Just like you, except I panicked.

"In your life, there will at least one time that you forget yourself for someone, asking for no result, no company, no ownership or even love, just meeting you in my most beautiful years."

If I ask, I like you, do I regret it?

Then I will definitely answer. I never regret it. Although you never liked me, I don't even know how much I like you.

1

The first time I saw him was in the military training before entering the first year of high school. The sun was blazing in August. It's a sunny day and the sky is bright blue. He sat next to me in a military uniform, and we chatted one build and one build.

In fact, when I first met him, he was not good-looking at all. I didn't fall in love with him at first sight because I was exposed to the sun for a few days and got a haircut, which was not popular at that time.

But then his skin color recovered and his hair became longer, and I found out that he was actually very sunny and beautiful.

That day, the sun shone on his face, plating his face with a layer of golden light, and his mouth slightly rose. At that moment, I felt so warm under the scorching sun. From then on, I fell in love with his warm smile and began to like him.

After the official start of school, we are in the same class I always chat with him intentionally or unintentionally, and treat him with all kinds of kindness, from caring and encouraging at the beginning to being responsive later.

He comes to class very late in the morning, so I will bring him a breakfast every day and bring his bottle when I turn on the water. He doesn't get good grades in English and doesn't like doing English homework, so every day I will finish my English homework carefully at the first time and then copy it to him. He likes to drink pulsating mineral water. Every time he plays ball, I will sneak a bottle into his bag. ...

He said he liked girls with long hair, so I started to have long hair and never cut it again. He said that he likes girls who are sunny and cheerful, and I also learn to change myself and make myself more and more lively. ...

Love a person never asks if it's worth it, so I always love him regardless.

On my freshman birthday, I specially booked a private room for him and invited all my classmates. In fact, he is the only person I want to invite.

That afternoon, our appointed time was three o'clock, but it was almost five o'clock, and he still didn't come. Looking at the empty door, my heart is like a deflated ball, and I can't get excited instantly.

Later, he told me that he was at the entrance of KTV, and I excitedly ran out to pick him up with my mobile phone. With a warm smile, he handed me a birthday present, a crystal ball that would snow, and the dark clouds in his heart were swept away instantly.

He will never know that this inexpensive crystal ball has always been regarded as a treasure by me, just because it was given by him.

2

We haven't been in the same class since sophomore year, but it doesn't affect me at all. I always find an excuse to go to his class to find him, thinking that even if I just meet him once and say a word to him, I will be satisfied.

One day he told me that his ex-girlfriend came to see him and wanted to get back together with him. At that moment, I had a strong sense of unease. I asked him, will you make up with her? He said no, he had no feelings for her. I breathed a sigh of relief after hearing his answer.

But girls don't think so. She said she wouldn't give up, and she would always insist.

I thought that as long as he was firm enough, they couldn't make up again. But I forgot that my predecessor is a terrible thing.

He said he would go to the reunion of senior one students, so I went without hesitation.

I just went out to make a phone call that day, but he came with a girl, who was his ex-girlfriend. They made up after all.

I watched their clenched hands, and my heart ached so much that I couldn't breathe. Watching them approach step by step, I want to go, but my feet don't listen to me, so I stay where I am.

"Joanne, this is my girlfriend Xiao Ai." When he saw me, he smiled awkwardly and introduced me.

Maybe it's been too long, and my best friend Coco has also come out. She knows I like him. Seeing this scene, she was also surprised. She took my hand and let them go in together.

"Ann, why don't we go back first?"

"I'm fine. Let's go in. "

I know, but it's for my own good, unlike letting me see them together, but I'm just being a bitch.

After returning to the private room, I sat farthest from them and picked up a beer bottle to block my view. I thought I couldn't see them, but I could see them clearly in the corner.

He put his head on the girl's shoulder and put his arms around her. He still has a warm smile on his lips, but it doesn't belong to me anymore, maybe it never did.

I should be glad that everyone focused on them and didn't see me cry.

I am not reconciled. For the first time in so many years, I feel strongly unwilling. I like him so much. Where am I worse than her? But why can't he see my goodness?

Be kind to him as always and like him silently.

three

I once saw him talking about it last night. His eyes hurt a little when he took cosmetic contact lenses. So I lied and told the teacher that I had a stomachache and wanted to go to the school doctor's office, and the teacher agreed.

I rushed to the school doctor's office to buy eye drops and ran to the door of their class to wait for him to finish class. After class, he came out with a group of boys. After I handed him the eye drops, I was ready to turn around and leave, but he stopped me. I'm looking forward to it with pleasure.

I saw that he pointed to one of the boys and smiled and said to me, "He likes you, or do you know each other?"

It was the first time, and I thought his smile was chilling. I like him so much that he wants me to push others. I didn't answer, but left without looking back, leaving him with a look of consternation.

Then he said that the boy liked me very much and that he was very nice. I wish I could try with him.

I asked him, "Do you really want me to be with him?"

"Yes, he is my brother, you are my good friend, he likes you so much, and you are very suitable together."

That smile again. Every time I see his smile, I lose my resistance and say "good".

I was with that boy, but I was absent-minded every time he spoke. There is another person in my heart. How can I like others like this?

After a week, I really can't go on. I don't want to deceive him, let alone myself.

After this incident, I told myself that I should give him up, because I was just an ordinary friend in his heart.

At that time, it was the third semester of senior three, and I put all my energy into my study. Instead of looking for him, he would come to me and ask me why I didn't look for him. I said, I want to study. Actually, I want to forget him.

four

After graduating from senior three, we went to different schools. I thought that when I went to different cities, I wouldn't think of him if I couldn't see him, so I could forget him slowly.

Until one day, he told me that they broke up. At that moment, I was bad, and I gloated because I thought I had another chance.

Although it is a different place, it doesn't matter. Distance is never a problem. Love is separated by mountains and seas, and mountains and seas can also be flat.

From then on, I rekindled my fighting spirit and said good morning and good night to him through the screen every day.

If he says he is ill, I will be more nervous than him, and I can't wait to fly to him to take care of him.

Freshman is his first birthday in college. In order to surprise him, I prepared for several weeks and bumped from my city to his city for twelve hours by train.

I think. I like him for four years. It's time to tell him.

But when I trudged to his school, I saw him holding another girl.

My tears slipped from my eyes in an instant. Is my love doomed to die, or am I wrong from the beginning? I shouldn't have fallen in love with him, always believed in hope, silently insisted on not giving up, shouldn't, shouldn't. ...

Wishful thinking, after all, I have to be willing to give up, so I gave up. Like you, this matter has always been my own mess, this love, this love, let it rot in my heart.

Put down what you can't get, and don't look back when you put it down.

Outside the window, there are lights and cars, but there is no place for me. Accompanied by me is the rumble of the green leather train.

I waved to the reflection on the window glass: goodbye, my youth, goodbye, the boy I loved.