Unknowingly, I am almost 50 years old. Who shares my fear of aging?

Everyone has the fear of aging.

In the sunset, many old people gathered spontaneously in the park to discuss topics of concern. Shanghai, 2017

How to grow old: Are you afraid of aging?

Preface

Recently, when many media and new media reported on Jia Zhangke's new film "Where Has the Time Gone", they excerpted one of his words as the title: Only aging cannot be cured. Although the content of the article was more about movies, the title left a deep impression on me. The implication here is clear-aging is the ultimate human disease.

Translator Ma Zhencheng gave us his translation of "Essays on Montaigne". Michel de Montaigne, a French philosopher in the sixteenth century, wrote a very Interesting "On Lifespan": "Human beings will encounter various accidents in the natural environment, which will abruptly interrupt the life they originally expected... To die at the end of one's life is a rare, special, and extraordinary death, inferior to other deaths. Nature; this is the last and ultimate death, which is the farthest from us, and therefore the most difficult for us to expect." This was the view of life and death more than four hundred years ago, but as human beings are getting further and further away from nature, life has become more and more difficult. "Old age and frailty" has become the norm, at least in more developed countries and regions.

Shen Meiying, 88 years old at the time of filming, retired. Shanghai, 2013

Elderly day care center arranges activities for the elderly. Shanghai, 2013

In the 21st century, aging is one of the most common physical experiences. Regardless of gender, ethnicity, culture, belief and social role, most people cannot avoid this process. In people's usual concepts, there is always an indescribable regret for the assumption that "beautiful women grow old". Behind this "light sadness" that has been written about by literati is actually a cruel metaphor, that is, old age is the opposite of all "valuable things": youth, beauty, strength... In Yang Tianyi's 2000 documentary "Old Man" In the film, the director boldly revealed the metaphor behind aging. On the edge of a community, a group of old men gather together to relieve boredom. Day after day, this picture cannot be said to be miserable, but it is equally scary.

Old photos. Shanghai, 2012

After all, aging is not just about wrinkles or muscles becoming flabby, nor is it just about slower and slower body reactions and taking more and more drugs, it is also about the identity role. repositioning. In families, aging parents change from providers to dependents, although in cities, a larger proportion of the elderly do not need financial support from their children, but rely more on their spiritual care. In society, the elderly group inevitably loses part of their voice after leaving the workforce. Therefore, the possibility of living to old age and losing strength is not the luck that people seek, but the experience of being feared early. Moreover, the mass media is still spreading this fear intentionally or unintentionally, from "lonely" to "left behind". From reports of misery to ridicule or self-deprecation for the use of thermos bottles, the word "old" has become a diffuse panic.

Wu Peizhen, 79 years old at the time of filming, retired. Shanghai, 2012

"I know I have cancer, I bear it, (hope) God will accept me... I just want my soul to be saved in the final analysis."

Running around peace is like nourishment. cat. Shanghai, 2017

Rao Pingru, 95 years old at the time of filming, retired. After the death of his lover, he commemorated it in the form of comic strips and published "Ping Ru Meitang: The Story of Us". Shanghai, 2017

“As for life and death, I am mentally prepared for death. Death is also a thing, and major events in life require preparation. After my wife passed away, I bought a tomb and the tombstone was also The carving is done, but her ashes have not been buried yet. I told the children that after I die, my ashes and (my wife’s ashes) will be mixed together, and they will be buried in the same cave. But I have seen it. One tomb cannot hold the ashes of two people, so what should I do? I said, put our ashes together, take one-half of them in, and scatter the other half into the Huangpu River... hold a memorial service. If I ask others to write the elegiac couplet, it may not be to my liking, so I wrote it myself - I should laugh and live my life - I told the children, don't cry when I die, I am already very lucky. , 95 years old, he is not dead yet, he should laugh."

Mindset

I dare not say that Mr. Rao Pingru is not afraid of death. I think there may be no one in this world. Who can really be unafraid of death? This is also a kind of reverence for life. But after choosing to accept the fact that he will eventually die, I think Mr. Rao Pingru's life is more interesting. There is nothing to avoid, and he has the initiative in his own life. At the age of 94 (date of interview: 2017), he sat down in front of the electronic piano and insisted on playing a song for us. In front of the piano are various trophies he has won. But he knew very well: "I don't play well. They encouraged me to still play the piano at such an old age, so they awarded me a 'Music Dream Award.'" After the baptism of time, the battlefield of the past is no longer there, and the comrades in the past are no longer there. Leaving one by one, if it weren't for this positive attitude, how could I have lived such a wonderful life in my later years.

Wu Litian, who also has a positive attitude towards life, taught herself painting and picked it up at her fingertips. Even the wrapping paper of traditional Chinese medicine can be used as her drawing paper. Peonies, pumpkins, vines... these plants that she can see from the window are blooming in her paintings. She dropped out of school due to the changing times in her early years and even experienced various hardships in the past, which eventually became the red flowers and green leaves in her works. The memory is still fresh and the sadness is no longer there. "At my age, for people who are about to die, one day of living is equivalent to one day of earning."

Wu Litian, 83 years old when the photo was taken, taught herself painting after retirement. While recovering from cancer, she sold her real estate. Donate to Hope Primary School. Shanghai, 2012

“For my fortune, fortune tellers said that my life has been bumpy and not smooth... I always feel that I can bear it mentally and I am accustomed to bear it. If it doesn’t work, I will try again. I don’t get angry or anxious to try again for the second or third time, I will always succeed. But the best result is that I find that I often find a way out of a desperate situation, and there is no way out, and there is always a bright future in the village. I already feel that there is no road ahead, and when the time comes, it will pass again, so I am not too anxious. I already know that if I can’t make it, I can’t make it. I will hold my head up when the sky falls. This is my mentality. ”

< p>Old handwritten sheet music. Shanghai, 2012

Shen Meibao, 91 years old at the time of filming. She was illiterate and believed in God. In order to read the Bible, she began to learn to read when she was old. During the filming, she lived in a nursing home sponsored by a church on the outskirts of the city. Shanghai, 2013

Study

97-year-old Fei Henian and 96-year-old Xu Manqian (interview time: 2012) both graduated from Shanghai Jiao Tong University in their early years, and both of them have a strong thirst for knowledge. , a person with strong hands-on ability. At the age of 73, Mr. Fei went to the United States to visit relatives and went to college again, majoring in American history. At a coffee party spontaneously organized by old alumni of Jiaotong University, these old people who graduated in the 1930s and 1940s were all in high spirits, which even put the young people to shame. I thought that as I get older, my ability to accept new things will naturally decline, but I didn't expect that there are such a group of old people who are very proficient in operating new gadgets such as the Internet, Photoshop, and Skype. Perhaps the ability to accept new things has nothing to do with age, but rather is related to the early formation of learning ability and one's own curiosity? I can’t help but think, will our generation of young people in the “Internet Age” be able to accept newer times and things like these older people when we grow old? What matters now is not that you know how to operate mobile phones and computers, but whether you have the ability to learn - this is the fundamental factor that will not become obsolete as the times change.

Fei Henian (right) and Xu Manqian (left) were 97 and 96 years old respectively when the photo was taken. Shanghai, 2013

"The times are advancing anyway, so you have to progress with the times. This is how we are, we must keep up with the times." - Fei Henian

Jin Bocheng , 88 years old at the time of filming. He was the first deputy general manager of Sino-American Shanghai Bristol-Myers Squibb. Shanghai, 2012

Chen Liangting (left) and Liu Wenlan (right) were 88 and 87 years old respectively when the photo was taken. Famous translators, the couple's joint translations include "The Maltese Hawk", "The Godfather", "Sons and Lovers", "Samara Rendezvous", "Caldwell's Selected Novels and Novels", "Odets' Selected Plays", "Nani" Asia Legend". In addition, Chen Liangting also translated Arthur Miller's "All My Sons" and Tennessee Williams's "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof", and co-translated "Tom Sawyer Abroad" and "Troubled Times" "Beauty", "The Collected Short Stories of Edgar Allan Poe", "The Complete Short Stories of Hemingway (Volume 1)", "Eugene O'Neill's Plays: A New Evaluation", etc. Shanghai, 2017

Zhang Zhi, 88 years old at the time of filming. The first generation of female announcers in New China still often participates in various performances. Shanghai, 2017

Wu Litian’s paintings, Shanghai 2012

Content

Both Mr. Fei and Mr. Xu have suffered from the turbulent times, but Mr. Fei But he repeatedly told us: "Don't talk about the past anymore." Although there are no traces of the past in the lives of the couple, perhaps this cautious attitude in words and deeds is also an indelible imprint left on them by the years, right? When the couple was intoxicated by the old song "Silver Threads Among the Gold" playing on the iPad and hummed a few lines from time to time, their contentment with life was truly touching. As Mr. Fei said, "As long as you remember that today belongs to me, don't worry about tomorrow!" The same thing was said by Zhang Zongde, who once taught in primary school. The hardships left to him by the times have made him reluctant to watch TV programs that record relevant history. "I feel very happy now. I just want to live a good life today. I am happy every day, no matter what tomorrow!" Once Teacher Ma Zhenpin, who has translated many of Montaigne's works, quoted Montaigne's words: The greatest happiness is no pain or itching in the body and no thoughts in the mind. "There are many happy things in the world. If you want to be involved in every one of them, it is impossible. I advocate letting happy things find you instead of pursuing them desperately."

"Life Just like a river, people don’t know how they will end until they live to the last day.” Teacher Ma Zhenpin described his understanding of age in this way. It’s not certain yet that everything has reached the end.

This determination can be felt in many conversations with the elderly. Despite being old, they are in no hurry. "Today's young people have too much energy!" Mr. Ma joked. Although he "can't stand it", Mr. Ma can take it calmly. Deep down in his heart, he believed that time would leave behind the things worth keeping and wash away those impurities. Everything is just a matter of time. Academician Zheng Shiling recalled that when he was young, “there were few opportunities and few temptations, but times are different now.” Perhaps it is precisely because they had few choices in the past that they are now more able to face gains and losses and the complexity of life indifferently. They all treat the past and the present with a normal mind. No one really thinks they are "great", and no one really cares about the suffering they suffered in the past. Their lives seem to be how they should be. By accepting the arrangements of fate, they will have inner peace and be able to live with their heart.

Ma Zhencheng, 82 years old at the time of filming. French translator who still works non-stop. Shanghai, 2016

“So this is what you say, it’s not up to you, right? So (Montaigne’s philosophy) advises people to be calm about life... What he said the most What’s a good sentence? (I think it’s this sentence,) Death is possible for everyone, and a 70-year-old person may not die earlier than a 30-year-old person.”

Zheng Shiling, 71 years old at the time of filming. Architects, planners. Shanghai, 2012

“When I went abroad when I was young, I was always in a hurry and looking everywhere. As I get older, I am not in a hurry anymore. I would rather sit down and drink a cup of coffee than rush to see the scenery.”

Betty Barr, 79 years old at the time of filming. The British man experienced the Japanese concentration camp in Shanghai during the Anti-Japanese War. He worked as a foreign teacher at Shanghai International Studies University in the 1970s until his retirement. He obtained a permanent residence permit in China and considered himself "rooted in Shanghai." Shanghai, 2012

"As long as you have some interesting things to do, are healthy, and make some friends of the same age or younger, getting older is no big deal!"

Individual

Most of the elders of this generation have experienced that turbulent era, which had different impacts on everyone. Some lucky people who are "well-born" suffer relatively less hardships. But whether they join the military or work in state-owned units, it may not be until the reform and opening up, or even until they retire at home, that they begin to have some "private thoughts." Xiao Xingwei, who was engaged in fabric pattern design at the No. 7 Printing and Dyeing Factory in Shanghai, entered the Shanghai Art College in 1960 and was a classmate of the great painter Chen Yifei. He also studied oil painting and Chinese painting. When he graduated, he was assigned to a printing and dyeing factory, and he began his "arts and crafts" career by painting six pictures a month. In addition to flowers, he painted terraced fields, tractors, and the radiant Tiananmen Square. "These are political needs. We must serve the workers, peasants and soldiers." It was not until 2005 that he picked up a paintbrush to "paint for himself" for the first time. This was something he never dared to think about before. "When I was in the work unit, we were members of the country. Now I belong to myself. I can draw whatever I want. I am completely free and open. No one cares about me anymore!"

Xiao Xingwei, 74 years old at the time of the shooting. After retiring from the printing and dyeing industry, he picked up a paintbrush to paint for himself and held many art exhibitions. Shanghai, 2013

Shao Jinhua, 80 years old at the time of filming. When he was young, he was an engineer at Shanghai Shipyard and an expert in propeller manufacturing. After retirement, he enjoyed making ship models. Shanghai, 2012

Group

Walk into the Renaissance Yu Garden Hotel near the Bund, take the elevator to the top floor, then go through a small door, climb up the stairs, and you can faintly hear Melodious music. The music becomes clearer and louder, and you arrive at the bar upstairs, where a group of fashionably dressed old people are dancing. The bands and singers on stage are all elderly. A tall and elegant old lady caught our attention. She used to be a physical education teacher in school, and her family members were all away from home. The monthly gathering in this bar was undoubtedly an important social interaction for her. Like her, most elderly people like to live in groups. In the 1919 Cafe on Urumqi Middle Road, old alumni of Shanghai Jiao Tong University often gather and meet for breakfast. There are also elderly people who have found a new circle of friends because of their personal interests developed after retirement. For example, Zhang Zongde, who loves cycling, now associates with old people who also like cycling like him. Gu Rumei, who once fell from a rich family to a female worker in a tobacco factory, started a writing salon in her home after taking a writing class at a senior college. She held activities two days a week and became a "salon hostess". Even Cao Peng, who always says that he has no time and usually works alone and does not interact with his peers, may like to communicate with young people and children who are decades younger than him. Standing in the crowd may be the moment when he finds himself.

Every Sunday starting at 2 pm, the Hawaiian dance party on the top floor of Renaissance Shanghai Yuyuan Hotel has become an important social place for "Old Koehlers". Shanghai, 2017

The star of the Hawaiian Ball. Shanghai, 2017

Hawaiian Ball. Shanghai, 2017

Gu Rumei, 85 years old at the time of filming. He took a writing class at the University for the Elderly and published an autobiography. Shanghai, 2012

Shanghai University for the Elderly. Shanghai, 2012

Hongkou Park (Lu Xun Park) has a rich ecosystem for the elderly. In the afternoon, some elderly people come to play with musical instruments, which always attracts onlookers.

Shanghai, 2017

Some elderly people in Hongkou Park have spontaneously formed different "societies" and are active in different areas of the park. Elderly people practicing Erhu occupy the benches outside the teahouse. Shanghai, 2017

Old men playing badminton in Hongkou Park. Shanghai, 2017

Fuxing Park, once the largest park in the Shanghai Concession, is the most famous French-style park in the city, and now it has become a favorite place for fashionable old people. Shanghai, 2017

The "Longevity Chorus" in Fuxing Park is undoubtedly a business card. Many elderly people who have moved to the suburbs due to demolition still travel across the city to participate in the chorus every day. They have full-time There are accompanists and conductors, and there are people who are responsible for hand-copying music scores. Shanghai, 2017

Beside the large lawn of Fuxing Park is the "territory" of saxophone learners. Shanghai, 2017

On the Central Avenue of Fuxing Park, at one end are old people practicing Tai Chi. Shanghai, 2017

At the other end of the avenue in Fuxing Park, elderly people danced in pairs. Shanghai, 2017

Career

“Retirement” may be a new word to some elderly people. Cao Jingxing, who has just turned 70 this year (interview time: 2017), is a well-known host and has recently participated in the coverage of the "Two Sessions". Regarding "oldness", Cao Jingxing actually felt it as early as 2005. That summer, he went to Tsinghua University to film the military training of freshmen. When a little girl saw him, she greeted him as "Grandpa." That was the first time he was called that. Despite this, Cao Jingxing's enthusiasm for work is no less than that of young people. In 2009, when he was 62 years old, he resigned from Phoenix Satellite TV and decided to "go it alone": Internet radio commentator, TV station special reporter, school guidance expert, traveling to 15 countries a year to film TV programs... This elderly "freedom" There’s a lot of work for “professionals”! These are not enough, every morning or late at night when I open the circle of friends, I can always see a friend nicknamed "Lao Cao" "swiping the screen". Frequently forwarding more than 50 or even nearly a hundred messages is Mr. Cao's latest experiment - "I think WeChat can also be turned into a channel, that is, a channel hosted by me." Every day, he will post what he thinks is worth watching. Centralized forwarding of content has been practiced for nearly two years. According to his estimate, he spends 5 or 6 hours on WeChat every day. Of course, he is someone who knows how to use sporadic time.

Cao Jingxing, 70 years old at the time of filming. Host, Distinguished Professor of Shanghai International Studies University. Shanghai, 2017

“I eat very quickly, and I don’t need too many complicated things. I eat very simply, and my clothes are very simple, which is fine. There is nothing cumbersome in my life. I spend the rest of my time in this study. This is my biggest and most luxurious thing.”

Old double bassist Zheng Deren conducted the double bass performance at the Shanghai Concert Hall for the Sunday Radio Concert, in the Peace Hotel bar in the early 1990s. When he began to receive foreign guests again, he participated in the formation of a senior jazz band. Shanghai, 2015

The 82-year-old teacher Ma Zhenpin (interview time: 2016), who is also busy on the front line, is an important French translator in my country. After his retirement, he also translated Simone de Beauvoir's book "Tous les hommes sont mortels" (Everyone is Mortal), and he is best known as the translator of Montaigne's works. "Montaigne once said that until you live to the last day, you won't know how you ended up." Probably because of this spiritual support, Mr. Ma sat at his desk every day and kept writing.

The 92-year-old conductor Cao Peng (interview time: 2017) is still active on the front line of work. With the support of his daughter, he founded the Shanghai City Symphony Orchestra (hereinafter referred to as "City Orchestra") to guide non-professional music lovers and children. "When I'm not working, my head is filled with music." During a performance in Hangzhou two years ago, he felt physically exhausted for the first time, but he actually had to go on stage to conduct while sitting in a wheelchair and holding an needle. At the climax of the performance, Cao Peng suddenly stood up with excitement. A local photographer captured this touching scene. This kind of persistent pursuit of career may not be matched by many young people. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder, these wise old people are reluctant to stop when faced with work. Do they enjoy the fun of work, or are they afraid of the loneliness of stopping? Maybe a bit of both?

Careful

“Never compromise on quality, never compromise on style”, this is Cao Peng’s life principle. It’s no wonder that although the Chengjiao orchestra he conducts is not a professional orchestra, its level is no less than that of some professional orchestras. During the interview, the elderly people’s serious attitude towards everything was touching. Before visiting the Chinese architecture expert Academician Zheng Shiling, the then 71-year-old (interview time: 2012) had already sent us an article about himself to let us know in advance. He himself read the interview outline carefully in advance and printed out the outline. come out. "You must do what you promise others," this principle has never changed in him. Not long ago, at the Shanghai Urban Space Art Season exhibition held at Pudong Minsheng Wharf, I saw Academician Zheng Shiling listening to two curators reporting on their work. That is definitely not "going out", nor is it just for "selfies" to be posted on WeChat Moments.

Compared with many "efficient" young translators, the experienced Professor Ma Zhenpin only translates two or three pages a day. In order to ensure the accuracy of translation, he does not rush. "I have to have perseverance in doing things, do it every day, every day." This is how the rigor of study and the diligent attitude in work are passed down from generation to generation.

Cao Peng, 92 years old at the time of filming. conductor. Shanghai, 2017

“Being with music, being with young people, and being with my family is the source of my happiness... I work hard every day, gain every day, and enjoy every day.”

Time

I contacted the famous voice actor Cao Lei in March 2017, and it was already the end of October when I actually rang her doorbell with a camera at the age of 77 (time of interview : 2017) Teacher Cao Lei’s schedule is very busy as one can imagine. Although she retired from Shanghai Film Dubbing Studio, she continues to dub for dubbed films - although people in big cities such as Beijing and Shanghai have become accustomed to watching original films with subtitles, there are still people in second- and third-tier cities watching dubbed films. piece. In addition, Teacher Cao has also returned to the drama stage, and her role as Soong Ching Ling is both physical and spiritual. As recitations heated up, Cao Lei continued to receive invitations to recite on stage. She also worked with Russian pianist Andrey Pisarev to develop a form of collaboration between recitation and music, starting from Chai From Kovsky's "Four Seasons" suite to "One Night with Chopin", Cao Lei introduced the Chinese audience to the Russian music world through recitation before the concert. In a recent performance, Cao Lei used the prize money she won from a TV show to buy tickets for children at a school for blind children in Shanghai. She said that these blind children are actually the best audiences.

At Teacher Cao Lei’s home, she took out her calendar and saw that October was almost full. In order for her to take an occasional break, her husband Li Deming had to arrange for the two of them two months in advance. Travel plans, such as the past July, they spent two weeks on a cruise in the Mediterranean. Anyone who walks into Cao Lei's home will first be attracted by a magnetic board in the entrance, which is covered with refrigerator magnets collected from famous places around the world. These are all harvests from their travels. Behind the busy schedule is Teacher Cao Lei's cherishment of time. In many media reports, she was called a person who "lived two lifetimes." In the early 1980s, when Cao Lei had just recovered from ten years of catastrophe and returned to her beloved acting career, she was actually found out. malignant tumors. While undergoing surgery and recovering in hospital, Cao Lei worked hard to find some happiness with her fellow patients. However, after she was discharged from the hospital, she still had a sense of urgency about life. At that time, the unit planned to take care of the sick patients, but she asked to be transferred to the Shanghai Film Translation (film) Factory. As a full-time voice actor, she continues her passionate career behind the scenes.

As for people’s imagined vision of retiring early after earning enough money, Mr. Cao Lei asked: “What will you do after retirement?” - “When I got cancer in my 40s, I thought this My life is coming to an end, and I didn’t expect that there would be another life ahead of me.” For these “found” times, she believes that they must be spent on things that she really wants to do and that are valuable. “It feels like something that has been lost and found.” It’s extremely precious, and so is this time, but should the precious time just be spent lying around all day, trying to figure out how to eat well? - Even if you eat too much, your blood sugar will be high. So you have to be interesting in life and do something. I feel like I haven’t spent a day in vain.”

Cao Lei, 77 years old at the time of filming. Famous voice actor. Shanghai, 2017

“I am engaged in sound art. At this age, as long as I can move, (try to do things that) I want to do but have not had the opportunity to do in the past... I think , Life must be interesting, and you must do something to feel that your day has not been in vain.”

Teacher Cao Lei’s calendar. Shanghai, 2017

The three parts "Preface", "Body" and "Time" in the above text were written by me, and the middle parts were all written by Li Jun. We had higher goals for the format of this story—something like what photographer Rob Hornstra and writer and filmmaker Arnold Van Bruggen did in "The Sochi Project: An Atlas of War and Tourism in The Caucasus" was jointly completed from 2009 to 2013, but unfortunately, in the end we could only do As it stands now, in fact, everyone's story is far more than just a few sentences written. I hope there will be time to settle down and write more interesting and inspiring content.