Original dream Wu photography

We have talked about Sanmao's whole general outlook on life and earlier experiences.

Now let's take a look at this set of classic tragic philosophy about her death. How does love bloom magical flowers?

First of all, everyone thought of the story about her and Jose, but before that, Sanmao's emotional experience was complicated and complicated, and now the script can't be written.

Now let's take a look at Sanmao's first love, which was in college.

She met a former primary school teacher and published two books, which were regarded as the great genius at that time-Liang Guangming.

At that time, Liang Guangming was studying in Sanmao's school. He is a few years older than Sanmao and belongs to Sanmao's senior.

Sanmao fell in love with the senior at that time, just like a follower who followed him every day. Senior Liang went to order noodles, and she also ordered the same bowl of noodles.

At first, Liang Guangming thought that primary school girls were just fanatical fans, but suddenly one day Sanmao appeared on the playground, wrote down a string of phone numbers in her hand, and turned and ran.

At that time, Liang Xuechang was stunned and didn't know how to react. Sanmao has run home and waited for the call. Sure enough, the phone call came and they started a magical love.

But I guessed the beginning, but I couldn't guess the end. In the early days of love, Sanmao's parents were very happy, because it was not good to distract their daughter.

But who ever thought, San Mao soon began to force marriage, asking the other party to marry himself immediately, while the two were still in college, and it was too early to talk about marriage before graduation.

So this incident made them have a big fight in the playground. Sanmao ran home and asked her parents to apply for passports to study in Spain. If he didn't apply for a passport, he chose to commit suicide.

Actually, San Mao just wanted to test Liang Guangming. If the other party promises herself, she will definitely tear up her passport and choose to get married.

But if so, it is doomed that there will be no later San Mao. As a result, Liang Guangming disagreed.

1967 With the roar of the plane, Sanmao's youth ended and she started a new life-traveling all over Qian Shan.

The price that perfectionists have to pay.

It can be seen from here that although Sanmao is a perfectionist, he pursues perfection and perfection, but there is a precious place that others do not have.

"choose and bear the price"

She is willing to really pay the price for her choice.

This is why young artists like Sanmao for so many years now, but they never become Sanmao in the end.

Because we just want to be the Qianshan who travels all over the world, but we don't want to be the Sanmao who is really willing to bear the price.

This is the real gap between them.

In our opinion, Spain is a developed capitalist country, where we can watch not only bullfighting, but also the first-class leagues in Spain.

But it was 1967, the period of the Cultural Revolution and the climax of the Cold War.

At that time, Spain was neither a NATO country nor a Warsaw Pact country, neither belonging to the capitalist camp nor to the Eastern Group.

It is equivalent to a fascist regime surviving alone.

At that time, Taiwan Province Province was ruled by the Chiang family and his son. If Taiwan Province compatriots went abroad to study, they would basically choose to go to the United States or Britain, and no one would choose to go to Spain.

Even then, many people had never heard of Spain.

Just like our students studying in Brazil or Mexico, although developed, it is a strange existence after all.

Therefore, San Mao's choice to go to Spain is really blackmailing her boyfriend. Once the blackmail fails, she will choose to bear the price.

But the price is quite heavy, because after San Mao went to Spain, he had almost no relatives and no reason, only an old friend of his father, Xu.

Besides, there is no one to rely on.

San Mao did nothing for a few months before he arrived in Spain, and his time was basically spent catching up on Spanish.

At that time, Xu arranged a particularly good university for San Mao, called the University of Madrid.

In such a good school, the corresponding Spanish requirements for philosophy majors are higher.

If you are majoring in science and engineering and don't have high language requirements, you can know a few basic formulas and master some basic technical terms. This set of languages can be communicated all over the world.

Philosophy is different, and the complicated and huge amount of words to master can be imagined.

However, Sanmao's ability is really great. Through his own efforts, he really didn't fail the exam and there was no problem. On the contrary, he learned easily.

030,000 water traveled all over Qian Shan.

Next, Sanmao wants to travel and has no money. At first, he could only play near Madrid, sit in a cafe, see the street view, watch the opera at the opera house, or go to an old church and listen to the old man playing the organ. ...

Later, even to save money, I gave up my dormitory, moved out to live by myself, ate bread with boiled water every day, and sometimes carpooled with friends to stay in a small hotel.

Even if she didn't eat or drink for a day, in order to save a trip, once she really wanted to improve her life and didn't want to tell her family that she was embarrassed, so she found a department store to be a model herself.

This is a part-time job that Sanmao later found in Germany. The other party wants an oriental model to sell oriental perfume.

Sanmao needs to recite a long list and answer every question asked by the customer. She worked in that department store for 10 days, working for more than ten hours every day, and her feet were swollen.

Spain was relatively backward at that time, and its consumption level was not high, but Germany was different, and the pressure of life was also great.

At that time, San Mao's monthly living expenses were only 100 US dollars, the rent was 65, and the rest was 35 to maintain daily life.

During this period, Sanmao did a lot of work, worked as a tour guide, model and librarian, and tried every means to make money to travel to Europe.

She went to many places, such as Rome, Amsterdam, Poland, Czech Republic, Denmark ... She traveled all over Europe in those years.

Sanmao's appearance and dressing style, childish voice and rare oriental beauty made boys in Spain and Europe like it very much at that time, including a rich second generation doctor of chemistry in Japan.

It is said that the other family has the largest Japanese restaurant in Madrid. He especially likes Sanmao, but Sanmao refused.

Because Sanmao can't tolerate any dissatisfaction in love, she doesn't want to marry into a rich family, because her personality can't be a canary.

Next, Sanmao met a German boyfriend named Jorgen, and they met to study at Goethe Institute in Berlin. It was the time when Sanmao went to a department store to be a model.

This Jorgen is a strict German, meticulous in everything, and a little giant. His family plans to train him as a diplomat in the future.

Because being a diplomat, my wife must have a certain appearance in the future, which has become a canary of Sanmao.

Sanmao won't choose this kind of life, and the last two people will go away.

Then 197 1, Sanmao went to the United States alone and continued to live a wandering life in the United States, living in a small apartment, taken care of by her brother and a friend, a doctor of chemistry.

Later, under the care of President Zhang, Sanmao returned to Taiwan Province Provincial Cultural University as a philosophy teacher. In this process, the original doctor of chemistry kept calling to be with him, but San Mao never agreed.

On the contrary, there was a painter named Deng Bochuan who wanted to marry Sanmao. One day, he knelt in front of Sanmao, holding a ring in one hand and flowers in the other.

Sanmao felt that she had met true love, so she agreed to each other, but something dramatic happened and a woman found the door.

She said that she was Deng Bochuan's wife, and Deng Bochuan actually asked Sanmao's family for a breakup fee after the incident was revealed. Therefore, this is a real love rat.

After this nightmare, Sanmao's father took her to play tennis in order to let Sanmao relax. As a result, the tennis was picked up by a foreigner in his forties.

This is a German teacher. They traveled all over Taiwan Province Province together. A year later, the German teacher proposed to Sanmao, who once again believed in love and agreed.

When choosing the auspicious day of the zodiac, no one expected that suddenly a cerebral hemorrhage fell down and blood dripped from the mouth and ears.

The other party died in Sanmao's arms, on the way to the hospital.

This incident dealt a great blow to San Mao. I can't take it anymore. After swallowing a lot of sleeping pills, I'm going to commit suicide. I don't want to talk to anyone in the back for a long time. ...

Therefore, these stories look like a script to us, and no one will believe them even if they are written.

Because it's exaggerated, but it's all true!

The ultimate destination of love

Anyone who is familiar with Sanmao should also know, and then Jose will appear, just like some things are doomed to be done badly. These people in front are paving the way for Jose.

When Sanmao was studying in Spain, she often went to Uncle Xu's house. Sanmao saw a handsome boy passing by his neighbor's house one day.

After that, San Mao often went to Xu Bobo's house. After a long time, the two met.

Spanish direct transliteration -Jose.

San Mao first called it why Xi, but the boy couldn't write, so it became "He". He was eight years older than Sanmao, when Jose was still in high school.

But they fell in love at first sight, played baseball and snowball fights together, and went to the flea market together without money.

One day, Jose said to Sanmao in the gale, My biggest wish in my life is to have a small apartment with a wife like you. I will make money to support you. You wait for me for six years. I will go to college for four years, then do military service for two years, and then we will get married after I finish military service. what do you think?

At that time, San Mao was much older than him, and felt that there was definitely no result, so he refused Jose. In these six years, Sanmao experienced various life changes, lying in bed after swallowing sleeping pills.

Suddenly one day I received a letter from Jose.

Six years have passed, and there are still two years to complete military service. could you wait for me ？

At this time, she suddenly remembered the six-year agreement, and life rekindled hope, so she wrote a long letter to Jose in English, decided not to wait any longer, and then went to Spain to find her love again.

That was in 1973. Three years after San Mao returned to Taiwan Province Province, he packed his bags and chose poetry and came to Spain from afar.

This story is so romantic that it sounds like a romantic love script now. Six years ago, the grass snake gray line traveled thousands of miles, and six years later it finally came true.

Sanmao went back to Spain to find a part-time job, writing articles for magazines, which is a fixed income, while waiting for Jose while working.

One day, Sanmao went to a nearby city to play. When he came back, a roommate told him that a boy had made a dozen phone calls and went to a friend's house for fear of an accident.

After entering the room, he was suddenly blindfolded. A boy hugged him from behind and carried her around the room. This is Jose's return.

Sanmao, 13 years old, once predicted that she could marry a Spanish husband. Now, this sentence has been confirmed by herself.

Facts have proved that Jose is indeed a good husband. He not only fulfilled his promise, married Sanmao and went home, but also ran out to find a place to open a gallery, trying to earn money to support his family.

One day Jose asked San Mao, What are your plans for next year?

At that time, San Mao was moving bread for the sparrow in the square and casually said, I want to live in the desert for a while.

The two hit it off and started their journey.

Jose really went to Xisha Hara to find a place to live. Western Sahara was a Spanish colony at that time, so it was more convenient for Spaniards to go without passports.

Jose and Sanmao planned to get married in the desert, but Sanmao's parents came in with a sum of money, saying it was dowry money, but Jose didn't let Sanmao spend a penny in order to fulfill his promise.

And found a job there, arranged it properly, and San Mao followed.

They rented a three-bedroom house in that place, with only a big mattress and a table at home.

Sanmao himself said: We have no house, no car, no bedstead, no wardrobe, no gas, no furniture, no water and electricity, no food, no clothes, and not even a flower and dowry for the bride.

There were no dresses and no relatives to congratulate them on their wedding. Only the gift from Jose is a complete camel skull.

This is a skull discovered by Jose after a long journey in the desert, and it is the only unique wedding gift in the world.

In order to find this skull, Jose completely changed himself, with rough hands and chapped skin.

Next, the two settled in the Sahara, in addition to transforming their rough houses and various skylights.

Sanmao also realized her childhood dream and became a garbage collector. The treasures she picked up outside were transformed into furniture by Hexi, the tires picked up in the trash can became sofas, and the empty water bottles she picked up became thorns planted in the desert. ...

Jose asked a colleague to pay his salary for the first 1 month, so he rented a car for the extra half month and spent his honeymoon in the depths of the desert.

But when they came back, they found that their home had been ransacked by neighbors, and even the nails in the tent had been dug away.

Because they were relatively backward, men at that time practiced polygamy, including the remnants of slavery.

There are only male doctors in the hospital, so women don't go to the hospital when they are sick, so Sanmao teaches them word application and mathematics.

The job that Hexi is looking for is a very hard job. I was digging in a mine near the mine. At that time, I was a diving worker in charge of mining. Besides the danger, the biggest problem is to work overtime at night, and it's a long way, so I can only come back once a week.

So Sanmao doesn't have a TV, newspapers and magazines, or even a radio in that house. What should Sanmao do at home alone?

She started writing again, and 1' s article called "Hotel in the Desert" was submitted to the supplement of United Daily News, signed by her husband Ping.

A few months later, Ping wrote back an article to Sanmao, expressing his acceptance of the manuscript.

This makes San Mao Jose the center of the spotlight. From then on, people who didn't know were very interested in these two strange people living in the Sahara desert and sent all kinds of food and clothes from all over the world.

Later, Hexi took Sanmao to travel to Andalusia for more than 20 days, and the two planned to write their stories into a book.

This is the story of the Sahara and the crying camel.

In this process, two people made a decision to collect photos and take photos. They tried their best to find a tripod and a telephoto lens, and Jose took pictures together as a photographer.

And this famous song "Olive Tree" was also achieved in this trip to Andalusia.

Later, the Spanish Sahara became more and more unsafe. At that time, the Spanish government wanted to give up the colony, which was later divided between Morocco and Mauritania. Sanmao and Hexi moved to the Canary Islands and continued to live their own wandering life.

1976 spring, The Story of the Sahara was published, aged 33.

San Mao's lifelong pursuit is to take his hometown as his hometown and be a stranger forever, so he has experienced many things that his peers have never experienced.

It is conceivable that these two books were a great success after their publication, and transient vagrancy became the standard slogan of literary youth.

Six years of love, once in vain.

Sanmao and Jose lived in the Gali Islands for three years.

Sanmao's life is really like a script, which has been turned over and over again.

There was a time when Jose gave Sanmao a watch, and he felt unlucky. Later, a witch stripped them of a hair, and Sanmao had a premonition that something was wrong.

At that time, Chen Jia's parents wanted to travel to Europe, and San Mao went to Europe to accompany them.

During this period, Jose died unexpectedly while diving.

Six years of night, six years of love, once went up in smoke.

Sanmao hasn't dropped a drop of water these days and nights. She has been saying to herself: Wait for me.

Actually, I just want to kill myself. It's no use trying to persuade me. Finally, Qiong Yao stepped forward and turned the tables.

Although Qiong Yao is five years older than San Mao, she became famous earlier. When Sanmao was depressed, besides skating at home, she spent a lot of time waiting for the serial of Qiong Yao magazine.

Our mood now is deep rain, which was called misty rain at that time.

Qiong Yao and his wife have been helping Sanmao. This time, they personally talked with Sanmao for 7 hours, making Sanmao swear never to commit suicide before leaving.

After that, Sanmao published many books, such as How Many Flowers Fall in Dreams, to pay homage to the departure of her father and husband.

On another occasion, I accepted the invitation of the United Nations newspaper, took a sum of money to travel to Latin America, and wrote a set of travel notes by the way, that is, "Thousands of Waters in Qian Shan".

In a blink of an eye, many years have passed, and at 1990, Hong Kong director Yim Ho is going to make a film adaptation of The Crying Camel.

San Mao didn't agree, Yim Ho refused to give up, and invited Qin and Han to have a big meal together. Sanmao was hit by a car after going out and lying in the hospital, finally figured it out.

But I didn't decide to cry camel, but wrote a script myself.

This is the famous world of mortals.

The play was a great success. At that time, all the contestants won prizes except San Mao.

And San Mao ended his life with stockings in the toilet that day.

Yes 199 1 1.4, 30 years old.

Regarding Sanmao's suicide, many people have analyzed various reasons. Some people say it's because of various scandals. Some people even say that Hexi does not exist at all, it is conceived.

Some people say it is-rolling in the world of mortals, and finally didn't win the prize.

Sanmao is a perfectionist and can't bear such a failure.

Some people say it's about six years, and the six years of married life add up to 12 years, so I finally chose to live 12 years after Jose's death, and it's time to choose to leave this world.

But we have already talked about San Mao's classical philosophy of beauty, the philosophy of resurrection from the dead.

Sanmao can't find anything more perfect to do now. After Jose died, life was so boring. The person she loves has left, and everything she should do in her life has been done. She wants to travel and travel around the world.

I have written all my rich stories.

Sanmao's experience is more than a person's experience in three lifetimes.

Then everything was over, and the last puzzle that Sanmao cared about was how to face death.

Therefore, Sanmao chose to end his life.

"choose and bear the price"

Dare to bear the price, you deserve this life. In the school of art, there is a sketch called Aestheticism, and the representative figure is the famous Oscar Wilde.

The pursuit of aestheticism is the ultimate perfection, and the pursuit of perfection itself is meaning, without any explanation.

Even moths should pursue supreme beauty.

And San Mao explained what aestheticism can live in his life with his own life.

This kind of life is worth remembering, because we ordinary people can't do it at all. If we can do it, we are not ordinary people.

(I recommend that you listen to the recording of Sanmao before his death, which is very crisp and pleasant. )

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