Wedding photography dog brother

Character: Mr. Xian-storyteller Liu-Liu Beiguan-Guan Yu

Zhang-Zhang Fei Zhuge-Zhuge Liang

First act

(a table with mallets and other items on it)

First (wearing robes and holding folding fans): Good evening, leaders, teachers and students! (fuels) Today, everyone is gathered together. I want to tell you a story (throwing down the folding fan)-Liu, Guan and Zhang San care about the thatched cottage! It is said that at the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, there were disputes all over the world. ...

Liu (dragging a pile of shoe boxes): Hey, look! Two and a half dollars for a pair of leather shoes! Jumping off a building and bleeding on sale! After this village, there is no such shop!

First (hastily stop): What are you doing?

Pushing an old No.28 bicycle and carrying a big bag. Sing while walking, tune "Red Sorghum"): Change rice, change rice, change rice, change rice, change rice!

The first (abandon Liuqu chase)

Zhang (carrying two butcher knives): Hey, I just killed Li Zhu this morning. Very fresh! (First from the right) Dude, hit two Jin of pork!

Number one: no! Go, go, go. What are you all doing here? When this is a farmers' market! Didn't you watch the show? Come on, come on, get out of the way (Pushing the three out) Sorry, everyone, let's move on. It is said that Liu Bei, after Wang Jing in Zhongshan, was born with the appearance of an emperor, with a tiger step and a dragon shape!

Liu: Hey, I'm Liu Bei.

Guan Yu!

Zhang: My name is Zhang Fei.

First: (surprised) ladies and gentlemen, I have been talking about books all my life, and it is the first time that I have met Liu, Guan and Zhang like this! (turning to three people) Hey, it's three heroes! I've heard a lot about you!

Liu: You're welcome.

Xian: Aren't you in the Eastern Han Dynasty? Why are you doing business here?

Liu: I don't know, sir. The unit policy has been invigorated, and my old section chief has been squeezed out by the new young man Dou!

Guan: The factory optimized the combination, and my technician was laid off.

Zhang: Don't mention it. I used to be the warehouse manager of that meat factory. Once I found a sick pig in the warehouse and threw it out. Who knows, the factory director saw it, and he dragged me back with a sick pig and threw me out!

Number one: Hey-not bad luck! So, three, how is business now?

Liu: Business? Alas!

Liu: (singing "I'm more annoyed recently") I'm more annoyed recently, more annoyed, more annoyed, and I always feel that life is a bit extreme. The quality of leather shoes is so poor that others will refund them as soon as they buy them! Alas!

Guan: (I'm very annoyed recently, singing) I'm very annoyed recently, very annoyed, very annoyed, and I haven't changed half a load of rice. People in the city are smart and capable, so they don't buy rice to cook. Alas!

Zhang: (I'm more annoyed recently, singing) I'm more annoyed recently, more annoyed than you, more annoyed than you! I always feel that money is getting harder to earn every day. Colleagues all sighed like this.

Xian, Liu and Guan: What do you mean?

Zhang: It's getting harder and harder to sell a pig a day!

Liu, Guan and Zhang: Alas, it is difficult!

First of all: it is difficult to do individual business now. Why don't you three cooperate in business? As the saying goes: if you are brothers, your profits will be cut off.

Liu: Why didn't you do it? Our two brothers used to run a "Taoyuan Industrial Co., Ltd." in partnership, and their business was booming at first. But then a wicked man came from the north, calling him Cao Cao, ho-(spitting) bah! Michel platini's nephew's neighbor, eldest brother, took advantage of his cousin's brother-in-law's niece, borrowed 5 million yuan to be a director, opened the Mende Group, and stole all our business. Now I can't even pay the water and electricity bills, so I have to find some overstocked products from the warehouse to go it alone.

Zhang: Er-this is not a backlog! This is an early morning pig that just killed Li! Fresh!

Guan (pulling Zhang away): All right, stop it!

First of all, in this market economy, competition is inevitable.

Zhang (breaking free): Competition? Then Cao Cao Group is rich and powerful. How can I compare with him?

Liu: Sir, that fellow Cao Cao is really bad, doing business and playing hooligans. All our guests are taken away by him, and we ignore him when we see him! Talk about the sorrow of the bankrupt boss. Who knows? Please toss a coin to give me some money to eat and order-ah-ah-ah-(suddenly I began to cry) ah-woo-woo-woo.

First: don't make you cry, don't make you cry! (to the audience) This Liu Bei just loves to cry!

Guan: I don't know, sir. My eldest brother is too soft-hearted (Tune "Too Soft Heart", sing) He is always too soft-hearted, too soft-hearted, and tears alone until dawn. He loves this factory without regrets, and I know he is not that strong at all. (To Liu) You are always too soft-hearted, and you have to bear your own debts. Doing business seems simple, but making money is too difficult. You and I both need exercise.

Liu (crying): Second brother!

Guan (hugging Liu and crying): Big Brother!

Zhang: Well, I said this gentleman, I don't think it's easy for you to perform here. You see, all three of us are in this state. Have you thought of a way to miss it? If your method works, see? You choose!

Number one: (to the audience) Hey! Well, you can tell at a glance that he is a hero! Well, just go into the water with his pig. I have to give them a good idea. (Turning to three people) Eh, I said three heroes. I have a humble opinion. I wonder if you three would like to hear it?

Liu: Go ahead, sir!

First: I see, you actually need a sales manager. Now the boss has to take care of everything and give him all the trivial things. Isn't it good that you enjoy success?

Liu: Mr. Wang's opinion is really good!

Guan: We're hiring now!

Liu, Guan and Zhang (quit)

Zhang (running back hurriedly): Hey hey! Sir, if you win like this, I'll send you two pairs of first-class pigs into the water! Let's go (after Liu Guan)

First (and then), alas, there are three people in our family! Take three pairs!

Act ii

A table, a chair. Next to it is a wooden sign, posted on the recruitment revelation)

Zhang: This job advertisement has been posted for more than a month. Many people came, but it was useless. They are both too tired to go on. Today, I come to watch the class! (walks to the table and shouts to sit down) Hey, the recruitment has started! And breathing. get up here !

Zhuge (wearing a doctor's uniform, a doctor's hat, a pair of black-rimmed glasses and a diploma. Singing and playing with Farewell My Concubine) I-standing in the hunting wind, I wish I could be president! Hope-heaven, everywhere, diploma in hand, ask the world who is a hero! I-standing in the hunting wind, I hope I can become president! Hope-heaven, everywhere, diploma in hand, ask the world who is a hero! There are all kinds of jobs in the world. Why, I don't have anyone to use them? The school said that you were assigned to wait at home for two years, and my pockets were empty-(to Zhang) In my heart, you are the heaviest! Please use me quickly! I will organize the production and manage the operation. (to the audience) whoever uses it will be red! I will protect him and be a tycoon! If you want to be a hero, come and hire me Wolong! (Get down on one knee and pretend to be a "thinker")

Zhang: Huh? What are you doing?

Zhuge (holding glasses) You, are you the boss?

Zhang (it is inappropriate to be called "boss" for the first time)? Ah, yes, yes, I'm the boss! (smiling)

Zhuge (running to Zhang and kneeling): Boss, have pity on me!

Zhang (startled, then recovered) What? Do you want to eat? No way! Let's go! Let's go!

Zhuge: Oh, no, boss, you misunderstood! I'm here to apply. Look, this is my diploma.

Zhang (turning the diploma upside down and pretending to be serious) Ah, let me see. Uh-huh, oh. this ...

Zhuge: Boss, you, you have it backwards!

Zhang: Huh? Hum, I, I have seen it this way since I was a child!

Zhuge: Ouch ~ ~ Well, you are really good!

Zhang: That's right! Hey, don't just talk about me. Tell me about you. Please introduce yourself first.

Zhuge: My name is Zhu and his name is Kong Ming. ...

Zhang: Then what can you do?

Zhuge (Lai Spirit): I can do too much! I'll line up my troops!

Zhang: It's no use! I don't fight anymore!

Zhuge: I have the final say!

Zhang: Oh, I didn't realize you were still a monster!

Zhuge: This, this, that's right! I will also use ingenuity!

Zhang (exultation): Can you use ingenuity?

Zhuge (glad to finally have a door) Yes! Yes!

Zhang (deadpan): What is ingenuity?

Zhuge (almost died) Cough! (licking his tongue) Well, for example. Enjoying that year, I had a big fire in Bowangpo, which made Cao Jun abandon his helmet (taking out a lighter from his pocket, singing and twisting, like a cramp, extremely narcissistic). You are like that, a fire! The blazing flame (twisting my ass hard again) burned me!

Zhang (impatiently): Yes! That's right. Stop shivering there! Like that pig with a fever!

Zhuge: You! Why are you cursing?

Zhang: What should I do if I scold you? I kill pigs, that's my temper! Just when you said pig, I was inspired again. Let me ask you something! What pig is sick and can't eat any more?

Zhuge: Well, well, I don't kill pigs. How should I know?

Zhang: You don't even know what a sick pig is. What else do you know?

Zhuge: What do I know? I don't know anything. I am the famous Zhuge Liang! Haven't you heard of Zhuge Liang?

Zhang: What a Zhu Keliang dog! I've been killing pigs all my life, and I've never heard of any pig, his brother, who can shine!

Zhuge: This, this (pointing to Zhang in a rage) this, this kind of person also deserves to be the boss!

Zhang: What? what did you say ? Find a fight! (One foot kicked Zhuge Liang into a somersault)

Zhuge: Ouch! Oh, my God! (takes out another mirror from his pocket) My hairstyle is all messed up!

Zhang: Huh? Still not leaving? Find a fight!

Zhuge (seeing that the situation is not good, he hurried away)

Zhang (grabs Zhuge by the collar and the other foot) I'll give you another foot. Run faster!

Zhuge (rolling off the ground)

Zhang (sitting back in his chair): Whatever, make trouble!

Liu, Guan (two people rush to play)

Liu: Good brothers! Good brothers! Can a person who calls himself Zhu Gekongming apply today?

Zhang: You mean that Chu Keliang?

Guan: Yes!

Zhang: I was kicked out!

Guan: You!

Zhang: What's wrong with me? He doesn't even know what a sick pig is. What do I want him to do?

Guan: Pig! Pig! You know pigs! Go be a pig!

Zhang (monk scratching his head): What happened to the pig?

Liu: My dear brother doesn't know. I have an old friend named Xu who introduced me. Xu has a good eye for people, and Kong Ming is a real talent!

Zhang: (like a child who has done something wrong) So, what should I do?

Guan: Let's go. We'll invite him another day.

Liu: Alas! That's the only way!

Act iii

First of all (running on the court): ladies and gentlemen! Look at this! My story was all messed up by those three people. I have to ask Zhuge Liang today. Hey (behind him), where is this Zhuge Liang?

Guan: I heard that he sells steamed buns at the gate of the football field.

Liu: Then let's go and find him!

(Walking for a while)

Zhang: Hey, look! There he is!

Zhuge (wearing an apron, pushing a tricycle, behind a car full of buns): Hot buns! Hot buns! Doctor brand hot buns! 25 cents each! Huh? The game is over! I'll go! (Take two steamed buns in hand, run a few steps, tune the theme song "The Cup of Life" of the 98' World Cup, and imitate Ricky Martin in dance steps) It looks white and feels hot. Please guess what this is. Not only can you watch it, but you can also relieve hunger. What are you hesitating about? Come and buy steamed bread. Fans, come here quickly. Please come and buy my hot buns and white buns! The game is wonderful. You are all hungry. Come and buy my hot buns and my white buns! (Hands held high, swinging from side to side) Steamed bread! Mo! Mo! Twenty-five cents each. Mo! Mo! Mo! Authentic white bread! Mo! Mo! Mo! Twenty-five cents each. Mo! Mo! Mo! Come and buy-steamed bread!

Liu, Guan, Zhang, Xian (clapping, clapping like an opera fan): OK!

Zhuge (startled)

Zhang: Hey, I said that pig!

Zhuge (looked up and saw Zhang, turned and ran)

Zhang (catching up with Zhuge, grinning grimly) Ha ha ha, I said Mr. Zhuge Liang!

Zhuge: You, you, what are you doing!

Zhang: Don't be afraid! I tell you a good news! You have been officially hired by our Taoyuan Company!

Zhuge (overjoyed) Really?

Liu: Yes, sir, please be worshipped by the boy! (kneeling on the ground)

Zhuge (hastening to help): No way! No way! (recognizing Liu, feeling dizzy) ah!

Liu, Guan, Zhang and Xian (hold Zhuge quickly)

Zhuge: Master, it's you!

Liu: Yes! Military adviser! Unexpectedly, after two thousand years, we can meet again!

Zhuge: Master!

Liu: Military adviser!

Zhang: Ahahahaha, so it's a military adviser! (I patted Zhuge on the shoulder, and Zhuge almost fell to the ground) I haven't seen you for two thousand years, and you have grown so tall! Ha ha ha ha!

Zhuge (all fears have been removed, with a blank face): Are these three generals? Look at you, now you are white and fat, like an old lady, I don't recognize you! Ha ha! (Turn right first, hold the glasses) This must be Yun Chang, right?

Guan: Here comes Guan Yu.

Number one: Look at this guy's eyes!

Guan: Counselor, I regret letting Cao Cao go to Huarong Road!

Zhuge: Never mind! Look, everybody. (Pulls out a big stack of documents from his pocket) This is the evidence I collected about Cao Cao's smuggling, bribery and tax evasion! With these, you can sentence him to 800 years!

Zhang (learning Zhuge): 800 years! Then what the hell is he doing?

Everyone: Haha!

Liu: Go! Let's sue him now!

Guan, Zhang, Xian and Zhuge: Go!

Zhuge (rushes back to push his tricycle)

Zhang (recovering): What are you doing, sir?

Zhuge: I haven't sold out my steamed buns yet.

Zhang: Cough! Don't! (Pull Zhuge Liang down)

Zhuge (dragged by Zhang, pulling the car) steamed buns! Mo! Mo! Twenty-five cents each.

(At the end of the play)

Welcome to clap bricks

First act

On a pile of ruins in the city, there were two thin young people, one surnamed Zhang and the other surnamed Wang.

Wang: Why did you come back at this time?

Zhang: I dropped out again.

Wang: You finally couldn't help it?

Zhang: Yes, I'll go crazy if I keep walking.

Wang: Does your family know this time?

Zhang: I can't tell them.

Wang: What about A Ping?

Zhang: I lied to her that I came back for an internship, and I will tell her slowly later.

Wang: Last time you dropped out of school, she was desperate enough. You dropped out of school this time, and she is not young. How long will she wait for you?

Zhang: No way. I really can't stand living without fantasy.

A brief silence.

Wang said with a smile, is there anyone else with you this time?

Zhang said with a smile, there are three dormitories in our school. One of them is like me, and the other one failed.

Wang said with a smile, you are really a poisonous weed. You will poison one or two ignorant youths everywhere-what are you going to do next?

Zhang: Go to A Ping's house. I want to start with the script, and then write some fairy tales, and make my previous photos into a picture library.

Wang: It's not that easy.

Zhang: How do you know if you don't do it?

Wang: First of all, we must solve the problem of survival. ...

Zhang: There you go again. I'm just looking for a way to combine my life with my dream.

Wang: What if they can't be combined?

Zhang: That's not possible. At best, it will only get worse.

Wang: Don't you miss Ping?

Zhang bowed his head and said nothing.

Wang: I don't object to the pursuit of ideals. I just think you should get a job first, and then take your time when you solve the problem of survival.

Zhang: You can't grasp the future. As soon as you enter the door, you can't help it. No matter how prescient you are, you can't see what is waiting for you, just like what happened after you opened the door to this job-are you still you at that time? Is there a simple ideal?

The king sighed softly.

Zhang: Do you know Matt Damon and Ben Affleck?

Wang: Yes.

Zhang: I mean their relationship. They were good friends, went to Hollywood together, started writing plays together, and finally got ahead. Do you understand what I mean?

Wang: This also requires certain conditions.

Zhang: You mean not yet? What time is it now? Or will you recognize each other when the time is right? Is there a tacit understanding?

Wang: I'm not as crazy as you, and I'm not desperate. But if you are Marx, I am willing to be Engels to support you.

Zhang said with a smile: Hehe, well, wait until you think it's appropriate. -Have you seen The Little Prince?

Wang: Not yet. I've been very busy at work recently.

Zhang: Read it carefully and tell me how you feel after reading it.

Wang: I will.

……

Act ii

In the dark night, under the dim street lamp of the bus platform, Wang He is a terrible young man. His surname is Ren.

Wang: Zhang came to see me today.

Ren Jing: What's the matter?

Wang: He dropped out of school again.

Ren smiled and said, poet, what a fucking poet!

Wang: But I think his heart is actually very painful and confused.

Ren smiled and said, if a poet doesn't suffer, who suffers?

Wang: Do you think it is a pity that you didn't become a poet when you were young?

Ren: It's a pity not to be a poet, and it's also a pity to be a poet. Only fucking regrets are true, and everything else is empty.

Wang bowed his head and smiled.

……

Act iii

Three months later, in the garden full of buds, Wang and Zhang.

Wang: How's it going recently?

Zhang: I wrote two fairy tales and a short play, but neither was good. I feel like I'm not in the mood.

Wang: Still writing?

Zhang: I found a job. -Being a photographer in a wedding photo studio, although the salary is meager, I finally have the opportunity to contact professional models.

Wang was surprised: Really? -Good! You can kill two birds with one stone by practicing photography and making a living.

Zhang: It's just that the salary is too little.

W: That's all right. Take your time. With good skills, wages will naturally go up.

Zhang: Have you seen The Little Prince?

Wang: Yes, this is an unusual fairy tale, but I don't think it is as magical as you said.

Zhang: Tell me about it.

Wang: The author wants to express some views on the world through The Little Prince, including the fundamental needs of people and the nature of the relationship between people, but his views are too simple. After all, they are not the opinions of one family.

Zhang: Don't you think the simple heart of the little prince is what people should have? And how stupid those secular hearts are.

Wang: That's too idealistic. It is impossible to exist in the real world, so it can only be written as a fairy tale.

Zhang: As long as you are smart enough to get along with secular people and keep the heart of a little prince, that's enough.

Wang: Living in the secular world will inevitably pollute the soul.

Zhang: So we should pursue it as long as we do our best.

Wang: Maybe. I didn't think about it.

Zhang: How have you been recently?

Wang: Same as before, no vitality. In your words, there is no illusion.

Zhang laughed: haha, you finally understand.

W: Well, let's not talk about it. Let's talk about it later.

Zhang looked at his watch and said, I should go. I am going to miss the bus. Think about what I said before.

……

Act IV

A month later, during the day, next to the bus stop, Wang and Ren.

Ren: What's wrong?

Wang: I resigned.

Ren: I knew this day would come when I met you. Does Zhang know?

Wang: Go to see him tomorrow and tell him.

Ren smiled and said that poets have poetry friends. What's next?

Wang: Do what you want.

Ren smiled and said, I'll go to work first. Show me a good poem first.

……

Act v

The next day, deep in the forest, Wang was waiting for someone. Zhang appeared with a big smile.

Wang: Why is it so late?

Zhang: I just sent something home to my boss and was delayed.

Wang: I have something to tell you.

Zhang: I also have something to tell you.

Wang: Then you should go first.

Zhang said excitedly that the boss talked to me the other day and said that he would promote me-

Wang frowned.

Zhang: He will open a new store in a while. He will hand over the responsibility of the old store to me and promote me as a manager.

W: oh.

Zhang: At that time, my salary will be three times that of now, and I will also pay social security.

W: oh.

Zhang: He called me that day, which made me very mysterious. As soon as he opened his mouth, he said, do you know what our company lacks most now? It is a gift. Shit! A total of just a few people, but also-talent! Then he said that the company wanted to expand its business, and he couldn't take care of the old shop. He told me that I think you are a talented person, smart and practical, and I will leave this piece to you in the future. Shit! ……

W: oh.

Zhang: I think it will be almost the same in two months.

Wang: A Ping must be very happy, too.

Zhang said with a smile, yes, she is more excited than me.

Wang: Then you did a good job.

Zhang: Tell me about you.

Wang: It's no big deal. I met a girl the other day and broke up after talking for two days.

Zhang smiled and said, No wonder it's so deep today. I was baptized by a woman.

Wang smiled bitterly.

Zhang smiled with a self-deprecating tone and said, that's when I started to enter the door of business. If you engage in art in the future, I will definitely support you.

Wang said with a smile, are you Engels?

Zhang said with a smile, I am Engels.

Zhang looked at his watch and said, I have to go back. I have a job this afternoon.

Wang: You have worked hard.

Zhang: I know.

Zhang came out and passed Wang. Wang was left alone in the depths of the forest. Wang turned and looked in Zhang's direction.

……

Act VI

In the dark night, under the dim street lamp of the bus platform, Wang appeared wandering.

Ren smiled and said, Did you write this poem?

Wang didn't speak.

Ren laughed: Hehe, but I think you are becoming more and more like a poet. Is the little prince that Lao Zhang gave you still there? I have nothing to do. Lend it to me.

W: I lost it.

……

(End)