At the age of 33, I finally let go of myself.

Yesterday, I saw an article on the official account of WeChat, a blogger. I was particularly impressed by a sentence in the article. She said; "I am very satisfied with myself. I am the kind of "self-satisfaction" that has never been seen before, and I am happier than finding a job with a monthly salary of over 10,000 when I was in my twenties. "

To tell the truth, I'm in my twenties, and I'm one-track-minded, thinking about it every day; "work! Work! I want to work hard! The company is my home and the leader is my mother. "

But now it's different, and now I think more; What can I do to make my life more exciting?

When I saw this sentence, I was very envious of her in my heart. I know it is not easy to say that I am satisfied with myself.

At the same time, I also asked myself silently, am I satisfied with myself? However, I don't have the courage to say satisfied.

And the question behind her made me lost in thought.

When I was in my twenties, I also seriously thought about this problem. What can I do to make my life more exciting?

I flipped through my circle of friends, and I once wrote a paragraph;

Later, I gradually realized that the root of most contradictions and pains is actually uncontrollable and lingering desires and obsessions. Letting go and thinking hard are the biggest stumbling blocks that hinder you from moving towards happiness and light.

If the length of life can't be controlled, what we can do is to broaden its width and enrich and enjoy every day as much as possible.

Don't embarrass yourself, don't compete with others, and find the best balance between life and desire.

Now it seems that I am not as transparent as I was in my twenties.

I carefully recalled the eleven years since I graduated from college, 20 1 1-2022. When I was in my twenties, I worked hard, but at that time, I worked hard to prove that I was no worse than anyone else.

How hard do I work?

1. When I was doing telephone customer service in a logistics company,

When I was an intern in Ningbo Jiaji Logistics Company, I was in charge of high-security goods. It takes several hours to do table statistics every day. From 8 o'clock to noon, everyone else went to eat, and I haven't finished eating yet.

It often takes 1 to finish reading.

First, because I was there at first, I was not skilled, and second, because I really had a lot of things to deal with. Lazy people have lazy ways. When I was not skilled enough to improve my speed, I used the most stupid method.

I go to work more than an hour earlier than others every day. I have been there once, and the company door is not open. I went through the window. The office address is on the first floor, so there is no danger.

Later, I was able to handle everything in 2 hours, and the manager of our customer service department and the assistant to the general manager liked me very much.

Later, when the work was transferred, it was necessary to rotate the work between customer service to facilitate the change of work.

I switched to another customer service and found her job particularly easy. All she has to do is register the reserved vehicle list. But it's hard for her to do my job.

She often works on that form until three or four o'clock in the afternoon. Until a month later, she still needs such a long time. So at a meeting, the manager criticized her; Even name names; It's been a month, and your efficiency is still so low. Why can Xiao Xie take care of the whole department in two hours?

That was the first time I was praised by name. I heard that until a few years after leaving my job, the customer service manager often used me as an example to encourage everyone. I'm really trying. During the internship, I was promoted to full membership in advance the following month.

I have been doing telephone customer service for half a year, and I really haven't received any complaints.

2.？ When I was doing e-commerce English customer service,

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After graduating from college, I was like a headless fly, and I didn't know what to do. By chance, my friend introduced me to engage in foreign trade e-commerce and do customer service on ebay. I am not an English major, but a startup company.

At that time, I just thought it was an opportunity. I want to work hard and seize the opportunity. I can't let others look down on me, and I can't embarrass the introducer.

So, I spent a few days reading nearly 3000 emails from my boss. I summarized the common problems I encountered according to the email and made my own data.

This is just the beginning. Every time I encounter a problem, I just copy the email that my boss replied before and modify it slightly. In order to be more proficient, I get up at 6: 20 every day and study English for more than an hour.

Later, I became more and more skilled and began to have my own system. In order to improve myself, I go to offline English institutions for training and practice my spoken English.

Work during the day and study at night and weekends. I worked in that startup company for three years. Based on these three years, I entered a large foreign trade company with more than 20 customer service. Only I am a junior college student, and I haven't even passed CET-4.

But my work efficiency and quality have always been top-notch, and I have been a team leader for more than a year.

At that time, I never cared that I did a lot of things. I just wanted to work hard to make money and take some pressure for my family.

But also to prove that I am really not bad, maybe you won't understand, as a less than 1.5 meters? Dear me, how many troubles and blows my height has brought me.

Because of my height and growing experience, I always want to prove to you that I can do what others can do. Even if you have to work twice as hard as others.

Until 20 16, I refused the customer service supervisor of a foreign trade company to go back to Changsha, and then bought the house I live in now.

3. I transformed into a domestic e-commerce customer service.

/kloc-in 0/6, my sister joined my aunt's startup and asked me to help. After weighing, I returned to Changsha, thinking that it would be closer to home.

I have worked for my sister for more than 2 years. From doing customer service by myself to leading the customer service team, it is no exaggeration to say that 90% of the customers I have served are satisfied with my service.

My sales for half a month are more than the sales of customer service for one month, or even more.

Later, I managed Alibaba myself, and I developed all Alibaba's customers. They are still on my WeChat.

Looking back on it, I didn't mean to brag about how powerful I was. Actually, I'm not very good. During my five years in Shenzhen, I didn't get a salary of over 10,000 yuan per month, but when I accumulated five years of experience and the salary of over 10,000 yuan per month was within reach, I chose to go back to Changsha.

But I have no regrets. What I learned in those five years was never measured by money.

If I have to choose again now, I will still work hard, even harder, when I am in my twenties.

4. When I slow down,

After returning to Changsha, the pace slowed down a lot and I began to have more time to do some interesting things.

In my later company in Shenzhen, I joined badminton club, yoga club and long-distance running club. It was also there that I began to fall in love with running. Every time I run, I usually chat with Ada, Katie and Vivian. Run 10 km.

After returning to Changsha, for a long time, I started running after 6 o'clock, 5 kilometers a day, and sometimes it was 10 kilometers when I ran. At the same time, I can draw, embroider, make fabrics, read books, learn English and write novels.

Looking back now, life at that time seemed to be the most fulfilling, with a solid heart and a sense of security.

16 contact with public welfare and volunteer to participate in the micro-point public welfare sailing program. I went to several remote primary schools in Shaoyang, Longhui and Chenzhou, participated in Meng Tong activities and reading parties, and taught children Dragon Boat Festival embroidery in a primary school in Pingjiang.

At that time, my heart was firm and I had light in my eyes.

However, since when did the light in my eyes dim bit by bit?

5.？ I became a stay-at-home mom.

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I'm a stay-at-home mom now. Although I never thought I would be a full-time mother one day, I always thought I would be a professional mother. However, I have been a full-time mother for several years.

It was in the days when I was a stay-at-home mother that the light in my eyes dimmed bit by bit and I began to become less and less confident.

Although I know that life after marriage will definitely be different from life with children, I really never thought that after becoming a mother, life can't be described as earth-shaking.

In fact, I am not happy these years. Yes, I am unhappy. I don't have high spirits in the workplace anymore.

Things and problems, big and small, come one after another, and there are more and more things I worry about, worry about and fear. No sense of security, no firm direction.

Every day I look at nothing strange, but only I know that my heart is empty. If I lose something, I can't get it back.

I take my child, play with her, show her picture books, teach her English and play with other children. I am like all mothers, but I am different from all mothers.

Especially in the first year of the child, my husband is not around, and I take care of the child alone. As a novice mother, I am very anxious all day, I don't have enough sleep, I don't eat well, I am very tired, and my heart is even more tired.

Depression, depression, unwillingness, injustice and even anger. I am like a negative machine, constantly absorbing all negative emotions.

And I am a stubborn person by nature, so many words and things can't be said, and I don't know who to tell.

Remembering what my friends said, in the past few years as a full-time mother, all the sadness and pain were just swallowed in my stomach with broken teeth, widowed marriage and child-rearing life, and there was no one around to talk to.

At that time, sometimes I can't sleep all night, and the anxiety, confusion and inner uneasiness about the future haunt you all the time.

It seems that you can watch yourself sink into the swamp bit by bit, but you can't help it. You can't get out, so you watch yourself sink into the swamp bit by bit.

6.？ I started a new life.

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I used to think that I would be an expert in the workplace, I would get ahead in the workplace, I would take my parents everywhere, and I would be the pride of my parents. It's a pity that I'm 33 years old, and I've never been the strong woman in my mind.

I didn't fight my way out in the workplace, nor did I continue to buy a house and a car in this city on my own.

I just took my children to live in a small house I bought in my twenties and grew up with her.

Fortunately, however, in my second year as a stay-at-home mom, I reconciled with myself, and I am no longer unhappy because I am a stay-at-home mom.

I once saw such a passage in a circle of friends:

"As long as we regard every experience in each period as a different life experience, nothing is so difficult or difficult to cross.

So try your best to do everything now, no matter what the result is, at least your heart is full enough, which is also a kind of perfection. "

I am no longer unwilling. I started reading, writing and even learning from the media.

I no longer regret the present state, and I no longer miss my former self.

I reconciled with myself, and I am willing to accept myself in every period.

The meaning of life is never just material enjoyment and high spirits in the workplace. I am a full-time mother, but I also have my own life, which has my value and significance.

I realized the happiness of being a mother, accompanying the children to grow up, her first turn, her first look up, her first tooth, her first step and her first call to her mother. I have never been away from her for the first time.

Maybe I will become a real freelancer soon, or maybe I will re-enter the workplace soon. ......

I fantasize about being a mother and being a content exporter, with a stable income and a yearning life.

7.？ There is always some expectation in life in order to go on happily.

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I tried to find a job last month, but I couldn't find a suitable job because of the gap and taking care of children in recent years.

My favorite job takes into account my empty window and is distracted by my family, while my disliked job doesn't want to try.

In this process, I accepted that I am just an ordinary person. I used to want to be a department head, but now I want to take a nine-to-five weekend vacation, take care of my children and be an ordinary person.

I have never given up my life. I always feel that life has countless possibilities. I want to find a job to reduce the pressure of life and make life better, but my dream is to be a content professional and write what I want to write.

Even use my words to infect more people.

To survive, to live, to survive, to choose the life you want.

Even if I return to the workplace one day, I will not give up my dream of writing.

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After all, there are always some expectations in life, and we can go on happily. I am eager to be better, and I know that only by living harder can I have bread.

8. Set aside some time for other things.

There is a passage at the end of the article;

Every age group has the feeling of every age group.

At the age of 20, I will tell you to work hard at the age of 20, which is true.

Now that I'm 30 years old, I want to tell you, don't just bury yourself in your work. It's also sincere.

Set aside some time to do something else, anything except your current job.

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After reading that article, a sentence popped up in my mind;

Do something else to make your life more exciting.

I will continue reading and writing. Besides, I will slowly pick up my hobbies one by one.

By the way, I started running last week. I get up and run at 6: 0010 every day and go home before 7: 00 (before the children get up and before my husband goes to work).

I also studied children's mobile phone photography. I find this life more exciting and passionate.

I am no longer obsessed with how much money I want to earn. I am just a full-time mother. Besides working to make money, life should have more forms and appearances.

33 years old, I let myself go. I like myself now, I am hardworking and kind.

I like myself now, who is positive and loves life.

One day, I will continue to paint, embroider, learn English and do public welfare, or I will go hiking, camping, bungee jumping and teaching. Who knows?

I only hope that one day I can also say that I have worked hard and I am satisfied with myself and my life.