Write 10 winter vacation diary (I am a student, not a teacher).

Finally, I finished the exam yesterday morning. As usual, I put everything behind me and had a good rest. But when I think about the plan I made before the winter vacation, I start to get busy. I'm going to practice this winter vacation, so I have to find a place to practice first. In this competitive era, it may be beneficial for us to practice early. Plus, you are a stupid bird, you should fly first.

But I didn't expect it to be so bad, and the threshold of newspapers in Chongqing was so high. I went to four shops yesterday afternoon, and none of them wanted us. The daily newspaper said that people were full; The evening paper directly said that we don't want sophomores, even juniors and seniors. Neither did the morning paper. No matter how hard we work, no matter how hard we work, people just don't want it. Forget it. Go to the Times again. Asking around, asking around, even my feet are sore, but I haven't even entered the door of the times. Naturally, this increases our frustration. It's getting dark. Come back.

Almost everyone in the school has left, and the most obvious feeling is that it is not as lively as before. I got up at noon today and went to two newspapers in the afternoon. One is that I don't want an intern because of the big personnel adjustment. The other one is very direct. I can leave for 200 yuan. I think I'd better forget it. I'm already poor. I'm a little confused and don't know how to live in the future. So I came back. Today is colder than yesterday. There are not many lights upstairs next to me, and there is a large area of darkness. I think some students have arrived home. Forget it, go to bed early. I'm so tired.

Rain 1.20 Friday

It seems that the internship is really not working. I stayed in the dormitory for two days and went out to find a job with my roommate today. The roommate's stay virtually gave me great spiritual comfort and made me no longer lonely. After being introduced, we went to find a sales manager, who also graduated from our school and was considered an alumnus. He told us some of his experiences, how he got into trouble and how he overcame it. He told us that a man can only support himself, and also told us his experience after graduation. We listened with relish and couldn't help admiring him. He said that young people must first know how heavy they are, be honest and be practical, but being practical does not mean being stupid, but be flexible. I think this is his successful experience. His words are very real, without any nonsense, and I think he is very real, and every word makes sense. But my roommate didn't go to work there. He thinks the salary there is too low, only 10 yuan a day, and he doesn't include food, accommodation, meals and chartered cars, so there is basically no profit to make, which is extremely hard. If you want to exercise, it is still a good place to go, but if you want to earn some money, it will be difficult.

I don't know what to do when I come back. I don't know what to do. Fortunately, you can surf the internet, otherwise I really don't know what to do. I can't surf the internet every day, but I still have to do something. You can't waste such precious time. Let's read and write. More or less have to leave some traces.

Yin 1.23 Monday

Probably because there is nothing to do and there is no class, I get up late, mostly at eleven or twelve o'clock, and then have lunch, even today. Just after dinner, the fellow villager sent a text message saying that her bank card and ID card were lost, and asked me to help her report the loss to the bank. So I went to the city again in the afternoon. My roommate just bought clothes and I went shopping again. Of course, I also saw some and felt some in my heart. Although I have written it down, I can't get those scenes out of my mind. Compared with them, I am lucky. I can study in a university with very good conditions and have no worries about food and clothing, while they have to earn money to go to school during the holidays. My brother and sister who play erhu seriously with their heads down, a little girl with a red face but acrobatics, walk like a little boy with a schoolbag in Kong Yiji's back. These things hurt my heart invisibly. Many people watched their free performance, but few people walked over and threw a piece. And that little boy was completely ignored. I think they are unfortunate. Maybe some people will say that they are kneeling gangs or beggars gangs, which is deceptive. But whether beggars or kneeling gangs are unfortunate, they all need attention and care. Seeing that many people have taken their carefully selected and jeweled people away from the pet market has added a little sadness to my heart. Maybe China people are too numb. I was still performing seriously when I came back, but the RMB in front of me didn't increase much, which was not much different from before.

Where will they sleep when night falls?

Sunny 1.25 Wednesday

Today, the happiest thing is that several teachers of the college took us vagrants who didn't go home for a meal, and another person gave us 100 yuan, which was considered as New Year's Eve and lucky money. Although it is customary, it has sent a lot of warmth to our classmates who are far away from home. During the dinner, our schoolmates didn't say much, but Mr. Dai and the seniors chatted about the internship. I didn't drink much, but I was a little drunk. After I came back, I called home as usual and asked a few questions casually. My parents asked me why I didn't go back. I said it was troublesome, but my parents really wanted me to go back. Then I did something casually and fell asleep as usual.

Sunny 1.27 Friday

I finally finished reading the Survey of Chinese Farmers in bed this morning. After reading it, I was deeply touched. Although I was not careful, I was somewhat impressed. I haven't written out my thoughts until now after reading it. Of course, I am also very happy when my classmates call to say hello. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, so I can't reunite with my family until I go back, so I have to call home and have relatives and friends. I haven't seen them for a long time. It's still a little lonely here alone. You can have free dinner and breakfast in the canteen tomorrow, but you must go early. You can't lose yourself when you are away from home. Hey hey.

Sunny 1.28 Saturday

The weather is sunny these days, and the warm sunshine shines on people, which makes people feel warm. Today is New Year's Eve. I should be a little excited. After all, I grew up in the traditional culture of China. I don't remember much about the past Chinese New Year, but I haven't been home for two years, which is a little vague.

It's past two o'clock, and there are still many people on QQ who say "Happy New Year!" Give it to each of them. Each of them responded with such a blessing. There are some firecrackers in the school. Although it is forbidden and nobody cares, there are few firecrackers, not as loud as at home. I watched the Spring Festival Gala somewhere else in the evening. Now let's write something.

I think New Year's Eve is just a feeling. The whole family will get together for New Year's Eve dinner. Parents get old year by year, and children grow up year by year. I haven't seen you for a long time. Parents have a lot of white hair on their heads, and their children have already left home in a foreign land. I don't feel any Chinese New Year atmosphere. Except for parties and blessings, everything is so ordinary, so dull and so calm.

Chatting with a senior, she said I was unfilial, and I thought so. I haven't been home for a long time. I should go back, too. I should be at home next Spring Festival.

Sunny 1.30 Monday

As usual, I remembered yesterday and today again. 1.29, Lunar New Year's Day, I didn't call anyone, and I didn't get a call from anyone. I woke up and read Yu's Cultural Journey. I find this book is like wine. I can't read more every time, or I will get drunk. Watch one day less. If you are hungry, come down and have something to eat. I went to the movies as usual in the afternoon, ran to bed to read after dinner, and fell asleep. I was woken up by my roommate after nine o'clock, and I couldn't sleep after waking up. I watched it several times, only a little after one o'clock, then went to bed and got up at two o'clock. I haven't written the first four articles. I must keep a diary. Forget it. Let's go to bed. I still can't sleep. Let's get up. Finally, my roommate got up, drank some wine, ate something, made a winter vacation homework, and then played a few games before going to bed and slept soundly.

Yin 2.3 Friday

Today, the winter vacation is over half. I go to bed late and get up early almost every day except a few days ago. I only eat two meals a day, so I don't need breakfast. I am still in bed. Besides sleeping and eating, I read books, watch some movies and chat every day. It's just a difference in time or order. At first, the school was quiet and I liked it very much, but then I began to get tired of it. But what can I do? It is good enough to read and write something every day, so I feel that time is not wasted, most of it is wasted. I really don't know how to describe this life.

But when writing at night, I can't write any wonderful sentences. Even though I have a lot of feelings, what flows through my pen is always so ordinary, so dull, without any taste and momentum. I also think of some achievements made by others in this respect before, and naturally I feel a little lost and feel that I have accomplished nothing. Besides, it was once again played by God. Others are trying, and I am trying. But why do others achieve more than me? I don't think I'm worse than him, but I work harder than them. Maybe this is the so-called fate. I used to believe in hard work, but now it depends on talent. It depends not only on whether you are material or not, but also on whether you have good fortune, that is, whether God helps you or not. I have always been pessimistic and disillusioned. But in any case, people can't fight the sky. I still don't believe that mankind can win the battle with heaven, but I still hope that God can help me. Hey hey hey!

Yin 2.5 Sunday

As usual, it rained tonight. I had a headache and anxiety the night before and had to be sad. But what can I do? I thought too much in my heart, but no one can understand it, and no one can understand it. Do nothing, don't want to do anything, and don't know what to do. After all, there are too many concerns. As I said before, who will clean up this mess for me? Inexplicable depression, inexplicable worry, inexplicable tears, it seems that everything can't find a reason and there is nothing to say. I had to stay quietly, let the tears in my heart quietly flow into the silent river and gather into an ocean of time.

I didn't want to get up this morning. I wanted to sleep last night, but I tried not to sleep. I wanted to wake up this morning, but I tried not to wake up. I finally slept for a long time, and the rest was just looking for something to do. Take a walk outside, see the scenery outside, breathe the cold night air, and then come in and eat something. After waking up, I took a bath, brushed my teeth and looked in the mirror. I don't think I am handsome, but I am ordinary and soulless. Maybe I made the right decision to get a haircut. I haven't called home for a long time, and I have to pack things tomorrow. There are too many things to do, but nothing has been done these days.

I thought for a long time in bed today, thinking about my past, present and future, but I can't remember anything. I just doubt whether I can be a reporter in the future. I don't know. I don't want anything now, I just want to have a lot of money to finish what I wanted to do a long time ago, but it's so difficult. I am like a patient, weak and confused. I'm tired of thinking, so I stopped to have a rest and rethink. I can't help myself. I am thinking about the injustice of this world and my misfortune. I found that my competitiveness is the worst in this grade. I almost burst into tears at the thought of this. I have to accept this fact, I have to admit and find various examples to prove it. I am disappointed again and again. I am afraid of this fact, but I accept it helplessly. Yesterday I laughed at my failure, only to find that I was a complete failure. Repeated failures have made my confidence disappear, and I blame God for thinking about these things. I just want to live a normal and happy life, that's all. But what about now? There is one thing that can satisfy me, only those poor and insignificant. I have nothing to say, which seems to be the biggest injustice to me by God. I tried, but where is my reward? I don't know and no one can tell me. I feel empty-handed, my mind is blank, and there is nothing in my stomach. I thought I would get fat when I came to college, but I didn't expect to lose weight again and again. This is fate? This is God's plan? Maybe I can learn from what the predecessors said, "Heaven is my enemy". I seem to have no past, no future, only now. When I wrote down the rest of my feelings, I found that God was so stingy that he wouldn't let me write it down. There used to be so many things, but now there are only some lingering shadows. What else can there be? I have nothing but loneliness.

Man laughs at the thought of God. It seems that God is laughing at me. Suddenly I feel that I understand everything in the world and ignore life and death. At the same time, I feel that I am going to be schizophrenic. My brain keeps thinking, my nerves are full of depression, and my spirit is immersed in sadness. If this continues, I will really doubt whether I will be schizophrenic. What will be the result of the split? I imagined that I would cry and laugh for a while. I don't know myself and I don't remember anything. This is me. What a pity! I was in my youth and ended my life like this. My reasons can't convince me, I have to rely on self-improvement. I just feel tired. Besides, I feel very tired. Forget it, I can't finish it. Stop writing, a man played by God.

Yin 2.9 Thursday

I haven't been feeling well since about 2. 1. I only know sleeping, eating and watching movies, but I don't feel sad. I think it's normal. 2.7, I get up and take a shower. It's already past four in the afternoon. I went to the balcony and looked at the mountains not far away and the mountains far away. I suddenly felt the urge to go to the Grand Canyon. So I went. Walking along the road from the back, you can see the ruins of the demolished houses, which is very desolate. There is no other scenery except some vegetables and bamboo, but it really makes me like it.

I went alone and was a little scared at first. Later, I saw a rabbit, a dog and several houses. I found another bamboo and wandered around like Song Wu. I was very hungry when I came back, so I went straight to eat. But last night's dream was good. I saw people coming one after another today. I think I have to come back in a week. I have to come back. The winter vacation is coming to an end. How do you feel in your heart? There are some regrets and some excitement.

Yin 2. 12 Sunday

Some students came to see me this morning. The students are really active. There are so many people coming so early, but I have nothing to do all day as before. I went to the Grand Canyon again yesterday. I think I can be an explorer. I went to bed very late last night and got up very late this morning. I'd better watch my movie. It's ok to fight landlords online with former classmates this afternoon.

Today is the fifteenth day of the lunar calendar, which is the Lantern Festival. Hearing the gunshots outside, I felt a little festive, but I was a little uncomfortable without my parents. How time flies. The winter vacation at school doesn't feel like a year, it feels like a second. In a blink of an eye, there is still a week before the real school starts. I have some expectations in my heart, but I still have to study hard. There is no reward for your efforts, and you can't give up your efforts and stop trying!

Rain 2. 15 Wednesday

I went to Bijin Park today, which was very beautiful. Not many people, a little quiet. In addition, it rained just yesterday, so the air is fresh and the water is unusually clear. Birds shuttle between bamboo forests from time to time and occasionally skim the water. They are not very lively, but I can see that they are very happy. Almost all trees are evergreen, so walking in them is a pleasure and cool. I climbed the Bizinta again. I went up alone. I was the only one. Climbing this tower is not interesting, and the scenery is not very beautiful. I just want to play, and I don't care about anything else. The tower can only go up to the eighth floor, but the surrounding buildings are almost as high as the tower, so you can't see any beautiful scenery above the eighth floor, only some buildings with high and low levels are shrouded in a mist, which adds a bit of hazy feeling. The wind is not very strong, almost a little light. Like other places, there are all kinds of words and their meanings engraved or written by people in various ways on columns and railings. This is similar to all places of interest. Only two meanings were expressed. One is when someone has been here to prove that he has been here. Second, it is the love between so-and-so that they hope to last forever or be known by others. This may be a tradition in China for thousands of years. But it can't be of any use, except destroying the scenery. I turned around and came back.

I walked around again when I came back. The students who came here did everything, preparing for the computer test, preparing for the self-study test and preparing for the minor. But I didn't do anything and wasted a lot of time. Seeing the articles published by my classmates in other places, I feel even more guilty and feel that I have nothing. A winter vacation, doing nothing, walking around all day. I didn't minor in it, I didn't take the self-study exam, and I don't plan to take the postgraduate entrance examination. If this continues, how can we meet the elders in Jiangdong? Shame. Shame.

Yin 2. 19 Sunday

The winter vacation is officially over. In the second winter vacation of college, I did almost nothing, didn't know what to do, and had nothing to do. Maybe I should do a lot of things, but I didn't do anything. Time flies. The plan didn't come true, so I thought it was a great failure. Since I failed, I should learn some lessons. But now that it's over, let it go. Tomorrow's day will still pass.

The formal class will begin tomorrow, and I'm not ready yet. What should come will always come. Now that you're here, let's face the reality. There's nowhere to run. Probably because I have experienced too much, so I don't feel anything. I just hope my grades are not too bad and I can get by. There are many unusual things in this semester, such as Band 4, photography and writing, which are particularly wasteful, but the time is only four months. So you can't play like before. Otherwise, I really have no face to meet the elders in Jiangdong. Go to bed early. You can't be late tomorrow morning