Kneel and beg to help me keep a diary! About the girl I chased. Waiting online.

Many of our brothers don't know what to say when they are with women, especially the women they like. Thinking about what to say, I still can't say what I am satisfied with. It's embarrassing to feel the atmosphere at once. My brain began to feel a little anxious, and the more anxious I became, the less I knew what I was talking about. This feeling is very uncomfortable. Like you, I have had it many times before. But don't blame yourself for being so useless. Because we all know that once we return to our familiar brothers and sisters, we will be laughing again, and there will be no such problem as being speechless at all.

But why do many buddies talk to girls they like and don't know what to talk about? Why can't you relax like talking to your brother?

The simple and obvious reason is that we care too much about what this girl thinks of you. In front of this woman, she became very concerned about her words and deeds, always thinking about how to speak and what to say to make her like herself. This is a sign of caring too much about the result. Then someone who doesn't understand will ask, I like this woman. Of course I care about the result of talking to her. Of course I care whether she likes herself or not. I don't care. How is that possible?

When I say don't care, I mean emotionally don't care. For example, you like a girl. Of course, if you can attract her and make her like you, you will feel happy, but if you can't attract her and make her like you, you will feel sad. Come to think of it, you gave the power to decide your mood to others. Everyone's actions, everyone's glance at you and others' failure to reply to your text messages can determine your mood. This is definitely not the characteristic of attractive men who attract women. A man who can be pushed around is not a man who attracts women. We all know this from our own life experiences.

Women are naturally sensitive to detecting such men. Women do have the so-called sixth sense, which most men don't have and never know. But this sixth sense can be cultivated and learned. We'll talk about this later.

Here, I want to say that if you talk to a woman, you care too much about the result and are emotionally involved. That is to say, if her words and deeds can affect your mood, then her attraction to you, even her previous attraction, will drop sharply. Because, for women, this is a signal that you can be pushed around at will. Women's perception of this signal is unconscious and automatic. This is a woman's natural ability.

However, many of our brothers don't care that it's easy to talk to a woman, but it's hard to see that beautiful woman. I quite understand. This is what I experienced. Even if I have this knowledge consciously, I can't do it in practice and I can't control myself. I still don't know what I'm talking to her. After long-term teaching and practical research, I found a good solution to this problem.

At present, I call this method chunking.

There are two kinds of lexical chunks, one is shallow and the other is deep. The shallow level is relatively easy to learn and is very suitable for beginners. I don't know what to say when chatting with women. This simple keyword technique is very useful. However, those experienced veterans should have done this unconsciously, because after all, this is a very simple normal dialogue and exchange; It seems simple but involves the deep manipulation of the other person's emotions. It is very powerful and cannot be used indiscriminately without knowing the consequences. When you have accumulated considerable social experience, a deeper understanding of people and a mature mind, people who are responsible for society can use it. Otherwise, it was fun and powerful at first, but then it must be possessed and never played.

In conversation, there are four levels of building relationships and emotions. 1 to 3 belongs to shallow lexical chunks. The fourth layer belongs to deep lexical chunks.

1. Simply agree or express your feelings. This is the last sentence of most of our brothers who don't know what to talk about next, and then they don't know what to say. For example,

The woman said, "I'm too tired from class/work today."

The man said, "Really, have a good rest."

This situation is often that women don't talk, and men don't know what to say next. Say, "Really, have a good rest." Men's psychology began to ponder what to say below. However, this sentence "really, have a good rest." Normal conversation will also add a little relationship. But start learning the next level of dialogue.

2. Keyword skills. The second level is to catch a keyword in the discussion, and then talk about you or others according to this keyword. This dialogue goes further than the first level.

For example,

The woman said, "I'm too tired from class/work today." (The key words here can be, going to work/attending classes, so tired, you can choose one or both. )

The man said, "Really, it seems like I didn't go to work today." (With "going to work" as the key word, you can also use "attending class" to tell a story about going to work. Women, including you, will be curious. After you say this sentence, you will leave the other party with many questions and ask you questions. )

The woman asked, "How can you act like you didn't go to work?"

The man said, "(You can talk about your job) I went to an intern's graduation ceremony this morning, ate in a restaurant on Nanjing Road, arrived at the office at 4 pm and got off work at 5 pm." This simple story about you has created many questions for women, such as, what intern, what school, and going to Nanjing Road for dinner at graduation? Wait a minute. Women are more likely to ask you naturally, and at the same time carry on this chat. At the same time, note that here is a woman asking a man a question, that is, a woman is interested in what a man says, and if she asks too much, she is interested in a man, because a woman will only ask if she is interested in what a man says. )

The woman asked: "What school intern, the graduation ceremony is still in Nanjing Road?"

Dude, go on. ...

Of course, if something unusual happens and the woman doesn't ask, at this time, according to the above conversation, there are many open topics that can be picked up again. For example, a man can ask, "Were you lazy yesterday, so you have to do more work today?" Or men can keep talking about interns or something.

Give you an example of a keyword,

Woman: This coffee doesn't taste very good. (Keywords: coffee, not good to drink)

Man: (using coffee keywords) This coffee has not been cooked for enough time. It's still about five minutes away. Cook for another 5 minutes to get the top grade.

(The question space left for women after this passage: Do you know much about coffee? How can you understand? Why do you understand? Why will it be top grade if it is burned for another 5 minutes? Wait a minute. After you answer any question, you will give her more questions to ask you. The topic will be endless, and there can be no topic to talk about. )

You can also use bad taste as a key word. The man said, have you ever had a drink called Hongle? This is the worst drink I have ever had.

(The question space left for women after this passage: What is Hongle? What does it taste like? Where did you drink it? Why did you drink it? Why have I never drunk it myself? )

Here's something for you: Hongle's drink is made by myself. I once joked with women about this, saying that it was produced in Nicaragua, a small island in South America, and its original name was viva de cheeva. My friends and I call it Hongle because it tastes like inferior red wine and still coke.

This is the keyword technology. Simply put, it is to take out a keyword in the other person's words and talk about yourself or other things, a sentence, a question and so on around this keyword. In the training class, I asked students to do a lot of exercises to practice this keyword skill, so as to speed up their mastery of this skill. If you don't practice, you should seize every opportunity to practice this skill when talking to others, especially beautiful women. This skill is nothing, just keep practicing after you understand it.

3. Vocabulary opportunism skills. Precisely

M: What else do you like besides dancing?

W: I'm interested in photography.

M: Really. Like Le Bowitz or more like Mankat? This is the application of opportunistic skills in lexical chunks. )

Woman: Oh, it's more like Mankat or something! When a woman finds a bosom friend, she will feel excited. The two found the same topic and started a marathon chat. )

The opportunistic approach of lexical chunks is to throw a little "color" on a topic to make the other party feel that you have the same topic and interest. * * * The same topic, * * * The same hobby equals the intimate upgrade of the relationship. Chunks are the channel to deepen and upgrade this relationship. Be sure to adopt it. Hmm. How interesting

Let's continue to watch ... we continue to deepen and expand the scope of the above dialogue.

M: Interesting. Have you ever heard that a picture is equal to 1000 words?

Woman: Yes!

M: Maybe it's just me, but I think a photo is equal to a thousand feelings. When I look at a painting or a photo, what usually impresses me most is the feeling that the photo can give me. It reminds me that they must use the camera to capture this picture, because it can't express the feeling of this picture in words at all. ...

Woman: Wow! ……

This dialogue goes deeper than the key words and involves the exchange of feelings and emotions. Well, that's all. Good luck.