The documentary "Ermao" reveals the unknown side of little people and transgender people.

2019165438+10, the 32nd Amsterdam International Documentary Film Festival was held grandly. Amsterdam Documentary Film Festival is the largest documentary event in the world, with the highest gold content and the heaviest weight. The best documentary practitioners all over the world are paying attention to this event, and the film Ermao, which was filmed by Jia Yuchuan, a director from China, received rave reviews. It was Jia Yuchuan who filmed the story of Nobody in 17 from 2003. The protagonist Li Ermao, a transsexual born in rural Sichuan, was overturned in the torrent of the times in the ups and downs of money, love, discrimination and self-belonging. Today, we will talk about the documentary "Ermao", exposing the unknown side of nobody and transgender people.

Ermao is a personal name, full name Li Ermao. Ermao is a rural migrant worker from Quxian County, Sichuan Province. He was a boy when he was born. When he grows up, he wants to be a woman. For a time, he was almost half a woman. Later, he was forced to become a person again. Later I heard that he was dead.

The film Ermao directed by Jia Yuchuan, a famous photojournalist in Bao Jing, recorded the story of Ermao. In the follow-up shooting of 17 years, Jia Dao's lens recorded Ermao's ordinary but restless life. Ermao is like a beautiful mistake. Because of his own mistake, he is at a loss in this world, and his fate ends in tragedy.

With regard to the gender definition of Ermao, the international common saying is "transgender" (), which is a very small group, alienated from our normal definition of social structure. In fact, "transgender" is a group that is difficult to define accurately. On the one hand, many experts and researchers have different views on the definition; On the other hand, many people are artificially "divided" into this group, but they don't agree. If you have to give a definition, you can describe it like this: "transgender" refers to the general name of people who do not conform to the physiological gender specified at birth in gender identity, gender expression or gender behavior.

Gender identity refers to a person's inner view of whether he is male, female or other gender; Gender expression refers to the way a person communicates his gender identity with others through behavior, clothing, hairstyle, voice or physical characteristics. "Transgender" is considered to be a very appropriate title, but not everyone who looks or behaves in a way that does not conform to the general gender norms considers himself a transgender.

Obviously, at has never recognized his masculinity. He thinks he should be a woman. He is more emotionally and psychologically aware of his femininity. His goal in life was to make money desperately and save up the high cost of sex change surgery, so that he could become a perfect woman completely. This is the driving force of his life's struggle and the beginning of his tragic life.

At is an unfortunate child. He was born in a deformed and twisted family in a remote mountain village in Sichuan. When he was very young, his father was shot for serious crimes. His crazy and morbid father even sold his sister directly to Henan! It is conceivable that Ermao grew up in a state of panic, helplessness and despair. His mother is disabled and can't take care of him at all. When I was a child, Ermao and my cousin picked up garbage in the city and worked odd jobs for a living until they grew up and went to work in Shenzhen.

Li ermao's understanding of transgender attribute

Ermao's transgender consciousness was discovered by accident. After work, Li Ermao, who went to the nightclub with his colleagues, was fascinated by the enchanting dancers on the stage. Li Er looked straight at the audience, not because of adolescent hormonal impulses or bizarre curiosity, but because of a cordial desire to perform. Most importantly, he found himself living with a woman who had just danced outside.

Qingqing, an old bar in the village of Longgang District, Shenzhen, is a famous night detective in this area. He brought out dozens and hundreds of male chauvinism and erotic transvestites, and he also discovered Li Ermao's talent as a transvestite actor. Since he came into contact with the cross-dressing performance on the stage, Li Ermao has been fascinated by magic, and those soft images have always appeared in his mind. After many twists and turns, he made a bold decision to quit his job in the factory and go to work at night. With slim figure, fair skin, exquisite facial features and soft, shy and sweet voice, Li Ermao quickly passed the examination for night manager. Looking at the other self in the dresser mirror, Li Ermao feels that the future can be expected and life has reached another realm.

Li ermao was born with fine features, short stature and smaller skeleton than ordinary men. After careful dressing, she looks like a beautiful girl with heavy makeup. At that time, a number of "gay bars" emerged in Shenzhen. Li Ermao shuttled between several nightclubs and met several like-minded partners. In the factory, he was dressed in plain men's clothes, short and imposing, like an invisible man, while Li Ermao, wearing an off-the-shoulder hip skirt, seemed to be the most confident and dazzling actress in the world. From then on, Li Ermao began the transformation of "shemale" and "transsexual".

A different life after becoming a transsexual person

Ermao got breast enhancement, dressed herself as a sexy girl and began to perform "shemale" in a nightclub in Shenzhen. He studied dance hard and practiced singing, and soon became famous on the stage, having his own "place" and receiving economic rewards. He began to live like a city dweller.

At the dream of gradually expanding. He confidently sought sponsorship, found investment, took out his own CD and dreamed of becoming a real "big star" one day. In life, Ermao even began to talk about love and fell in love with a veteran. They lived alone and lived happily.

Lost after debauchery

On the stage, Ermao's hard performance made him earn a high salary in that era, so Ermao enjoyed rich entertainment and made many boyfriends, so he came up with the idea of being a real woman and being loved by his lover. What a happy thing this will be. Li Ermao, who is determined to have sex-change surgery, works harder and interacts with customers more diligently. He knows that the operation needs a lot of money. But people are often things that can be easily gained or lost, whether it is the money he earns or the boyfriend he makes!

He was cheated out of all his money in order to make his own "star dream" and later became a gambler! So that the original dissolute life was replaced! And several of his boyfriends finally left him! In a fast-paced city like Shenzhen, Ermao has become the person who will be eliminated at any time. In the end, twenty cents has nowhere to go. He had no choice but to return to his hometown in Sichuan and his last habitat. However, the reality is cruel. When Ermao returned to his hometown, he found that even his last suites had been torn down by neighbors, and he advocated that rights protection was fruitless. He had to build a simple plastic shed on the ruins of his homestead. Even in his own home, the hardships of life are not the most worrying. The incomprehension and indifference of relatives, the vitriol and cynicism of villagers are the most painful and desperate. In this world, Ermao has nothing to rely on, and no one will warm him again. At this time, he was only accompanied by his little boyfriend who came back from Shenzhen, and the fate of two lonely people was tied together.

Ermao and her little boyfriend started their new life in this simple plastic shed. They raise chickens, plant crops and open up wasteland, hoping to change the injustice of fate with hard-working hands. Two hairs in the lens often look forward to the future with confidence, with tenacious, persistent and strong eyes. The embarrassment of reality never knocked him down. There is a set of static scenes in the film that I will never forget.

In late autumn in Sichuan Basin, the humidity is high and the water vapor is sufficient, so the sun can't be seen all day. Fog dispersal and transpiration are daily normal. Under Jia Dao's lens, the simple greenhouse with red and blue stripes is harsh and bright, standing quietly on a wasteland in the early morning, surrounded by silence and clouds. Ermao's new home is looming, and compared with the bleak and desolate environment around him, the dazzling "Utopia" he personally created is like a fairyland on earth.

However, fairyland is just an empty and luxurious dream in reality. At the dream soon woke up. The villagers really can't accept the sudden appearance of such a "heterogeneous" in their lives. No one can understand why he lives with a man in women's clothes. Suspicion and hostility followed. Village cadres even came to persuade him to leave his hometown, and his dream was shattered. After humiliating signing a house resale agreement with neighbors, I had to return to Shenzhen.

Back in Shenzhen, Ermao began to learn to look at life realistically. In order to survive, he actively looked for a job to make a living, but there were many difficulties. No factory is willing to accept a "transgender" without a clear definition and arrangement. Many inconveniences forced Ermao to wrap up his swollen chest again. He cut off his long hair and restored his "man's body". It is an infinitely painful choice to fight against his inner desires and instincts. At some split, wandering between the sexes. He was at a loss and scared. People need to face survival and reality. In order to blend in, two hairs can survive.

At the end of life.

I thought that Ermao had gone through degeneration from an ordinary bottom person, recognized life and reality after debauchery, and finally decided to return to the essence of life, but I didn't expect that God would end Ermao's life! Back in Shenzhen, he cut off his long hair and wrapped his long chest with a bandage. After two unforgettable loves, the idea of being a woman was completely annihilated in his mind, and he decided to be a man again.

It also costs a lot of money to take out fake breasts. Li ermao, who has difficulty in finding a job and has no savings, can only ask Jia Yuchuan for help. Jia Yuchuan helped contact a hospital to help Li Ermao take out the fake chest and recover. However, after the first trial, a news came as a bolt from the blue. Li ermao is likely to carry HIV and cannot be operated on.

Li Ermao almost collapsed and kept smoking while crying. Jia Yuchuan was at a loss and didn't know how to comfort him. Whether mentally or materially, he has no way to start. All he can do is record all this with a lens. Later, Li Ermao disappeared, just like disappearing out of thin air. No one knew where he went and what he did.

20 17 Jia Yuchuan suddenly got a call from Li ermao. On the phone, he looked very happy and said that he had managed to take out his fake chest, and now he has become a decent man. He wants to travel around the world when he earns enough money.

Two years later, when Jia Yuchuan's work "Ermao" was shortlisted, he called Li Ermao immediately and wanted to share the joy of winning the prize with him, but Li Ermao had already passed away. It was said that if his work won the prize, he would go to Holland to walk the red carpet, which will never be realized.

On the only phone call with the director before his death, Ermao said that he felt very tired, whether he was a man or a woman. Generally speaking, others can only live once in their lifetime, and it is worth living twice by themselves.

Today, the LGBT community is no longer a minority. Li Ermao can't be regarded as a homosexual or transgender in a strict sense, because at the end of his life, he completely denied himself. He thinks what he does to men is dirty and disgusting. Maybe falling in love with Xiaolong or other boyfriends is just a way to seek warmth, and his work can't make him fall in love with a woman. The influence of the circle made him feel that he should be like that, so he should be a "woman".

The director of the film didn't give such a strict definition of life, he was just a bystander of life. Li ermao has been looking for an accurate answer for himself all his life. He hastily wrote one for himself, then hastily erased it, leaving only one sentence: "I was born a man, I'm sorry."

At quietly left. It is said that he donated all his last savings to the society before his death. Ermao's life ended with his story, just like thousands of ordinary people in Qian Qian disappeared. I think the most trace he left in this world should be all his love and sadness in this documentary by Jia Dao. At the end of the film, Jia Dao took photos of different scenes at different times and identities in the past 17 years.

He is her, and she is the one who abandons any preconceptions. I really hope that such an excellent film can be released. A transgendered person may not be able to choose his own gender affiliation, but an inclusive society should be able to choose whether to give them more space for understanding, respect and survival and development to help them have a better life.

At the end of the article: Love has nothing to do with men and women, as long as there is love in marriage. Li ermao, who has been loveless all his life, is no longer alive. In my opinion, his life is divided into three stages: she is young and eager to be famous, she is eager to return to her hometown, she is eager for stability, and he reconciles himself with reality. When God created man, he did not think that there would be a third possibility besides Adam and Eve, and transgender people belonged to one of them. Kate Bernstein, a famous American writer, said: "I know I am not a man, and gradually I realize that I am probably not a woman either. The problem is that the world we live in requires us to be either male or female. " After watching the documentary "Ermao", or to put it bluntly, when I saw Li Ermao's short life, from the misfortune of childhood to the intersection with transgender people, from the incomprehension of the world to the end of life, I always felt that there were still many Li Ermao in this world. At this moment, maybe they are repeating the same life as Li Ermao, or many people are deciding whether to become Li Ermao or not! In short, on Li Ermao, besides sympathy, I also saw a million Li Ermao behind Qian Qian!