I found out it was a mistake to return to the original company. Should I leave immediately?

I believe many mothers have this question, so we need to understand the psychological development characteristics of babies first, so that we can take care of the baby's psychological needs and let the baby grow up healthily.

1. The psychological development stage of infants

1. Pre-attachment period

Babies are in the pre-attachment period between 0 and 3 months old. At this time, babies often An indiscriminate social smile occurs. At this time, they treat strangers and familiar people equally, and they are open to teasing and hugs from adults. In fact, this is also a way for babies to protect themselves unconsciously.

At this stage, the baby who has received timely gratification will think that the world he/she lives in is safe and happy. A child who never gets immediate gratification will think that the world he/she lives in is more painful, less safe, and less friendly. At this time, whether the child's parents provide timely satisfaction to the child affects not the child's attachment to the parent, but their view of the world. Therefore, they cry because they hope that the outside world will solve their problems in time, but not necessarily to receive the comfort and embrace of their mothers.

The "timely gratification" we are talking about here is not "holding the child as soon as he cries", but meeting the child's specific needs. First of all, we need to determine which need the child is expressing by crying at this time: is he hungry? Have you pooped or peed? Is it hot or cold? Sleepy? Still sick? Parents need to make judgments and checks, such as: to see if it is time for the child to breastfeed, to check whether the diaper needs to be changed, to feel whether the child's hands and back of the neck are warm, to determine whether the child is wearing too much clothes, and to check whether the child is wearing too much. Check whether the child's belly is bloated, and gently stroke the child's belly to help the child expel gas. The child may also be sleepy. Parents can put the child to sleep. If the reason cannot be found, the child's temperature should be measured to see if he is sick. If the child's body temperature is too high, High need to go to the hospital in time. Therefore, this stage does not necessarily involve hugging, but solving the child's problems in a timely manner and meeting his/her needs. In this way, the child will be satisfied in time, and the happiness will be high. The mother will not have to hold the child all the time, and it will be more relaxed.

2. Establishment period of attachment relationship

When the baby enters 3-6 months, the baby begins to react differently to people, including the mother, other familiar people and strangers. People started to react differently. There is a greater preference for the mother. At this time, the baby will show more smiles and closeness in front of the mother, but less in front of other family members. Although the baby is not shy at this time, he will start to show affection towards strange adults. More cold.

This is actually a transitional stage. Especially in the second half of this stage, the child crying may be because he needs the mother's closeness and comfort. At this time, after checking and meeting the child's needs in a timely manner, if the child still cries like a baby, the mother should pick up the child to meet the child's emotional needs.

3. The period of clear attachment relationship

The baby is in the clear period of attachment relationship from about 6 months to 2 years old. The baby is more concerned about the existence of the mother and cries when the mother leaves. Shouting to prevent the mother from leaving; when the mother is away, the child will show obvious anxiety. Most others cannot replace the mother to make the baby happy. At this time, the child begins to have obvious separation anxiety. When the mother returns, the baby immediately appears very happy.

When the mother is by the child's side, he/she can play and explore the surrounding environment with peace of mind. At this time, the mother is the source of his/her sense of security. All this shows that the baby has obvious attachment to the mother. At the same time, babies will start to become nervous, fearful, and even cry when meeting strangers. This condition may last until around 2 years of age.

At this time, mothers, please note: At this time, the child has realized that the "weak" self and the "almighty" mother are two separate individuals. This is already a leap for the child. and challenge. Therefore, children need to have enough sense of security to help themselves adapt and accept this reality. At this time, babies will have obvious separation anxiety when they are separated from their mother. Their crying at this time is to get closeness and comfort from their mother, and to ensure that their mother loves and cares for them. So from now on, if other problems have been ruled out and the child still cries, the mother should pick up the child unconditionally and quickly to satisfy the child's sufficient trust and security.

2. How to decide whether to hold a baby when it cries?

1. Around 0-3 months

Babies aged 0-3 months are in the pre-attachment period, that is, they have not yet had any need for attachment to their mother, so they cry because To solve the problem, when the child cries, parents should check one by one for various problems that may arise in the child. The problem is solved and the child stops crying. At this time, the parents do not have to hold the child.

2. Around 3-6 months

Babies aged 3-6 months are in the attachment establishment period. They are transitioning to the attachment clarity period, especially at the end of this stage. Halfway through, if the child's physical needs are checked and met, but the child still cries, the child needs to be hugged, and parents need to pay attention to meeting the child's emotional needs.

About 3. 6-24 months

Babies after 6 months are in the clear attachment period. At this time, they have already made it clear that they are separated from their almighty mother, so when When the mother is not around, they will have obvious separation anxiety. At this time, the children's emotional needs need to be adequately met. At this stage, hug them when they should, and help the children build a sense of security and trust in their parents.

4. Extra chapter

Delayed gratification and frustration education should wait until the child is 3 years old, and children develop sooner or later. You need to ensure that your children have established a sufficient sense of security. This aspect can only be cultivated appropriately without being hurt or destroying the trust previously established in the parents.