Your indispensable ability in this era-language communication ability

Why learn to communicate? Isn't communication and expression just talk? I am not stupid. Why can't I talk? Yes, as long as there are no physical problems, we can all talk, but this just means that you can talk, not that you can talk. It can be said to be an instinct, but a skill.

All female friends have the experience of going out to buy clothes with their girlfriends. My girlfriends are very enthusiastic about recommending clothes to us. When we don't like them, we instinctively say "I don't like them".

But when we instinctively say this sentence, you have hurt your best friend, because it is chosen by your best friend and represents her aesthetics. If you just say that you don't like it, you won't recognize her aesthetics, which will lead to your best friend saying, "Well, pick it yourself!" You see, this is an instinctive result, I can only say.

I bought new year's goods for my 7-year-old sister online before. In the process of choosing clothes, I will recommend them clothes that I think are particularly fashionable, but I think children should be trained to choose independently from an early age, so I will respect their own choices.

In this process, I found that my 7-year-old cousin has a great advantage that many adults can't do until now. I recommend her clothes that I think look good. If she doesn't like them, she won't say "I don't like them", but she will happily say "You like this".

Because I am particularly sensitive to language, I was shocked when she said this sentence, because this sentence not only respected my aesthetics, but also perfectly expressed her idea that she didn't want to buy this dress, which made me particularly comfortable. That is to say.

It can be said that it is an instinct, which only pays attention to the speech itself, such as: clever words and eloquent words; Speaking is a kind of ability, focusing on the effect of speaking. The core of language is effect, and effective language is valuable.

So what impact will language have on our lives? I summarize it into four functions. The first is that it enables us to express ourselves correctly.

Once in class, a baby asked me a question and said, "Teacher, look at this pair of shoes my father bought for me. Do you know what my father does? "

I said, "Is it a ski resort?"

She shook her head and said, "No, my father bought me shoes abroad."

When the baby says, "My father bought this for me from abroad," her sentence may be ambiguous, and others will want to say, "Are you trying to say that your father is rich and powerful abroad?"

So I asked her again, "What do you mean?"

The baby hesitated and said, "A heart."

The baby said, "Dad is away on business all the year round and seldom comes back. I can only see him once every six months. "

I said, "Well, honey, what you want to say is that Dad usually works hard abroad and buys shoes for you. You feel very touched. Thank you for your love, don't you? "

The baby said, "Yes."

If I hadn't kept asking the baby at that time, the baby might have misunderstood and had some unnecessary anxiety. This is a situation in which we can't express ourselves in life, so this is the first function of learning language communication, so that we can express ourselves correctly.

The second function is not to hurt others. When I was in the art test in senior three, there was a boy who often said something surprising and would hurt others. For example, once he praised a girl for being white, and as a result, he said, "You are as white as a dead man." As a result, the girl went back and cried all night. He may just want to praise others, or he may just want to make a joke, but because he doesn't know how to express it, you see, it has made girls sad for so long.

Another time, I took pictures with my friends. My friend's mood didn't mobilize at once, because many things happened at home. When filming the first episode, his mood was a little wrong. The cameraman said, "That's a fake smile. Can you be happier? Are you in a bad mood? "

She nodded, and then the photographer said, "What's the matter? Lovelorn? "

The friend said, "No, many things." At this point, the tears in her eyes are already spinning.

Later, in the process of taking pictures, my friend's posture never reached the standard required by the photographer. My friend seldom takes pictures, and he doesn't know how to pose when taking pictures. The photographer said, "Didn't you learn to be a broadcast host?" It should be good at this. "

When he finished these words, my friend's mood became worse and worse, and her personal self-esteem was hurt. She finally stopped filming.

When taking photos, customers should help each other recuperate, joke with her and encourage her, instead of digging up each other's stories. The more you dig each other's stories, the more you feel.

Customers don't know how to pose. The photographer should be persuasive and teach him action, because this is his major, not ours. Don't judge our level by his specialty, which will hurt the customer's self-esteem.

It was a good shot. Although my friend was not in a good mood at first, she was trying to adjust herself. She hopes to take good photos from their common perspective, but inappropriate language will have the opposite effect. As a result, both of them were unhappy, and the photographer even ran away with his own business.

Therefore, when you speak, you should consciously foresee how others will feel when you say this. Otherwise, you will hurt yourself and others more.

The third function is to achieve our goal through language communication.

Once in class, I took my students out for an interview. There is a very young boy and a very young girl. These two children are very picky when interviewing, so they must choose handsome guys and beautiful women for the interview. I asked her if it was good, and she said, "Hmm ~ ~ It's so ugly." This is good: "this is not good-looking."

I finally found a beautiful woman. "Is this good?" She nodded happily. What should we do at this time so as not to let the children down? Can you help young students interview beautiful women smoothly?

At that time, I quickly got an idea that when explaining my intention to the interviewer, don't leave an opening for the other person and then say, "This child is very picky. He has to choose a handsome boy and a beautiful woman to be interviewed. Just now, none of them wanted to interview. When I said that this sister is good, she nodded happily. Can this delay your time? "

After I said this, the other party smiled happily and shyly, and they all actively cooperated with our interview, and no one refused. Think about whether we are handsome or beautiful by others. Are we happy? I simply can't bear to be a cold beauty or a handsome guy! If I don't say those words, maybe many people will say "sorry, I don't have time" and refuse.

The last one who can communicate and express will make you have a good interpersonal relationship.

I went to a class before, and after class, our partners had dinner together.

There is a strong big brother. He told us that "there is no love in this world, all love is desire". The other sister also belongs to the strong type. She said, "I don't agree with what you said. I think there is love in this world, and love is a feeling. "

The eldest brother said, "well, you say there is love in this world, so do you say with your conscience that you love your husband?" How long has it been since you hugged him? "

The elder sister said, "Of course I love my husband. Our love has turned into kinship. I can tell you that we had sex when I came here. In your eyes, I don't know if this is a hug. "

Because everyone is here for dinner, we shouldn't argue like this, and then I gave them a square. I smiled and said, "We all have different beliefs, just like some people believe in Buddhism, others believe in Islam and have different beliefs. Let's respect each other! Today, for a little girl who has never been in love, let's eat first, and we can hold a special debate another day. How interesting it is for everyone to express their opinions like this! "

After I finished, everyone began to eat happily and stopped pestering this topic. Big brother has his own experience, so he has his own opinion. Big sister has her own opinion because of the happiness she feels. There are too many people with different views in this world, but we should learn to respect them.

Later, everyone started to add my WeChat, especially this girl who thinks there is love in this world. After communicating with her, I found that she is the general manager of a company with sales of 654.38+0 billion, and we became very good friends because of my circus. She even wants to introduce me to her son as a daughter-in-law. ...

After talking about the four functions of learning language communication, it is obvious how to learn this problem. Personally, I think there are two things that can help you a lot.

The first is reading. You can read more books about language communication. For example, the most popular book in Fan Deng is nonviolent communication. In addition, you should also read books on psychology, because in order to put words into the other person's heart, you must know what the other person is thinking and what he needs. Influence, First Influence, Persuasion and Details are books that I strongly recommend. I must read them, because these books have improved my language communication ability by more than one level. Just buy it.

The second is that you should always answer questions. Friends around me often say that I grew up at the speed of light, and the secret of my rapid growth is to answer questions every day. What did I say? What did I not say? What should I say if I do it again? Let me share with you how my copy is written, and you can imitate the form.

Many people say, "I don't want it to go so smoothly. I want to be myself. " But I want to tell you that this is not wit, this is not being yourself, but being a better self.

Many times when we speak, we only care about what we say, but have you ever cared about the feelings of others? Do you know that a good word warms three winters and a bad word hurts in June?

Besides helping ourselves, you also take care of other people's feelings. If you are a selfish person, then you can't study. This is also your freedom, and I have no right to interfere with your freedom.