Five measures to effectively improve children's passiveness.

What are initiative and passivity? Is there an absolute difference between good and bad? We often hear parents complain that their children are very passive, including having to help them with everything, not putting things away by themselves after use, and having poor self-care ability. All kinds of signs worry parents. Will this passive attitude affect children's future study or personality?

In fact, everyone's personality is different, even adults will be more active and passive, let alone children? Passive children don't mean "absolutely" bad. For example, in a strange and dangerous environment, passive children are safer, and active children may take some risks because of curiosity.

There are passive children at home

Every baby's temperament is innate, and different natures and acquired influences have created different personalities. Some parents and children complement each other harmoniously, while others can't keep up with each other. When the sudden wind meets a slow-witted doctor, parents will wander on the edge of madness.

Hong Meizhen, a clinical psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry, Zhongxing Hospital, Taipei United Hospital, said that if parents spend more time and energy to observe and understand their children's temperament and personality, it will be easier to understand that there are reasons behind their children's behaviors and emotional reactions, and they can also predict their emotions and behavioral reactions. Over time, they can find out strategies to cope with parenting, instead of ending up with their parents losing their temper every time.

Active vs passive, what kind of child is it?

Generally speaking, children with high initiative are willing to contact and try, know what they are going to do next, and do not need the trouble of their parents in taking care of themselves; Some passive children are born with weak attention and planning ability, and they are always confused about what they will do in the future, so they are labeled as "lazy and ready to talk" in the eyes of adults. For the reaction of some parents, the child clearly knows that it is bedtime, but he is still not ready to sleep. He has to speak a few times more and remind him again and again before getting up. In fact, children do not deliberately disobey their parents' instructions, but need more guidance to decide what to do next. Parents can judge whether their children need more help from some small details in life, such as: children always wait for invitations from others in games, or often need help from others in life, and sometimes they are similar to other personalities, but passivity does not completely equal introversion and shyness, so parents may wish to observe their treasures more so as to distinguish them.

The reasons behind negative behavior

If a child is influenced by innate temperament, he always shows a lack of interest and idleness. Parents can find that children's reactions will be similar under any circumstances. Psychologist Hong Meizhen pointed out that in addition to innate temperament, there are many factors that may contribute to children's passive performance in specific situations.

Physiological factors

When a child encounters an activity to run and jump, assuming that his original muscle strength is weak, his balance and coordination ability is poor, or he is not interested in the activity, he will show a passive appearance. It can be seen that there are reasons behind children's passive performance. If you know that you will lose or engage in activities that are not fun and good at, you will naturally be urged by adults.

psychologic factor

Some children have to explore new things slowly, unfamiliar people, unfamiliar games and unfamiliar environments, and it takes a long time to adapt and accept, which easily makes people feel "passive and always watching". In fact, children may just not know what will happen if they play. Hesitation, uncertainty or bad mood will affect children's initiative.

Hong Meizhen, a clinical psychologist of psychiatry in Zhongxing Hospital of Taipei United Hospital, consulted/interviewed/Xu Jianing model/gentle mommy Xiaohui, Meng Ge Bai Wei photography/Pandora professional children photography.