Three major illusions in life, the sooner you recognize them, the better

Text/Beige Xiaochuang

There are many illusions in life, such as: stocks are going to rise, house prices are going to fall, but he still loves you...

Romain Rolland He once said: "There is only one kind of heroism in the world, which is to still love life after recognizing the truth of life."

We don't need to be heroes, but we need to recognize some of the illusions in life, and only after recognizing them can we let go. , Only when you let go can you be light.

Especially the three major misconceptions in life, the sooner you recognize them, the better.

Some people say: “Having more friends opens up new paths.” So everyone is busy getting to know more people and expanding their social circle.

It’s true, but the more people you know, the more friends you have? Not necessarily, the fact is that because I know too many people, I don't have enough energy to cultivate relationships, so there are fewer people who actually become friends.

When we were very young, everyone had a dream. Asking everyone in the world for a dollar would make you rich. When I grow up, I find this idea too childish.

There are many powerful people in this world. You know them, but they have nothing to do with you.

In my circle of friends, there are several photographers with hundreds of thousands of Weibo followers, as well as designers who make millions a year, not to mention Bai Fumei, but what do they have to do with me? Just a nod. The circles we live in are different, and I would be embarrassed to even offer to help if something happens.

Angela Chang, once a diva-level singer, knows most of the people in the entertainment industry, but recently at the "Tucao Conference", she said: "I really don't have any friends."

After experiencing the ins and outs of relatives and friends, and her career hitting rock bottom, there were very few "friends" around Angela Chang at that time.

It is not that the more people you know, the more help you will get. When you are frustrated, it is more likely that there will be no one around you.

Only when you are strong can you be truly powerful.

There is an unspoken rule in the social circle of adulthood that no one explicitly states: the greater your value, the more enthusiastic the people who come to know you will be. Socializing without its own value is useless socializing.

The value here can be being particularly good at listening, being particularly good at adjusting the atmosphere, and being particularly good at keeping secrets. Socializing with its own value is where you come and go and talk to each other, otherwise it is just one person being hot.

It is meaningless to waste too much time socializing. Modern people pay attention to effective socializing. So if you have time to make friends everywhere, it’s better to calm yourself down, read some books, and think more.

There is a saying that is quite hypocritical, but it is also true: if you bloom, the breeze will come.

In relationships, we are all very good at comforting ourselves. If he doesn’t reply to my messages for an hour, he is in a meeting, if he doesn’t reply to my messages for 3 hours, his phone is out of battery, and if he doesn’t reply to my messages for 8 hours, he is too tired and has forgotten. Now...

In fact, I know clearly in my heart that no matter how busy I am, I can't go without replying to you for several hours. He just doesn't want to talk to you.

I actually have a WeChat friend that I don’t want to talk to. She is very annoying and sends me voice chat invitations regardless of time or occasion. I received voice calls from her at 1 o'clock in the evening, during work hours, and at 8 o'clock in the morning. They were nothing serious, just chatting.

There were several times when I reminded her that I was at work and I didn’t want to talk. I had other things to do, but she still kept chattering about household matters and played voice messages after she hung up. In the end, I naturally ignored her messages. I didn’t answer the phone and said I didn’t hear her. I only responded to her voice messages with emoticons.

A few days ago, she posted an update, accusing a friend (not me) of not replying to her message for several hours but sending it to Moments, asking if she was so busy? He also said that this approach was too disrespectful.

To be honest, I laughed when I saw this post. Others are telling you that they don’t want to talk to you in an irresponsible way, but you don’t know it.

Many times, people use not replying to messages instead of saying "You're so annoying, stop talking" or "I won't answer your questions and I don't agree with what you said". It's really because of these It was too straightforward to say anything, but I still wanted to retain some dignity.

Whether you are the one who ignores the message or the one who is ignored, you must understand that not replying to the message represents a polite rejection.

Reflect on whether your behavior has caused trouble to the other party. If not, then pick up the last bit of dignity given by the other party and stop taking the initiative.

Teacher Yu Dan once shared an experience:

She went to the hospital for a fracture and met a doctor who she got along well with - Director Zhang. During the treatment, they became very good friends. friends.

Director Zhang told her that there was a nail buried in her leg and she would have to come to him to take it out in a year. Later, Yu Dan was busy with work and did not go on time. Director Zhang reminded her several times, and she also thought: there is still time and opportunity.

Unexpectedly, Director Zhang died in the line of duty during a treatment. Her delay turned into a permanent farewell to her best friend.

The biggest illusion in life is to mistakenly believe that the future is long, only to realize in the end that things are impermanent.

Someone did a calculation:

If the average life span of a person is 78 years.

We spend 28.3 years sleeping, one-third of our time;

Working 8 hours a day, we spend 10.5 years of our lives, plus overtime and commuting, More time;

The time spent on social entertainment and interpersonal communication took up 9.5 years;

Plus the necessary scattered time for eating and sleeping, you can really control it freely The time is only 9 years.

This means that after we live to the age of forty, we have very little time left. How can there be so much time in the future? If you don’t do many things now, you will really have no chance in the future.

What people should have most is a sense of awe for time.

Spend more time with the people around you, talk to your parents, eat with your lover, and grow up with your children. Don’t be reluctant to spend your time on the important people.

Promise to your friends and fulfill them one by one. Even if it's just a shopping trip or a game of basketball, I'll make an appointment to do it when I have free time.

Take good care of your body, be less angry, don’t fight so hard, and when fate takes back your life, you can still say: I have enjoyed enough.

In this life, people are always waiting.

Waiting for the future, waiting for not being busy, waiting for next time; waiting for time, waiting for conditions, waiting for money.

Waiting until the end, waiting for no health, waiting for no opportunities, waiting for no choices; waiting for regrets, waiting for regrets.

I hope you can see the three major illusions in life sooner and live more clearly.