How do people who lack love in childhood complete self-salvation? ——Film review of "The Life of the Disliked Matsuko"

I have never seen a movie like "The Life of the Disliked Matsuko". The photography style and OST are like a dream fairy tale, but the characters and plot are so sad. The contradictions are full of joking and irony, especially at the end, when Songzi, who has fallen repeatedly and given up on life for many years, regains the courage to face life for the last time, he is actually beaten to death by several naughty children, which is really the beginning and end of the story. Echoing, the tragic life began and ended as a middle school student, and this time, she never had the chance to stand up and face life with a smile.

The pine nuts staggered forward among the lawns under the stars, and died silently after struggling but failed. It can be said that the life of the pine nuts went back and forth like this. At the end, beside the filthy and smelly corpse covered in ragged and broken clothes, patches of flowers bloomed to praise her tenacious vitality and courage and give comfort to the moviegoers.

You see, she is the God who has a great love that can forgive the unforgivable, and who, despite being scarred, still climbs up the ladder to heaven with great radiance. The movie is over, and the director placed a poignant scene of Butterfly Lovers turning into butterflies at the end of the movie, bringing out the respectable and lovely side of Song Zi for enshrinement.

However, the fantasy scene where the whole family seems to be happy and vanishing into thin air cannot offset my lament for pine nuts. We should not forget his failed life, tragic experiences, and hateful environment. There are many "pine nuts" in reality. Her low self-esteem, avoidant personality, and resignation can be traced in my own body to some extent. We are also born as human beings, and we still have to continue to redeem ourselves outside the story and in reality.

The reason for Songzi's tragic experience lies in the character defects caused by the lack of love in childhood. My parents divorced when I was 3 years old, and I was raised by my grandparents. My grandfather was cold and violent, and often did sad things. As a "same kind", I can empathize with Songzi's psychology.

The father favored his frail sister and lacked care for her. In order to make her father smile, she had to humbly make faces and "please", which left a shadow. She could not help but show off when she was in a hurry. Make faces. She received too little positive feedback in childhood, which made Songzi appear extremely humble when receiving love. Even if her boyfriend was violent and incompetent, she would accept it, and then silently muttered "It's better than being alone."

A teacher once described me this way: a small thing can make you feel happy. What she said is very accurate, and this trait is because no matter what I did when I was a child, I never received positive feedback from my parents. For example, after taking the initiative to get up early to exercise, the comment I received was, "Look at how tough you are, you can't run fast, and you don't have good physical strength. I don't think you can be an athlete!" Such sarcastic words abound in daily life. Each sentence is like a needle piercing your skin. Although the pain is not severe, you can only bear it in silence. Over time, when your body is covered with needles like a hedgehog, you learn to self-enclose and protect yourself, and even unintentionally start to resist and sting people who try to get close to you.

Because there is too little positive feedback from the harvest, Songzi is not only humble when asking for things from others, but also extremely considerate and cautious. Song Zi, who was fat and inhuman, wrote a letter as thick as a book to the meat idol. She spent all her remaining strength and energy on the words. Although she waited for a reply day and night, she was ignored. This was a huge blow to her. of. In Japanese culture, it is very important not to cause trouble to others. In this environment, Matsuko, who has not been loved since childhood, is more accustomed to not asking for others and giving silently, so every request for love carries her whole body. The expectation of the heart, which is why a reply letter is so important.

Think about it, there are always people around you who are unwilling to celebrate birthdays and dare not organize a birthday party because they are worried that if they get nothing on the day that should be blessed and cared for, their souls will be greatly damaged, so just don’t mention it. Don't give yourself the chance to expect something.

Long-term suppression makes people feel inferior and weak, dare not express what they think, and gradually become unwilling to communicate with others. Songzi didn't dare to interrogate the student who stole the money, but instead used his own money to settle the matter, and then blamed himself for being incompetent while letting things snowball from bad to worse. Isn't it like someone who is used to being given good guy cards and doesn't dare to do anything in the workplace? Talking to you? When communicating with others, you are always incoherent, and you say the wrong thing after thinking about it later; when you are with the person you like, you are so nervous that he feels like a weirdo; gradually, you really become a "weird" , being alone and autistic has become a psychological comfort zone. Locking herself in and escaping from choices, when the man she eventually killed invited her to partner, she was completely indifferent to it. Since he was invited, she just went with it.

Every man Songzi meets shows her an almost pathological desire for love and her willingness to sacrifice everything for it. Another thing is that no matter what the situation, she always shows great endurance. This is the result of long-term repression, which can make people go to extremes, either twisted and crazy, or dead silence.

Countless times of extreme paranoia, like an inextricable cycle, led Songzi to death, leaving behind a swan song of "I'm sorry for being a human being".

So sad.

People with low self-esteem may have had similar thoughts at one time or another. Living a failed, miserable life without love is really unworthy of this glorious world.

Many people have tried to break free like Song Zi, but they still can't live a good life, right? To be honest, Songzi's tenacity in refusing to accept chaos is far beyond ordinary people, but he still has not escaped from the tragedy. We are all human beings, so what can we do?

Should such a big topic end with such irresponsible words as "Be brave enough to love, hate, and run"? You and I both know that chicken soup can warm the body, but it cannot cure the disease. Family and childhood are the crux of life that is difficult to get rid of. It is like those needle pricks on your body. It is easy to get in, but if you pull it out, the person may be disabled.

All I can do is acknowledge the existence of those needles, try not to escape from them, transform those unique experiences into soft power, and melt those hard and inhuman things; Reshape a strong self, cultivate self-confidence with knowledge and abilities in areas of expertise, form the energy to fight injustice at critical moments, and avoid being humble and dependent on others.

I have never shied away from my dual personality. It makes me cherish myself more and it is enough to stand up in the world.

As a human being, you should respect yourself and love yourself.

Keep improving yourself, you and I actually know what we are lacking, don’t we?