How to judge whether a man is suitable for marriage?

This question has a premise: you know yourself well enough to know who you want to marry.

If this premise holds, then this problem holds; If this premise is not established, then the question is meaningless.

The following answers are based on this premise.

It's time to talk about this topic with the thinking of product managers. Say the answer first: look at three points, the first and third views are consistent; Second, mental maturity; Third, the ability circle can be extended.

People, like products, are multi-dimensional and can be divided into five levels from the inside out: three views, mind, ability circle, resource structure and perception layer.

Perception layer is the overall impression brought to you by a person's appearance, style and behavior.

"Does he look good?" "She is very determined." "She looks like Tang Wei." All fall into this category.

Resource structure refers to a person's family background, contacts, social resources and material wealth.

"What does his family do? What do you do? Do you have a room? Do you have a car? How much deposit is there? " All fall into this category.

The ability circle is what kind of ability a person has and the potential for ability growth.

"He is particularly talented." "He is a potential stock." "He can do business and write poems." Generally fall into this category.

Simply speaking, the mind is how a person looks at problems and thinks about them.

"He has many tricks." "He thinks differently." "He has a particularly profound insight on this issue." All fall into this category.

Three views are a person's sense of existence. In short, how does he deal with the relationship with the world? How does he deal with other people? How does he handle his relationship with himself?

"I live to change the world." "I would rather change myself than change the world." Generally fall into this category.

As you can see, the outside part is easier to see. For example: perception layer and resource structure layer.

After all, "good looking and powerful" can be seen through at a glance.

However, the more the inner part, the more it determines a person's future trajectory and the stability of his relationship with you. They are a person's bottom operating system.

Therefore, to judge whether a person is suitable for marriage, in addition to the explicit indicators of perception layer and resource structure layer, I suggest you take a look at his bottom operating system: three views, mind and ability circle.

Because the three views are matched, the mind is mature, and the ability circle can be extended, which is the basis for a stable and interesting marriage.

Let's be specific.

First, the three views match.

I once met a boss whose business principle was: as long as he didn't break the law, he could do whatever he wanted to make money. Don't talk to me about long-term thoughts and feelings. Get out!

In his worldview, money is the underlying logic that drives the world to run.

In his outlook on life: living = making money.

In his values: employees who can't help him make more money are not good employees; A marriage that can't help him maximize his interests is not a good marriage.

So he became a money-making machine.

He also achieved great success in the secular sense.

I also know a girl, born in 1993, who lived in seclusion in Zhong Nanshan for many years, making a living by photography and self-media.

In her worldview, individual will is the underlying logic that drives the world to run.

In her outlook on life: personal freedom = living.

In her values: anything that prevents her from realizing her free will is not worth doing; Everything that can set people free is worth doing, even at the expense of illness and family happiness in the secular sense.

So she lived to be a walking poet in Tang and Song Dynasties.

She has also achieved great success, but not in the secular sense.

They all live a transparent life, although they are on two opposite roads.

If you want a poetic life, then if you marry the first person, life is definitely worse than death; If you pursue the happiness of your wife and children, then if you marry a second girl, life will become Warcraft.

Only when the three views fit together can we enjoy wonderful life and stories on the same life channel.

Second, mental maturity.

Typical representatives are Li XiaoLu and Cecilia Cheung.

At the age of seventeen, Li XiaoLu won the Golden Horse Award for "Heavenly Bath".

At the age of 23, Cecilia Cheung won an Academy Award for Never Forget.

Both of them are talented players, and both of them have got good cards.

And they all married good people, and their married life is enviable.

Results Li XiaoLu insisted on learning rap from bad boys, and the key was to go to bed; Cecilia Cheung insisted on learning photography from Mr. Chen on the plane. The key is to laugh so happily.

In the end, the happiness that two people got by luck was exchanged by strength.

The crux of the matter is that both sisters are rigid-minded.

One of the characteristics of rigid mind is that I feel very good and am too lazy to change myself.

So, you expect them to change, no way!

A person's mind is extremely difficult to change. You don't need to turn your marriage into another person's transformation. But people with mature minds: first, there is no defect in their minds; Second, the mind is flexible and open, not rigid and closed, and there is room for growth; Third, the mind has the ability of self-evolution.

With such people, your happiness will be fuller and your marriage relationship will be much more stable.

Third, the ability circle can be extended.

A person's ability circle is the embodiment of his three views and mind.

What kind of world outlook and mind a person has, what kind of ability circle he will have.

Many entrepreneurs in China have been divorced, such as Ren and Lei Jun. ......................................................................................................................................................

I also know many divorced bosses.

If we don't look at this problem from the perspective of humanity and morality, we will find that many times two people can't go on because of their different horizons and abilities.

Just like a boss told me: In the early days of starting a business, both of them made money for their families, and in order to make themselves better, their directions and goals were the same; When the enterprise grows bigger, she wants to keep an acre of land and I want the stars and the sea; I feel that two people are walking on two roads more and more, farther and farther, until they can't see each other.

The ability circle can be extended, so that your ability can evolve and synchronize with your partner's ability, so that they will not get separated in the jungle of life.

Buffett said: Marriage is the riskiest investment.

Ironically, many people will weigh the pros and cons when buying a pair of shoes, but on the issue of marriage, they either follow their feelings, are confused by appearances, or go to the hospital in a hurry.

My wish is that there are fewer marriages in the world, such as Su Xiangmao's, Wang's and Jerry's. You can enjoy a sweet marriage, indulge in the world, and envy the immortal.