5W 1H Talking about love

About "love in cholera period", Colombian literary critic Antonio Cavalier Rowe once commented on it like this:

Speaking of "love", even if there are thousands of words in my heart and thousands of thoughts in my head, I still can't write it.

This topic is grand and profound, but it is little known. Its cognition is like its example, without logic, template and definition. But since thinking is a concept of freedom, there is no right or wrong. Especially after reading this encyclopedia of love, I felt a lot. In addition, love reality shows and marriage variety shows are also common in recent days. Let's speak freely and express some local views in combination with current events.

It is at least a noun, Baidu Encyclopedia's explanation is:

"Love refers to the mutual love and friendship between two sentient individuals; It also refers to the feeling of love. "

But maybe it can also be a verb, because emotion itself cannot be a static psychological state. This kind of emotion is accompanied by happy positive energy such as happiness, happiness and touching, and also mixed with sad negative emotions such as jealousy, sadness and disappointment. In biology, love is dominated by the power of evolution, which works through hormones, and produces sexual desire and a series of chemical reactions with the secretion of "love hormones".

In the book, Sarah? Noriega said to Ariza:

I think true love is the unity of body and mind. If you only love someone spiritually and don't want any physical contact, this Platonic love does not satisfy the emotional uniqueness of "exclusive love", but prefers the high-level spiritual sublimation of "love".

If there is only the desire to have physical relations, it is only the physical reaction of the body. Human beings are advanced emotional creatures with thinking ability and self-control ability. Such "love" is only an animal impulse, not an emotional state of human nature. As for the types of love, the author Marquez tells us in his book that the appearance of love can be varied:

Love can be faithful in spirit for a lifetime.

Young telegraph operator florentino? Ariza vs rich girl Fermin? Dasha fell in love at first sight. He wrote letters for her, played the violin for her, and regarded her as his corolla goddess. Even after more than 50 years of separation, he is still absolutely loyal to her in spirit.

Love can be physical infidelity, even if the mind remains absolutely loyal to the lover.

What is it, florentino? Ariza thinks that his love for Fermin can be replaced by secular passion. Even though he always asked himself to be "Fermin's husband" and never established a marriage or maintained a long-term stable relationship with any mistress, he was impressed and recorded as many as 622 mistresses. Even mentally, he has always maintained the original purity and virginity to Fermina, but in fact, he is not a "lover" in the secular sense, and he is a "playboy" enough.

Love can be a flash in the pan.

When florentino was in middle age, she met a woman at a carnival. He invited her to eat ice cream. They went to see the float parade together. He watched her dancing in the square. She promised him to go to the seaside lighthouse to watch the dawn after the party. His love for her stems from her indifference in the noisy crowd. Even though she said she was crazy from the beginning, even though they only met once, florentino was heartbroken when she was kidnapped by the staff of the insane asylum. He even wandered around the street where the madhouse was located with chocolate for a long time, but the two never met again.

Love can be a long-term mutual admiration.

Even if he actively pursues marrying Fermin, what about Hu Weina? For Dr. urbino, at first he thought he didn't love her, but only valued her arrogance, her seriousness, her strength and her vanity. Obviously, Fermina didn't love doctors at first and refused many times. In the end, she only promised him because she was "afraid of missing the opportunity".

Like many ordinary couples in the world, their marriage did not stem from love. However, in the later 50 years of husband and wife's life, after experiencing the sweetness and triviality of marriage, even though I don't know when love took root, the feelings between husband and wife grew deeper and deeper with age.

I was moved by Dr. urbino's confession to his wife before he died. He swallowed his last breath and said to her, "Only God knows how much I love you."

At the same time, as her husband lay dying, Fermina realized how much she loved him. She prayed in her heart that God would give her more time to let him know how much she loved her, and she strongly hoped to start over with him. The gorgeous fireworks like love at first sight are certainly gratifying and emotional, but why not let the world be moved by the silent love? In the ordinary life accompanied by hand in hand, the fetters between people began to shine. Love takes a long time to grow, even if it is not as romantic as love at first sight, it is rock-solid and can last for a long time.

Perhaps there is a kind of love, which is strongly vowed.

The rich girl fell in love with the poor boy, and regardless of her family's opposition, she married a "very unreliable" mule businessman urgently. Fermina? Fermin's mother, Sanchez, is the spy of the most prominent local family. Her love is passionate and heartless. Even Lorenzo? Dasa is rude and even has a black history of cheating. Sanchez always sticks to his true colors and loves bravely and openly.

Maybe there is a kind of love that is confidential.

At the beginning of the book, the focus of the description is Hector Remia? De Saint Amor, a legend who makes a living as a photographer for children, committed suicide at the age of 60 for fear of getting old. Dr urbino, who met almost every day, thought he was his good friend, but only after reading his suicide note did he know that the photographer had a girlfriend who had been in love for many years.

The doctor can't figure out: these two people don't have any moral burden. They are all adults with free bodies. Why do they hide their love? Girlfriend's explanation is that two people can enjoy generate from unrequited love.

Perhaps, it is a kind of happiness to walk hand in hand in the street with your beloved in the sun; Isn't it a kind of happiness to snuggle up to your beloved and understand each other in the moonlight?

God does not know when Cupid will shoot the sacred arrow of love for two people.

Maybe at dusk, under a tree, he met her to study, and he had the impulse to accompany her to study, just like Ariza and Fermin met; Maybe in an ordinary room, during an ordinary working time, he suddenly fell in love with her at first sight, and wanted to treat her every day and recuperate his lovesickness like Dr. urbino and Barbara? Miss Lynch's meeting. Even if he betrayed his wife, broke his marriage vows and destroyed the moral foundation, even if he met so many women, the doctor knew from the moment he saw her that his fate "had an irreversible thing."

The world often cannot predict when and where it will meet true love, but when love happens, the heart begins to beat as usual.

The rib myth of Adam and Eve in the Bible, and the fable of the collocation and matching of different shapes of hearts in the story all gave me the first impression of intimate relationship: magic and fit.

Who will be tempted is really unpredictable.

Even if one person's material conditions meet the standards in all aspects, another person may be indifferent. In layman's terms, whether you can fall in love with someone is actually "can he hit me on the spot?" As for what this point is, there are thousands of people. Maybe it's just the afternoon sunshine, and the white shirt worn by teenagers makes girls fascinated; Perhaps it is the girl's shy smile that makes the young man feel excited; Perhaps it is the gentleness and courtesy of a gentleman and the gentleness and gracefulness of a lady that make each other feel each other; Perhaps it is the unruly stubbornness of boys and the naughty femininity of girls that make each other enjoy it. Maybe you are perfect, maybe you are not successful, but whether I love you or not depends on my heart, not the rational analysis of my brain. Today I say I don't love you, but I can't promise that I will toss and turn for you tomorrow. In the same way, one moment I said I love you, maybe the next moment I think you are extremely ordinary.

Falling in love with someone may be because of the material conditions of the other person, or because of the other person's three views, more likely because of your appearance at first sight, or because of the mutual "domestication" that accompanies day and night. Forgive my wild guess, the secretion of "love dopamine" makes people happy, but there is no clear scientific research result on its mechanism. I am afraid that the secretion of hormones is affected by various environmental factors, and there are too many uncontrollable observation conditions.

Run a topic, in my life, in fact, I have seen too many on-off relationships. It is difficult for both sides to be loyal to one person all the time, and various forms of infidelity are common, especially emotional infidelity. I felt very angry at first, but after reading more, I understood the "complexity of human nature." Yes, life is too long and there are too many opportunities. If you love one person because of one trait or characteristic, why can't you love another person because of the same trait or characteristic? In the vast world, no matter in appearance, height, personality or three views, everyone can find someone similar to himself. It is too difficult to be highly loyal in thought. Even Ariza, a "pure" person who calls herself Fermina, has physical relations with more than 600 mistresses. Isn't that cheating? After reading too many cases, I no longer believe in the identity of love, but I believe in the same type of love. In other words:

I don't believe in vows, because it's hard for an elusive heart to swear.

I believe in responsibility, which is more rational than love.

I think, the person worthy of trust is not necessarily the person I love most, but it must be the person with the most sense of responsibility.

The occurrence and end of love is of course chaotic, but how to pull it back from the edge of the cliff is clear. Even if you can't control the ups and downs of your feelings at will, your brain will give a reasonable judgment after combining various situations, plus vigilance and moral judgment. Married people will be punished by law for cheating, while lovers will be morally responsible for cheating, perhaps to ensure the sanctity of love.

It is precisely because love is precious that human beings need to warn each other through certain means:

You can be tempted, but you have to use your head.

A responsible person will not cheat at will because of impulse, nor will he be reckless because of scheming. As written in the book, even though Dr. urbino likes female patients violently, he still cries for his family. You can break up, you can divorce, you can stop loving, but breaking up openly is far more respectable than hiding it. The unique and precious passion of love is to make people feel the spiritual happiness that love brings to mankind, not to give themselves an excuse for promiscuity, nor to break through the so-called "secular moral bondage." If you don't love, you will part, and then start over with the person you love, which is good for many parties.

How about it: Is there love?

In the book, the poetess Sarah? Noriega said:

"Love, first of all, is an instinct.

Either you will be born or you will never be born. "

But in fact, I think love is not uncultured. People are constantly growing, and their own in winter is not necessarily the same as their own in summer. Since people will change, so will the thoughts of natural people and their ability to love others? In today's world, a search on the Internet can teach people how to save their ex-lovers' emotional skills and strategies to get rid of orders, but the results are mixed. Although you can't believe it, it is also a pleasure to use the "careful machine" in intimate relationships occasionally.

There is an interesting theory about how to get love:

Q=A+V+S, where q is the success rate of single withdrawal,

A is the size of social circle, V is self-worth and S is skill.

I think it makes sense, but when it comes to importance, I prefer to improve my self-worth. Long-term intimacy should come from sexual attraction, not various catering skills. Only by improving the external image and enhancing the internal value can the relationship between two people be stable and long-lasting. On the basis of self-Excellence, broaden your circle of friends and meet new people, so that you can have the opportunity to meet the other half who love each other. Among them, the use of various skills only makes the other party realize their Excellence better, rather than skillfully using skills to create a "please" person.

Among many skills, I always love sincerity and only love "straight ball"

Everyone in the world says that the "secret love" in the ambiguous period is charming, but I think the sincere and frank naked love is more attractive. Even if it is dull and unromantic, time is rare. If you have a heart, how can you not care about this day and night? I love you, just like being with you. I don't want to wait any longer. Those so-called skills are just flirting tools, not measuring instruments to test your mind. Love clumsily, confess generously, love and not love openly. Isn't the natural expression of love more in line with the characteristics of passionate love?

On the way to find love, from my short life experience, I realized that I must be brave!

I like the words that the man's mother, Trancito, warned her son:

"The weak will never enter the kingdom of love. The kingdom of love is ruthless and stingy. Women are only committed to men who dare to do things, because such men can give them the sense of security they crave and let them face life squarely. "

If you hesitate in front of the person you like, you will miss the opportunity.

Recently, in a popular amateur love variety show, a girl drifted away from a boy who had a good impression on her because of her early hesitation and unclear expression. When she was still embarrassed, another girl's bold love and publicity made her brave, and the boy finally got married. This is not a case. Many people pass by people they care about because they are too slow to express their feelings. Because I am worried that I am not good enough, or I am too good, I put pressure on the other party and can't really express my feelings. But this is just your own wishful thinking. Maybe the other person likes your type? Besides, you may already be excellent, and the other person may be waiting for you to give him confidence. After all, being with someone better than yourself is probably the enlightenment of love.

San Mao, a writer in Taiwan Province Province, once wrote:

"If I don't love him, he is a millionaire and I won't marry him. I love him, he is a multimillionaire, and I will marry him! "

How transparent! Love itself doesn't have that many rules. Looking back, I found that love is very simple, like is like, don't like is don't like. If you like someone, just say it. It is gratifying that the other person likes you, but if the other person is not interested, he can make a clear judgment on the next step. Secret love is bitter and obscure, but it is also an "automatic". Of course, the premise of expressing love bravely is not to disturb each other's lives and to have the right to express love freely. It's still not feasible to embarrass each other in the street. Knowing that the other person has a family or an object, it is immoral to chase after others to confess. Courage does not mean recklessness.

But as long as you are brave, can you be together? Examples of being beaten by the woman's father like in the book abound in reality. Even though times have changed, a couple like Ariza and Fermin can no longer be together, although there are no obstacles in their later years.

"At that time, they were too young to fall in love.

Then they got old, and so did they. "

I admire Fermin's open-mindedness and sobriety, but Ariza's persistence made me feel the mystery and greatness of love. I was deeply impressed by his shyness in writing his first letter, the bitterness of his fever and illness because he was waiting for a reply, the pain of playing the violin outside Fermin's window with all his eggs in one basket, his numerous insistence on her "pure" belief and the sweetness of traveling with her.

To tell the truth, Ariza's spiritual purity and physical indulgence in love hardly make me think that he is spoony. But at the end of the book, if he is on the deck, it is hard not to let me feel his sincerity.

This is the mystery of great love and the complexity of human nature.

After reading it, it feels a bit long. Let's summarize the full text:

Love is an emotion, which has many forms, but it is difficult to know when, where and to whom it comes.

The core of finding love is to improve self-worth and skillfully show self-charm in a larger social space.

Love is mysterious and great.

Finally, thank you very much for listening to my nonsense again.

(Bow and salute! )

For me, one of the purposes of opening an official WeChat account is to record my thoughts at different stages of my life. Maybe in a few years, months or years, when I look back on my current thoughts, I will have a different view, just like "The Daughter of Reading the Changing Sea". Welcome everyone to leave a message backstage and discuss with me. Thank you.