Once upon a time, I loved you

My roommate Xingxing has always been interested in a boy I liked before. It was a relationship that I never dared to face, because once, I became distrustful of people and love, and the shadow left behind caused my later relationships to never go smoothly. This time, I want to tell this story carefully, because it has passed...

I don’t know whether it was because I was premature or because I was too curious. I had my first boyfriend when I was in the first grade of junior high school. , and at that time, H20 (the person I want to talk about, let’s call him H20, that’s how I called him in my diary) was not very familiar with me, until we sat next to each other when we changed seats in the second grade of junior high school.

H20 is our math class representative and our labor committee member. His academic performance has always been among the top five in the class. He is good at solving problems, has a cold and arrogant personality, and is quite popular, but he is very popular with everyone. Especially girls. I was the life committee member and a bad team leader, and my grades were among the top five. I was his strong competitor, but I always lagged behind in math.

After all, we are all classmates, and we sit together all day long, and there are always exchanges such as discussing topics, but I am really familiar with H20 because Xiaofan (the host of Shanghai Music Radio, host "Pianpianqing", the listening rate has always been very high, but this program is no longer available), and found that he also listened to "Thank you, doctor, I understand." A very familiar voice came from outside the door, and then the door opened, It's Danan! He carried two large bags of delicious food and walked in with his head drooped and a sad look on his face. Deng Nan immediately closed his eyes and continued to pretend to be unconscious. "Every Love", I was very excited at that time and felt that I had met my soulmate. So for such a simple reason, he and I started writing letters. Junior high school students are innocent. Even though we are together every day, we still have to do this. Then...I started to like him. I thought his eyes were so deep. I feel so good, I feel he is so deep, I always don’t know what he is thinking, the feelings of a junior high school student are just like this. Another half year later, Dawei came back, but this time he didn’t bring back much money. Dawei said that he originally made a lot of money when he went out with others, but this month he took a fancy to a batch of goods and invested a lot of capital. Unexpectedly, the price suddenly fell, which caused them a lot of losses. few. ...This is how my tragedy began.

He is usually very silent, but his words are often shocking. I like boys like this very much, and I don’t like boys who chatter all day long. Maybe it’s also because of Xiaofan, because I am a special “pen pal” with him. He has always been very kind to me, helping me understand some math questions that I don’t know, and is very patient. However, when others ask him to teach, he is always not the best. It was very positive. I was secretly happy. It felt good to be treated specially.

At that time, our school had a top-notch supplementary class on Saturdays. The top-notch class was divided into top-notch class one and top-notch class two. The top 35 students in grade were in top-notch class one. Those from 36 to 70 are in the second class. At the beginning, he and I were both in the top class. We discussed problems together during class, and we went to the carport to push the cart home together after school. But then I unexpectedly failed in a monthly exam. I did very poorly in math. As a result, my grade ranking dropped to 39th, and it was very difficult to wear the top grade. You need to turn the chair upside down first, and then put it all the way in. You also need to flatten and spread the socks like a woman. And you have to mutter something and call your name, "Come on, be good, put on your socks so your feet won't freeze." The class division system is rolling. I went to the second class, but he still stayed in the first class.

After I arrived in Class 2, I always felt that I couldn’t save my face, and I became a little alienated from him, and my grades plummeted. He noticed the change in me and kept telling me he was sorry. I don't know why he was sorry to me. I just can't learn mathematics well. How can I blame him? The next midnight, I woke up with a splitting headache and found that the lights were not turned off, and my mother was sitting on the edge of my bed looking at me, her eyes red and swollen. Mom said to me: "Dapeng, Mom feels really bad when I see you in such pain. Mom knows that you really like that girl, so you should go find her again. Just think that Mom was wrong and take back what she said." , I just ask you not to torture yourself like this anymore." Under the light, Mom's wrinkles and white hair were as clear as knives. Her tears fell on the letter, and Tao Xiaoning quickly wiped them with a tissue. Engraved in my eyes, I endured the pain and sat up, "Mom, it's my fault for not finding a wife you can rest assured of, and for making you worry about ***. I promise Mom, I won't drink in the future." "Mom took my hand, "Dapeng, mom is counting on you." A teardrop fell on my hand, and I held my mom's rough hand tightly. After that, although we still kept in touch with each other, the conversations between classes were much less... I was escaping, and so was he.

In order to be able to attend class with him in the same classroom again on Saturday, I studied very hard, hoping that I could do better in the midterm exam and still return to class one. Hard work always pays off. My midterm exam results were extremely good and I was ranked ninth in my grade. However... he was ranked forty or higher... My heart suddenly fell to the bottom. After I pressed him, he revealed the reason. It turned out that he had done poorly on purpose. He had left all five multiple-choice questions blank in mathematics, as well as physics, chemistry... He had given up on many questions that he was confident about. But why didn't he expect that I would work hard for him and do well in the exam? In this way, I went to the first class for him; he went to the second class for me; we still can't be together...

I thought of the story of fish and birds. In the past, birds lived in the water and fish lived in the sky, but the birds and the fish fell in love.

They wanted to live together, so they all went to God for help. The bird said to God, please send me from the water to the sky. The fish said to God, please send me from the sky to the water. God satisfied them. So, the bird grew wings and flew into the sky, but it could not find the fish, because at this time the fish had grown scales and got into the water to find the bird...

The third grade of junior high school At that time, he came to our class and sat with me again. My relationship with him is getting better and better, and my heart is always sweet. But none of us tried to pierce the layer of paper, as we all seemed to want to bury this green feeling in our hearts. There are also classmates who often make fun of us, but we just laugh and don’t answer.

At that time, there was a girl in the class with good grades and good looks who was close to me. She and H20 were classmates in elementary school. She said that H20 was very popular among girls in elementary school. , but he only likes her, and no other girls can compete with her. Looking at her smug expression when she spoke, I disapproved of it. Is this a declaration of war or something? I don't think I'm that boring to fight for a boy. Besides, what matters is what H20 thinks.

I don’t like that she deliberately went to H20 to help her do this and that, and I don’t like that H20 left her alone. I don’t like how I look like this, I seem to be jealous... I want him to see me, and I will even make trouble unreasonably. I will lend him an eraser and throw it away deliberately for him to pick up, and refuse to help him collect his math homework...

She always asked him who he liked, but he avoided answering, so she kept pestering him. I felt very uncomfortable, but I expected his answer to be mine. Later, he gave an answer, which was a riddle. The person he liked was: twopeople+ people+ two. Xinru was a beautiful junior girl. When winter vacation was about to start, she saw an ice sculpture of a fish mermaid at an ice sculpture competition organized by the school. She was dazzling and stood out from the crowd, and while she was praising her, she suddenly noticed that other students were covering their mouths and smiling meaningfully at her. Only then did she notice that the fish beauty's face was actually carved according to her own face! Xinru felt that her ears were burning, but she was happy and confused in her heart: Who is playing such a big joke on herself? ? = " is the prefix "human", "two" is the two horizontal lines, "X" is the page number of the word "小" in "Modern Chinese Dictionary"... The person I like is not me...

But Christmas At that time, he called me and said that his brother had given his girlfriend a three-piece warm suit. He also wanted to give it to me and asked me if I would accept it. I was already trying to get out of his shadow, but he said he liked me again... The man was good at his craftsmanship, and several construction sites were vying for it. His salary doubled. After he pushed the fat girl away, he said, "Let's just be friends!" "It's going up. The man got drunk one day and said to her affectionately, "The work in the fields is too heavy, so you'd better stop doing it. I can support you." …I said, isn’t it that you like her? You should be nicer to her. This is indeed the case. Looking at our media, we see that the classic successful online dating company has been involved in sex fraud and money fraud one after another. Perhaps it is true that the saying "good things don't go out, bad things spread thousands of miles" is true. Old saying? Perhaps online dating accidents are more newsworthy and “readable”? But no matter what, there is no doubt that some netizens have unfortunately become obsessed with online dating and fallen into the trap. As a result, the Internet has changed here. It is no longer the kind old man under the moon, but has become the cause of troubles and tragedies. "Accomplice" and "executioner", so "online dating" has become synonymous with "love trap". , I'm just your ordinary friend. He was stunned by what I said and didn't know how to continue. I went on to say, I will not participate in this boring game of yours, I will quit. After saying that, I cried myself. After being silent for a long time, he told me "Don't quit" and hung up the phone.

Later on, he became silent towards that girl and me too. I don’t know what he wanted. We still exchange letters, but we never mention sensitive topics. We have always had a tacit understanding. I feel that he still likes me.

I remember that it rained heavily. He lent me his raincoat and helped me put on my hat. Everything he did was so gentle. He would send text messages and call Zhang Xiaohan when he had time. . However, due to work reasons, Zhang Xiaohan rarely got through the phone. Occasionally, Zhang Xiaohan only responded politely and hung up. Zhang Xiaohan's lukewarm attitude made Li Chenjun mistakenly think that he was testing himself. He felt more and more that Zhang Xiaohan was a girl worthy of his pursuit. I almost got drunk...

Unexpectedly, we changed seats in the next semester, and I separated from him. In 2006, before the rain stopped, you held an umbrella and wanted to leave. He sat with her, and I I always felt that it must be her fault. She was the best at getting close to teachers. She could definitely say that in order to improve her math scores, she wanted to get closer to the class representatives... His attitude began to change again... He often saw them in class. The two of us were chatting and laughing, and I felt very unbalanced, and my attitude towards him started to become bad.

I always felt that our relationship had deteriorated so much that Liu D quickly sent Zhang Ruxing to the hospital.

After examination, the doctor said: "Zhang Ruxing is in the advanced stage of cirrhosis. His liver has begun to shrink and become jagged. His life is in danger at any time. The only way is to have a liver transplant." But a liver transplant costs hundreds of thousands of yuan! Now that I have borrowed everything I can, where can I raise the money for a liver transplant? There was no communication, and he ignored me when I asked him questions. I was also laughed at by the girls who usually opposed me...

When I was filling in my application for the high school entrance examination, I asked him, and he said that he would definitely take the test. "Taigao" was surprised when he heard this. As far as he knew, Master Lao Zheng only had a daughter named Xiao Ran. The young man calling Lao Zheng father-in-law meant that he was Xiao Ran's husband, but Xiao Ran was only 18 years old this year. Not married! When Yue Ze was confused, Lao Zheng frowned and said to the young man: "You and Xiaoran haven't gotten married yet, so don't call me father-in-law." I filled in "too high" regardless of everything. This is what I have always said. Dream school.

"Zou Fei, can you buy something for me to eat?" However, Zou Fei couldn't even get out 1 yuan, so he had to walk out of the ward and borrowed 5 yuan from the nurse. , went downstairs and bought a box lunch. Zou Fei was very satisfied when he saw Liu Qin sitting on the hospital bed and eating a packed lunch. "Zou Fei, after I recover from my illness, the first thing I have to do is to accompany you to get a haircut." Zou Fei carefully fed Liu Qin. Her hair was long and messy, which made Liu Qin feel distressed. Zou Fei raised his head and looked at Liu Qin. His only thought was: No matter how difficult it is, he must raise money for Liu Qin's treatment! I performed extremely well in the exam, exceeding the admission score line by a lot, and achieved "too high" as I wished. However, at this time, I learned that he was admitted to "Shazhong" and his first choice was not "too high" at all. I asked him what was going on, and his score was clearly "too high" for admission. He vaguely said that he felt there was little hope before taking the exam, and changed his choice at the last minute, feeling that there was no need to discuss it with me.

I feel like I am numb from the pain. I think I should start to learn to forget.

New school, new beginning.

Life in the new school is very stressful. Every classmate is the best. I don’t feel any sense of superiority at all. So, I began to miss my junior high school life and him. I couldn't help but write him a letter, and I knew he would ignore me...

Unexpectedly, a week later, I received a letter from him. In his letter, he confessed what happened in the past:

...I want to tell you a story. It was late at night, and I looked up and saw that the sky was full of stars. Today, around the end of autumn, Xue suddenly called me. She said that her work was about to be completed, and she wanted to send a few pages for me to take a look at first. I asked. Is she not afraid that I will steal your story? She smiled and said that stories cannot be stolen, because the real story can only be in the heart of the writer. She said that she devoted a lot of energy to writing this work, and sometimes she even stayed up at night, because as soon as she lay down, her mind was filled with the structure of the story and the shadow of the protagonist. Sometimes she even thought she was the heroine in the story. The protagonist can't help but be as moody as the heroine, laughing and crying. He moved a bit, then grabbed his clothes and put them on randomly, without even looking at me, and lay down again. I was not happy anymore, so I took out a physical simulation inscription. Halfway through the circuit diagram, Tang Seng raised his head and said: Hey, Bajie, let’s go see a movie together this Saturday. I asked in surprise: Why? He said: I want to have a Valentine's Day where I am not alone. I looked at him confused, and he was very discouraged: If you don't want to, forget it. I pouted: Okay, okay, seeing as you are a poor bachelor, I will just feel aggrieved. He rolled his eyes in return: "Speak as if you are not a bachelor, each other." Crying and laughing, the evening seemed extraordinarily bright, and the air was still filled with the fragrance of roses. My mood is also extremely relaxed and comfortable. Valentine's Day is so wonderful! Who said that Valentine's Day roses can only decorate love!

"Regret". Protagonist: Huo, Yi, Qiao.

The story takes place in junior high school. Huo, Yi, and Qiao were put together when they were sorted into classes. Huo and Qiao were classmates in elementary school, while Yi graduated from another school. When he was in elementary school, Huo had a crush on Qiao, but he never expressed it...

I don't know when, Huo accidentally learned that Yi also listened to Xiaofan's "Pianpianqing" and also liked to listen to "Pianpianqing" by Xiaofan. "Mood Story", and Yi had many "stories" like this. Later, Yi decided to write a story for Huo every week. Although the story was not long, Yi would write and work for more than ten days every week. , the Spring Festival is coming soon, and I am ready to go home, but it is too difficult to buy tickets. I waited for a long time and still couldn't buy a ticket. , Gradually, Huo began to reply to Yi, so although they were roommates, Huo and Yi began to communicate by letter. Although it was only once a week, Yi and Huo enjoyed it endlessly, and there was gradually another person in Luo's heart. , but Huo didn't notice it and didn't try to find it.

Until one day, Yi and Qiao asked Xu at the same time: "Who do you like? You have to choose one of us." Xu was confused and didn't know how to answer. Because at the moment when they asked the question, Huo Huo felt that the person in his heart was no longer the former Qiao, but Qiao's friend. Why should he avoid me? He didn't know how to answer, nor how he would face Qiao in the future. So he chose to love someone silently, which is a simple thing. Philip listened to his inner guidance, followed the trajectory of his heart, and waited for the constellation of love to move.

He announced that he had given up his right to inherit the Greek throne and changed his day to Orthodox Christianity. After work, after his colleagues had left, Winterson suddenly took out a bunch of red roses from behind as if by magic, then knelt on one knee in front of Zhao Yawei, and said affectionately: "Xiao Wei , I fell in love with you deeply the first time I saw you. Please accept me!" Zhao Yawei was caught off guard and was at a loss for a while before she stammered: "Yes... I'm sorry, I, I. I already have... I have a boyfriend, so..." His religion is Anglican, and Philip's name is changed to Philip Mountbatten. British Wang Xiong Qian arrived late. When he entered the venue, Wang Feng was singing "The Wandering Singer's Lover" a cappella: "I I can only give you a small attic with a north-facing window so you can see the stars. The room finally agreed. , let the silence last for the next few days. He knows that no matter who he chooses, it will be bad for everyone.

One is the girl he once liked, and the other is the one he likes in his heart. If you say Qiao, it is a kind of deception to yourself. If you say Yi, you feel a little guilty. After all, you have liked Qiao in your heart. Now, if you say Yi, will Yi feel that she is not persistent? Would she not like boys who change like this? There are too many worries that make me unable to speak.

Later, Yi entered the best provincial key school in the area, while Huo entered an ordinary high school. In this way, the commodity market for him was changing rapidly, and commodity exchanges paid attention to timeliness. When doing business, he could not live without running. It is difficult to see visitors at the door. Only by running can you learn market information and find the right time to make profits. They started a new life again.

One day, Huo received a letter from Yi. The moment he received the letter, Huo realized that he had not forgotten Yi, but had locked her tightly in his heart. Huo regretted not confessing his love for Yi in the first place, and regretted not having the courage to say it out loud in the first place, but what's the use of regret?

Huo wrote a long letter back to Yi:

"...I'm sorry, can you love me again? Yi, can you forgive me?"

This is a true story, you know what I am talking about...

The story is really not very well written, but, holding the letter, my world was suddenly flooded with tears again .

(End)

God created me because he was afraid of your loneliness - H20 told me.

At that time, I didn’t understand that I couldn’t start over what I missed. I didn’t understand that the changes in feelings are subtle. I was just hot-headed. I could only see the present but couldn’t see what was further away. All I thought about was that we would be there in three years. We are in the same university and our relationship is so good. I think about him every day and he also thinks about me.

His school is not in the city, so he goes home once every two weeks. During those twelve days, I was looking forward to his coming back soon. The relationship at that time was really simple. Every time we had a so-called date, he came to my house, we did homework together for an afternoon, and then talked about the new things in our respective schools, and that was it.

I don’t know if he put too much energy into his relationship, but his grades have not improved much. When he saw the girl’s weak body lying quietly on the bed, he finally lost his mind. , he fell into the girl's arms, and disobedient tears flowed out from his eyes in large numbers, sliding over his bitter face and dripping on her chest... He has become the best in their school. A person who is at the top of his grade. Every time he comforted me, saying that the school was different and everyone's level was actually the same, but I was still angry and felt that I was so unsatisfied and how could I still study in college with him in the future.

Busy studying always makes time fly by, and it’s the end of the term in a blink of an eye. The city's unified exam, Chinese, Mathematics, English, Physics, Chemistry, History and Geography, he was almost 100 points higher than me...

During the winter vacation, I finally didn't have to endure the pain of meeting once every two weeks, but I didn't meet him once every two weeks. I became inexplicably distant, and it seemed like he always had things to do. I was also doing social practice arranged by the school in the supermarket, and was busy during half of the winter vacation.

On February 14th, I asked for leave to accompany him. I waited for four hours at the agreed meeting place. There was light rain in the sky, but he was still nowhere to be seen. My heart ached, and my feet Can't move forward. I just stood there dumbly holding the Valentine's Day gift I was going to give him, letting the rain drip down my hair...

Later I saw him. When I went home to London, Li Chen stayed at the set to watch when he had nothing to do. Fan Bingbing filmed. What surprised him was that although Fan Bingbing was a star, she didn't act like a big name and obeyed the photographer's arrangements. Sometimes a group of shots would take an entire afternoon to shoot, and she was so tired that her forehead was sweating and she didn't complain. This professionalism impressed Li Chen. On the way, he and a group of his brothers were laughing and joking. I wanted to run away, but his sharp-eyed brother saw him and pushed him to come over. I wanted to run away, but my body froze again. As if nothing happened, he said, "Why are you here? Are you caught in the rain?" I felt like I was about to burst the embankment, so I threw my things to him and ran away.

When I got home, I felt aggrieved and called him to question him. He said he left without seeing me.

The next day, I was very distracted. When I was helping a customer pack bags, I put soap in the rice cake as if it were rice cake. I was scolded severely by the old man.

After school started, he never answered my phone calls or replied to my letters.

I don’t know what happened during the winter vacation...

I don’t know whether I should say that I am *** or persistent. I kept writing to him, one letter every month, until before the college entrance examination...His A brother started chasing me. I didn't know whether I wanted to give up completely or find a shoulder to lean on, but I actually agreed.

H20’s college entrance examination results were as expected, he entered a first-class university, and I...

To this day, I still don’t know why he suddenly became silent again He didn't know why our relationship started to freeze again. I thought of many reasons for him, but I was just sad. I think maybe we haven't started yet, so there is no end. We didn't even hold hands...

It took about half a year to grow up, and her vitality was exhausted to the end. That morning she suddenly seemed to be getting better. She insisted that he buy a wig. Because of chemotherapy, all her hair fell out. During the semester, I received a text message from an unknown number, "Sorry", it was H20.

Three years late.

I love you