? Enterprise is my other home?

Why do people put so much affection into the enterprise? Why are our emotions always controlled by work? In fact, like families, enterprises are also emotional factories. In it, we share the same organizational model as the family, and also repeat the "tragedy", conflict, dreams and hopes of childhood.

People hope to find happiness everywhere.

At a regular meeting at the beginning of the year, everyone gathered in the conference room to draw lots to decide their new year gifts and sum up the greatest happiness in 2009. When it was summer's turn, she choked up: "My greatest happiness is everyone's concern." This is Summer's last meeting with her colleagues in this conference room. She will leave the company to pursue her dream of establishing her own independent brand.

For a long time, enterprises gave people a cold feeling, rejecting all emotions and emotions. It seems that as soon as people step into the office, they must all be nervous, keep their flowing emotions and become professional screws on the big turntable. But summer tears remind us that the workplace is not a place that is humanized by management rules. On the contrary, more and more people now put the quality of interpersonal relationship in the workplace at an important position in choosing a job.

According to the online survey of Psychological Monthly, 28. 14% people think that a good working atmosphere is more important than salary (25.43%) and corporate culture (10.95%). "Some colleagues, like a small fireworks in your pocket, light you from time to time, and you can't reply. But in the end, there are bubbles in my hands. " Liu Yang, 28, said, "I couldn't take it anymore, so I resigned. My boss gave me a raise, but I refused. The current working environment is relatively simple. Although the salary is not high, I can be happy every day. I feel very good. "

For those who are no longer willing to maintain their work at the expense of destroying their inner balance, psychoanalyst and coach Elena Vicioli explained: "Now people want to find happiness everywhere, not only between husband and wife and family, but also in the working environment." So people can't tolerate setbacks and uncomfortable interpersonal relationships more and more.

Have your needs been met?

Briant Deroche, an expert in professional interpersonal relationship management, emphasized three needs of individuals in enterprises in his book Don't treat the boss as a mother: 1. I feel that I belong to this group and my position is recognized; 2. I feel that I have the ability to know that my work is appreciated by everyone; 3. Feel the love and acceptance of others.

If these needs are not met, people will subconsciously be forced to adopt strategies used at home, especially in stressful situations. For example, many employees have to kiss up to their bosses in order to ensure their own interests, even if it makes them hate themselves. This choice is actually the same as pleasing your father when you were a teenager.

The original organizational model of human beings is family. From the perspective of psychoanalysis, social contact is always the repetition of human past experience. Roland Brunel, a psychoanalyst, said: "Although not all enterprises are like families, enterprises are a' big family' after all."

Those recurring conflicts, dreams and hopes

"Department reorganization,' airborne' a leader, I suddenly changed from a decision-maker to an executor, and felt a strong sense of betrayal. Later I found out, why should I suffer extra? Because I remembered the birth of my younger brother when I was a child, I took my parents' attention away. " Sonia, who is now the artistic director of an advertising company, said.

For psychoanalysis, empathy is to repeat childhood feelings with parents, brothers, sisters and other relatives and friends on the social stage. Those "tragedies", conflicts, dreams and hopes, big or small, will be repeated in the company.

Elena Vicyali thinks: "The demands for recognition and feelings, the fear of condemnation, etc. They are all things we have experienced in the first business family. "

Enterprises will always be a cruel world.

However, is the enterprise really equal to the family? In most cases, we can't turn our colleagues into our relatives or even friends. At this time, it is very important and difficult to grasp the degree.

Olivier Devillard, a social psychologist, believes that it is dangerous to completely close one's emotions or get too close to colleagues in the workplace. "It is important to find some like-minded people within the enterprise, who will form a team from which individuals can get emotional comfort. But be careful: being too close can also make people vulnerable. "

If you trust others too much, you will lose the necessary caution. Don't forget: the workplace is always a cruel world. Chen Yan, 33, is the director of a primary school computer center. When the news that she broke up with her boyfriend spread all over the school, she understood one thing: "They and I are still' good friends' and' good buddies', but I will never talk about personal problems again."

How far can we go?

When people involve emotions in their work, there is an eternal question: how far can we go? How to balance sincerity and self-protection?

In enterprises, we often meet people who make all relationships emotional and let others touch their' human identity'; There is another kind of people, on the contrary, whose "role identity" is infinitely magnified. They are no longer "people", but completely "positions".

Both of these situations are extremes of "going far". However, it is really difficult to switch between these two roles freely. Experts suggest that in order to distinguish these two identities, we must always reflect on ourselves. Introspection can help people avoid overreaction.

It seems that to prevent professional life from becoming a burden on our lives, we must strike a balance between our minds and hearts. This is the challenge we face every day.