I often feel embarrassed and very troubled by trivial things. I always think about this thing every day and I can’t learn anything. What should I do?

Is it because people have low self-esteem?

If yes``

Listen to my humble opinion~

1. What is low self-esteem< /p>

Inferiority is a complex emotion of feeling ashamed, shy, timid or even discouraged when one feels inferior to others. People with an inferiority complex despise themselves and think they cannot catch up with others. Inferiority is the biggest hurdle in life, and everyone must successfully cross it to reach the peak of life.

2. Reasons for inferiority complex

There are many reasons for inferiority complex. The following mainly discusses the following situations.

1. When you were given a certain label in childhood: "I can't", "I can't", "I can't"... Such words often appear among people who are not confident. Some people may have received incorrect evaluations of their abilities or appearance when they were very young, which has become a major obstacle to their progress. Resistance causes inferiority complex in some people.

Austrian psychologist Adler believes that because children must rely on their parents and the world around them due to powerlessness, incompetence or ignorance from early childhood, it is normal to develop this inferiority complex, but It's not that he is unchangeable. There was a famous speaker in ancient Greece, Demosthenes, who originally suffered from a stutter, but after several years of hard speaking and practice, he became an outstanding speaker and eloquent. President Roosevelt of the United States suffered from polio, but became a great leader during World War II and was loved by the American people. Therefore, when you are given a certain "label", believe that you can take off these labels yourself.

2. When they are dissatisfied with their appearance: Some people will be distressed and dissatisfied because their appearance does not meet a certain standard, resulting in an inferiority complex. For example, for those who are dissatisfied with their appearance, what we want to tell you is that everyone’s appearance is different from birth. Everyone has characteristics that are different from anyone else. You are you, you are A person with a unique appearance. In the book "Love Beauty, Know Beauty, Know Beauty", it is mentioned that when Italian movie star Sophia Loren first entered the film and television industry, almost all photographers thought that her neck was too long and her mouth was too big, and they hoped that she could be a photographer. Cosmetic surgery, but Sophia Loren believes that this is her characteristic. If she is asked to have cosmetic surgery, she would rather give up making movies. Sophia Loren has become a generation star with her self-confidence and her excellent acting skills, and has won success. Therefore, facing the appearance that we cannot change, we might as well learn from Sophia Loren’s approach of cherishing our own characteristics, which will make you more confident.

In addition, what we want to say is that a person's ability and value are not determined by his appearance. Marie Curie is the first female scientist to win the Nobel Prize in the world. Whenever we mention radium, we will definitely think of her; whenever people see her portrait, they first feel reverence. Think of her great contributions to science rather than her appearance.

There are many people in the world who are not tall, but have made immortal contributions to their country and even all mankind, such as Marx, Lenin, Deng Xiaoping, etc., but their images are still in people's hearts. Incomparably taller and majestic.

Instead of worrying about our appearance, being distressed and sad about our shortcomings, we should face the reality, constantly enrich ourselves, and have a keen sense of art, profound understanding of life, and excellent cultural accomplishment, and have a good understanding of people. Based on his sincerity, enthusiasm, and diligent contribution to society.

3． When the environment changes: This situation easily occurs to our classmates. When competitors in certain aspects change, they feel a little inadequate, so they have doubts about their abilities and feel sorry for themselves; some students feel frustrated and lose self-confidence when their academic performance is not satisfactory; some students feel frustrated because of changes in the environment. The change in the level of attention I received gave rise to the following thoughts: Do my teachers, family, and classmates think I am ugly? Do my poor grades make them look down on me? As a result, they are suspicious, sensitive, unsociable, solitary, and neglectful of communication. If the above emotions trouble us for a long time and cannot be relieved, it may cause low self-esteem, affect our progress and development.

4. When in poverty: Some people come from a poorer family environment. The contrast between them and the people they come into contact with or the new environment is large, and they are prone to inferiority complex. However, families cannot be chosen. Family prosperity is not created by us, and family poverty is not our fault. Whether the family is rich or poor, we cannot change it for the time being. All we can change is ourselves, as long as we see the shining side of ourselves. , and work hard to achieve some results, confidence will be shown in us.

5． When there are physical defects: People with physical disabilities more or less have this attitude: "I am disabled, I am useless." It is under the influence of this strong inferiority complex that people only sympathize with some disabled people. object and achieve nothing. But what some disabled people do does not win people's sympathy, but respect. Helen Keller, Zhang Haidi, Sang Lan, etc. are admired by many of us normal people.

Sang Lan, a young girl who should have walked to the podium, was half-conscious lying on the bed at the Mount Sinai Rehabilitation Center in Manhattan, USA. Yes, she did not become the world champion, but ordinary people in the United States called Sang Lan "the pride of the Chinese people" and "has extraordinary perseverance and bravery at the age of 17." The American broadcaster ABC filmed her feature film, and the influential People magazine once featured Sang Lan as its cover character. "High paraplegia" - this disaster is like a collapse of the sky, which can turn people's hope for life into confusion, but Sang Lan always faces it with a smile because she firmly believes that she can create the miracle of life. It was Sang Lan's smile that ushered in the arrival of Jackie Chan, her idol; it was Sang Lan's firm belief that enabled people to hear Celine Dion singing "My Heart Will Go" acapella for her in her ward. On". The famous host of the American Broadcasting Company ABC said: "Sang Lan is a very good child, and Sang Lan deserves everyone to do this for her."

3. The impact of low self-esteem on people

In fact Everyone will face the mysterious monster of inferiority complex. It often breaks into our inner world inadvertently, controls our lives, extorts courage and courage from us, and attempts to erode people's courage and confidence step by step. When we encounter difficulties, it stands behind us and scares us loudly; when we are about to stride forward, it pulls our sleeves and tells us to be careful of landmines. An accidental setback will make you feel dejected, helpless, and deny everything about yourself. You will feel that you are worthless and useless, and you will fall into a whirlpool of self-blame and guilt. For example: it will make you depressed, and your peers will look down on you and isolate you; it will make you doubt your own abilities and always feel that your abilities are slightly inferior to others. Despite unremitting efforts, your results are still not top-notch, so some people will Giving up on yourself and letting yourself go, you start to be afraid of seeing the teacher, can't hold your head up in front of your classmates, and gradually become lonely and unsociable; it will also make you unreasonably guess that others have ill intentions towards you, complain that the teacher doesn't take you seriously, and sigh. The world is hot and cold; it makes you lack the courage to interact with others and make you blush when you see others. It will make you feel the pressure everywhere and everything will not go your way. It will make you unable to start and be at a loss when facing difficulties. It will make you doubt your own charm... However, inferiority complex will lead to completely different results for different people. One kind of person is willing to admit his failure, and may never recover, or even give up due to a big decline; the other kind of person finds the gap, pursues it to the end, shortens the gap, admits the gap, strives to surpass, and persists in this. People with an optimistic and positive attitude will eventually succeed. Not only in study, but also in future life, such people move from inferiority to self-confidence. Beethoven wrote an immortal piece of music and issued a confident cry such as "I will seize fate by the throat." Only self-confidence can achieve success, because it is the wing of our success; only a person with self-confidence can be a brave, frank, optimistic, and open-minded person; only a self-confident person knows how to love others, love himself, and love nature , Love life; only a confident person can be a mentally healthy person.

So how can you overcome your inferiority complex and become confident?

4. Overcome inferiority complex and build self-confidence

1. To objectively evaluate ourselves, we must know that everyone has their own shortcomings and deficiencies, as well as their own advantages and strengths. We should try our best to change our shortcomings, and at the same time, we must also accept our shortcomings calmly. This is a basic attitude of self-acceptance. .

2. Learn to appreciate yourself, appreciate your own strengths, appreciate your own excellent qualities, and use this appreciation and praise to increase your self-awareness, increase your self-acceptance and sense of self-worth, so that we can gain confidence;

< p>3. Actively engage in self-suggestion. Active self-suggestion is a self-stimulation process that uses subjective effects to generate good expectations in the heart. Its characteristic is not to experience the emotions after failure before taking action, even in unfavorable situations. Encourage yourself to face it with confidence, and often use "I can" and "I can" to encourage yourself, instead of using "I can't" and "I can't" to underestimate yourself;

4. Accurately position and adjust goals. On the road of life, not all needs can be met and all goals can be achieved. Therefore, in addition to abandoning those unreasonable goals, we must also be careful not to set the goals too high or too low. They should be achievable through hard work. Moreover, the original goals must be revised at different stages. Adjustment. If the goal is set too high and is divorced from subjective conditions and objective reality, you may only torture yourself in constant setbacks and bring unnecessary psychological burden and anxiety to yourself; if the goal is too low, you will not go through the necessary struggle and hard work. The goals that we strive to achieve often wear down people's will, and in the long run it is easy for people to lose their ambition.

If we continue to adjust our goals and work hard to move forward step by step, we will definitely increase our confidence and gain self-confidence as we continue to obtain small successes.

5． Play a "movie" for yourself. When you feel discouraged and lack confidence in something, play past successful experiences in your mind to establish that you are capable. Feeling the successful experience is also a way to re-establish confidence.

6． Gratitude Difficulties and failures are inevitable for everyone. They may make anyone feel inferior. If we can change our perspective and look at difficulties and failures scientifically, we can learn from them and accumulate experience to prepare for the next success. Look for opportunities. When we can overcome difficulties again and again, then we will be stronger than others again and again, and we will move towards growth again. Therefore, in life, it is difficulties that make us grow and mature. Every time we overcome difficulties, it is a great progress and an experience that increases our wisdom and experience.

Inferiority is a complex that everyone may have, and it may make people miss good opportunities and fear setbacks.

Psychology believes that people have unlimited potential for development. Therefore, theoretically speaking, as long as we work hard, we can overcome our weaknesses and realize our strengths and potentials until one day. When we have a sense of accomplishment, confidence and happiness as we realize our own advantageous potential, when we enter a virtuous cycle of development, due to the role of positive transfer (that is, the learned or existing experience has a good impact on new learning activities) The phenomenon of influence), our own weak potential will also be mobilized, so that we will naturally become confident people. Students who are disadvantaged in some aspects should see their bright side and make some achievements. This will overcome their inferiority and worries, and you will definitely become a confident person. Extracurricular practice: After getting up every morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I am confident, I am successful." Praise yourself: reward and praise yourself for every good thing you do, so as to establish positive psychological cues and put yourself in a good position. Mental state, let confidence return to yourself.