The illusory love in WeChat

Having been using WeChat for 4 years, I searched for nearby people for the first time.

A handsome and elegant profile picture burst into my eyes, 800 meters away, actually very close! "Hello!" It was the first time I greeted a stranger on WeChat.

"I passed your friend verification request and now we can start chatting." After a while I received this message. But we didn't talk. There started to be a stranger in my WeChat who was just sitting quietly in my address book but I felt like I wouldn’t have any interactions with him.

I didn’t know at the beginning that I would fall in love with you so hopelessly.

One night two days later, I was lying in bed with nothing to do. I was flipping through my WeChat address book and saw the picture of that handsome man. "Hello! Are you there?" I said. Look, what a cheesy opening line. After looking at the information, the address showed Ningbo. "Are you from Ningbo?"

"Hello! Well, I'm from Ningbo!" I was a little surprised that you replied to my message instantly. Because I have always felt that replying instantly is a virtue.

"It's so far away. I thought you were from our side!" I felt a little inexplicably disappointed. I come from a small county town in Gansu, a small place with not very convenient transportation. I am in the north, but you belong to the water town of Jiangnan. Originally, if we talk about love, what is better and safer love than opening my heart, family, property, and marriage to you? The so-called 800 meters is just an illusion.

"A few days ago, my college classmate got married. He is from your place. I went to attend the wedding and now I have returned to Ningbo!"

"That's it. Wenxuan? This WeChat Is the nickname your real name?"

"Well, that's right, my surname is Han!"

That's right, Han Wenxuan Under the Moonlight

I see Seeing Chen Xiao's rising and falling chest

Smelling the unique scent of a girl

A very complicated thought arose in my heart: I felt a little excited

Feeling shameful again. . Your name later became my calamity. It was also a sweet presence in my life for quite a long time.

Throughout February, just after the New Year, there was a peaceful scene everywhere, and the air was always filled with a festive flavor. The atmosphere between you and me in February has also begun to become more subtle. Every night you say something to me, and we talk for a long time. We forget the time, and we also forget the strange and confused looks of people around us when we laugh at our mobile phones. We hit it off like old friends, and time always flew by unknowingly.

You said you like to eat hot pot, cucumbers with garlic, pickled peppers, plums, grapes, peanuts, and drink water. You like light blue and white best.

And all of this is surprisingly the same as mine. I was really shocked when I heard this.

There has never been a person who could have everything exactly the same as me.

Your birthday is in October, and so am I. You are a Scorpio and so am I.

I don’t like sweets. The same to you.

We all love Zhou Black Duck Juewei Drunk and a host of super spicy options.

I joked: "You are not my previous life, are you? Your hobbies and other things are so similar to mine."

"It's possible. I probably just changed my gender later on, and everything else Keep them all intact." You made a happy expression.

We video and send photos, just like lovers, without any scruples. You say that it is outrageous that I am as beautiful as a flower, delicate and talented, and that I am still single. I said that you are handsome, smart, humorous, and extraordinary, and you are still single, which makes me feel balanced.

February, which we have seen for so long, actually has the 29th. I solemnly say to you: "I heard that today is the day for girls to confess their love, and it cannot be rejected."

" So who have you confessed to?"

"It must not be, because I don't know who to confess to!"

"Then wait until next February 29th!"

The preset script in my mind is that you say: Then you can confess your love to me first! Then I can pour out all the sweet words and even related poems and songs to you.

It’s a pity that the plot deviated from the script.

I left home on March 1st and went to work in Lanzhou. In the suddenly busy life, the only thing that is indispensable and has not changed is the endless chatting with you every night. We don't care whether we can get up the next morning or whether we fall asleep at work during the day. Just because between us, it feels like there is always endless things to say.

I joked that I would make a chat schedule specifically for the two of us in the future. We can take a 5-minute break, drink water, and wash our hands. "I didn't expect this, and I didn't." I thought that such a result would occur. I just want to prove myself through hard work and gain your favor and favor. However, since this result has been caused, I will go to Zongyang Group. Your job will make you more confident, you can better use your talents, and the salary will be far better than working at Ailian Company. What do you think?" After that, we continued chatting. When the conversation is over, we break up and fall asleep.

You are smiling from ear to ear.

You said you felt very happy and comfortable chatting with me, and every time you said good night, you would hold your phone and have fun for half an hour. You said how about we publish the chat records and earn some royalties, then you can take me on a trip to Bali.

So, every morning, I began to carefully write down our chat records from the previous night.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

"The people nearby are actually not close at all, such as you." I am sad and regretful.

"It was close at first, but then it became far away."

"Then it became farther and farther."

"Hey..."

"What's wrong? The cold is not gone yet? Are you feeling uncomfortable?" I know you have a cold and fever these days, but unfortunately I can't do anything. Thinking of this, I can't help but start blaming myself.

"Fortunately, my thinking is just a little messed up..."

For a moment, my nose was sore and my tears were pouring! At that moment, I knew that I was hopeless. Hopelessly in love with you.

I have never worried about someone so seriously. I'm afraid that you'll be unhappy, that you'll be sick and have no one to take care of you, that you'll be lost and lonely, that you'll suddenly be polite to me, that you'll forget me if we don't contact you. But I know that what I fear most is that I can't do anything about you when you are sick, and even caring and greetings seem pale and unnecessary.

I really want to call you, listen to your voice, and tell you that you have me. But, I don't have your number.

"You have to be well." I tried hard to keep the second half of the sentence in my heart without saying it out loud: otherwise I would be very worried.

“I suddenly discovered that you are suitable for business. Your personality and the way you deal with people make it easy for you to gain recognition and be accepted by others. Coupled with your unique charm of language, you will definitely be very successful. "You suddenly changed the subject: "You must take care of yourself and be good."

I panicked because I have always stubbornly believed that when someone tells you to take good care of yourself. , proving that he was leaving.

You really left, just like missing, disappearing from the Internet. I waited a night, a day, and a night, but you never showed up on time. I opened WeChat and clicked on the dialog box, but I couldn't see the familiar "The other party is typing...".

At 1:15 a.m. on March 10, 2016, I, who had insomnia, wrote in my circle of friends: I had runny nose and tears. Visible only to you. It’s not for anything else, I just want you to see that even if you casually ask me what’s wrong with you, I will be happy and satisfied. But you didn't. You frighten me as if you suddenly disappeared.

Come on.

***There are so many similarities, so now do you love me as much as I love you? Do you care about me as much as I worry about you?

Friday, March 11, 2016

"You have runny nose and tears, don't you also have a cold?"

You finally showed up, I was ecstatic .

"No, no, I'm fine! What about you? Are you recovered from the cold?" I replied quickly, for fear that you would disappear again.

You disappeared for two days, and six autumns passed in my world.

"Well, it's so good! The temperature has dropped again recently. It takes courage to get up in the morning!" Travel both ways, not afraid of the cold or the heat, to meet your future girlfriend. "I don't even know what I started talking nonsense about again.

"You are right, then I will take the 99 steps first and let my future girlfriend take the remaining steps."

I applauded countless times in my heart across the screen .

March 19, 2016, Saturday

"I have shown signs of becoming stupid recently. Will I become even stupider when I wait for love and marriage?" Wouldn’t it be silly?” I sent these words to you.

Isn’t it because I fell in love with you that it came true that girls have zero IQ when they fall in love?

“If you fall in love stupidly, the ending will be happy. You Are you in love?"

"No." Han Moqin, you are such a fool, why don't you even have the courage to say, "Yes, I'm in love with you." I despised myself thousands of times in my heart.

"That is the desire, impulse and idea to fall in love. Love becomes stupid. When your float passed the No. 1 bus stop, I saw her - the woman who was supposed to be my bride. She is extremely haggard, and the vicissitudes of time have been left on her thirty-year-old face. Her former beauty has been replaced by wrinkles, and her eyes that once fascinated me are now dull. In the days when you were not with me, I walked alone in the alley where we first walked, and my palms seemed to be able to feel your warmth as the wind blew through the leaves and kept swaying, just like the longing for you in my heart. Non-stop. Is it true that every woman who falls in love with someone like me will be filled with only him? I will prepare an extra set of bowls and chopsticks every day when I eat, and you will always be with me.

cctop., radiant, this is all the result of that little girl, her love aroused my confidence and courage, and inspired my fighting spirit. Only now do I understand how closely a man’s success is inseparable from the silent support of the person behind him. I have nothing to repay, only giving her a stable home and a real status can alleviate the guilt in my heart. That's right!"

"So do you want to introduce me to someone?" I asked deliberately.

"No. I want to introduce myself to such a good girl, but I want to be selfish. "

I think of something you said. You once fell in love with a girl, but you gave it to your friend because you thought it was righteous at the time.

"A lifetime. For such a long time, you must find someone who is in love with you, otherwise you would rather be alone. "You continued.

"We will definitely find that person. "Maybe that person will be me? Thinking like this, I was secretly happy. After about two minutes, not every love is earth-shattering. In fact, simplicity is the state of marriage. Zhong, "You Are you sleepy? Why aren't you talking?" I asked. Don't you always reply to the messages I send instantly?

He pinched her nose, which was covered with age spots, "Yes, you are The treasure in my palm, no matter when. "No, someone is looking for her. She is in a bad mood. Please comfort her." "

My heart skipped a beat. I was speechless for a moment, and I didn't say a word for a long time. The air was filled with a strong smell of vinegar.

"Are you sleeping?"

“No. "

"Why don't you talk anymore? I thought you were asleep. "

"I can't leave some time for you to comfort others. I won't bother you for now!" I pretended that I didn't have any psychological changes.

"You are overthinking, we are like buddies, I am so busy, I must first care about what I care about. "

"You care. "I originally wanted to put a question mark, but after thinking about it I entered a period. Maybe it's a question mark, which might make you embarrassed? You didn't tell me, how could I pursue you so hard?

"The world is vast, and I love one person. That's enough, don't be greedy. ”

“There are three thousand weak water, just take one gourd to drink.” "I will pick up the point you made.

"There are so many of us, maybe we will fall in love with you one day. "

"Easy to say!" I danced happily on the bed, and my phone fell and hit my face.

"How easy to say?"

"Me too. have no idea. "I don't have the nerve to tell you. What I mean is that I have fallen in love with you a long time ago. As I guessed, Xue met a man who was eight years older than her. This eight years is inevitably a huge difference in the eyes of ordinary people, even in Generally conservative people think it is an insurmountable gap, but in Xue's view, age is completely defenseless. Even if she is eighteen years older than her, she will happily accept it. As long as it suits her heart - I know Xue is a Qin Jian, a piano key sometimes waits for a lifetime for a pair of hands. It may not be a perfect pair of hands, but as long as he knows how to play and how to make those notes fly, Snow's heart will fly to a large extent. Close to a snowflake, hexagonal, not falling in the north wind, but flying, flying to the empty sky, flying to the sea, but not covered with dust!

"If you. By my side, I will really fall in love with you. "

Doesn't it mean that as long as we love each other, age distance is not a problem. Why does it have to be a premise that I am by your side? I am confused.

"What if? , there are too many variables and it is unreliable. Besides, there are so many people around you..." I didn't ask you why you couldn't fall in love with me who is far away first.

"But like you, there is no one who is unique after all. ”

“Well, everyone is unique and unique. ”

Thank God, you at least have me in your heart now. Right?

March 20, 2016, Sunday

"Are you back?"

"You are back, always here. "

"I thought you were waiting for me. "

"You are so right. What were you doing today? You ignored me all day. "I curled my lips.

"I went to see the cherry blossoms. "

"Who are you following?" Thousands of people flew before my eyes. "It can't be a woman." ”

“Male. You're not coming. When I went out and looked at the couple, I felt sad. "

"What does it hurt? You have me. "I suddenly felt a little distressed.

"You are not here. I was waiting for you under the cherry blossom tree today, but you didn't come. The person I really want to be by my side is you. "

"How can I bear to leave you alone. Wait, I will be a frequent visitor to Jiangnan from now on. "

"You want to come to Jiangnan to settle down?"

"Waiting for you to take me in, I will be a fool. "

"Don't be afraid, I'm here. ”

“It’s good to have you.” "I beamed with joy, and my heart was filled with joy.

"It would be great if I could really be with you one day... ”

“Yes.

"I made up the words you omitted in my head: "together." "If we really get together one day, how wonderful it would be, what a happy ending. Just thinking about it makes me very excited. But, will it happen? God knows."

"I will go to your city in the future and rent a house." A house lives next door to yours. "

"This is absolutely possible. "I am overjoyed, as if you are already by my side.

Monday, March 21, 2016

"I submitted my resume in Beijing and called over there. Let me go over for an interview. "

"If the agreement is reached, we will evacuate? Leave Ningbo? Go north from now on?"

"Maybe. Take a week off to go to the interview. Are you coming? I'll take you to Happy Valley. "

"You are so busy, I can't bear to disturb you. "Not being able to bear to be disturbed was the most reasonable reason I could think of at the time, no, the most reasonable excuse. Going to a strange city with an unfamiliar place requires not only courage, but also a certain material foundation. And what do I have? I have the right Your love? But after all, I live in a real life where I can’t eat love.

“Is Beijing closer to Lanzhou?”

“Yes. . But why do I feel further away?" I said, "Actually, I don't understand what I said either. "You can only understand it.

"You think in your heart that I am in Ningbo and I am leaving suddenly. Subconsciously, you are far away, because leaving means being far away. "

"How can you understand me so well. "My nose felt sore: "Leave itself is a word with a sense of distance. ”

“Look, don’t think too much.” I'm here in Beijing to see my classmates, will you come?"

"You can come. "

"Where?"

"To a place you think is good. "

"There is a place for you. "

"Lanzhou. "Actually, what I really want to say is, "Then come to Lanzhou, Lanzhou has me. "But how can I bear to let you, who is so ambitious, travel thousands of miles from one small city to another. Beijing is your choice

Your dream.

“I specifically looked at Lanzhou’s talent recruitment. "

"What's the result? It looks like it went astray?"

"Yeah. "You added a smiley face emoticon.

I fell into endless insomnia the next night. I tossed and turned, my head was in a mess, and I was confused. My thoughts were like a kite with a broken string, floating here and there. The sky. It was almost dawn when I fell asleep. In my dream, we went to the beautiful island of Bali together. This was the first time I had such a vague dream.

I knew I would suffer from insomnia. But I will still fall asleep, because I will always fall asleep, even if there is a struggle in the middle, even if it is already dawn when I fall asleep. So, even if you know that falling in love will be difficult, why not give it a brave try? Even if you can't achieve perfection in the end, you will be like a fool. Isn’t the process of being intoxicated beautiful?

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

“Have you seen the harm caused by poisonous vaccines? It makes you feel terrible. Some Chinese people really have nothing to say and just think about how to make money. "

"Knowing this matter, it has attracted great attention. ”

“I don’t know what happened to my kindergarten girlfriend!”

“Fortunately, after my boyfriend returned to Beijing, Li Chenjun’s mind got along with Ji Xiang for a few days. Gradually I got to know his story: When he was in college, he had a lover. Both of them liked Chinese culture very much, and they made an appointment to come to China after graduating from college. However, that girl died in a car accident before graduating from college. It was because she drank in a bar and hit an oncoming truck while driving home. After graduating from college, he came to China on his own, wanting to help his girlfriend fulfill her unfinished wish. Jixiang's eyes sparkled with tears when he talked about his girlfriend. Zhang Xiaohan's smile appeared from time to time. Especially when he met the customer's blank stare again, he missed Zhang Xiaohan's friendly smile even more. After the National Day holiday, Li Chenjun came to the Beijing branch of China Southern Airlines. In the name of searching for someone, he reported Zhang Xiaohan's number plate and obtained Zhang Xiaohan's contact number. My friend has not been born yet, otherwise we would have been vaccinated!"

We laughed together.

"Many people get married right after graduating from college. What are you doing? Are you waiting for me?"

"I was discovered by you and have been waiting for you!"

"We are a bit of a prelude to falling in love!"

" Can there be a follow-up?" I was nervous.

"It must be possible. I will work harder, you will work harder, and then the plot can continue. "

"Well, the result will finally come out. "

"What are your future plans?" You asked suddenly.

"I have a dream of being a boss. It can be any industry, but if you are more perfect, it would be best to be in photography! I have always hoped that one day I can help others take unique photos. ”

“Photography is a money-burning industry. "

"So I just think about it first.

"

"Waiting for the day when my great love will be the sunflower in time. The sun will rise in the east and set in the west, and the flowers will bear fruit. If you win the prize, I will sponsor you!"

"Okay, okay. "

We are dreaming wonderful dreams together!

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

"You will set off tomorrow Are you going to Beijing? Are you ready with everything you need to bring?"

"Yes, everything is ready. "

"It rains frequently in the north recently, so bring an umbrella. It's not as hot as in the south, so you know..."

"Yeah, I brought a coat. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a girl care about me like this, I feel so sweet in my heart!”

“What a pity, I’m not here with you!” I was full of regrets.

“I’ll go to Beijing and wait. I’m waiting for you to come here!”

“No, one day, I will go to a city in the south to find you. "I vowed.

"Okay, looking forward to it..."

"I suddenly remembered something. You said before that there was a girl who said she wanted to come to you. , I scared you so much that you didn’t dare to answer the call even after you deleted it on QQ, right?”

“That’s right. Don't you have a bad memory recently? How come you still remember it so well? Girls are really weird. They don't remember the good ones, but only remember the ones about feelings. ”

“No, girls generally only remember the words of someone they care about very much.” No matter how important the words passed by passers-by A, B, B, and D were, she would have forgotten them in a short time. "After saying these words, I felt a little shy. Is this a confession?

"I'm flattered that you say that!"

"I want to say that you must care. The ranks. "

"Who else?"

"Wrong expression, no rows, no columns, just you!" I quickly explained.

"Just now That’s not what I said in the beginning!”

“That’s what I wanted to say, but I ended up expressing it wrong!” I hummed left and right.

“I feel so sweet in my heart. , so happy!"

Me too.

"You have to get up early tomorrow and take the bus, so go get some rest!" I looked at the time and it was already getting late.

"You too, it's not good for girls to sleep late!"

"I know! Have a good trip tomorrow. Good night!"

"I'll tell you when I get there. Good night!"

You arrived in Beijing on the afternoon of March 24th. For the next four days, we had no contact. It was like you disappeared again. I hold my phone every night and stare at the dialog box, "Fuck it. Well, are you busy?" "How are you in Beijing?" "How was the interview?" "It's raining in Lanzhou, where are you? Remember to bring an umbrella when you go out!" "I miss you!" Why are you ignoring me these days?" I edited and deleted the message, deleted and edited it again, but I never dared to send one because I was afraid of disturbing you.

I heard that a person who is too clingy will eventually be Disgusted. So, I chose to wait silently for an opportunity, an opportunity when I would be brave enough to disturb you.

On March 29, the fifth day you arrived in Beijing, the sky was gray in Lanzhou. , the strong wind mixed with dust blew everywhere. The weather in early spring was still inexplicably freezing. After get off work, I turned up my collar and went home. I cooked, ate, washed, and lay in bed playing with my mobile phone. The constant pace of life.

If you are too busy and bored, something will happen.

"Are you there?" "How was the interview?" "These. Why is God ignoring me?" I sent you three messages in one breath, feeling nervous and relieved at the same time.

"The interview went well and the training has started. I will return to Ningbo in a few days to hand over the work there. Then I came to Beijing again and officially started working here after Qingming Festival. "

"Congratulations! You will develop in a big city in the future. Not bad! I'm so happy for you!" Tears suddenly burst out of the corners of my eyes and wet the screen of my mobile phone.

" Thanks. "

Your sudden courtesy made me anxious and at a loss. I couldn't find anything to talk about for a while and replied three periods.

"Dear Yes, sorry. The reality is too cruel, and we are too far apart. It is estimated that there will be no follow-up. I have thought about it for a long time, but it is time to make it clear. I can’t delay you. I hope you can find the person you can spend your whole life with as soon as possible, and I wish you happiness. "The first time you called me darling, no matter how beautiful the cross-border love, no matter how fairy tale-like the plot of the love drama, will eventually return to the trivial things of daily necessities. Peter has been working as a foreign teacher in an international school in Shanghai these years. As a teacher, he is a good teacher who is dedicated to his duty, but the poor income of being a teacher also makes the gentleman become a "moonlight clan".

"Why?" "Why did you go there?" Things have changed between us after a trip to Beijing?" "As long as you are willing, I can go to find you at all costs in the future. ""I love you. ""I miss you. "All the questions, all the unspoken ones. Every time you fall in love, it's a time of growth. It may take a lot of courage to bravely say your blessings. However, I mustered up the courage to say my blessings.

The words were choked back. All thoughts were blocked by obscure and difficult to understand sentences before they really started.

Those fragmented sweetness

Those tacit understandings between souls, I have been holding on to, very clear, yet very hazy, like a dream, terrifyingly far away. It is a joy to have, but in an instant, it is so far away. Nothing matters anymore, all that's left are the heart-breaking tears, the silence without saying a word, and the five words that hurt my heart: I wish you happiness too.

What a hasty ending, without any precaution.

Loved? No, loving.

Once upon a time, you came to my city and left your traces among the "people nearby".

Later, you lived in my heart and carved indelible memories in my world.

We have never met, but I am completely in love with you.

We are in tune, we have a tacit understanding, and our souls are connected.

However, we are not together. There is no clear beginning, only a clear ending. Something that feels like you forgot, please remember, I still remember.

"Can I see you?" "Can we talk?" I will still keep asking you these questions in my dreams. And then wake up crying, night after night.

Love