I need a sketch starring about three girls and two boys. I hope it is 100% funny.

(A company is looking for a sales supervisor)

Applicant: Long Min: an agricultural farmer, too talented; a gifted student with no social background; Zhen Youquan: the son of a government official.

Too talented (holding this hand, stepping, thinking with head held high): Time flies, and I will compete in today's market.

Zhen Youquan (suit and tie, striding forward): According to my investigation, it is really difficult to find a good job in this increasingly competitive market. Comrades, I also applied to live here.

The first examiner said: You are all here to apply. What our company wants is talents in sales promotion, either with education or experience. You are all educated people. .

Suddenly, a tattered man came in from the outside recently. He ran too fast and almost fell down. )

The farmer who broke in recently scratched his head and simply said, big sister, I'm sorry I'm late.

(The assistant examiner is furious): Who is your sister? This girl is only the age of flower season! Huh? How can such a person suddenly appear!

(Long Min looks at the examiner in surprise and says): Elder sister? There are no flowers in my village, only a handful! (exaggerated, use the posture of holding to describe flowers)

(The assistant examiner clenched his fist to suppress his anger): All right. Now let's introduce ourselves, including your name, address, age, nationality, birthday, gender, marital status and education. . . . Report it.

(All three applicants were surprised) (The examiner said with a smile): Don't bother, just give your name and academic experience.

Zhen Youquan: That's more like it, otherwise I thought I was at the police station!

Thai Youcai: My name is Thai Youcai, and I graduated from Thai with a master's degree. After the edification of school culture, the tempering of society and the test of life, I came to your company to apply. I will sell my knowledge to the company, use my culture to sell it, and bring the world outlook, values and outlook on honor and disgrace to the overall interests of the company. . . .

Assistant Examiner: Stop, Vilti, next! (Too talented to hold your glasses and tilt your head back. )

Zhen Youquan: My name is Zhen Youquan, Zhen Dezhi Zhen. I graduated from that H university, because of social competition, well, yes, I came to this company, and then I unexpectedly wanted to hire this position. That's all, thank you.

(Intermediate examiners will add their own actions)

Long Min: My name is Long Min, and I am the dragon of dragons (laughter). I only have rich experience. Please listen to the next chapter for details.

Zhen Youquan: After all, Long Min has such a farmer's name.

Examiner: OK, OK, let's start asking questions.

Assistant examiner: If a beautiful girl appears in front of you, how can you sell yourself and make her accept you?

Long Min: Examiner, can you not? I already have a wife. I'm afraid my wife won't let me sleep in the bed.

(Angry) Associate Examiner: Hypothesis, do you understand the hypothesis? ! !

Long Min: Suppose, oh.

Too talented: hey, I feel sorry for those who have no knowledge.

Too talented: I will recite a very emotional sentence and make her submit to my literary talent.

Zhen Youquan: I called all the traffic policemen back and shouted at the place where the girl appeared: beautiful girl: Zhen Youquan, I really love you.

Long Min: Although I am still afraid, I must seize the opportunity. I will say: elder sister, I can cook, I can wash clothes, I can farm, I can take care of children, but I can't have children. Can you give birth to a fat baby for me?

Assistant examiner: That's brilliant. Do you think a poem can impress that girl? If so, many old ladies will fall in love with you every day, because you talk a lot every day. You can recite a poem now and see if you can make your aunt across the street accept you.

Assistant examiner: Zhen Youquan. You said you could ask all the traffic police to help you. Well, a person goes to the street to find a girl and says loudly that you love her, to see if she will call you crazy!

Deputy examiner: Long Min, hey, do you want other girls to give you a baby just because you look like a bear? Do you think others are your domestic pigs? You can have them if you want.

Deputy examiner: Since you are selling yourself, you should regard the other party as a fortress.

Long Min: Examiner, it is peacetime, so there is no fortress. If we want to fight the Japanese fortress now, all the able-bodied men in our village have already picked up hoes. Is it my turn?

Assistant examiner: Hey, you, this is still a hypothesis, a hypothesis! ! Hey, I want to know, Long Min, why did you join our work?

Long Min: I have experience (patting my chest, holding my head high and making proud gestures).

Associate examiner: Do you have any experience? Then why do you say that donkey's lips are not right for horse's mouth?

Long Min (indignant): No, I really have experience. You see, I have sold chickens at home, pigs in the village, cows in the village and blood in the city. Isn't this all experience? Oh, by the way, when I was selling cattle, a young man in his early 20 s told me, Uncle, how dare you sell cattle on the road? You are really the one between A Niu and Niu C, that's why I am. I'm still thinking, how can I buy a cow and become a cow ABC?

(The assistant examiner bows his head and is silent for a moment) Then he looks up and says, I think you can go home and sell blood.

Long Min: Examiner, what you said is wrong. I sold blood in the city, not at home. I don't have that kind of equipment at home.

Assistant examiner: Hey! (shaking his head)

Examiner: Now, how do you think this girl can accept you?

Long Min: I think so. . .

Assistant examiner: Stop and don't talk. Squat aside with me (Long Min pathetically walks to the podium).

Zhen Youquan: I think there is something wrong with this question.

Assistant examiner: Nonsense, no problem. Can you call me a question?

Brilliant: I think this question is worth discussing. If you allow me, I'll call my tutor to ask.

Examiner: You. . . .

Examiner: Why do you think this question is so difficult?

Long Min, Tai Youcai, Zhen Youquan,: This is not a good question {Long Min stands up from the table}

The assistant examiner said savagely, Long Min, who told you to stand up and go back to squat?

Long Min despondently squatted down and put his hands on his head.

Associate examiner: Why is this a bad question?

(Long Min stands up to the stage again) Long Min says, are you willing to betray yourself?

Assistant examiner: Who told you to sell yourself?

Long Min said: Isn't betraying yourself equal to betraying yourself? Examiner: Are you willing to betray yourself?

(The examiner is angry and the other two candidates laugh. )

Examiner: Don't you think you look like a commodity now? Living in this highly competitive environment, there are too many people with educational background. More experienced, if you can't sell well yourself, do you think any company will accept you? The examiner just made an analogy. Actually, that girl is the job you are looking for. If you can't get that girl to accept you, it means you can't get the company you are looking for to accept you. In the end, you still have nothing. I hope you can understand. In fact, before you came to our company to apply, we had made a detailed investigation on you. We already know about you, and our company just needs talents like you. You are very talented and have a profound academic background, and you can make great contributions to the company in persuading customers. Zhen has the right, is calm when things go wrong, and is good at using personal relationships to achieve sales goals. Long Min, although you have a little knowledge, I believe most bosses still like to do business with honest people, at least they will be honest. So you three are hired temporarily, with a probation period of 2 months.

(Long Min, too talented, Zhen has the right to be surprised)

Brilliant: Sorry, examiner. I feel unfair and believe in my knowledge, so I hope the four examiners can give us another chance. We should persuade four examiners to hire us.

Examiner: Very good. What about Zhen's rights?

Zhen Youquan: I never know how to write "admit defeat". I agree. That's brilliant.

(Examiner smiles): Hmm (Four examiners and the first two candidates look at Long Min with suspicion).

(Long Min bows his hand in fear): When I went out, my daughter-in-law told me that I should learn more from the city after I came out. I'm telling you, I listened to my daughter-in-law and followed in the footsteps of the first two college students in the city.

(Laughter).

Examiner: Then we will visit three more people at the same time tomorrow. (Applause)

Venue: A university activity: Choir recruitment.

Characters: Judge A, Judge B, classmate ABCDE.

A: The lighting engineer, sound engineer and photographer are all ready ~ ~

B: Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female, Gnome male-female.

Well, today is a big day for our glee club to recruit new members. This is my first time as a judge. I want to be a professional.

B: Oh, I don't know why the teacher made you a judge. You are so stupid that you came out of nowhere. Okay, okay, cut the crap and get ready. Be eye-catching when you come to the interview next time. Be brothers.

A: All right, all right. (walks to the door and looks) God, why are there so many people? How can I be more nervous than them?

B: Look at your little promise. I'll teach you. If you want to be nervous, that's three words. "Grow up" and "Grow up", will you?

Hey, I'll take this calmly. (pretend to be handsome and stupid)

Oh, almost. That's what it looks like The interview is about to begin, so listen carefully. Remember, our glee club wants to recruit elites.

Ha, you mean me?

Well, except for you. (The two return to their seats to prepare for the interview)

A classmate: Hello, two judges.

Hey, how are you?

Ahem ... mature.

A: (Seriously) Well, the image is good. Let's introduce ourselves.

A: Oh, my name is Jiang Xueyou, and I'm Guomao 07 1 of the Department of Finance and Economics. Today I bring you a song ~ ~ ~

Wait, what did you say your name was?

A: Jiang Xueyou, brother.

I am a natural person. Why are you in such a hurry? Brother, go on.

Oh, I brought a Andy Lau song today. I hope you will like it. Thank you.

A: Wait, why not sing Jacky Cheung's songs?

B: (looking at A impatiently)

A: Excuse me, brother, who is Jacky Cheung?

(Party A and Party B look at each other, depressed)

A: You don't even know Jacky Cheung?

A: I have listened to Andy Lau's songs since I was a child. I grew up listening to his songs.

A: Oh ~ ~ ~

A: Hmm ~ Is it true that you can't get into the exam without listening to Jacky Cheung's songs?

B: I said, do you want people to sing, brother? Ignore him and keep walking.

Yes, sister. (singing)

B: (Ding Ding Ding ~ ~) Well, the tone is good, but you should sing this song with your heart.

A: Yes, the elder sister is right. You should be emotionally involved. Come on, I'll show you. I got up and sang and danced there, and my brother applauded. )

B: (walks over) Hey, hey, hey, is this your interview or someone else's interview? Dude, you can go out and call the next one.

Sorry, it was a whim. I'll control it next time.

B: Hello, senior and senior. I'm in the art department. My name is Sun Lan.

Party A and Party B said in unison: Sun Nan! ! !

Not Sun Nan, but Sun Lan.

A: Oh.

B: Well, why don't I have an imitation show?

A: It can be imitated. Yes, yes, I like to watch imitation best.

B: Cough.

Ok, let's get started! Who will you imitate?

I imitated Jay Chou and Yu-Ching Fei thousands of miles away.

Ok, let's get started.

B: (imitation)

B: Ding-ding-ding ~ ~ That's enough. Nice imitation.

A: Hey, little brother, to imitate this kind of thing (stand up and walk over to explain, B depressed), we must grasp the voice characteristics of Mingxing. Take Jay Chou for example. Jay Chou's voice is Kuqiang, and she sings like crying. I'll walk you away. What about Yu Qingfei and Yu Qingfei? Do you know what he sings?

B: What?

A: By his hips. Your hips are not round enough for him (he said, hitting B's hips). Didn't you see his hips swaying when he sang? Make a noise against your hips and I'll send you away ~ ~

B: Hey, brother, why don't you perform?

B: Huh? I ah!

B: Audience friends say yes! ! !

Okay, I'll make a fool of myself. (Singing all the time, in the back) I'll send you away. ...........................................................................................................................................................

B: Brother, why is there no sound?

A: Huh? Well, no sound is right. Another feature of Yu-Ching Fei's voice is illusion.

B: Illusion?

A: Yes, illusory, hypocritical, ethereal to a silent state, like blooming fireworks slowly disappearing into the quiet night sky (intoxicated). Go back and practice. I like you. (Brother leaves)

I said, what are you doing here? You're here to perform.

A: Sorry. I am also teaching the next generation. I promise I won't come again.

Fantastic. Next,

Classmate C: Hello, brothers and sisters. I'm from the management department. My name is Jolin Tsai.

A: (drinking water, spraying it out) Yo, today our choir is full of big names.

Captain: I'm sorry, brother. I think you misunderstood. This is one of 1234, the forest of Kirin. Because on the day I was born, my father dreamed that a unicorn was bared its teeth, so he named it Yilin.

Oh, I see. Then you can start singing.

C: OK, I'll get you a Chinese cabbage.

Ha, Jolin Tsai can also sing Chinese Cabbage.

B: shh ~ ~ ~

A: (I almost cried, wiping my tears with a paper towel)

God, I made my brother cry. Sorry, brother.

B: Sister, it's none of your business. He is a loser. You sang well and made him cry. Very good, very infectious.

C: I'm leaving, brother. Take care.

A: (waving to C and saying 88, keep crying) Let's go.

B: Look at your little success. You are still a man.

A: They are pure men.

Yo, you are a pure man, just like you! Next ~ ~

D: Hello, judges. My name is ~ ~ ~

A: Wait, I'll finish the water first.

D: My name is Linxi, and I'm from the computer department.

Lin? This name is familiar.

B: There is a famous ci writers, Lin (in vernacular Chinese).

A: Oh, I said, it looks so familiar. Nice to meet you.

What looks familiar? Have you met anyone?

A: No.

B: (glancing) Brother, you can start.

I brought a song for my brothers and sisters. The moon represents my heart. Thank you (singing).

A: The more I listen to it, the colder it gets. I found a piece of cloth to wrap myself up and walked to D.) Are you here to freeze me to death?

D: (singing intoxicated and startled) Oh, my God, ghosts. (See clearly) It's you, brother.

You sing really well. Look at my glass of water. Oh, my God, it's freezing. This kind of singing is unprecedented!

D: Really, thank you for your compliment.

B: Next, I warn you that if you make a fool of yourself again, I will kick you out.

Oh, I tried to control myself.

E: Hello, judges. My name is Brother Jane Zhang (A is going to spray water). Do not spray water. I am a bright and bright shadow.

How do you know the term water spray?

E: I listened to my brother outside.

B: Well, you are disgraced in the glee club.

A: Since your name is Jane Zhang, of course you can't apologize for it. Let's play a famous song "Love You" sung by Zhang. Will it?

E: Yes, but I can't sing the dolphin sound in the back.

B: Don't be hard on others, sister. Ignore her. You sing yours.

E: That's all right, then I'll try.

E: (singing high notes, breaking)

A: Haha, come on, let me show you, music! ! (Singing to a high note, like a ghost) I'll do it again. Believe me, I can definitely compete this time, music. (Sing to a high note, drop by eight degrees, and B will come and head-on. )

B: You can go out.

Einstein: Oh.

Answer: Sister, go back and practice dolphin sound.

B: You go out too. I'll interview alone.

A: Huh? Yes, I can. Trust me, sister.

Get out (push him out of the door)

end