How to achieve "people don't know, things have nothing to do with themselves"?

Confucius said, "It's better to keep pace with the times, isn't it? Is it not delightful to have friends coming from distant quarters? Ignorance and dissatisfaction are not gentlemen? " -"The Analects of Confucius Learning and Writing"

This Analects is very important, not because of exams, but because it embodies the fundamental attitude of Confucius in reading-happiness.

Learning and practice is a pleasure, and interacting with others (outside) is a pleasure. When encountering negative voices, we should keep "accepting".

To achieve "people don't know what to worry about", "not suffering from widowhood but suffering from the public, suffering from widowhood but not knowing the public." This is the real gentleman.

From the heart, resort to the mouth, should be done.

In his letter to his son, Fu Lei said: "People who don't know and don't worry about it are the highest achievements in life, which can't be achieved for a while. I didn't keep what critics said in the past, but I was more vigilant. In other words, people should use words to reflect on themselves and seek the opinions of teachers and friends who are really expert and kind. "

There are ups and downs in the entertainment circle. Gossip scandals are very common, and there are many unknown things behind them …

Orfila's performance in this summer's most popular variety "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves" was remarkable, and her debut made people shine.

Before that, she was just a "little transparent" from the time she first appeared in public. Her hosting skills have been criticized, and many people even want her to quit the happy family.

When the negative voice from outside strikes, Orfila will do this: she will put down her face and open her inner world in variety shows, her anxiety, her anxiety, her grievances ... she won't hold it. At the same time, she will also read the comments that accuse her, but it is neither anger nor attacking herself, but-

Organize and think.

I don't blame you for not understanding me; Your good suggestion, I will adopt it. To forgive others is to be kind to yourself.

What a high level and confidence this is!

She was not intimidated by the overwhelming comments on the Internet, nor did she flinch. Instead, I constantly participate in different types of programs such as dance, fashion, outdoor adventure and love, and explore more possibilities for my career.

Reflection is the most precious ability of human beings. I was deeply introspective and didn't complain about other people's ideas. Everything will pass, what is important is that she stands up again, faces her true self and bravely breaks through.

Although I can't reach it, I yearn for it.

Confucius met the poisonous tongue of his idol Yan Zi in Qi State, and all the students were very angry. However, he can still tell Yan Zi's excellent points rationally, and insist on learning Yan Zi's excellent qualities. This is the practice of saints.

We can't reach the realm of saints, but as mothers, employees and managers, we can root this belief in our hearts, savor it from time to time, and often reflect on it until we learn to "self-discipline, control emotions, obey rules, communicate effectively, and be a modest gentleman."

"Others don't know" is normal. It is rare to be "self-sufficient".

How do we deal with misunderstandings and accusations?

There is a story about a monk who was wronged to be the father of the unborn child in order to help a helpless girl, and his reputation was ruined, but he never excused himself. Why?

The monk said: "The monk regards fame and fortune as a thing outside his body, which has nothing to do with being misunderstood by others. It is a good thing to solve the girl's difficulties and save a small life. People who don't know or care are not gentlemen. "

It's better to let time speak, not defend.

When we are misunderstood, we will spend a lot of time arguing, but it is useless. No one will listen, and they will. Many things, to add insult to injury, will only add trouble and be useless.

Time, like water, will make everything precipitate and clear.

Listen more and talk less, and get to the point.

When people judge according to what they see, hear and value, in fact, everyone is right from different angles. Nothing is absolute.

When we have different ideas and opinions, or can't understand each other's ideas, we should do more: shut up, listen more and talk less. Affirm the other person's point of view first, find the part consistent with your own values and affirm it, and then express your ideas in a roundabout way. In fact, the final result that everyone wants is that the problem is solved, so we should focus on the problem first, instead of letting emotions get the upper hand before opening our mouths. As a result, both sides lost and broke up in discord.

Sometimes our heart is good and our behavior is good, but we can't express ourselves well, which leads to misunderstanding. This is actually because we are not perfect. Therefore, what we say is consistent with what we say, and it is from the heart. Be a real person, be yourself and be a real gentleman.

Confucius said, "People don't know and don't worry". Let's change our attitude towards adversity, keep self-examination, lifelong learning and have a growing mentality.

Everyone knows that Zhang Yimou is a great director and artist who went out from Xianyang. He is Xianyang's business card and the pride of Xianyang. However, before his debut, he also went through a very hard and long process.

In an interview with an American cable TV reporter, he was asked: "It is said that in today's film industry, only the word Zhang Yimou is a brand that gathers wealth. Can you tell us how much wealth you have now? "

Zhang Yimou said, "You may not believe it, but my wealth is just an old camera." .

The reporter said: "How is this possible?"

Zhang Yimou said, "I'm telling the truth. Because of my family background, my family has lived in a discriminated environment since childhood. /kloc-when I was 0/8 years old, I was fascinated by photography, but even eating at home was a problem. When I have the money to buy a camera, I will secretly go to the city to sell blood. Finally bought a camera for five months in a row. With it, I have accumulated my fine arts. 1978. It encourages me to constantly challenge adversity, break my destiny and realize the greatest value in life, so I always keep this camera wherever I go, which is my real wealth. "

Zhang Yimou's story is the proof that "people don't know but don't care".

In the face of external difficulties and negative voices, people with growth mentality can find their own resources and exert their creativity to make the impossible possible.

What else can be done at the level of "line"?

1. Learn to improve your structured thinking and train your ability to recognize the world from multiple angles. Learn to put yourself in others' shoes.

2. Train yourself to keep a stable mood, and take dealing with each other's emotions as the premise of communication.

3. Speak with facts and data to reduce the uncertainty of communication and improve communication efficiency and persuasiveness.

4. Establish contact, communicate frankly, and ensure quality with the system. Finding the unity or balance point of values is the basis of solving problems.

5. Accept what we can't change and focus on what we can change. Make peace with yourself and others.

"People don't know and don't worry" actually means that we don't look outside, but seek inside.

Do it yourself, have a clear conscience, and don't care about other people's comments. I didn't do it myself, so I reflected on myself and improved myself.

Life is a kind of practice.

"Anything that can't destroy you will make you strong." -Nietzsche?

When we meet Siqi, we will meet better ourselves!

Can you do "people don't know and don't care"? Welcome to leave your knowledge and stories in the comments section!

postscript

Six thinking hats is a kind of thinking training mode, or comprehensive thinking mode, developed by British scholar Dr. edward de bono. It provides a tool for "parallel thinking" and avoids wasting time arguing with each other. Emphasis is placed on "what can be" rather than "what is itself", and it is to seek the direction of progress rather than arguing about who is right or wrong. The application of Deno's six thinking hats will make chaotic thinking clearer, turn meaningless arguments in groups into brainstorming, and make everyone creative.

"Liumao Village", also known as Liufen Community, was founded by "Village Head" Zhang (WeChat nickname: Mingshashi, 007 non-stop practitioner 007er-70 12, 10 old smoker, founder of Liufen Community)-a form of sharing ideas, with six thinking hats as the underlying thinking logic and collaborative writing. For details, please refer to account number-Six-dimensional Thinking.

Express one's gratitude formally

This article was created by one-sixth of the community and by Jin Xin (police tactical unit).

White hat: Zhou Xiaohui Guo Shuai

Red Hat: He Zhengzhai, Hong Ying

Yellow hat: Zhang

Black hat: Cao Zhibin Wang Jin

Green hat: Li Haili? Dan Zhao

? Six-dimensional thinking-release your thinking energy

Parallel thinking with six thinking hats