Who am I? Asking about my personal data and information

You were born in an ordinary family, with healthy parents, grandparents alive and several uncles and aunts.

Your mother said that when you were born, there was a piece of auspicious cloud in the sky, which gradually changed from far and near to one word: "handsome"!

After seeing you, your father cried at the top of his voice for a month and a half. He killed you and didn't believe that you were the child of his chromosome. He took a kitchen knife and rushed to your mother's bed several times, waving it to cut you into pieces. Your mother used her death to protect you and let you live.

Your grandfather has been suffering from glaucoma for more than ten years, and he can't tell whether it's a man or a dog from a meter away. But when you appeared in front of him, his old man burst into tears and destroyed his eyes, saying that he didn't want to see anyone again, so as to avoid endless future troubles.

Later, in order to prove her innocence, the mother took her father to the hospital for paternity test. The doctor lifted the quilt and cried after only looking at you. He wiped his nose and said, go home. This is not your son's or anyone's. Humans can't have such a handsome child. ...

An intern nurse passed by and saw that you were still a baby. She immediately found a box of red inkpad, printed your fingerprints, spread her hair out at once, and muttered to you: Long hair is for you. If I don't marry you in my life, my long hair will not decrease. I want to clean up the ancient Buddha and comb my hair in my boudoir. ...

Mother hurried out, trotted all the way and accidentally met an old lady. The old lady grabbed her mother and said kindly, "What's the hurry, son? What is difficult? " Don't scare the children ... "

Mother was very upset and pulled the quilt away. As soon as the old lady saw you, she burst into tears, sat down on the ground, shook her head and screamed, "I was born 50 years ago!" " "

Later, when/kloc-was 0/5 years old, he was afraid to go to school. You haven't been to kindergarten for a long time. The children, teachers and dean in the whole park are crazy. Your face was swollen into a watermelon by the little girl's kiss. The aunts beat up the children, not for anything else, just because you were not born in the same era as them. Finally, the military and police were dispatched, which was considered to have calmed the war.

People fish in front of your house all the year round and never come back empty-handed. The most incredible thing is that your home is more than 0/00 kilometers away from the sea/kloc-,but they often catch tuna in the ditch in front of the door and look for turtle eggs behind the haystack. Later, after investigation, I learned that it was because countless women in front of your house cried because they couldn't see me all the year round. Tears are rich in amino acids and protein, which is very suitable for tuna survival and turtle spawning. Over the years, those women's tears have gathered into a small beach. By the time you 15, the beach is already bustling. By the time you 18, the beach has developed more rapidly and is known as the second Hawaii.

Once, you were so bored that you sneaked out of the house at night. You saw the female animal was going to run, but after going out, you didn't chase it except for a scream. If you look back carefully, they all faint on the beach. ...

A superpower formally sued you at the International Court of Justice in The Hague, saying that you ruined the happiness of the first family. It turned out that the President's wife wanted to divorce the President after inadvertently seeing the photos of you when you were 6 years old, creating the first divorce case of an incumbent president in the history of the country. After accepting the case, The Hague International Court of Justice issued a summons to you. After receiving the summons, you expressed your willingness to appear in court, because such a life is really unbearable for you, but the summons was not sent back to the court, because it had your signature on it, so it was taken away by the postman on the way. Later, the postman was sentenced to 122 years in prison.

The CCTV focus interview program group came to interview you, and the photographer fainted three times. The little girl in charge of taking notes wrote Chinese in Italian and Spanish.

When it was broadcast, because the TV station mosaiced your face, many viewers sucked up the TV because they couldn't appreciate your handsomeness. As a result, the number of people who went to the mall to buy TV the next day surged.

In this regard, the United Nations allocated special funds to build a hiding place for you, which is located at the top of Mount Everest in the Himalayas. The news is extremely blocked, and no one in the world knows where you are except your family and Secretary-General Annan.

You enjoy peace, real peace, the blue sky is close to you, and God is at your fingertips. You are quiet, but you are extremely lonely. You stood at the top and shouted: I'm not handsome!

Suddenly, a calm voice came from the sky: no, you are lying.

You said: God, can't you lie to me? ...

You are angry, extremely angry! You ask God: Why do you make me so handsome?

God's serene voice came again: What did you say?

I was limp all over, and I cried. Why am I so handsome?

God was silent. After a while, God spoke: You are always so modest.

At that moment, you want to jump off it. ...

Suddenly, a group of people rushed up the mountain at the foot of the mountain. Later, I learned that Annan had been kidnapped. The grandmother of China, the gangster's mother, was a bridesmaid beside Cixi in the Qing Dynasty. Master is the minister of punishments, and heirlooms are the top ten tortures in Qing Dynasty. Annan is really an epic man. He used the ninth punishment to tell you where you are hiding.

You can't live like this. You will jump off a cliff. You stand on a stone, facing the cliff, hysterically shouting: if you dare to come up, I will jump!

The crowd below stood in silence.

Soon, the crowd began to stir again, and many people jumped off the cliff like possessed, more and more! In the end, only a few people who fainted stayed on the mountain, and the others all jumped off the cliff. When you look down, it turns out that they used their bodies to cushion you, in case you slip and fall. ...

You decided to live for the person who jumped off the cliff. Later, many cancer patients (women) struggled for more than ten years to meet you, and they became anti-cancer stars. Some disabled people (women) have lost their crutches and wheelchairs without seeing you for decades, and some even broke the world 100-meter record several times.

In desperation, the Third World War broke out, and men used atomic bombs to safeguard their dignity. ...

After the explosion, you were the only one who survived in the world, because you were protected in the nuclear protection zone. When you came out, the land was desolate and full of post-war desolation and ruins.

Suddenly, you find life on the ground. It's cockroaches! Cockroaches have more vitality than you think. You hold this cockroach and your eyes are full of tears. The cockroach suddenly trembled all over. When you look around, there is a whole cockroach at your feet, and it's all female! Not far away, all the male cockroaches are eyeing!

No one would have thought that the fourth world war on earth actually happened among cockroaches.

Postscript: Thousands of years after your death, after the birth of mankind, they restored your bones and buried them in the North Pole. Over your tombstone, there is a cloud floating all year round, changing and changing, with only one word: "handsome"!