Um, I want N more jokes

Late at night, a bus was ready to hand over after its last flight. The driver looked back and saw a lady in white sitting in the last row.

The driver continued to drive and looked at the rearview mirror. He was shocked and saw that the woman was gone. He quickly braked and looked back. He was sitting there again. The driver felt guilty and turned his head to continue driving. He was careful. Looking at the rearview mirror, the woman was gone again. Shocked, he quickly braked again. When he looked back, the woman appeared again.

Faced with collapse, the driver turned around in a cold sweat and continued driving. 1. The third time the driver looked at the rearview mirror, the woman was gone again. The driver had collapsed. He braked hard again, but did not turn around. At this time, the woman walked slowly in front of him, her hair messy. , his face was covered with blood, dripping on his feet. The driver's body was already stiff and he didn't dare to turn his head to look at her. The woman said in a very deep voice: "I have a grudge against you. I squatted down and tied my shoelaces." , you brake suddenly, and as soon as you squat down to tie your shoelaces, you brake suddenly.

2. The door to heaven is broken and is ready to be repaired, so the Indians say it will be repaired for only 3,000 yuan. The material cost is 1,000, the labor cost is 1,000, and I earn 1,000! Another German came, and the German guy said to the person in charge, why does it cost 6,000 yuan? The material cost is 2,000, the labor cost is 2,000, and I earn 2,000! , the Chinese said, this costs 9,000 yuan! The gate of heaven was stunned, why are there so many? This person said, 3,000 yuan for you, 3,000 yuan for me, and the remaining 3,000 yuan for the Indian! p>

3. The eldest son and the second eldest son were on a plane. The second eldest son was sick and kept vomiting. The bag was full, so the eldest son had to go get the bag. When he came back, he found that everyone on the plane was vomiting. The reason was: "I saw that this bag was also full of vomiting, so I had to drink half of the bag, but they all vomited." "

4. One day, the eldest brother and the second child went to the theater to watch a play again. They saw the two of them arguing about the development of the plot and made a bet about it. The eldest brother pointed to the row of spittoons in front and said, " The loser has to take a sip of the stuff there. "Unfortunately, the eldest brother lost, so he frowned and took a sip. The two then bet on the following plot. This time, the second eldest son lost and saw the second eldest son picked up a spittoon and drank fifteen big gulps in a row. The eldest brother He was so shocked that he fell to the ground in admiration and said to the second child, "You are so amazing, you can actually drink fifteen gulps in a row!" The second child shook his head, "It's not that I want to drink it. The phlegm in that spittoon is too thick and I can't stop biting it!" ”

5. I went to the ATM to deposit money at noon. When I was queuing, the beautiful woman behind me asked me: “Is this a deposit?” ”

“Yeah”

“I just want to withdraw money. You want to save anyway, so why not give me the money, so we don’t have to queue up”

I thought it made sense, so I gave her the money.

6. During the military training for high school freshmen, the teacher was not very familiar with the new classmates. < /p>

Once, after walking for a long time, the boy lost his balance when the queue reached the corner, and hit his head against the wall with a loud noise. The teacher rushed over from afar and pulled him up. Shout out: Why did it end up like this?

7. A woman went to buy breakfast with counterfeit money, and the vendor was annoyed: "Sister, it's okay if you give counterfeit money, at least it's a stamp. Yes, this is actually a painting of yours! To take a step back, let’s forget about painting. It doesn’t matter if I give you a painting worth ten yuan or five yuan, but you can also give me a painting worth seven yuan! Seven yuan, just seven yuan. At least it has to be drawn in color. You actually use a pencil. Forget it, it’s just black and white, but you can’t draw with paper! The hand feeling is too bad. Even if it is toilet paper, you have to use scissors to cut all the edges. This one is torn by hand. The raw edges are too exaggerated. OK, I can tolerate the raw edges, but you also need to tear it into a rectangle. This triangle is It’s too unreasonable...

8. This is a Chinese language test question for primary school students

Requirements: Connect the following four sentences with related words:

1. Sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed;

2. Sister Zhang Haidi studies tenaciously;

3. Sister Zhang Haidi has learned many foreign languages;

4. Sister Zhang Haidi learned acupuncture.

(Note: The correct answer should be: Although sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed, she studied tenaciously and not only learned many foreign languages, but also learned acupuncture.)

There is one result The child wrote:

Although sister Zhang Haidi tenaciously learned acupuncture and many foreign languages, she is still paralyzed.

Later, I discovered that the more powerful child wrote:

Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned foreign languages, but also acupuncture. She studied so tenaciously that she finally became paralyzed.

The reason why sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed was because she studied tenaciously. Not only did she learn many foreign languages, she even learned acupuncture.

Sister Zhang Haidi studied so tenaciously. Not only did she learn many foreign languages ??and acupuncture, but she also learned to become paralyzed.

Sister Zhang Haidi has learned many foreign languages, learned acupuncture, and is still studying hard to become paralyzed.

Sister Zhang Haidi learned many foreign languages ????and acupuncture through tenacious study, but ended up paralyzing herself by reading a foreign language version of an acupuncture book.

9. During a military drill, a cannonball strayed far away.

The soldiers sent to investigate found that the shells had fallen in the farmland. There was a farmer standing in the field. His clothes were torn and his face was dark. He said with tears in his eyes: Is it worth using shelling to steal a cabbage?

10. During class,

A teacher asked: Which way does the river flow?

The students stood up suddenly and sang loudly: The river flows eastward! The teacher ignored him and asked: How many stars are there in the sky? Student: The stars in the sky join the Big Dipper! The teacher was furious: Get out of here! Student: Let’s go if we say so! The teacher was helpless: Are you sick? Student: You have it, I have it all! Teacher: Please say one more thing... Student: When you see injustice on the road, roar! Teacher: Believe it or not, I will beat you up... Student: Just take action when it’s time to take action! Teacher: I'm going to expel you. Let's see what you do... Student: It's such a storm! The teacher fainted on the spot after hearing this! !

11. Someone who studies English hard will eventually achieve success. One day I accidentally bumped into a foreigner on the street, and he quickly said: I am sorry.

The foreigner responded: I am sorry too.

After hearing this, someone said: I am sorry three.

The foreigner was puzzled and asked: What are you sorry for?

12. There were three women... who stayed in the east and west houses for a short time. Exaggerating to say, my husband can ejaculate...50 centimeters~~

Another person said... So what...my husband can ejaculate 2 meters...

Another woman sighed... and said: My husband is relatively useless... He only ejaculated five...

Five, what, five centimeters?< /p>

No...five minutes...!!!

13. Mingming's mother likes swimming very much. One day, Mingming said to her: "Mom, you are getting better and better." It looks more like a fish!" Mom asked, "Is it a mermaid?" Mingming said, "No, you have more and more crow's feet." 14. Mingming came to a salmon shop. Asked the shop owner: "Do you have mustard greens here?" The boss replied: "No." "Is there soy sauce?" "No." "Is there sushi?" "No!!!" "How dare you open a shop when you don't have anything! ! ~~" Mom asked Mingming to buy soy sauce and gave her three yuan. In order to remember, Mingming kept chanting: "Soy sauce, soy sauce..." When they were about to arrive at the store, Mingming almost fell into a well. , so he said: "Hmph." As a result, when he arrived at the store, he couldn't remember what he wanted to buy. He thought, oh, by the way, it seems to be buying Heng Heng. He asked the boss: "Do you want to buy Heng Heng?" The boss thought he was crazy and kicked him out.

15. Instructor: Why do you skip classes quickly and frequently?

Dumb: There is no way, he is gifted.

Instructor: But you don’t have to climb the wall anymore.

Dumb: Really? Has the fence been taken down?

Instructor: No, you have been expelled, you can go through the gate!

16. On campus, the honesty movement is greatly promoted.

Jia Sheng: How to reward you if you pick up money?

Yisheng: If you pick up gold, you will be rewarded once.

Jia Sheng: What about pornographic films and comics?

Yisheng: Will the instructor believe that you picked it? Just leave it to me

17. The teacher said: The weather is very good today, we should go for an outing.

The student said: Teacher, do you mean to trample on the girl wearing blue clothes?

18. During class, a certain classmate was reading comics.

The teacher found out and asked: What are you doing?

"I'm looking for something."

"Looking for what?"

"Looking for, looking for..."

The neighbor The classmate replied: Make excuses.

19. Xiaoxian: I bathed the dog at home yesterday, and it... died.

Bali: Take a bath? Impossible?

Xiao Xian: Well, if it wasn’t the washing machine that killed her, then it was the dryer...

Bali: #＊＠! ￥

20. Get information from nearby

A woman went to court to ask for a divorce. The judge asked her to apply for a reason. She said, "My husband always lies in bed and smokes." The judge said, "This does not count." What's the big problem? You should learn to be patient. Which woman screamed: "I can't bear it?" He used my ear as an ashtray every time he smoked. Go try it with your wife, can she bear it? Answered : Miffy Bear 1998 | Level 2 | 2010-4-12 19:35

What the hell is not funny at all

Besides, it’s not suitable to be taught in class

Look at me. . . . . . . . .

, Thinking of Guan Yu

Cao Cao fought against Ma Chao at Tongguan, cut off his beard and abandoned his robe and returned in defeat, so he kept sighing in the big tent.

Zhang Liao: "Prime Minister, why are you sighing?"

"Hey!" Cao Cao: "I was thinking, it would be great if Guan Yu was still under my command."

p>

"Yes!" Zhang Liao nodded and said: "If there is a cloud here, I will definitely be able to kill the horse and surpass the horse."

"That's not what I meant.

"Cao Cao stroked the half of his beard and said, "Today Ma Chao shouted, 'Cao Cao is the one with the beard, catch the Cao Cao with the beard.' If Guan Yu were here...his beard would be much longer than mine. , do I still need to be so miserable? "

10. Kill Yan Liang and Zhu Wen Chou

Yan Liang: "The general will be named! "

Guan Yu: "..."

"What? Louder! Can't hear it! Yan Liang said and took a few steps forward.

Guan Yu: "..."

"Louder!" Still can't hear clearly! Yan Liang said and moved forward again.

Guan Yu: "Yeah!" It's just enough for now. "As he said this, he raised his sword and killed Yan Liang and his horse.

A month later, Wen Chou asked: "Who is coming? "

Guan Yu pretended to be mysterious and said: "Do you know how Yan Liang died? "

Wen Chou: "Oh? have no idea. "

Guan Yu: "Come closer and I will tell you. "

Wen Chou obediently leaned forward, stretched his neck and asked, "How did he die?" ”

“That’s how he died! "Guan Yu said and waved the Qinglong sword, and there was a "click" sound, and the world became quiet!

The Chinese army's tent——

Zhuge Liang (put on your glasses, open it) List): "Zhang Yimou! "

General: "……………………"

Zhuge Liang (adjusted his glasses and looked at the roll call carefully): "Where is Zhang Yimou! "

Generals: "……………………"

Wei Yan: "The military advisor...should be Zhang Yide, right? It's Zhang Yide..."

Zhuge Liang: "..."

Zhuge Liang hated Wei Yan all his life, and before his death, he secretly ordered Ma Dai to assassinate him. Answered by: Nuonuo Luoya Sauron | Level 3 | 2010-4-12 19:54

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during combat? The company commander was very angry: *, what can I do?

2. I feel sorry for not receiving your message for a long time. I thought about death. I cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped over a building with a parachute, and hung myself with noodles. It’s not dead yet. Just treat me to a meal to keep me going

3. If you feel heartbroken, please call me! If you want to talk about love, please press 1. If you want to talk about work, please press 2. , please press 3 to talk about life, press 5 to introduce someone to me, ask me for a meal, please hang up if you want to borrow money from me.

4. The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later the giraffe filed for divorce. : I don’t want to live this kind of life anymore! The monkey was furious: Just leave! Who has ever seen someone climb a tree for a kiss?

5. The fish said: “I’ll leave all the time! I open my eyes so that I can't bear to leave you. "Water said: "I flow tirelessly all day long just to surround you and hold you tightly. "Guo said: "It's almost fucking ripe yet there's so much nonsense. "

6. Have you eaten? Please receive a text message. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help singing: Ya la Suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!

7. Now that you have grown up, you should know some things: the sky is for wind and rain; the earth is for growing flowers and grass. ; I am there to prove how great human beings are; you are there to stew vermicelli

8. When you are picking up a ticket by the railway but don’t have any paper, don’t worry, the train will remind you: Pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! When you go to the river without any paper, don't worry, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick stick scrape!

9. Money! You can buy a house but not a home, you can buy marriage but not love, you can buy a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but the source of pain. Give me your money and let me bear it alone. It’s painful!

My God, the sea is too salty! Life is so boring! I miss you so much! , what should I do? I miss you so much that I can’t eat with my chopsticks or swallow my bowl!

11. I give you 12 zodiac signs. I wish you are as smart as a mouse, as strong as an ox, as bold as a tiger, and as cute as a tiger. Like a rabbit, confident like a dragon, charming like a snake, romantic like a horse, docile like a sheep, naughty like a monkey, beautiful like a chicken, loyal like a dog, and looks like a pig

12. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on it! The gibbon pooped, and after the gibbon cleaned it up gently and carefully, they fell in love. When someone asked how they got together, the chimpanzee said with emotion: It's all ape dung!

13. The lion and the bear defecated next to a tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his defecation was stronger than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes of life - lion poop is better than bear poop!

14. Think of a number in your mind, add 52.8 to it, multiply it by 5, then subtract 3.9343, divide it by 0.5, and finally subtract ten times the number in your mind. The answer is very romantic. !

15. You keep farting loudly in the office, and your colleagues can’t help but ask you if you can keep quiet.

Then I saw you sitting there shaking and shaking, and asked you what you were doing. You replied that I had set it to vibrate!

16. Dear God, please bless those friends who do not call me, do not send me text messages, and do not miss me: May the Lord drop their mobile phones in the toilet. Amen!

17. Legend has it that you were so ruthless that you lay down across four seats in the theater. When someone asked you to get up, you just grunted and stayed still. The security guard came and said: My friend is ruthless enough. , which road? You gritted your teeth and said, "I fell down from the aisle upstairs!"

18. I miss you, think of you, find a painter to draw you, stick you in a cup, drink water and look at you all day long - are you happy? Pour a cup of boiling water and burn you to death!

19. Dear user, at this time we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the cause of Palestinian national liberation. For this reason, the Palestinian Autonomous Government has decided to award you a lofty title in the name of the entire Arab world: Ben Shalebacki!

20. The beauty of knowledge lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; the beauty of women lies in being so stupid that they have no regrets; the beauty of men lies in lying so that they can see ghosts in daylight.

21. I only care about you. What I care about is whether I care about you. Do I care about you as much as I care about you? I care about you, little boy. , I’ll make you dizzy!

22. Have you heard of it? Five hundred times of looking back in the past life are only exchanged for one brush with each other in this life. For close friends like you and me, it seems that we didn’t do anything in the previous life except to look back!

23. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit bills with a face value of 15 yuan. They decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they took a 15 yuan bill, they bought 1 yuan candied haws. , they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7-yuan photos.

The 24-year-old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked: "Uncle, do you want side light, backlight, or full light?" The uncle was shy. He said shyly: "I don't care, can I leave some underwear for your aunt?"

25 Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I don't step on it for a day. The mouse pinches its feet and itches; C: I feel uncomfortable on the street only a few times a day; D: It's getting late, let's go home and pick up the cat.

26 A group of ants climbed onto the elephant's back, but were shaken off. Only one ant held on to the elephant's neck tightly. The ants below shouted: strangle him to death, strangle him. Damn him, little guy, for fucking rebelling against me!

27 A puppy climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roasted chicken. You said angrily: I will do whatever you dare to do to that roasted chicken, but the result is that the puppy After licking the chicken's butt, you fainted, and the puppy said happily: Let's see who is cruel.

28 I spent a dime to send you this text message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime text message is my birthday gift to you.

29 The ant is lying lazily in the soil with one leg stretched out. Your friend asks you what you are doing? Ant: The elephant will come later, trip him up.

30 Yesterday I dreamed that God said he could grant me a wish. I took out the globe and said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult to change to another one. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to become beautiful, he thought deeply. After a while, I said take the globe and let me look at the answerer: 757038046 | Level 2 | 2010-4-12 20:03

What kind of battle is it to kill one enemy and lose three thousand to yourself?

It’s a battle between bananas and elephants. The elephants were strangled to death - -

The students went to the toilet during class and found out that they didn’t bring any paper after defecation. They couldn’t wait for anyone, and their mobile phones were Arrears. In desperation, he called 10086 and asked for help. . . It is said that there was silence for a long time, and then... his classmate received this text message during class: Hello, respected China Mobile users, your classmate so and so is in the toilet and asks you to give him toilet paper. For details, please contact 10086

. A buddy mustered up the courage to confess his affection to MM on QQ. After a while, MM replied: I am her mother, and I am here to steal food

Two shits The shell beetles discussed the welfare lottery. A said: If I win the big prize, I will buy all the toilets within a radius of 50 miles and eat enough every day! B said: You are too vulgar! If I win the jackpot, I will take care of a living person and eat fresh food every day!

The ant and the elephant got married, but the elephant died within a few days. The ant was very sad and cried while scolding: My dear, why are you walking ahead of me? Mom doesn't have to do anything else, just bury you

Cat was forced by life to sit in the tuberose hair salon owned by the fox. One day, the mouse came to the hair salon and asked for a night stay, but the cat refused to comply. The mouse said angrily: "I was chased to death at first, but now I'm being sent to my door, and I'm still being serious!"

A farmer will kill chickens tomorrow. When feeding the chickens in the evening, they say: Eat quickly, this is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down and left a suicide note: I have eaten rat poison, so don’t even think about eating it. I am not someone to be trifled with!

A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl. The girl said to the boy: You must be responsible for me if you kiss me.

The boy patted the girl's shoulder maturely and said with a smile: Don't worry, we are not just one or two years old.

There is a girl in the class who is a pervert and her QQ nickname is "Reject". So I asked curiously: "Why do you have this name?" She turned back with a shy expression and said: "Don't you think it would be more subtle to add a radical? *^_^*"

I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: "How can this be from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!

Me: Do you think this Shanghai girl and I can make it work?

Bedroom brother: No way!

Me: Why?

Bedroom brother: Do you know Shanghai women? What do you have in common with Taliban men?

Me:

Bedroom brothers: That means they don’t let American men go!

Read the newspaper in school! A piece of news was posted in the column, saying that two girls from a university in Harbin were raped when they returned to their dormitory at night. The girls in our school were warned not to go back too late. The follow-up report was that the school wanted to calm down the incident and sent the two to Peking University. Thinking of the patrol car that night, he saw N girls wearing scantily attire and wandering in the dark areas of the campus late at night. Uncle Pol.ice asked incomprehensibly why one of them didn't go back so late. The girl's eyes widened and she said angrily. Said: "Can you take care of it? You are not allowed to be expelled if you fail the exam! ”

I was just playing with a girl’s cell phone in my girlfriend’s dormitory (actually I was peeking at her hot selfies*^_^*).

Looking at it, suddenly I found a person named "Yunmo" in her address book, so I asked mm.

Me: Hey, who is "Yunmo"?

MM (very nervous). : No, please give me back your phone!

Me: You won’t tell me? Then I’ll call him. Give it back!

Then my phone rang...

A female classmate had a sprained shoulder, so she took her two roommates to find a professional massage place. Next. Since they had never been to a place like this, the three sisters ran into a massage parlor with a red light on the street. Unexpectedly, another girl in sexy clothes was sitting on the sofa in the room. While watching TV, she was so surprised that she looked at the three sisters for a long time and asked awkwardly: "Are you...are you here to apply for a job? ”

Today, when I was driving, the electronic speedometer flashed on me. I was definitely not speeding, so I went back and passed the electronic eye at a slower speed, and it flashed again. I was confused, so I tried it again, and it flashed again. I thought it was funny, so I passed it again at a slow speed... Later, I received 4 tickets for not wearing a seat belt.

After class at noon, I followed the class. The girl went to the cafeteria with a flower umbrella.

Perhaps Xiaoyu was in love, she suddenly stopped and looked at me affectionately, "Will you... be my prince?" ”

Looking at her miserable face, I really couldn’t bear to break her heart, but for the sake of future happiness, I had to refuse.

So, I pretended He asked her with a very silly and innocent expression: "Then - I have to call you your mother-in-law from now on? ”

The man was on a business trip and suddenly came home. He heard the sound of a man snoring at the door. The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: Get a divorce

Three years later, his wife told him that she was Rising’s little lion back then!

. A buddy mustered up the courage to confess his love to MM on QQ. After a while, MM replied: I am her mother, and I am here. The respondent who stole food: ukulele126 | Level 7 | 2010-4-13 18:29

One day, the teacher walked into the classroom, and the students stood up and shouted: "Good morning, teacher!" "

The teacher said angrily: "Just say good morning? What about my afternoon? Isn't it bad? ”

So the students shouted again: “Good afternoon, teacher!” "

The teacher said angrily: "What about me at night? ”

The students shouted again: “Have a good evening, teacher!” "

The teacher nodded and said: "That's enough, now shout it again! ”

The students shouted in unison: “Good morning, teacher, good afternoon, and good evening!” "

The teacher said: "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. We practice like this. I say one thing and you say the antonyms out loud. Start now. "

Teacher: "The weather is very good today. "

Student: "The weather is very bad today. "

Teacher: "The sun is shining everywhere. ”

Student: “There are clouds everywhere. "

Teacher: "The road is crowded with people. "

Student: "There is no one on the road. "

Teacher: "Young. ”

Student: “Old. "

Teacher: "Stand. "

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road. ”

Student: “There was a young man lying down on the road. ”

Teacher: “I picked up one yuan.” ”

Student: “I lost one dollar.” "

Teacher: "I picked up one yuan and gave it to the teacher.

”

Student: “I lost one yuan and went to steal the teacher.” ”

Teacher: “Wrong, you can’t say that!” ”

Student: “Correct, that’s what it should be said!” "

Teacher: "Wrong. "

Student: "Correct. ”

Teacher: “This is not okay, this is illegal!” ”

Student: “That’s okay, it’s legal!” "

Teacher: "I said it was wrong. "

Student: "We said it is correct. ”

Teacher: “Listen to the teacher, what the teacher says is correct!” "

Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong! "

Teacher: "You are stupid. ”

Student: “We are smart. "

Teacher: "Stop! ”

Student: “Continue!” ”

Teacher: “Stop now!” Stop talking! ”

Student: “Let’s continue now! More to say! ”

Teacher: “You stupid pigs, I say stop!” ”

Student: “We are all geniuses, we say continue!” ”

Teacher: “You listen to the teacher!” ”

Student: “Teacher, listen to us!” ”

Teacher: “Students must listen to the teacher!” ”

Student: “Teachers must listen to their students!” ”

Teacher: “Stop practicing now! ”

Student: “Now let’s continue practicing! ”

Teacher: “Are you done?” ”

Student: “We have a beginning and an end!” ”

Teacher: “Then stop!” idiot! ”

Student: “Then we should continue!” genius! ”

....Then the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom holding the book. Respondent: huachengyitwo | Level 1 | 2010-4-13 20:54

There is a person named Ah Shuang, his mother called him Shuang. One day when he died, his mother carried his coffin to the roadside and shouted: "It's so cool, it's so cool." Passers-by asked him: "Why are you so happy?" It was so cool.

1. Xiao Ming didn’t pass the exam, so he sent a telegram to his brother asking his father to be mentally prepared. Soon his brother called back: Father is ready, please be mentally prepared now. .

2. During the summer vacation, classmate A in the dormitory was surfing the Internet and met classmate B (QQ on mobile phone) and asked what he was doing at home during the summer vacation

B: Playing on Happy Farm

A: You can play such a stupid game

B: Damn it, I’m playing the real version

3. During the Warring States Period, Duke Heng of Qi was under house arrest for a day and a half. Duke Heng of Qi and his entourage were preparing to flee. When they arrived at the city gate, they found that it was still dark and the gate was not open, but the pursuers would soon come. At this time, Duke Heng of Qi's entourage imitated a few chicken crows, which were very similar to those of the city gate. , all the roosters in the city crowed. The soldiers thought it was dawn, so they opened the city gate and they escaped successfully.

After escaping from the city, Qi Henggong sighed: "It would be good to learn another foreign language!"

4. Yesterday, I heard a girl calling me in the corridor: "At first, you treated me as oxygen, and then as "Air, then carbon dioxide, now I am carbon monoxide, what do you mean!"

5. Son: Dad, why did God create men first and then women? Father: Maybe he didn’t want a woman nagging in his ear when he was creating a man!