Degang Guo's classic quotation-Don't laugh, don't charge.

Degang Guo's classic quotation-Don't laugh, don't pay. Degang Guo's Quotations: Give a dime of watermelon and weigh it on time.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Rogues know martial arts. No one can stop it.

Degang Guo's Quotations: People who don't know him have never eaten pork.

Degang Guo's Quotations: I haven't eaten for days, and everyone looks like pancakes.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Listen to cross talk for twenty, and make a noise for sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Just then, Bush's BP machine rang, which was obviously English.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Do they have a family style? If you don't pick things up in the aisle, you'll lose them.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Your * * * looks like my charm when I was young.

Degang Guo's Quotations: You have a good physique. I can see at a glance that you must live to death.

Quotations from Degang Guo: This young man looks like an actor. ...

Degang Guo's Quotations: The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear clothes inside.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Last time I drank too much, I used chopsticks as chicken feet and ate them for one and a half hours.

Degang Guo's quotation: "Dad, I'm hungry!" "Hungry again, didn't you eat last year?"

Degang Guo's Quotations: You poke a noodle into the lock, it will open, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

Degang Guo's Quotations: I can throw the ball very far. People who are told by the coach don't count!

Degang Guo's Quotations: Don't leave after the party. I'll treat you to dinner, and whoever goes will pay.

Degang Guo's Quotations: (Isn't that a blonde? ) nonsense, it's blonde, with your eyes closed.

Degang Guo's Quotations: This brain is as big as a pine nut. When you open the skull, you can cook it in a bowl.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Would you like to listen? Are you willing to listen or are you willing to listen? I will never insist.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Oh! He grinned at me! You think I dare not stew you. If we had a pot at home, I would stew you.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Come to heaven, the buildings here are beautiful, and there are signs on both sides: No stalls around heaven 100 meters!

Quotations from Degang Guo: If you want to eat a hamburger, wrap it in a piece of paper and open it; Want to eat crabs, uncover them; Want to drink milk, take the steamed bread and pull it. ...

Quotations from Degang Guo: The story told today is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period,

period ...

Degang Guo's Quotations: I want to buy 50 good cars-Alto, Alto, Alto ...! Get up with a dart and drive like a train!

Degang Guo's Quotations: A senior was very successful and took 1.83 million cash at 5:40 pm.

When we arrived, it was still blocked with the North Third Ring Road.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Nothing can stop his door, nothing can stop his lock, only the security lock of the bank. He can pry it open with celery.

Degang Guo's Quotations: We got lost on the way. He took out a bunch of instruments and pointed to the needles in the southeast, northwest and northwest ... I said you were all behind, so we had to adopt advanced methods and throw shoes.

Degang Guo's Quotations: I spent ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school. I was named the most familiar face in the school. The new teacher came and I asked the inside story of the school. ...

Degang Guo's Quotations: I ordered shark's fin fried rice, but I couldn't find shark's fin with three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin.

Quotations from Degang Guo: Give forty steamed buns, eighty catties of pancakes, and fry two copies of this recipe-

There are many ways, which are too bad for food.

Degang Guo's Quotations: The old man is in good health, but his mouth is full of teeth, only one tooth is left. When he eats, his teeth are blocked ... He eats lotus roots.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Tian Er flew up, ran down the road with his head down and left. He picked up his head and had a little contest with this stone ... Tian Er lost.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Jumping off a building is too coke. I studied it. The twentieth floor and the second floor have different effects. The second floor is bang, ah! Twentieth floor. Yeah ~ ~ ~ Bang! high-tech

Degang Guo's Quotations: Don't hit him or scold him. You just want money, so we can discuss it. But to put it bluntly, more than 100 yuan can kill the ticket.

Degang Guo's classic quotations can be found in more than 100 classic paragraphs. Because they have been used many times, the source is not difficult to find. But what is not listed at night can only be typed, and no one will answer without scores. If you only ask one or two sentences, you will certainly answer a lot.

Seeking Degang Guo's Classic Quotations ~ ~ ~ First of all, I declare that Lao Guo's classic sentences are often used repeatedly, and I can't tell each source. I can only name one or two sources I know. For example, hooligans know martial arts and no one can stop them. There may be other jokes, but I only know or can only think of these two sources, so I can only share what I know with you, thank you!

1, the party is over, don't go. I'll treat you to dinner, and whoever goes will pay. (I want happiness)

2. Is this sentence for the backstage? (I want to travel)

3, spend 200 yuan to buy a pig, drink water with a squeak, eat beans, throw it over the wall, and guess what-dead! (Yellow Crane Tower)

4. Cough is not just collecting money. (Wu pendant, Xihe scriptures)

5, the wild animals in the mountains are swallows in the clouds, the cattle and sheep on the land are fresh at the bottom of the sea, the shark wings of the monkey's bird's nest, and the deer's tail tip of the bear's paw scallop! Throw away your cheeks and open your back teeth. Food is like the flowing water of the Yangtze River, like wind and clouds, like dumping dirt in a box ...

6. Pancakes and steamed buns are eaten with rice. (poor and crazy)

7. Good crosstalk! Carry forward the truth, goodness and beauty, and make Huoxiang upright. (I want to fight against the three customs)

8. English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic, West Slavic ... I can speak seven or eight foreign languages, and I don't take Eight-Nation Alliance seriously. (On the Current Situation of Crosstalk in 50 Years)

9. This matter is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask them-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. (Ugly Queen)

10, hooligans know martial arts and no one can stop them. (Bodyguard, I am a gangster)

1 1, a scientist with a way. (I am a scientist)

12. The house we live in is full of holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes when the rain is too heavy, the whole family takes shelter in the streets. (Entrust a wife to a child)

13, ok? Did I tell you? I can't do this with you! (article meeting)

14, what's your name again? Don't say that. You said it was a curse. (Tofu Club)

15, if you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it. (Entrusted his wife to his son, Dou's daughter)

16, make people like pine nuts, open a bowl of stew. (jumping)

Thank you for your encouragement! As for Dou Peng, I am a writer and I want to learn. There are many jokes at the beginning. )

18, you look like my charm! (big bodyguard)

Degang Guo's classic quotations:

The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already? I looked up and found it was moonlight. My name is Degang Guo, and I'm not a famous crosstalk performer "Degang Guo".

1. I'm glad many people came. (Starting tonight)

2, I am a scientist, a scientist with a road. (sheep in the tree)

3, cross talk pays attention to four lessons: pit, Mongolia, turn, cheat! In the Peony Award, He, He, He and Yu said this sentence in Red Flowers and Green Leaves.

4. Would you like to listen? Are you willing to listen or are you willing to listen? Pick it yourself, I will never force it. (To tell the truth, three tests steamed bones)

I am used to sleeping at home. I have been a scientist all my life.

6. Hello friends on the third floor! ! ! (hold: there is a third floor here) (selling hanging tickets)

7, deserved it, died ~ ~ ~ ~ (my life)

8. Sing "The Big Truth"16,000 times (return to the arena for a short period of "The Big Truth")

9. Many cross talks are made up, but this one is true. (Ugly girl looking for a husband, sister Yu Qian's version)

10, I'm dying (sheep in the tree)

1 1, regardless of the law, I would have killed him (on the status quo of cross talk for 50 years)

12, don't even like the slag river? You forgot your roots! (On the Status Quo of Crosstalk in Fifty Years)

13, I've been an artist for more than a week ~ ~ ~ (double allegro, fighting for women, Yellow Crane Tower)

14, six grenades for one dollar, I'll throw you a hundred dollars first! (I'm a gangster)

15, this matter is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask them-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period (ugly queen).

16, hooligans know martial arts and no one can stop them. Scientists know martial arts at home, and hooligans can't stop them. (I am a scientist)

17. Thank God for giving me pot-stewed dishes. Who took it away for me when I opened my eyes? (dream marriage)

18. The house we live in is full of holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains inside and outside the rainy house, and it rains inside and outside the rainy house. Sometimes it rains too hard, so the whole family takes shelter in the streets. (Entrust a wife to a child)

19, I started your business (I want happiness, I want anti-three customs)

20, this depends on rice, four dishes and one soup. Pepper and potato chips, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, shredded pork with fish flavor, cucumber patties, and enough rice (Wenxun)

2 1, say another one, say what? Tell me something practical (used as a starting point in many return channels)

22. This old man is really humorous (Journey to the West)

23. Where did it come from? (I want happiness)

24. This is my magnetic reality (jumping)

25, beautiful ~ ~ ~ bright (west is a dream, my life)

26. I love the ancient road (the sheep on the tree)

Come on, all of you. How exciting (uncovering tiles)

He is very important in this matter (Xi Zhengmeng)

29, armpit is cumin flavor (dream marriage)

30. I don't often watch the law online (I don't know who I'm hurting) (looking for church meetings)

3 1, there is plenty of cow dung (in this life)

32, this coke book (Oriental Travel Notes)

33. No one who doesn't know Yu Qian has ever eaten pork.

34. It takes a lot of effort to say cross talk. I am sweating here. You can't see people sweating, but people are sweating (red event)

Carla is a dog. I wrote it. I am going to write another one. Yu Qian is a pig. (I am a writer)

36. As we all know, Guan Yu, Liu Bei and Zhang banged their heads on the ground, only one person was short. Later, they followed the Tang Priest to the Western Heaven for Buddhist scriptures. This event is recorded in A Dream of Red Mansions. (Criticizing the Three Kingdoms, I am a writer)

37. This is too * * *. (Jing Li racing, also known as racing adventure)

38 years old, and ... Take the teacher, his father and Lao Zhaoman as examples ... (I am a gangster)

39. This young man looks like an actor, burying his face (I'm going to the Spring Festival Evening).

40, plasma TV, I also get one, find a friend to leave me one. The size of a wall! Big TV, Motorola brand! ... no one is watching, and the TV is ringing: the TV you are watching is out of service! (I want happiness)

4 1. From now on, I will never eat lobster again. (Xi Zhengmeng)

42, a steak, no beef, I love onions, put more onions! (dream marriage)

Degang Guo's classic quotations are very interesting. Marry a daughter-in-law, and the whole family has a daughter-in-law Isn't it saving money?

Degang Guo Crosstalk Classic Quotations Latest Quotations Swearing Quotations Degang Guo Classic Funny Quotations Daquan Degang Guo Crosstalk Classic Quotations Latest Quotations Swearing Quotations

Degang Guo's classic funny quotations

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Degang Guo's classic quotations, the funnier the better. In fact, Lao Guo's jokes are traditional, except for some.

Many of them are also adapted from popular jokes on the Internet.

Lao Guo's performance is really good, which adds a lot of color to his cross talk.

In addition, as the saying goes, "three points are funny, seven points are holding".

Teacher Yu Qian's skill is really deep and his grip is really good.

Therefore, it is suggested that the landlord should look at Lao Guo's phonology.

Maybe you just listen to other people's cross talk.

But in Lao Guo, just listening to MP3 is definitely not that much fun.

As for quotations, they are even more boring.

Lao Guo said the same sentence in his own language, actions and ways, and put it in the teacher's hand.

More coke than others say!

Degang Guo crosstalk classic quotations This is Xi Zhengmeng.

I don't have quotations, but I know a few classics, hehe.

Oh, my God! Too * * *! -Go back to the battlefield.-Jing Li, drive.

If I said I was waiting for the bus, would you believe it? -a short return (I forget the specific name, that is, the time when Li Jing helped Xu Deliang's wife to repair the wardrobe door).

Some were pulled flat three times, and some were fried together! Yu Qian: What about your fried cake? Hug each other. That's fritters! -About dreams

Police! Police! Police! Are you under great pressure?

These are the things that impressed me the most. Everything else is funny. I don't really remember them. I have many jokes about Degang Guo here. If necessary, leave me an email and I'll send you some.

Collect Degang Guo's classic quotations! 1, you are in good health. I can see at a glance that you must live to death.

His sword is cold, his knife is cold, his heart is cold, his blood is cold ... this grandson is frozen!

Go your own way and say who you want.

4, only between peers is naked hatred.

5, this head is the worst! /kloc killed his father at the age of 0/3, pushed his mother into the river at the age of 0/5, and died at the age of 0/7! After watching her for less than 5 minutes, tears came down-"Sister, I think this is a misunderstanding ..."

6. That's your father, I'm talking about your father!

7, I participate, you contribute, I am happy!

8. The world is cold and broad-minded, and everyone's business is my business, benefiting the people, solving worries for the society and helping you who are powerless and mentally retarded. (Vulnerable groups) take your business as my business and see that everyone is like my child.

9. After my counseling, I instigated how many people on the verge of suicide tried to kill people.

10, who doesn't know that Yu Qian has never eaten pork?

1 1. It takes a lot of effort to say cross talk. I am sweating here. You can't see people sweating, but people are sweating.

12, if you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

13, Kara is a dog, I wrote it, and I'm going to write another one: Yu Qian is a pig.

14, everyone went out to buy tickets and asked, "Is there a Titanic?" Yu Qian said, "Mr. Huo is dead."

15, thousands of books, a three-foot Longquan, was born in the world. What do I think? I can't serve my country and the world. Whose husband am I? Yu Qian: "What is this word?" Degang Guo: "Tang poetry." Yu Qian: "Why are you still looking for a wife in Tang poetry?"

16, invite the director to dinner. The director said that eating Lanzhou food is simple: "Lanzhou food?" Degang Guo: "If you want wide strips, you have to add meat."

17, diligent, I just spend other people's coffee time on beer.

19, I am 400 minutes away from going to Peking University.

2 1, Forever-Formalin, this bottle is all yours.

22. Mr. Guo, you respect yourself. We only sell ourselves, not artists.

It is not enough for you to have friends from afar.

24, the three-meter springboard, Guo Jingjing named her Wu.

25, roll back for three and a half weeks, more than a month.

26. Everyone is familiar with marriage, which is an amateur activity loved by the broad masses of people.

27. There will be first, second and third prizes in the tower climbing competition, with 50,000 first prizes and 70,000 second prizes. .....

28. My watch is expensive. The original price is 350,000 yuan, and the discount is 420%.

29. I scolded him angrily: I'll get out of here. (anxious mouth is not neat)

3 1, many heroic images flashed before my eyes, including a great Simon official and Mr. Chen () who likes photography.

Classic Quotations of Degang Guo 20 10 Sealing Performance This is a classic of sealing performance (pure hand-beating).

1. I'm not that handsome, it's him. (referring to Yu Qian)

I didn't know until now that Malaysia is the southernmost tip of our country.

3. (Rangers say a lot of dirty words) Rangers are always like this.

He has been to Shaanxi, and there are tigers in Shaanxi, all of which are soaked in Chinese hamburger!

5. (Chengguan (Kong Yunlong) kicks off the stove) This story is false and based on facts, which is really worse than this!

6. ("Mainstream Crosstalk" finished) Ask the teacher to comment (Yu Qian: very, very good) You are sick! Yu Qian: Do you have any medicine? )

7. (Moderator: Wonderful programs, one after another) (Yu Qian: That's not necessarily true) Guo: You are talking about people. Watch others scold. Can't you hold on? Chengguan, wake up! (Yu Qian: One program after another is not necessarily wonderful) Guo: Isn't it wonderful and disgusting?

8. The speech of the Football Association is the most classic: I am a very professional football training expert and obtained the qualification certificate of senior pastry chef issued by the Ministry of Science and Technology.

There are more people in it, and there are muscles (chickens)

Under the correct leadership of the Football Association, it will not succeed in the future!

9. sheets outside, suspenders inside

10. Time announcer: We are about to bid farewell to the Year of the Ox and usher in the Year of the Tiger.

1 1. (In the "advertisement", it was said that it was hiding secrets and releasing oil) Degang Guo: This matter has passed.

12。 (The fat man in the "advertisement" went to pick up his wallet and came out with a thin propaganda to hide secrets and extract oil) Lao Guo (goes up and kicks) Don't stop me, I'll kill him.

13. Lao Guo: I have medicine (Yu Qian: Am I sick? ! )

Pure hands, I can see it myself, please give points.