The key method is to solve the baby's separation anxiety.

For babies before 2 years old and children after 2 years old, the key method is to solve the baby's separation anxiety.

The baby has separation anxiety, but mommy is actually more anxious and fidgety all day. How should she lead her children through the separation anxiety in different development periods?

0? The key to separation anxiety of 2-year-old baby version 1: the starting time of separation anxiety

Babies begin to know strangers around 6 or 7 months, and gradually establish a "dependency relationship" with their main caregivers, that is, they regard their mothers as "safe fortresses" and dare to actively explore strange environments. When they feel threatened, scared or depressed, they will go back to their mother.

This "dependence" will reach its peak at 1 year and last until 1 year and a half. Studies show that attachment will affect children's future interpersonal social and emotional development, so babies with "safe attachment" will usually be happier, more cooperative and more trusting when they grow up, and show superior social skills at different stages!

Key two: satisfy sensory development and stabilize emotions with hugs.

"Attachment" requires a good process of positive interaction between the baby and the mother. If a baby feels anxious, depressed or uncomfortable, it will naturally want to cling to its mother. After several times, if the child finds that his mother can always cope well and feel safe, he will naturally be more confident to face such threats. Therefore, the more he doesn't hold the baby, the more he has to train deliberately, and the more serious his separation anxiety will be!

Key three: first demonstrate, let the baby imitate the mother's inquiry behavior.

Mother is like a safe fortress. Children will want to imitate their mother because they trust her. So when they arrive in a strange environment, please ask their mother to accompany them in the demonstration first, and reduce "Let's go! Try it yourself quickly! Language should make children feel safe and then leave their mother to explore the environment.

Key four: preview can slow down the baby's anxiety.

For children, unfamiliar environment, people and things are threats, which need to be recognized, understood and adapted. Therefore, if mommy can tell the child in advance, or even let the child get familiar with it with photos first, the child will adapt faster in that environment!

Key five: from touching to stabilizing emotions.

Tactile brush is a good helper for baby's emotional adjustment. 0? It is very important for 3-year-old children to develop sensory integration. Children with superior sensory processing ability will develop quickly and well!

If novice parents encounter children who are seriously anxious about the separation of their babies, they are also prone to crying and have poor emotional stability. You can try a tactile brush for infants to make them less sensitive through the correct * * *.

Key 6: Separation anxiety has nothing to do with breastfeeding!

Separation anxiety is actually related to the maturity of mental development and has nothing to do with breastfeeding. People around you should support breast-feeding mothers so that mothers are no longer anxious and worried.

Key 7: Reduce negative language for children!

After 8 months, the child actually understood the language of criticism in the environment. Parents' negative language towards their children will only make them more anxious. The longer they spend with their mother, the less willing they are to leave their mother to explore the environment, because they feel that the environment is full of threats, and they dislike this person even more, which will only make their crazy mother work harder!

Key 8: "Peekaboo" is a good helper to ease the anxiety of separation and establish the concept of object persistence.

0? There is an important game at the age of 3, which is hide and seek! Because this is a little game to let the baby know that his mother will disappear and reappear, it is precisely because the baby is worried that his mother will disappear and will not come back, and his mind is not yet mature, which leads to the wrong interpretation of "objects are eternal" and he will be anxious! So "hide-and-seek" is fun and meaningful. Mommy can try to lengthen the hiding time gradually!

Key 9: Remember to say goodbye to your child and practice every time.

When the mother wants to leave the child to go out, she must say goodbye to the child! Many elders will say don't say goodbye to their children and sneak away without crying. Actually, this is only temporary. When the child finds out, he will only be more anxious, cry harder and have a distrust of his mother. This safe attachment relationship will be destroyed or even more closely attached, so be sure to tell the baby when the mother will come back and say goodbye clearly.

Key 10: It's up to the baby to decide whether to give it to others or not!

If mommy wants the baby to get familiar with family and friends as soon as possible, mommy can accompany the baby and even hold the baby to play with family and friends. When the baby gradually plays away, the baby will naturally leave mommy to find someone to play with and prefer to be held.

Children over 2 years old have separation anxiety, but children over 2 years old have to deal with separation anxiety in a completely different way from 1 year-old babies because of the rapid maturity of their mental, language and emotional development. Appropriate separation experience will increase children's ability to be independent in the future.

The following eight methods can make children's separation anxiety behavior slow down and get through this dark period faster:

Key 1: Develop a set of fixed "separation" ceremonies to get children used to it.

The separation ceremony can be a simple waving goodbye or kissing goodbye. In addition to distracting, the key is that every separation ceremony is the same, and the child will feel at ease, because the child will connect to this ceremony faster, and then the mother will always come back.

Key 2: practice separation in a short distance for a short time.

In fact, mothers can clearly tell their children that they are going to wash dishes in the kitchen and come back later from the familiar environment, such as the distance between the kitchen and the living room, short-distance and short-time practice, so that the children can know that they will come back after separation.

Key 3: Try to set the separation time after a nap or a full meal.

Physiological conditions, such as children being tired or hungry, or not sleeping well the day before, will make separation anxiety more serious. Therefore, proper training should also choose the right time.

Key 4: When you are apart, try to keep your baby in a familiar environment or make the new environment feel familiar.

Nannies or other caregivers can be invited to take care of the baby at home. If the baby must leave home, let the baby bring familiar items (such as toys and supplies) with him.

Key 5: Fixed primary caregiver

Help the caregivers who take care of the baby not to change as much as possible, so that not only the caregivers can be familiar with the needs of the children, but also the children can be familiar with the caregivers.

Key 6: Leave if you want.

Tell the baby clearly that you are leaving, come back when the baby finishes some activities, and then say goodbye to the baby, don't send it there, otherwise the child will only be anxious for a long time, which is very strange. Aren't you coming back? Therefore, the mother should face it calmly in order to infect her children with emotions.

Key 7: Don't let children watch TV programs with horrible fighting scenes.

Don't let your baby watch such programs with you, and your baby is less likely to feel scared.

Key 8: Don't hug your child without begging.

The child is getting older and older, and has gradually left infancy. If he doesn't take the initiative to beg for hugs, he should have more time for independent activities, reduce the chances of children being held by their parents and sitting in dolls, and set a good bottom line.

Key 9: Five Correct Ways to Adapt to Kindergarten and Reduce Separation Anxiety

1. Preparing lessons step by step can reduce the problem of separation anxiety;

Find a playmate and interact with other children first. Remind children to play instead of learning. Participate in small group games or * * * study courses regularly. Go to school with your playmates or friends. Remind children that their mother is nearby and build a sense of security. Teach children more skills to share with other children. Help children find classmates with the same temperament to play with. Remind children to observe interesting places in school. Accompanied by my mother, I tried a half-day course in kindergarten. Let the children attend kindergarten courses for half a day independently first. Step by step, let the children attend kindergarten classes independently for a whole day. 2. Separating anxious children can make children take their favorite dolls and belongings to class, make them feel stable, or let siblings or neighbors stay in the same school.

Try to fix the class time as much as possible and make an agreement with the children. Try not to let children always leave last or second, which will make them feel uneasy and lonely.

3. For children who need the care of teachers more, parents should communicate with teachers more, provide children's interests and personality, let teachers teach students in accordance with their aptitude and help children adapt to the environment.

For children who are easily frustrated in the classroom, parents will ask their teachers about their children's progress in school every day. As long as there is some slight progress, they can be encouraged. Cultivate children's self-care ability, such as eating and going to the toilet, to avoid children being frustrated and teased.

5. Bring your child familiar with the kindergarten environment in advance (such as playing game equipment first) or try to read, so that the child is no stranger to kindergarten.

Wang Hongzhe's current position: Executive Director of Sensory Integration Research Center for Talented Leaders; Education: Ph.D. program in brain science (research and further study) of National Yangming Medical College; Experience: Being a guest of Dongsen's "I just know now" normal expert, "Please follow me like this" normal expert, Beijing Nanny Association, Peng Foundation's children lecturer book: "Are you doing the right thing to raise children? Child development experts teach you to learn brain science parenting easily and teach children something more important than IQ! Child development expert 2 1 brain potential class Facebook fan base: Wang Hongzhe parenting book

Text/genius leader Wang Hongzhe, headline photo of Zhang Yuying, CEO of Sensory Integrated Child Development Center; Pandora professional children's photography baby group photo; Mingxin photography (photographer Steven)