Be anxious if you are anxious, as long as you don’t forget to move forward

He is 30 years old this year, living in a second-tier city, doing a job he doesn’t like, and making a moderate amount of money. He is scared when he sees his peers living too well. Young people will be anxious when they catch up, and occasionally they will be irritable because of their parents' urging for life-long events.

He said that he felt that he was living a "similar" life. He was not very happy, but he seemed to be about the same. He was not very lonely, but he seemed to be about the same. He just looked at himself in the mirror often, and would An inexplicable feeling of disgust and powerlessness arose.

Where this feeling came from, he couldn't tell.

She once traveled from Sichuan to Beijing alone when she was 19 years old. She also rode a motorcycle across the Eurasian continent in 169 days when she was 23 years old.

We chatted with her about the anxieties, regrets and lives of young people who are too embarrassed to talk about it.

"What do you think of young people's anxiety?" I asked her.

"My grandma is over 80 years old, but she still has her own anxiety. Anxiety is an eternal accessory of human beings." She answered me this way.

What is anxiety?

As a hotly discussed word in the past two years, this word has been mentioned very frequently around us recently. We call the pressure caused by buying a car and a house anxiety, and we call the fear of being The sense of urgency to catch up with peers is called anxiety, and we call the sense of inability to achieve staged goals in sight anxiety...

In this sense, Lian Mingqiao is also a People with anxiety.

At the age of 19, I was working in real estate planning, but I didn’t like it, and I was also confused about the meaning of my life;

At the age of 23, I traveled across Asia and Europe, and then I was sought after, but I felt that I was worthy. Not to mention the swarming praises;

Now I am almost 30 years old. Looking at the age that keeps moving forward, I sometimes worry that I have not become the person I want to be;

< p> But is anxiety in this sense necessarily a bad thing? Not necessarily.

Lian Mingqiao believes: As a young person, we are exploring the best way to get along with the world every day. The future is big enough and scary enough, but there is no need to exaggerate this fear.

Be anxious if you are anxious, as long as you don’t forget to move forward.

She wrote in her new book "The Wind Goes Wild": I am a fugitive, a falling leaf. What I need is not a new shelter, nor human company. I need the wind, without it I will fall to the ground.

Lian Mingqiao was born in a small mountain village in Sichuan. In her book, it was a place called Dahe Mountains.

If she had followed the conventional path, her future would have been predictably smooth, but at the age of 23, she chose to leave it all behind, ride a motorcycle, and ride alone. On the journey to Istabul.

169 days later, when she decided to end this journey, praises poured in. Likewise, if she had taken advantage of the situation at this time, she might have gained a certain national reputation now, but after returning to China , but she chose to leave it all behind and hide for 5 years.

In order to express regret, her friends even used a very vivid metaphor. They said that Lian Mingqiao missed an opportunity to catch a plane. Because of these two choices, Lian Mingqiao now only I can move forward on a motorcycle.

Do you regret it?

"Regret? I do have a lot of regrets, but I have never regretted anything. Regret can easily lead to self-pity, and self-pity can lead to discouragement." Lian Mingqiao replied.

She also gave an example:

There are two kinds of screws in front of me now, one is 5 yuan, the quality is average, the other is 50 yuan, the quality is very good, I am very happy. I like it, but I can only afford it for 5 yuan, what should I do?

It would be really ugly if I bought a 5-dollar screw and cursed it while using it, struggling, twisting, and complaining.

Similarly, if I have enough money and can afford that 50-yuan screw, do I have the right to criticize that cheap screw? Is there any nobler arrogance than his? It’s not necessary!

Yes, if we choose what we can accept, and then accept what we choose, life will be much easier. This is matching.

Before interviewing Lian Mingqiao, I read her new book "The Wind Goes Wild", and I had some doubts about the "truth" mentioned repeatedly in her book.

In modern society, everyone wears a mask to live. We show our carefully whitewashed side in our circle of friends and hide all our ugliness and ugliness in front of others.

In such a social environment, does it really make sense to emphasize authenticity?

Regarding this, Lian Mingqiao said: The truth and whitewashing in life are not that important, and there is no right or wrong. After all, everyone is fighting hard in life and struggling to find a way out.

She mentioned a recent incident.

Some time ago, she held a photography exhibition.

When looking at the photos she took, she discovered a very interesting phenomenon. Among the more than 300 photos, nearly half were of the back, and the other half were the closest ones, the faces of people.

At that moment, she suddenly realized that the person hidden behind those photos turned out to be a timid, cowardly, careless person who was good at breaking into other people's worlds.

To be honest, at that moment, I was a little surprised, surprised by her awareness and honesty of her sobriety.

Then, whether it was in her book or in the interview, I felt strongly that Lian Mingqiao never seemed to think that she was a very powerful person. The positioning has always been that of a young man who wants to leave some traces in this world.

There is no doubt that humans are born to lie. In modern society, most people have become accustomed to demanding themselves and enjoying the pleasure of living in lies, but few people do. Explore the depths of your soul and examine your own beauty and ugliness.

But Lian Mingqiao used her sobriety to tell us that what is true and what is false may not be important to others, but it is important to oneself.

Just like she wrote in the book: Life is full of lies, but some people use fantasy to create beautiful houses, while others use it to sharpen sharp knives.

Some time ago, I saw this paragraph on the Internet: A person has to go through three stages in his life. The first stage is to accept his parents as ordinary people. The second stage is to accept himself as an ordinary person. The third stage is to accept the child as an ordinary person.

While I smiled knowingly, I felt a little bitter at the same time.

Because there are indeed many people around us who are slowly coming to terms with their own ordinaryness amidst the trivialities and difficulties of life.

Regarding this issue, Lian Mingqiao wrote in the book: "I may not be able to accept the truth that life is hopeless, ordinary, and will eventually die. Perhaps, I will never be tamed by it." < /p>

She believes that everyone is a genius, and everyone is also an emerald stone. The energy contained in it is beyond their imagination, but most people prefer to choose a more comfortable way of living. , and abandoned this energy, there is no right or wrong in this choice.

It’s just that someone has to persevere, and she happens to be the one who doesn’t want to give up that energy yet.

Mr. Mu Xin once said: Many people’s disappointment is due to their violation of their youthful aspirations. I think I am mature, I think I am sophisticated, I think I think I am shrewd, I used to be naive, but I finally see through it and think through it. As a result, we become the kind of people we hated most when we were young.

Lian Mingqiao, who is now almost 30 years old, is still trying many new possibilities. She has written books, participated in film production, directed, and loved others. She has never given up and tried her best. Leave some traces of yourself in this world.

At the end of "The Wind Goes Wild", Lian Mingqiao wrote: Introspecting in the traces of the past, running in the boundless world, not forgetting gentleness in the free and wild instinct, and, not forgetting Find the source that never ceases.

I hope we can all live the way we like.