YINGYING ZHANG's head was found (929th day after losing YINGYING ZHANG).

His father, Zhang, felt very lonely, and his relatives and friends hardly moved. "No one can really understand my pain." He said.

He has been trying to contact Jiangge's mother, Jiang Qiulian, without success. Later, through the matchmaking of media reporters, the two finally had a short conversation, and Jiang Qiulian advised him to force himself to be strong.

Last year, a mother who also lost her son abroad came to see him from Hunan. They cried and talked for a long time. But many times, Zhang can only swallow the pain of losing his daughter alone.

▲ YINGYING ZHANG photo

165438+ 10 15, the documentary "Undercover Girlfriend" about the YINGYING ZHANG case was broadcast, and many details of the case and the "horror recording" recorded by the suspect's girlfriend were revealed, which once again reminded people of the missing China girl in the United States. But even though the murderer has been caught, YINGYING ZHANG's body is still missing.

On February 24th, 65438, Zhang had lost his daughter for 929 days. He sued the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign for the unit that recommended his daughter to go abroad ... He didn't know what went wrong. But no one is responsible for this except a murderer who is imprisoned for life.

"My daughter is gone. What if something happens to him again? "

When Zhang crept out of the room, his wife Ye was not asleep. Listening to her husband's footsteps downstairs, she shed tears under the covers again.

Losing their daughter for more than two years, insomnia has become their normal state. The husband misses his daughter and she misses her daughter. But she had to cheer up and worry about her husband wandering in the street in the early morning of winter night.

▲ Zhang smokes in the mountains.

Last year, in June 5438+10, Zhang fell down the stairs and injured three ribs, and finally stayed in the hospital for 12 days. On another occasion, he drove the company leader to the rural hydropower station to check the equipment, missed the exit of the expressway, and didn't find it until the leader woke up.

Some time ago, a friend of mine asked Zhang to drive a van. He wanted to leave, but Ye Mo Lifeng refused to say anything. "My daughter is gone. What if something happens to him again? "

165438+ 10 This month, the night temperature in Jianyang, Fujian has dropped below 10℃. Zhang went through several narrow lanes and came to Chongyang River. He walked along Chongyang River for a while, smoked a cigarette, turned on the East Bridge, walked for a while, and reached the foot of the mountain.

He usually spends 1 hour climbing the mountain, sitting at the top of the mountain for 3 hours, smoking a pack of cigarettes and then spending 1 hour walking back. There is no one on the top of the mountain, and he doesn't have to take care of his family's emotions. He can howl loudly. Sometimes, at dawn, Ten Shimoyama will go to the company and sit for hours, waiting to punch in at 9 o'clock.

▲ 20 19 12 17. Zhang smokes in the company dormitory bed. He suffers from insomnia every day. After going out to climb the mountain, I came back and sat in the company for several hours.

Zhang works as a driver in a hydropower company with a monthly salary of 265,438+000 yuan. Because of the high expenses at home, he also works part-time as a security guard. When he is not out of the car, he sits in the security room to watch the monitoring and send and receive documents-he is a temporary worker, and he doesn't get paid if he doesn't go to work. He took a lot of leave because of his daughter, and came to work a few days after returning to China on August 30 this year.

"I can't go to work all day now." In the company security room, Zhang lit a cigarette. After my daughter's accident, my wife didn't go to work again because she was in a bad mood. My son is an apprentice in a restaurant, and he basically has no salary. The expenses of the whole family, plus the foreign debt owed, are all on him.

▲ Zhang is on duty in the security room.

Because he doesn't drink, smoking has become his only comfort. 5.5 yuan has a pack of seven wolves. He smokes three packs of cigarettes a day, one after another. Anxiety surrounded him like smoke. He covered the white hair that began to appear in the past two years with a cap, but his thick bags under his eyes and yellowed skin still made him look haggard and old.

"They don't know my pain."

Every Sunday, whenever she is free, Ye will take Zhang around and chat and sing with everyone. Many people comfort them to forget the past and move on, but Zhang doesn't like to hear such words. "How could I forget? They have no idea of my pain. "

Zhang, 1964, a rural person near Jianyang. When his peers chose to farm and go out to work, he learned to drive through training classes and became one of the few people in Jianyang who had a driver's license.

My friend remembers that Zhang came to his factory as a driver on 1985 to help the company transport goods to the cities around Jianyang. At that time, they lived in a dormitory, and the most talked about was the future. Zhang has a strong sense of responsibility and is very popular with colleagues and leaders. At that time, Ye's mother took a fancy to Zhang and asked the matchmaker to marry her daughter to him.

▲ Zhang's job is a driver.

199065438+In February, Zhang Heye got married soon and her daughter was born. It is recalled that Zhang invited relatives and friends to drink at home when her daughter was full moon. He took her out for everyone to see, and his face was full of joy. "At that time, there was a preference for boys in the countryside, but he didn't. That kind of joy is from the heart. "

Ye can still remember cooking breakfast for her daughter. At that time, YINGYING ZHANG was still in primary school, and he read the text upstairs every morning. At seven o'clock, he rushed downstairs, drank a few mouthfuls of porridge, and grabbed steamed bread while biting and running.

In junior high school, my English began to perform well, and many neighbors asked Ye how to learn English. She asked her daughter, who said: It is best to get up early every day and read English on an empty stomach. After that, YINGYING ZHANG was admitted to the Olympiad class in Jianyang No.1 Middle School, and his high school performance was stable at six or seven.

At several parent-teacher conferences, Zhang was invited to take the stage to share her experience in educating her daughter. He stood on the platform and didn't know what to say. He stammered out a few words: we have no culture, and our daughters rely on themselves. The parents below applauded and said that he was very modest.

▲ Zhang goes home.

At that time, Zhang's life was not rich, but it was also happy. Enthusiasm and kindness are many friends' comments on this family. In the impression of neighbors, YINGYING ZHANG has always been a schoolmaster and seldom goes out to play. If someone knocks at the door of the Zhang family, she will stick her head out of the second floor window. People who go home for tea and chat envy Zhang for having such an excellent daughter.

In order to save 70,000 yuan for his family, YINGYING ZHANG once gave up the opportunity to study in Canada. Later, she went to America, and Zhang expressed her support. But he doesn't know the cost of going abroad. "At that time, I borrowed twenty thousand dollars from my daughter. She didn't want it again, and I didn't ask much. "

If possible, I hope someone can give psychological counseling.

YINGYING ZHANG went home for three days before going abroad.

Since she went to college, teaching, summer camp and participating in various academic exchanges have filled her life. She goes home for a month at most every summer, and sometimes only for a few days when she is a graduate student. Every time she comes back, Ye wants her daughter to sleep with her. YINGYING ZHANG always goes to bed and hugs her for a while after she is busy.

▲ YINGYING ZHANG Room

Being so far away from home this time, Ye is going to buy a gift for her daughter. She wants to buy a silver bracelet, but YINGYING ZHANG doesn't want to spend money. Finally, Ye bought two red bracelets, one for herself and one for her daughter wearing a golden horse pendant.

On April 23rd, 20 17, the whole family sent YINGYING ZHANG to high-speed railway station. Before entering the station, YINGYING ZHANG suggested taking a photo with his parents. The younger brother took the phone, Ye took the hand, the daughter took the father's hand, and the three smiled at the camera. Then the daughter turned and drifted away.

▲ The photos taken on April 38+07, 2065 are still saved on the host computer in Zhang Rong.

The news that my daughter lost contact was 1 1, 2065438 on the evening of June 6th. At that time, Zhang was in Wenzhou sports car, and it rained heavily. He rushed back to Jianyang overnight. He originally wanted to hide it from his wife Ye, but he was soon caught. His wife was ill, so he had to take his wife and sister to America first.

At that time, Ye lay in bed all day waiting for news, and called the United States early every day to urge her not to go out and find someone. Later, she couldn't stand it and went to America. Later, it was a long search and wait.

On July 18 this year, the murderer Christensen was finally sentenced to life imprisonment without commutation or parole for kidnapping and killing YINGYING ZHANG and two counts of "perjury". But so far, YINGYING ZHANG's body has not been found.

▲ 20 19 12 17, you can see the night view of Jianyang district halfway up the mountain, and Zhang stops to look at the moon.

My friend remembers that during the trial, when Zhang learned the details of his daughter's murder, he completely collapsed. He called Wang Guofu and said that his daughter had died miserably. He didn't believe it. Finally, he burst into tears.

After returning home, I went to Zhang's home and found that Zhang's life was completely ruined: Zhang looked dull and didn't want to say anything; Ye Mo Lifeng unkempt, stumbling, with tears in his eyes.

Zhang and Ye can't figure out how such an excellent daughter suddenly disappeared, leaving nothing behind. They tried to find out what went wrong. But the final result is always endless quarrels: Zhang thinks that he has not made any money, otherwise his daughter will not move to the dormitory and nothing will happen; Ye Dui bears a grudge because she missed the last chance to talk to her daughter at work.

▲ Zhang looked at her daughter's photo.

Overnight, Zhang felt that he had nothing: his daughter was dead, the murderer was still alive, and there was not even a penny of compensation.

Knowing that Christensen had gone to the school psychological counseling center for help three times, and even revealed a tendency to kill, Zhang seemed to finally find his inner outlet.

In June this year, he filed a civil lawsuit and took the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (UIUC) to court, hoping that the school would provide reasonable compensation to the Zhang family for the fault of its psychological counseling center. However, the school flatly rejected these requests and filed a motion to dismiss the case.

Zhang said that not long ago, he called the unit that recommended his daughter to go abroad, but there was no result.

Zhang also wants to find these units, but the economy does not allow it. Later, I heard that a British documentary film crew was coming to shoot the material, and he hoped to follow them. He also wants to go to the United States again, but he finds that he can't even get a visa-he once had a boyfriend from YINGYING ZHANG to help him, but now someone else is going to start a new life, and he doesn't want to bother him anymore.

▲ Zhang is lying in a gazebo on the mountain, watching a documentary about his daughter with his mobile phone, and sometimes he sleeps here.

"Many people think that we get a lot of help, but in fact there is nothing." He said he didn't want money, but he just wanted someone to help him follow up the information released by the United States at any time and help them with psychological counseling if possible.

I hope my grandson is a girl.

In this family, no one will take the initiative to mention Yingying, but at some point, the topic will come to YINGYING ZHANG.

In March this year, Zhang's second son and daughter-in-law got a marriage certificate. Considering the family situation, they didn't hold a wedding. It was not until June+10 in 5438 that my grandson was born, which suppressed the family atmosphere for more than two years and finally had a glimmer of life.

Nowadays, Ye has to help her daughter-in-law cook and take care of the children most of the day, which brings her some comfort, but she is still a little selfish. "I hope it is a girl." She said, "It's like Yingying coming back to me."

Daughter-in-law also knows Ye's mind. She said that sometimes she looks sad at her parents and wants to comfort them but doesn't know what to say. Getting married and having children so soon is in the hope that the new life will alleviate the pain of the two old people.

Now, all the memories about her daughter are locked in the attic on the fourth floor by Zhang Rongsuo. This is YINGYING ZHANG's room. Desk, guitar, world map, books left by my daughter, photo albums and diaries brought back from America, almost all the facilities have not changed.

▲ YINGYING ZHANG Diary

When Zhang misses his daughter, he will open his photo album and diary to read. The diary records my daughter's trivial daily life after 20 13 and 1 2 months, including boring campus life, sweet love and thinking about social problems. Sometimes, Zhang can't stand it just by reading a few pages.

It was so uncomfortable that he went to the attic to smoke. This is his own stool, and there is an ashtray next to it, which is full of cigarette butts. He often needs to smoke several cigarettes in a row, then go back to the attic, first check whether the window is closed, close the curtains, then put the diary and photo album back, and finally pick up the photo frames of his two daughters on the bookshelf, turn them over, turn off the lights and lock the door.

The title page of that diary reads: I want to keep my precious years and footprints ... for tomorrow, for myself now and in the past. Life is too short to be ordinary. Life is too short to be ordinary. )

Red Star Journalist Pan Photography