A 46-year-old middle-aged woman in rural America has both children and a reliable husband. Why did she choose to cheat?

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"This exact love comes only once in a lifetime."

This moving and sad confession comes from the movie Bridges of Madison County.

However, such a beautiful and romantic love is a taboo love that is not recognized by society. This film tells the story of an extramarital affair between an ordinary housewife and a freelance photographer in Madison County, USA.

One summer day, her husband and children went out to participate in activities, and the housewife Francesca was alone at home. She sleeps leisurely on the sofa, listening to music, blowing the cool summer breeze and enjoying the rare leisure. ?

The most anxious time for the sun is noon. Francesca met Robert Kincaid, a photographer who was driving to the door and asked for directions. The enthusiastic Francesca offered to be his guide. Robert specially sent her a bunch of wild flowers to show his gratitude. Francesca thinks Robert is a gentleman and a good man, so she invites him to dinner at home.

After a long time, they fell in love and spent four unforgettable days together, which developed into a long-term relationship.

The extramarital affair movie The Bridges of Madison County, which was released on 1996 and became popular all over the world, was nominated for an Oscar and was selected as one of the top ten movies of the year in Film Handbook. Many people commented that this is one of the few movies that made extramarital affairs so touching.

The short four-day love affair makes the hero and heroine miss each other all their lives.

Does love really have such great magic? ?

I don't deny whether there is true love between Francesca and Robert. I am even as deeply moved as many people. However, I think the reasons behind women's infidelity are actually more worth pondering than the affair that moved them.

Because it is obvious that Francesca has a comfortable life and a happy family. Her husband Richard has a big farm in the American countryside, and the family lives in a beautiful garden house. The children are smart, and the husband is reliable and loyal. She has almost all the worldly happiness that women expect, but she still cheated the 65-year-old photographer Robert when she was young (about 40 years old), and she has been deeply immersed in this elusive relationship for the rest of her life. Why on earth is this?

After watching the movie twice, I found that there are three main reasons:

0 1

Francesca was originally a romantic and beautiful Italian girl. After marrying honest and upright American husband Richard, she followed him to Madison, and they lived a quiet and stable life together.

Perhaps, there was love between two people at the beginning, but love could not stand the test of time and plain life. In the trivial routine day after day, the once love finally turned into a stagnant pool.

Such a marriage may seem happy and stable to outsiders, but in fact, there are already many internal crises. As long as the outside world throws a pebble, the stagnant water will ripple.

Robert's unexpected intrusion ignited Francesca, a middle-aged married woman's strong desire for love.

There is a small detail in the movie. To thank Francesca for leading the way, Robert specially picked a bunch of small daisies for her. Francesca was flattered when she took the flowers handed by Robert. Her husband has not sent her flowers for a long time. ?

It should be at that moment that Francesca took a fancy to Robert.

In another scene, under the Roman bridge, Robert picked up his camera and took many pictures of Francesca in front of him. Obviously, he wants Francesca, a beautiful woman, to stay in his lens forever.

Francesca looks shy to be appreciated so closely by a strange man. The long-lost girl's heart is surging again. She felt the long-lost affection between men and women.

However, what about her and her husband Richard?

When Robert asked about her husband, her answer was: "He is very good, responsible, noble and reliable", but she didn't mention their feelings.

Perhaps, more than ten years of marriage has already exhausted their love. Husband has no mind to maintain love, but wife always looks forward to her husband's love.

"Reunion with Love: Through the Fog of Intimacy" wrote:

The nature of the relationship between men and women determines its own instability, and it is easy to meet challenges with the passage of time. So we often say that marriage needs to be managed.

Love in marriage, many times, we can't expect it to happen naturally, but we need to maintain it deliberately.

However, deliberately maintaining love will inevitably be hard, but it may still be much better than letting love disappear into crisis.

If Richard can care more about his wife's feelings, interact with her more, and his wife can care more about her husband, maybe their marriage will not be here.

02

After marriage, women's contribution to the family is taken for granted, and even less understood and respected.

Francesca devoted herself wholeheartedly to the family, took care of the children and supported her husband after marriage, but she was not appreciated and respected. In fact, her heart is lonely.

Francesca's son and daughter are all grown up, but they almost never communicate with their mother. Family life seems warm, but in fact it is cold and distant.

There is a scene in the film. In the morning, Francesca prepares breakfast for the children while listening to audio programs. When my daughter gets up, she goes to the restaurant and immediately changes to what she likes. In this family, the mother's needs are ignored.

At breakfast, children also ate their own food. Both the son and daughter enjoyed the rich food carefully prepared by their mother, and there was no emotional and eye contact with their mother during the whole process. Francesca aside could not conceal her lonely expression.

On the other hand, the husband doesn't seem to know his wife. In the whole film, there are few scenes of showing love to his wife. It seems that I just take my wife's contribution to the family for granted.

When talking about why she didn't go out to work, Francesca said, "Richard doesn't like my job."

Robert respects her everywhere. When getting along with Francesca, as long as she says "no", he won't insist. Afraid of being gossiped, she left the city next door to her hometown with Francesca.

Francesca wanted to elope with him very much, but she was caught in a huge contradiction because of her indecision about her family and children. Robert didn't complain or criticize this, but comforted: "I will stay here for a few more days, and you can make a decision later."

He wants her to be responsible for each other's feelings He certainly hoped that Francesca would fly away with him, but he also hoped that Francesca's final decision was well thought out. So, he didn't impose any wishes on Francesca.

From beginning to end, he never forced Francesca to do anything, but expressed his feelings sincerely.

This understanding and respect for Robert made Francesca crazy. Robert understands and respects Francesca. Maybe this is the essence of love.

After marriage, many women give up their ideals and return to their families, but they are not understood and recognized by their families and husbands. Their contribution and value are not recognized or even seen. That's the most desperate.

Therefore, Francesca, a middle-aged woman who gave up her personal development and chose to retreat to her family, was not recognized, happy and respected. Right in front of her eyes, a gentle, interesting and well-educated Robert appeared. She threw herself into his arms without hesitation, looking for love and comfort.

03

Francesca in the movie is a full-time housewife. She has no job of her own. The focus of her life is on her husband and children. Her activities are probably limited to rural towns, and even she has no time to develop her hobbies.

However, Francesca was also a young woman before she got married. Like poetry, music and other literature and art, full of curiosity and yearning for the outside world.

She used to be a teacher, but after she got married, she became a housewife confined to the kitchen and at home because she could not get her husband's support.

Without career value, family value can not be affirmed. When children grow up, they are no longer close to themselves, and their husbands are only nominal partners. Francesca, a middle-aged woman, is increasingly unable to find herself, and her heart is extremely depressed. She urgently needs to find a breakthrough to catch her breath.

When she had dinner with Robert, they talked about Ye Zhi's poems on a quiet summer night. Robert told her about his wandering career as a photographer, his extensive knowledge and wonderful past, which was completely different from her ordinary life in a rural town. Her parents were short. Such an interesting and romantic man has a fatal attraction to Francesca. ?

The conversation with Robert reminded her of her glorious girlhood and her dreams.

Marriage is boring, but love is full of vitality.

Robert also fell in love with this kind and romantic Francesca:

Living in a foreign country, Francesca's heart is lonely, dull and narrow, which makes everything about Robert so fresh and interesting to her, as if a ray of light shone into her plain reality.

In other words, Robert's life is exactly what she envies and longs for. Francesca does not necessarily love Robert, but his freedom, chic, full of surprises and challenges.

Such a lifestyle is doomed to be impossible for Francesca, a rural housewife.

Furthermore, Francesca fell in love with another self. That is a completely different person from her in reality, but she is eager to be.

And the love that makes them relive their lives is precisely the best annotation of "what they can't get is the best".

The filter of love magnifies each other's beauty and advantages, but marriage is inseparable from daily necessities. Even if they love each other so much, once they are really together, who can be sure that they will become immortal couples?

Love awakens sleeping women and exposes the truth of many married women's infidelity.

Imagine that if Francesca had a job or occupation that she liked and devoted herself to developing her hobbies, the unruly and unrestrained Robert might not shine so brightly in her eyes. Just an old man with a little grace, so that she won't have the idea of eloping. After eloping, she will spend the rest of her life reminiscing.

When a woman has the best self, when she is in a state of abundance, external troubles and provocations cannot easily shake her firm, happy and stable heart.

04

Of course, this film not only caused me to think about marriage, but also made the hostess stick to family values. The two of them never forget their sincere love, which was really touching.

Although Francesca, a middle-aged woman, longs for love, her final choice is very rational.

Even though she really loves Robert and has picked up the box and put it down several times, she doesn't want to make the whole family suffer because of her elopement.

She can even think that even if she takes Robert away, she may not be able to live a happy life.

The last farewell in the rain pushed the whole play to a climax. It is raining cats and dogs outside. Robert's car is in front, waiting for frans Sika's initial and final choice. He refuses to move, while frans Sika in the car is holding the handle and has shed tears ...

Love and family, which one to choose, she fell into great entanglement and pain, but still restrained her desperate heart to escape with her lover.

Such rational and restrained love is beautiful, heavy and moving.

Without waiting for Francesca, Robert finally left Madison sadly and never got married again.

Francesca has become a good wife and mother again. It was not until her husband died that she tried to find Robert, but she failed.

A few years later, Francesca also died. In her will, she asked her children to scatter her ashes in Romanjo: I belonged to my family before my death and to Robert after my death.

At first, the children didn't understand their mother's decision, but they learned about her past and mental journey. They understood their mother and began to reflect and examine their marriage and significance.

Similarly, after watching this movie, I have more understanding and sentiment about marriage and love.

Give freedom and gain family.

Take responsibility and enjoy ownership.

That summer's graceful meeting, regrettable ending and painful choice taught us to re-examine the weight of love and responsibility, rethink the pursuit of inner self and the meaning of marriage.

Perhaps this is why The Bridges of Madison County became a classic.

Dear friends, thank you for reading at the end. I'm Xiao Wei. I have been studying for three years, and I have successfully achieved economic independence and free time. Reading has changed me. I hope it can light up your future path.

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