Beijing is too small for him, and the grassland is too big. That's home.

This is the story of 14 goodbye in Beijing.

Little K, 29 years old, has been in Beijing for two years. He is a film and television worker who has left Beijing and returned to his hometown Hulunbeier. ...

Beijing's career is only two short years. Although it's not long, I can't bear to leave. But how difficult it is to stay in Beijing. Leaving is a helpless choice. You may delay, but time will not. Compromise with reality seems to be the consistent ending of all stories. ...

Self-evaluation: flow freely and follow one's inclinations.

Little K is a Mongolian boy, and his hometown is Hulunbeier with vast grassland. Growing up in the vast green ocean, a poetic and romantic life has always been his yearning.

He is no stranger to Beijing. His parents took him to the capital on business since he was a child. As the ancient capital of the Six Dynasties, Beijing has long been fascinated by its rich humanistic atmosphere.

Reading and writing are Xiao K's main hobbies, so the university chose the Chinese Department. However, according to him, times have gradually become unfriendly to words. Instead of speaking words, it is better to follow the trend and explain the content with audio and video.

Coincidentally, after graduation, he traveled to Beijing and met a friend in the film and television circle. After being recommended, Xiao K excitedly joined a film and television company in Beijing.

Not long after coming to Beijing, Xiao K confirmed his prediction.

On the subway, a large number of office workers stumble but always hold mobile phones, and most of them are watching videos of different lengths. Among peers, there are many people who read novels on their mobile phones, and even fewer people buy paper books and even have reading habits.

Before coming to Beijing, Xiao K was still very strange to the film and television industry. The words actor, director and photography seem to have nothing to do with themselves. When he really participated in the production work, he was so excited that he had to constantly learn and enrich himself.

However, one thing is certain, that is, the film and television industry is a sunrise industry with great potential and space. If you devote your whole life to this, it is undoubtedly a good decision. At the beginning of his life in Beijing, Xiao K was very happy every day, holding a script meeting, discussing projects and meeting the master. Little K began to feel that he had at least lived the life he wanted.

Just when Xiao K was at home in Beijing, an unexpected thing happened.

Maybe he grew up on the vast prairie, and even the university is in the suburbs of the city. Little K has never experienced a large number of people concentrated in the same space. But when working in Beijing, it is inevitable to commute by subway. Every morning and evening at the peak, Xiao K will be flustered, stuffy in the chest, unable to breathe, and sometimes dizzy.

At first, he didn't care, and his symptoms would be relieved after a short rest in the company. Until one day, his eyes were black and he fell to one side. Fortunately, the subway was crowded enough. He didn't fall and was woken up in time. The kind people next to him gave him a seat to rest. He sat in his seat all the time and broke out in a cold sweat before he slowly recovered. He got off the subway, took a taxi in Beijing for the first time, asked for leave from work for the first time, and realized his body signal for the first time.

It turns out that Xiao K suffers from mild anxiety disorder. The huge subway traffic during the rush hour in Beijing has had an impact on his mind and body. At the same time, his heart rate is irregular and his brain lacks oxygen.

After living in Beijing for three months, helpless little K moved for the first time and moved to a place where he could walk to work. Although the rent has increased a lot and the commuting situation has improved, from then on, anxious little K began to doubt whether Beijing, a crowded big city, is suitable for himself who is used to free space.

"Now we have changed and are busy with life every day."

With the passage of time, the company's restructuring and personal growth, Xiao K's workload is getting bigger and bigger, which puts him under great pressure, not only to complete the work according to the goal, but also to find time to learn new things. The rest time after work is even less pitiful.

Overtime is an unavoidable theme in the workplace in Beijing. Xiao K recalled two years of work experience, and almost no day left work on time. At the busiest time, I didn't even have a chance to drink water or go to the toilet. As for eating, when did he remember it desperately and when did he take two bites? Sometimes the leftovers are cold and then heated in the microwave oven. I forgot not to eat when I was busy at work, and I brought a new takeaway. ...

Most film and television workers have an unhealthy routine and habit. Docking usually starts at noon, and then stays up late into the night. This makes Xiao K, who has always had a good sleep quality, gradually bid farewell to a good sleep.

Long-term full-load work, the spirit has not been able to rest and relax, and the vicious circle will affect work and life.

Later, Xiao K couldn't remember how many times he brushed his teeth with facial cleanser and threw the breakfast out as garbage. When he tried the contract, he misremembered the contract amount and made a mistake in the overall planning of the project.

Xiao K is generous by nature, has the enthusiasm of a prairie boy, loves to make friends, and has several girlfriends in Beijing, but his busy and monotonous life makes Xiao K have no time to get together with them.

Even Xiao K's own sister works in Beijing, and they met less than 20 times in two years.

Xiao K said with a wry smile that Beijing is very big. Sometimes it is scheduled to leave at 20 o'clock to find my sister. It's already 2 1 o'clock when you are busy, and it's only 1 more hours by subway. Seeing that my sister was eating and chatting for less than 1 hour, I rushed back to the last subway. It was past midnight when I got home.

But K added that Beijing is small and getting smaller. Because he has basically never been to Beijing in the past two years, he only lives in the East Fourth Ring Road in Chaoyang District, commuting between his company and his home, and living a life of two points and one line. The Forbidden City, the Summer Palace and Prince Gong's Palace are only blurred in childhood memories.

But in his mind, the real life in Beijing, the authentic Beijinger, little K doesn't have much contact and feelings. Little K, who lives in Beijing, is becoming more and more strange to Beijing.

Under the heavy pressure, Xiao K decided to have a rest and leave himself alone.

So he found many problems that he had never considered: such as getting married and having children, buying a car and a house, registering household registration, and educating children.

In Beijing, he has no time to socialize, let alone fall in love. He said he didn't even want to talk about his girlfriend. The girls here always make him feel naive and trustworthy.

What's more, he doesn't have a Beijing hukou yet. As for houses and cars, it seems impossible in Beijing. The high housing prices make him flinch, and even if he can afford it, he will feel guilty when he lives.

If you have children, going to school is a bigger problem.

This is a realistic and cruel problem. The more k thinks about it, the more he can't breathe. He thought about it and finally decided that although Beijing is good, he can't see his future. If he finds out in time, he must make a decision in time.

After the vacation, Xiao K offered to resign, and he was responsible for the handover for a long time.

When it was all over, he carefully packed up memorable office supplies and autographed photos of the stars, because this was the last memory of his work and struggle in Beijing.

When he left the company, he just looked at the busy and messy workstation, but now it is empty. After standing for a long time, I turned and went out into the elevator, crying silently. The Mongolian man's tears at this time are reluctant, unwilling, nostalgic and over.

After leaving his job for a long time, Xiao K will still dream about Beijing, and his dream mood is just like when he first arrived in Beijing.

He deliberately drove back from his hometown, packed his luggage and clothes, refunded the rent and went to say goodbye to his friends one by one. He seems to be carefully erasing all traces of himself in Beijing.

Then ride the dust, without a cloud, and return to the beautiful grassland. ...

Little K who came home from naked resignation had a good rest. However, after a long time, he can no longer find the feeling of touching the pillow before.

But the slow pace of his hometown made him feel comfortable for a long time. There is no busy work like chicken blood, no crowded subway, no indifferent crowd. He can be in a daze under the blue sky and white clouds, take a leisurely walk in the street, call his buddies out for dinner at any time, and then eat and drink for a long time. ...

As for work, the film and television industry I once joined has no chance in this border town of my hometown. First, for the dream of playing games as a child, Xiao K opened an Internet cafe in partnership with his friends, but this is only a sideline investment and won't take up too much of his energy.

With the opening of the second child and the changes in the market environment, he is particularly optimistic about the prospects of the education and training industry. Whether in the capital Beijing or little town on the prairie, parents want their children not to lose at the starting line, and Xiao K can apply what he has learned. Therefore, the establishment of a Chinese interest training school is a new career direction for Xiao K, and he has already begun to prepare for the site selection.

While busy with the start of his career, Xiao K is also considering solving lifelong events. Although the population of his hometown is far less than that of Beijing, there are many intersections between people. It is good for him and his parents to blossom and bear fruit where he grew up. Of course, the happiest people are his parents.

As for Beijing, Xiao K said that he would still think of Beijing's past from time to time. Friends said that his eyes would shine at that time, just like the song "Old Times".

He said: "One day, I will definitely go back and have a look. After all, my sister still works there. After all, after I get married and have children, I want to take them to see the places I have dreamed, struggled, given up and missed ... "