"I am very lucky that I bought a house before I got married." What are the women who buy houses thinking?

Introduction:

Buying a house has now become a necessity. In my parents’ time, the “three big things” necessary for marriage were still “three turns and one ring” – bicycles, watches, and sewing machines. , and radios. At that time, families who had these things were envied by others.

In the 1980s, washing machines, refrigerators, color TVs, and units were divided into rooms. The "old three" quietly abdicated and the "new three" took their place. Weddings were glorious and life gradually got better. .

In our era, when living standards have improved and prices and housing prices have risen rapidly, the "three big things" have become houses, cars, and bills. These are closely related to people's lives and are of greatest value.

A house has now become a rigid necessity of married life and a must-have for couples. To a certain extent, it determines the stability and sense of belonging of married couples, as well as the quality of married life. So we know that men must buy a house when they get married, but what about women?

What are those women thinking when they buy a house?

Buying a house is a necessity for men when they get married. This has become a continuing wedding custom. So is it necessary for women to buy a house?

01. Shanshan: I am very lucky that I bought a house before I got married.

Growing up, I have never been favored by my parents because I have a mistress. year old brother. After working, I plan carefully every month and save all the money.

Later, I insisted on paying the down payment to buy a small apartment. My brother also bought a house in the same year, and it was paid for by his parents. Since I couldn't come up with money to help my younger brother, my mother scolded me all day long, saying that I didn't look like a sister, and that girls only need to get married, and buying a house was too much.

All the money was used to collect the down payment. When it came time to renovate, there was no money left. My mother cursed me and refused to let my father and brother control me. On the other hand, since I got married late and still lived at home, my mother kept urging me in different ways every day, directly saying: "You should get married quickly and move out! Don't occupy the room, it's all reserved for your brother!"< /p>

Today, I am very glad that I insisted on buying a house, because I know that there is no one behind me, and once I get divorced, there will be no place for me in my natal family.

02. Yanyan: The house is the reason for my quarrels

My husband met on a blind date, and the family conditions are not bad, so my parents are very satisfied and urge me to get married, so I Saying that some people are always unhappy anyway, why not make your parents happy. I am very filial, mainly because I don’t want my parents to worry too much about me.

Because I was about to get married, I didn’t really have any expectations for this marriage. Therefore, before getting married, I paid the down payment myself to buy a two-bedroom apartment. Whenever we have a serious quarrel and I feel that we both need to calm down, I will move to my own house to live for a few days. It is really relaxing and comfortable in my own little nest.

After I had a child, my house was closer to the kindergarten, so my husband suggested that we move here together. Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law insisted on living here even though she wanted to help with the children.

I am not afraid of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, nor are I afraid of quarrels between husband and wife. People's kindness is mutual. If they are good to me, I will naturally be good to them. But if they behave like monsters, don't blame me for being rude. I can just throw their luggage out and shout out loud: "This is my home, get out of my home."

Also Fortunately, my family is much more harmonious now, which I think is good. This way, even if there are any problems in my marriage, I won't be afraid. I won't settle for anything just because I have nowhere to go. My house is my foundation.

03. An Ning: You have to stand at a certain height for others to appreciate you

Many people say that I am a very rational woman, so rational that I don’t even look like a woman. . Two days ago, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. I was very moved, but refused.

Do you like him? I do like her very much. We have been together for so many years, and our feelings are there. But when it comes to getting married, I don't want to. It's not his fault, it's me. Now I don't have a car, a house, or a deposit.

It sounds a bit strange, but that’s what I think. A house, a car, and a deposit are the foundation for my marriage. If there is nothing, I will be dependent on him for survival. There is no right to speak or take the initiative at home. I want to be fearless when quarreling or even talking about divorce.

It’s not that I don’t trust his feelings, but I think: you have to stand at a certain height before others will appreciate you. Only when you are on an equal footing can the other party be able to give you enough. respect. It is almost impossible to have everything when you have nothing.

4. Mayfair: I am myself only in my own nest

Before getting married, I was a literary person who loved beauty, dressing up, photography and traveling. Girl, after getting married, I take care of the children, do the housework, and earn money to support the family. My mother-in-law is still picky, and my husband is like a hands-off shopkeeper who doesn't care about anything except work.

I no longer have time to put on elaborate makeup, nor do I have the time to dress up, let alone photography and travel. I gradually discovered that I was no longer myself. I had lost myself in my marriage. I could be a good daughter-in-law, a good wife, and a good mother, but I was no longer myself.

I wanted to find some time for myself, so I tidied up a room at home and gave myself a day off every Sunday afternoon. I told my husband to take care of the children and not to disturb me, whether I was in my private room or outside.

My husband agreed very well, but he kept knocking on the door. In the end, my exclusive space was still occupied by my children. Even when I was shooting outside, I always received calls from my husband and had to go home again.

Finally, I bought a small house outside without telling anyone at home. In my free time, I can read novels, listen to music, draw, watch movies, take photos, and enjoy time with my best friends. I feel that only in my own private nest can I be myself.

What kind of woman is best suited to have her own room?

When a younger brother in your native family gets married, your natal family will be your support and a place that can continue to protect you after you suffer grievances. But if there is a native family that values ??boys over girls, I am afraid that they will bring all the storms.

If you have no status in your natal family and have a pair of parents who think that "a married daughter throws away water", your in-laws' family who doesn't respect you will oppress you unscrupulously when they know that you have no backing, because they know that you I have nowhere to go and I dare not get divorced.

Once you get divorced, there will be no place for you in your natal family. You cannot go back to live in your natal family and can only rent a house by yourself. If you still have children, life will be even more difficult. Therefore, one house is yours. The escape route is the minimum guarantee for living alone in the future.

The relationship with your boyfriend is weak and you have no status in your husband's family. If you have a weak relationship with your boyfriend before marriage and get married just to make ends meet, if you don't get along well after marriage, there is a high probability that you will continue to quarrel and eventually lead to divorce.

The same is true if you have no status in your husband's family, are not respected, and your boyfriend still doesn't protect you. A woman's status after marriage is determined by the man's attitude.

In some families, the daughter has always been their little princess before getting married. Even if they get divorced after marriage, they have nothing to do with them, let alone return to their parents' home. They may be afraid of neighbors gossiping and being embarrassed. , the second is that the younger brother has a sister-in-law, and the sister-in-law will be unhappy, and the third is that it is too troublesome. Therefore, the house is a retreat for yourself, and it allows you to have the right to choose and take the initiative when you are wronged.

3. Independent women

Want to occupy a dominant position in the family, have the right to speak, want to prove to the people around them that they are no worse than their husbands, and also want men to appreciate themselves. There will no longer be a sense of superiority that "only men are the breadwinners of the family, and women can only support their husbands and raise children."

Conclusion:

In fact, when it comes to women buying houses, they still have to act within their capabilities. Today, with rising housing prices, it will indeed bring a lot of realistic pressure.

Compared to buying a house, women’s spiritual and financial independence are more important in marriage. Love yourself well.