Self-confidence is given by yourself? Or was it given by someone else?

Self-confidence is earned first! ① Specific methods to build self-confidence.

(1) Pick the front seat.

Have you noticed how the seats in the back row are filled first, whether it's teaching or various parties in the classroom? Most people who occupy the back seat hope that they will not be "too conspicuous". And the reason why they are afraid of being noticed is their lack of self-confidence.

Sitting in the front can build confidence. Try to make it a rule and sit as forward as possible from now on. Of course, sitting in the front will be more conspicuous, but remember that everything that succeeds is conspicuous.

(2) Practice facing others.

A person's eyes can reveal a lot about him. When someone doesn't look you in the eye, you will intuitively ask yourself, "What are you trying to hide? What is he afraid of? Will he be bad to me? "

Not looking directly at others usually means: I feel inferior around you; I feel inferior to you; I am afraid of you. Avoiding other people's eyes means: I feel guilty; What have I done or thought of that I don't want you to know? I'm afraid that once I touch your eyes, you will see through me. This is all bad information.

Looking into other people's eyes is telling you that I am honest and aboveboard. I believe what I told you is true. I have no conscience.

(3) Increase your walking speed by 25%

When David Schwartz was a teenager, it was very interesting to go to the town center. After getting on the bus after all the errands, my mother often says, "David, let's sit for a while and look at passers-by."

Mother is a great observer. She would say, "Look at that guy. What do you think is bothering him? " Or "What do you think the lady over there will do?" Or "Look at that man, he seems a little lost."

It's a pleasure to watch people walk. This is much cheaper and more enlightening than watching movies.

Many psychologists associate lazy posture and slow pace with unpleasant feelings about themselves, work and others. But psychologists also tell us that we can change our mental state by changing posture and speed. If you observe carefully, you will find that the movement of the body is the result of mental activity. Those who are hit and rejected are dragging their feet and have no self-confidence.

Ordinary people walk like "ordinary people" and make a confession that "I'm not very proud of myself".

Another kind of person shows extraordinary self-confidence, walks faster than the average person and likes running. Their pace tells the world: "I want to go to an important place and do very important things." More importantly, I will succeed in 15 minutes. "

Use this "25% faster" technology, strut faster, and you will feel your self-confidence growing.

(d) Practice public speaking.

Napoleon Hill pointed out that there are many people with sharp thinking and high talent, but they can't give full play to their strengths to participate in the discussion. It's not that they don't want to participate, just because they lack self-confidence.

The taciturn people in the meeting thought, "My opinion may be worthless. If I say it, others may feel silly. I'd better say nothing. Moreover, others may know more than me, and I don't want you to know that I am so ignorant. " These people often make a vague promise to themselves: "Wait until the next time." But they know very well that they can't keep this promise. Every time these taciturn people don't talk, he is poisoned by lack of self-confidence again, and he will lose self-confidence more and more. On the positive side, if you try your best to speak, you will increase your confidence and it will be easier to speak next time. So talk more, this is the "vitamin" of self-confidence.

No matter what kind of meeting you attend, you should take the initiative to speak every time, maybe it is a comment, maybe it is a suggestion, maybe it is a question, without exception. Besides, don't speak last. To be an icebreaker, you must be the first to break the silence. Don't worry, you'll look stupid. I won't. Because someone will always agree with you. So don't say to yourself, "I'm wondering if I dare say it." Try to attract the attention of the chairman of the meeting, so that you can have a chance to speak.

(5) grin.

Most people know that laughter can give themselves a practical driving force and is a good medicine to cure lack of self-confidence. But there are still many people who don't believe this, because they never try to smile when they are afraid. Real laughter can not only cure one's bad mood, but also immediately dissolve the hostility of others. If you smile at an Zhan Yan person sincerely, he won't be angry with you. Napoleon Hill told a personal experience: "One day, my car stopped at a red light at an intersection and suddenly" bang ". It turned out that the driver of the car behind me slipped and his car hit the bumper behind me. I saw him coming down in the rearview mirror, so I got off with him and prepared to give him a good scolding. " But fortunately, before my attack, he came over, smiled at me and said to me in the most sincere tone,' Friend, I really didn't mean to.' His smile and sincere explanation melted me. I had to whisper, "it doesn't matter, it happens all the time." In a blink of an eye, my hostility turned into friendliness. "

Grind it and you will feel that the good times are coming again. Laughter means laughing "big". Half-hearted smile is useless. Smiling is effective. We often hear: "Yes, but when I am afraid or angry, I just don't want to laugh." Of course, at this time, no one can laugh. The trick is to force yourself to say, "I'm going to start laughing." Then, laugh. The ability to control and use laughter.

(6) When you have stage fright, you might as well tell the truth and calm yourself down.

Vipassana is one of the main methods to study psychology, which was put forward by William Walter, the father of experimental psychology. This method is to observe your inner situation calmly, and then shake out the observation results unabashedly. If we can imitate this method and express the ever-changing psychological secrets in words, there will be no spare capacity to cause trouble. For example, when you first arrive in a strange place, your heart will inevitably be full of doubts and fears. At this time, I might as well express this uneasy mood clearly in words: "I am almost frozen, my heart is beating constantly, even my eyes are black, my tongue is frozen, and my throat is too thirsty to speak." This can not only dispel the inner tension, but also make the mood calm unexpectedly. Give another very real example. There is a salesman who ranks fifth in the United States. When he was not familiar with this line, he once met the American car king alone. As a result, he was really timid. No choice, he had to be honest: "I am ashamed. When I first saw you, I was too scared to say anything. " As a result, this actually eliminated the fear, thanks to the effect of confession.

(7) If you use a positive tone, you can eliminate the sense of inferiority.

Some women face the mirror, and when she sees her figure or skin color, she can't help feeling some kind of happiness. On the contrary, some women are troubled by inferiority complex. Although the other person's skin color is very dark, confident women will think, "My skin is wheat color, almost comparable to black hair." And she must be secretly happy. However, a woman who lacks self-confidence groaned in pain: "Why, my skin color is so dark." Two kinds of people have completely different moods. Some women lose confidence when they see the mirror, and even break it in a rage. Thus, the standard of value judgment is very subjective and vague. As long as you think it looks good, it looks good. If you feel bored, it doesn't look likable. Especially the inferiority complex is often influenced by language, so negative language is harmful to a person's mental health.

The author of Nature is Lucretius, a great Roman poet. He advised people all over the world to praise dark-skinned women and said, "Your skin color is as charming as walnuts." As long as she appreciates each other so much, the woman won't care even if she dresses up repeatedly in front of the mirror or knows that her skin is black. So she can concentrate on makeup and always feel that she is an attractive woman.

Then Lucretius advised us to change "skinny" into "lovely antelope" and "eloquent" into "eloquent". Different languages can completely change the same facts and give people different psychological feelings.

In a word, the same fact, with positive or negative words, can be described as a world of difference. It can be seen that the problem of this wording is indeed a magician that no genius can match. In any case, as long as valuable words or narratives are often used, the same facts can be completely changed, and of course, inferiority complex can be dispelled and people can enjoy a happy life.

(8) confidence develops confidence.

Without self-confidence, you will become less and less confident.

When you lack confidence, you should do something more confident. When you lack self-confidence, it is better to tell yourself that you are confident than to tell yourself that you are not confident. In order to overcome negative and negative attitudes, we should try our best to adopt a positive attitude. If you feel that you can't do it and leave everything around you behind, the situation will gradually become what you think. There is a group of students who advocate that college students choose the most modern and beautiful college students every year and hold competitions. The following is what the staff there said. He (she) went to universities and streets and saw beautiful people, so he (she) showed them brochures and invited them to participate in the competition. From the local to the central, all kinds of competitions are held again and again. However, everyone is becoming more and more beautiful, which is almost invisible. The staff there said: "Probably more and more confident!" Exactly. Because of the positive attitude of "I want to take part in this competition", these people look beautiful. "I want to take part in this competition", this attitude of affirming life generates self-confidence and makes these people look more beautiful. There is a Danish proverb: "Even if good luck comes, a fool knows how to invite it in." If you take a negative attitude, even if luck knocks on your door, you won't invite it in. The opportunity has come, you should put aside your negative attitude. Luck comes not only from the outside, but also from the heart. "Don't say bad things all day today." These things seem easy, but they are not simple. But as long as you make up your mind to do it, you can do it. If you can smile in your voice, then life will be better every day. Because, if the voice has a kind smile, people will want to talk to you, and then they will be refreshed through contact with others. When talking on the phone, if you speak in a smiling voice, the other party will feel comfortable and happy. If you are bitter or mean, it will not only make the other person uncomfortable, but also make him unhappy. When you bump into each other with words, you bump into yourself with words, and your attitude towards each other is also your attitude towards yourself. We should build up one by one like bricks and establish our positive attitude towards life. Even if you can't like everyone, try to like more than one person and one person. On the contrary, you will like yourself, and then you will overcome the unnecessary fear of others. Because, self-confidence will cultivate self-confidence. Small achievements will bring us confidence. If you want to do great and extraordinary things at once, you will become less and less confident.

(9) Do what you can.

When you do what you can, your personality will be revealed. It is important to find out what you can do now, instead of desperately trying to restore your image. Knowing what you should do and then implementing it can liberate yourself from self-image. In short, try to write down what you can do at once and then put it into practice. You don't have to take great and extraordinary actions, as long as you can. Because we just want to succeed and can't find anything to do. "Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today." If you leave it to the next day, what you can easily do today will become very heavy. If you think, "What a nuisance!" And until the next day, the work will become relatively heavy. If what you can do today is put off until the next day, those postponed jobs will increase your burden. I have never met someone who said, "I will quit smoking tomorrow!" " "There will be smoking cessation. I have never seen anyone say, "Let's not drink tonight! "And give up drinking. The following is a short story of a photographer. Once, the photographer attended a party. On the way to the reception, the photographer said, "I quit drinking" and asked him, "When did it start?" He replied, "I just decided to resign. "He quit smoking and drinking. Most people will answer: "After this reception" or "This reception is the last time." Forever is also accumulated hour by hour, because if you take away an hour, there will be no eternity. Try to make two cards, one of which says "Go! "(Do it), and the other said" Do it later ". Take these two cards with you, and take out one when you are not confident. At this time, you should take it out and write "Go ahead! "That one. We can write "Be confident" on the back first. When you don't know whether to do it or not, you must take out this card. Because today is related to the next day, if you don't do what you can do today, it will become more difficult to do tomorrow.

Running a marathon, because the body will be very tired, so you can't be more motivated every time you cross a telephone pole. However, as long as it is not completely manual work, achieving the goal again and again will bring more motivation to people. Therefore, we should divide the big goal into several small stages to achieve it. Every time it reaches a stage, it will generate new impetus. Then it will inspire the motivation needed to achieve the ultimate goal. I thought, "It's probably hard!" Then people who are depressed give in to their goals from the beginning, and these people will set a goal that they can't achieve, which shows that their hearts have been distorted. A sound soul longs for what it can do. People with immature mental development will constantly adopt a very strong self-centered attitude. This phenotype, once a self-centered person sets a goal, it must be a goal that immediately attracts everyone's attention. Then, because he was obsessed with that goal, he lost what he should do here and now. Finally, he went it alone and did something different. People who like to be unconventional when they are young are prone to depression when they are old, which is why. When I was young, I couldn't overcome my self-expression and self-centered personality. When I get old, I become depressed. There is an old saying: "Swallows fly, turtles stamp their feet", that is to say, people who "can't find what they want to do" should not be like the tortoise in this sentence? Suppose the tortoise wants to fly when he sees the geese flying across the sky, isn't that strange? The tortoise should have something that the tortoise can do but the geese can't. Answer: crazy-level 6 2007-9-7 20:00, all dressed up and felt great when walking! Answer: Witch in Purple-level12007-9-7 20: 01Can you find out your unique advantages? Compare your own advantages with others' disadvantages in this respect, and you will get a little satisfaction. You will be satisfied to remind yourself that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and you won't be shy anymore. Each of us is growing. As long as you are not mentally retarded or disabled, you are no worse than others. On the other hand, many people who are physically disabled and determined are brave enough to face life. What are they shy about? Interviewee: Express Your Heart -Level 3 2007-9-7 20:23 Everyone's growth has to go through this stage of youth and shyness, which is also a sign of psychological maturity. Don't care too much. Participate in more activities and exercise regularly, which is helpful for psychological adjustment. Answer: yufan 4444- level 2 2007-9-7 20:43, talk to others more ~! ~ ~ I'm just like you ~ ~ ~ Just slowly integrate into the society ~ ~ Agree with the upstairs saying `~ ~ Interviewee: ゛???熶熷-Level 1 2007-9-7 2 1:30 5 1 moves to promote you. Focus on your true quality and success. Everything I care about will swell. Learn to say no: I have no obligation to do a job unless it is really my duty. Laugh at the curse: I can't make myself unhappy and I can't make others happy. Treat people equally: Different titles do not mean that others are superior to me. Pay attention to feedback: every mistake is a learning experience. Make happiness a habit: you control how happy you are. Face my mistakes frankly: occasionally making mistakes will not reduce my value. Stop blaming yourself: gain self-confidence through positive self-dialogue. Find a job I love: I can work happily. Don't worry about the impression left by others. If I think the impression left by others is very important, maybe I will do better by forgetting this. Now please accept yourself unconditionally: I like myself now, which is great. Improve your own needs: a person can get the best life. Freedom: The more I value other people's opinions, the less I live my life according to my own choice. Enjoy personal time: I should have some time to myself every day. Struggle for the ideal: If I want something, I will try to have it. Go your own way: don't ignore your own preferences in order to please others. Pay attention to your own opinion: it will be much better to ignore what others think of me one day a week 100% Positive: I will be happier if I avoid unpleasant thoughts. Learn to expect others to be different from you, and people have reasons to be different from you when dealing with others. Perfectionism is not perfect: it is always wise to set realistic standards for yourself. Don't change yourself for others: you don't have to change yourself for others. Don't worry about differences: Being different doesn't make me better or worse than others. Don't compare with anyone. Reject pain for no reason: you can avoid a lot of pain by not torturing yourself. Don't judge yourself by your actions: I am absolutely valuable, even if I do something unwise. Far more right than wrong: I made far more right decisions than wrong. Identify yourself first. Responsible for health. Laugh at criticism: it's good for me to relax and accept criticism with an open mind. Be flexible: change your attitude. Think independently and decide independently. Accept compliments generously. Value your opinion. The more you learn to do things by yourself, the more opportunities you will have in the future. Don't take the game seriously. Your own needs are the most important. Look ahead: I am as important as anyone else. Say "no" to guilt. I am a valuable person. Forgive all your mistakes. Actively understand everything. Forget the bad feelings about others. Having negative feelings about others will hurt you more than the other person. Become an expert in solving problems. Defend your rights. Try to rely on yourself. I believe your idea is perfect. Take responsibility in your life. Accept the blame when it is time to blame. Who do you live for? Be kind to others. My friend, although these are just references, they can be handy if used properly. ! Interviewee: Leduni-Grade 2 2007-9-7-21:34 Don't be afraid of losing face when doing anything. Nobody pays attention to you. Interviewee: The pain of bereavement-Grade II 2007-9-7 22:05 Hehe, it is very similar to my situation. I used to do this all the time. I used to be nervous when I saw girls and wanted to give them to the opposite sex. Much better now. In fact, people like to be with people who are what they seem. As long as you are honest with each other, you will win popularity. Girls, hehe, get to know more. They're not sacred animals, so they have to eat and shit ... hehe. In fact, girls like boys who are down-to-earth and enterprising, not those who only show off. Just show your true self, that's enough. Also, pay attention to your appearance. This doesn't mean that you have to wear beautiful and expensive clothes. Neat, generous and decent is enough. Contact as many people as possible. Also, remember to smile. Smiling can conquer each other. Good luck. ...