What problems will you encounter when studying abroad?

According to a survey conducted by Yale University, as many as 45% of overseas students in China are obviously prone to depression, while only 65,438+03% of American students are depressed.

Other public information statistics: About 35% of international students in China have psychological problems. According to my observation, the students from high flyers, a famous school, and with better family conditions have a greater proportion of mental illness.

Then, we rushed to study abroad and sent our young elites abroad, and then we lost money in batches. Are we honing our elite talents, or is this a trap of elite war? Every time I hear and see those outstanding international students drop out of school or come back silently, I feel very uncomfortable.

Before their children go abroad, many parents think that they have considered all aspects for their children. Parents use their many years of domestic experience to imagine the situation abroad, and use their own growth experience to speculate on the future of children who grow up in completely different environments. The growth process and pursuit of parents and children are very different. Poverty and struggle make parents stronger, and children raised with snacks and milk often can't bear too many extravagant pursuits.

A large proportion of foreign students have psychological problems.

Sunshine depression, do you want to pretend to be invisible?

What can we do?

A strange friend knew that I was doing analysis and research and public welfare sharing in the field of international students' safety, and he asked his son to fly from the mainland to find me. He said that the child stayed at home for more than half a year and didn't want to go anywhere. After hearing about our platform, he took the initiative to share his story. Parents are very happy and supportive when they see that their children are finally interested in doing something. This young man is 23 years old. In high school, I got 65,438+00 before the municipal or provincial entrance examination for many times. He chose to study in America. His father told me that the child was on the verge of severe depression, and now he has basically recovered, but he is still not interested in many things. I wish I could help the child more. I have been a teacher for many years, and I can't help liking excellent children. I can't help wanting to give him some help. I said, let him come.

One morning, I met this young man, tall and a little shy. In the chat with him, I found that he is an excellent young man who is very smart, logical, self-managed and restrained. I told him that our platform is to share the true stories of overseas students with my brothers and sisters, hoping that parents and classmates can understand the real overseas situation. If memories will make him uncomfortable, you can choose to talk about some light topics. He said it doesn't matter, he has come out, and he came to me in the hope that more people would know about the real life of international students. Everything is not so beautiful, and he hopes that more students can get help from his sharing.

To tell the truth, I'm a little worried, but seeing his firm eyes, I trust him more. We talked back and forth three times. Here, let me describe some parts that shocked me greatly.

1. He is a top student in an overseas key class of a famous school. In their eyes, the international ranking of Tsinghua Peking University is not attractive. Four of the five buddies in their dormitory went to America, 1 went to Australia. These schools have a high international ranking. Two years later, except him, the other four students were completely annihilated, and various psychological problems appeared, which led them to return to China in succession. He himself was moderately depressed, but he adjusted, so he was not persuaded by the school to drop out of school, nor was he forced to suspend school temporarily. He said this with a faint smile, but I seemed to see the deep scars on him and his friends.

Second, he told me that the biggest enemy is loneliness. I don't understand. What kind of loneliness? He looked at me and said, very lonely, very lonely, it was a deep loneliness of despair and hatred for himself. Because of his dissatisfaction and remorse, he didn't want to sleep all night. At some point, my body trembled and tears could not help but flow down. A man of 1.8 meters, I told him, I understand. Lonely emotional state and vicious circle with no interest in anything are the biggest characteristics of depression. He can come and tell me, I know he has come out.

Third, I said that I actually found myself having a problem less than half a year after I entered school. By the end of the first year, with the help of myself and the school doctor, I basically got out of moderate depression. But now he sees that maybe he should have dropped out of school for half a semester and returned to China, and then 1-2 years later went to school. Because although he insisted on self-adjustment, his academic performance was still affected, which affected his score. As a result, when he was in graduate school, he could not apply for a good tutor and school because his overall grades were not good enough. He said that he never wanted to go to that land in America again. He wanted to go to Hong Kong to study history and literature. I'm sorry to say that you are a science student and a mathematical genius. He said it was all in the past.

Chatting with him last week, he has already started working, and has not gone to graduate school. I think it's right. Don't worry about graduate school yet. He is still very young. For him, it may be better to know more about society and streaking to enrich his real life. I can't treat mental illness, but I can also summarize some unprofessional prevention methods through some cases. If we can keep 10 children and 100 children away from depression, it will be a great merit.

Children's growth, the formation of personality and behavior habits have their own reasons, and they also have a great relationship with their parents and families who accompanied him to grow up. Children's grades meet the requirements of studying abroad, but their personality and psychological growth are not mature enough.

Parents should take more responsibility for the psychological problems of foreign students.

But many times parents play just the opposite. The following are my personal suggestions. I hope more parents can participate in the discussion and share.

1. Mother tongue is Chinese.

Never forget, especially in the first half of your first year abroad. Some parents think that after studying abroad, they should integrate into the local life and culture as soon as possible, try to make local friends abroad, master more fluent foreign languages, stay away from local China students, try not to go to China City, and even a few parents ask their children to speak less Chinese. If children live in an environment where it is easier to make foreign friends and have small partners who can communicate, everything may be fine. However, this is not the case in many cases. Host families are not necessarily good partners. Foreign universities don't have the concept of class like domestic universities. Foreign students who have just gone abroad can't communicate and joke with local students, so it's not easy to make friends. Studying in a foreign university is stressful, and children have no time to make friends. Slowly, there are fewer and fewer people he can communicate with. If his mother tongue is also abandoned, where can emotions and pressures be released? Some people can adjust themselves, and some people will have psychological problems. Therefore, Chinese mother tongue, fixed family communication, stable communication and love ties can greatly alleviate the depression of international students.

2. Destination security assessment.

Have parents considered this factor? The choice of study abroad schools, whether schools, intermediaries or parents' DIY, is more based on academic rankings, majors and cities, and few schools should consider psychological safety risks. Children have different personalities, some are enthusiastic, good at communication, some are introverted and steady, and they are not good at words. Take the University of California as an example. Davis is quiet and remote, and the public security is very good. The most common situation is to lose your bike, but there is basically no cultural and entertainment life there, which is suitable for quiet study. As for UCLA, there are entertainment places such as Hollywood and Disney around. How to evaluate options? Considering psychological factors, it may be helpful for students who are not good at words to go to Davis, but the potential psychological risk of children will definitely be higher than that of going to Los Angeles.

3, lonely, go to church!

This is the experience that many seniors tell their younger brothers and sisters. Right? If only from the perspective of psychological stress relief, going to church can bring more communication, love and at least one free meal. Is the church a charity? No, it's a place where culture and religious beliefs spread. Going to church when a child is lonely is like a lovelorn person meeting a warm opposite sex. Have we considered that children may have accepted different cultures, world views and even beliefs at the most vulnerable time? A very respectable leader said it very well. Most cultures or beliefs cannot judge right from wrong. When you consider accepting it, you need to be very cautious and cautious again. Culture and belief will have a great impact on life, and the cost of future change may be even greater. If children accept and change their beliefs and values in this way, can we accept it?

Step 4 contact a psychiatrist

When international students find themselves in a wrong state, they should contact the school counselor and psychologist as soon as possible. Psychological adjustment is normal in foreign countries and is not shameful. Just like catching a cold and having a fever, you need to see a doctor at the first time. When an international student is abroad alone, nothing can be sloppy. However, the reality is that many children find themselves in a wrong state and think that they can adjust and will not communicate with their parents. Because children are worried about their parents' dissatisfaction, they will feel that their children are insane and will bring shame to their parents. Face and vanity, I think, are inherited from the world outlook, and parents have more problems. Many people's situation can be improved quickly if they are found early and guided in time.

5. Improper study methods may double your pressure.

Different educational methods at home and abroad make students learn differently. Domestic research is mostly led by teachers, while foreign research is more guided by teachers. If students don't master the learning methods suitable for foreign universities, they will not only be dissatisfied with their grades, but also be very tired, not to mention making friends and communicating. A teacher of a subject may require students to preview 100 pages of textbooks for one week, read 50 pages intensively, and so on. How many subjects? As a result, I can't finish reading all the books. If I don't preview them, I may not understand them at all in class. Later, it was discovered that some books can be read and focused on learning. Therefore, these methods need to be guided by seniors. Some of our classmates are overwhelmed with reading and their grades are not good. If they work harder, their grades are still not good, and their psychological pressure can be imagined.

6. Self-definition of top students and schoolmasters.

All these definitions can be translated into stress. In the first year of their children's study abroad, high school students and their parents are still immersed in the glory and glory of high school, but in fact, the results of high school can only show that their children have a good entry permit. How do high school students view primary school knowledge, and how do undergraduates and master students view high school knowledge? Everything starts all over again. No one likes to leave the aura and glory. Family praise and pride tell children that you must be better than others like high school. But now everything has changed, life needs independence, the environment is completely new, and the learning style has also changed. Students in the same school have the same level of entrance scores, and only five of the original 50 top students can continue to be top students. What about the remaining 45? They are no longer top students and schoolmasters. Do children accept such setbacks and changes? Do parents accept it? If the child's high school grades are average or poor, the pressure will be less. The original top students and schoolmasters are more dissatisfied and pressured by themselves and their parents. If the motivation of learning is interest, you won't care too much about your grades. If you study just to be a top student, vanity is the driving force. This may be the reason why top high school students have more psychological problems after entering foreign undergraduate courses.

7. Cultivate a hobby or sport.

It will make international students healthier physically and mentally, and it will also make children make more friends. Going out of the house and taking part in a sport or a hobby are all good ways to adjust your mentality and integrate into society. If you decide that your child wants to go abroad, you need to cultivate hobbies as soon as possible, such as basketball, football and even running. Photography, surfing, etc. Everything is fine, as long as it's not a dead house.

8. Do you have the ability to adjust yourself and change yourself?

The grass in the wild is indomitable, and the flowers in the greenhouse fall as soon as they blow. Successful parents, who have never experienced hardships or fought bravely, naturally hope that their children can grow up smoothly. When children grow up, they can satisfy everything as long as they study hard. If they grew up from an international school and didn't even experience the hardships of the senior high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination, most of them are no different from the flowers in the greenhouse. Parents can't wait to protect their children for life. When children go abroad to study, parents and children have not realized that children basically have no ability to cope with all kinds of difficulties and hardships, and they have no ability to change and adjust themselves. When they encounter all kinds of unexpected difficulties and pressures, children and parents are not ready, and problems are inevitable, and parents have greater responsibilities.

There is no way out if the psychological problems of international students are treated only from a medical point of view. It is important that the whole family should not only prepare their children's grades and suitcases when they make up their minds to study abroad. What parents need to consider is that a child who is still studying at the age of 18 or 22 must face the challenges of living, studying, socializing, different cultures, different laws and public security abroad alone.

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