit smoking and drinking. Most people will answer: "After this cocktail party" or "This cocktail party will be the last one." "Forever" is also accumulated hour by hour, because if you take away one hour, there will be no forever. Try making two cards, one that says "Go ahead!" and the other that says "Do it later." Keep these two cards with you and when you feel less confident, pull out one of them. At this time, the one that says "Go ahead!" should be drawn. We can first write "Be confident" on the back. Always pull out this card when you don't know whether to do something. Because today is related to the next day, if you don’t do what you can do today, it will become more difficult to do it tomorrow. When running a marathon, because the body will tire, we cannot be more motivated every time we pass a telephone pole. However, as long as it is not entirely physical exertion, achieving goals one after another will give people more motivation. Therefore, the big goal should be divided into several small stages to achieve it. Every time a stage is reached, new motivation will be generated. This will then create the motivation needed to reach your ultimate goal. Thinking to myself: "It must be difficult!" People who then fall into depression are succumbed to their goals from the beginning. Moreover, these people will set a goal that they cannot achieve, which shows that their hearts have been twisted. A healthy soul will yearn for what it can do. A person who is mentally immature will constantly adopt a very self-centered attitude. With this type of expression, once a self-centered person sets a goal, it must be the goal that immediately attracts everyone's attention. Then, because he is obsessed with that goal, he loses sight of what he should be doing here and now, and ends up going alone. , unconventional. People who like to be unconventional when they are young tend to live in depression when they get older. This is why. When you are young, you are unable to overcome your self-expression and self-centered personality. When you get older, you become depressed. There is a saying: "As the wild geese fly, the turtle also stomps its feet." That is to say, people who "can't find what they want to do" don't do things like the turtle in this sentence? Suppose the turtle sees the wild geese flying across the sky and he Isn’t it strange that the turtle also wants to fly? There should be things that turtles can do but geese cannot.