How does a cold-treated fat man get self-salvation?

San Mao once said: How others analyze me has nothing to do with me.

She said so and did the same. She is free and easy all her life, free from worldly constraints, going where she wants to go, doing what she wants, and loving people.

Don't care about other people's eyes, live your true self, some people can do it easily, just like Sanmao; It took some people half a lifetime to realize that they had to live for themselves, just like roxanne, the protagonist in Hunger: Memoirs of a Body.

Because of an unfortunate childhood experience, roxanne closed her heart, walked alone in the eyes of others, struggled painfully for 30 years, and finally redeemed herself because of love.

Hunger: Memoirs of a Dead Body is roxanne's autobiography, which was once rated as a good book of the year by many famous American magazines. Previously, many of her novels were on The New York Times's bestseller list and included in the shortlist for the Dayton Peace Prize.

Next, let's walk into the story in the book.

0 1/

Learning to ask for help is a compulsory course in life.

Roxanne was born in a rich and happy black family and had a carefree childhood. But everything changed when 12 years old.

One day, roxanne was lured to a small forest by a boy who admired him and his friends for a long time at the same school, and was finally bullied.

As a devout Catholic girl, roxanne felt very painful and ashamed of this experience. She resented that she trusted others, and at the same time she was ashamed to tell others about this shameful experience.

So she didn't tell anyone, including her closest parents. After returning home, she pretended to be calm and played the role of a good daughter and student in front of her parents.

However, roxanne's decision to "eat Chinese goldthread for the dumb" did not put an end to this matter.

Things spread among classmates. Moreover, as the heroine in the rumored version, instead of being a victim, she became a slut who seduced boys on her own initiative. In an instant, accusations against her flooded in.

Although things have come to this, roxanne still has no courage to tell the truth.

By chance, she found that food can bring her instant pleasure. In order to paralyze herself, she began to keep eating.

In the process of eating, she had a strange idea: men don't like fat women. As long as the body is disgusting, men will consciously stay away and then be safe.

As a result, she ate and ate more crazily, and gained at least 27 pounds in just two months.

Austrian writer Zweig said: it is difficult for a person to cope with the endless suffering in life, so he needs help from others.

When roxanne was hurt for the first time, she could have turned to her parents, police, teachers and even friends for help, but she didn't. So that the bad students who bullied her were even more unscrupulous and made rumors at school, causing secondary harm to her.

When she suffered the second injury, she still didn't choose to ask someone close to her for help, so that she found the wrong outlet for emotional venting-eating.

It was not until many, many years later that she regretted her youth and ignorance. She said that if she asked her parents for help, they would stand up for themselves and try their best to protect themselves.

No one can live like an island. No matter how good a person is, he can't solve all the problems by himself without the help of others. Therefore, learning to ask for help is not a life topic that all of us should master.

02/

Aside from other people's standards, live high likes it.

Roxanne keeps eating, eating, eating, because of her fat figure, she is not attractive to men, but they are invisible.

But what she never expected was that her huge figure would become particularly conspicuous in the crowd and even be discriminated against and spurned.

Roxanne recalled that once, when she was walking on the road, a man leaned out of the window next to her and said a lot of vulgar and ugly words to her. The only reason is that she is too fat.

Another time, she was stared at by a child in the street. The boy asked his mother curiously, "Why is this man so big?" Everyone who heard this was snickering.

Every time faced with similar taunts, roxanne felt ashamed. She didn't mean to go forward and get justice for herself at all, but fled the scene in shame.

Roxanne became so sensitive because of other people's unusual eyes that she gradually lost herself.

She likes suspenders and skirts, but these clothes will make her fat more obvious. In order not to attract attention, she had to put on a big men's T-shirt and go out.

Sometimes she goes out to eat, and the seat is too small for her to sit down. She could have asked the waiter for a bigger chair, or moved the dining table slightly to reserve a wider seat. However, in order to avoid attracting the attention of other guests in the restaurant, she always pretended to be very light and reluctantly stuffed herself into the chair.

As a result, she often feels pain all over when she gets up in the morning, and then suddenly remembers going to the restaurant for dinner the day before.

There is a good saying: living in the eyes of others, it is easy to lose yourself.

Roxanne lived by other people's standards since he was a child. Catholicism requires girls to be pure, so after being bullied, she has been afraid to tell others what happened to her, pretending that she is still the obedient and naive little girl.

Social aesthetics requires girls to be thin, and thinks that obesity is a shame. So she carefully avoided the eyes of others. In order not to attract attention, I will let my body suffer.

If you want to be wonderful in live high, you must abandon other people's standards.

Unfortunately, roxanne didn't realize this before. So, for 30 years, she has been walking around in the puzzle, suffering.

Fortunately, in her forties, she finally got out of the predicament and ushered in a new life.

03/

Love yourself, whether someone loves you or not.

Roxanne lived in loneliness and self-loathing for the first half of his life.

On the surface, her pain comes from 12 years old experience. But in fact, it can be said from another angle that roxanne thinks he is unloved, so he no longer cares about himself.

In the summer vacation of sophomore year, because of perennial depression, she finally ran away from home and lived a life of self-abandonment. As she entered the society for the first time, she was cheated out of all her money and lived a very embarrassed life.

Her parents searched for her for a year and finally found her with the help of a private detective.

Roxanne thought her parents would scold her severely, but they didn't. Instead, her parents calmly helped her pay off her debts and took her home.

Parents' words made roxanne a little stunned for a while. She played truant for a year, which caused her parents a lot of trouble, but they didn't blame her too much. Instead, I tried my best to find her and help her solve all kinds of troubles.

This is the first time roxanne realized that parents may not be as heartless as they thought, but they may love themselves.

This made roxanne plant the seeds of letting go in his heart.

Later, she wrote her own experience into a novel. When the father saw his daughter's novel in a magazine, he suddenly realized what her daughter had gone through.

When roxanne was young, he often imagined that his parents would severely blame themselves when they knew what had happened to him.

But at this point, my father has no intention of blaming. Instead, he whispered that he had read the magazine and knew what had happened. Later, he comforted, "You should be treated fairly."

Her father's words made roxanne suddenly realize that if she had been willing to tell her parents the truth, they wouldn't have blamed her for saving face. They will stand up for her and do their best to save her.

And my mother knows the truth and is soft in front of roxanne. She reflected on her way of education and talked about her desire for the future, but never talked about that old thing.

The gentleness shown by parents after knowing the truth made roxanne know that their parents love not their so-called innocent, obedient and sensible daughter, but their true self from beginning to end. She knows that she deserves to be loved.

Roxanne finally unloaded the big stone that had been in his heart for 30 years. She was completely relieved.

She is no longer worried about what happened to her, and she is no longer tossing her body. More importantly, she began to learn to face up to others' eyes, no longer denying and rejecting her body because of others' likes and dislikes, but enjoying the present physical state.

I have heard a saying: whether I love you or not, please love yourself first.

I'm impressed.

At first, roxanne thought he was unloved, so he took a long detour. Fortunately, she was saved by her parents' love. She began to learn to love herself and enjoy life.

04/

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As the saying goes, nine times out of ten things in life are unpleasant.

Many hardships in life are unpredictable, but the attitude towards difficulties is something we can choose.

No matter whether the days are bitter or sweet, only by loving yourself, being brave, optimistic and happy can we live a short life.