"Why don't you marry Phoenix Man?" Why is the experience of a 35-year-old divorced woman realistic?

In marriage, both men and women hope that the other half can put themselves first, get rid of the family, and concentrate on forming a small family after marriage.

Of course, it is not that the other half is completely separated from the family, but that lovers can put more thoughts into each other's small families.

There is no way for each of us to be completely separated from our family. Filial piety is true, and supporting parents is also the obligation of children, but all this should be based on "rationality and harmony".

Phoenix man is the opposite. They put all their energy and financial resources on their place of origin, hoping that their wives will forget her place of origin, and they will only look at their in-laws all their lives, so they will not complain if they serve them wholeheartedly.

However, is this fair to women?

People often say: "Marry a man but not a phoenix man", which is really not alarmist. Only those who have experienced it can understand the bitterness and astringency of marrying Phoenix Man.

Li Xuewei is 35 years old. Just because I married Phoenix Man, I suffered a lot in my life. Finally, she had to divorce to end the marriage. She said, "Phoenix Man really can't marry."

Chapter 02

Li Xuewei's ex-husband Chen Fan is a real Phoenix man. He comes from a small village with very closed traffic. Only the road leading to the market is cement road, and the others are muddy paths when it rains.

Chen Fan's father does odd jobs on construction sites in the city. Every time he goes home, he will bring a small gift to Chen Fan and give him a vivid picture of the city.

Father's description made Fan Chen yearn for city life, so he studied hard all the time and was the first person to walk into a big city from this mountain.

Fan Chen always knew what he wanted. After work, when his colleagues introduced him to Li Xuewei, he decided to marry this woman who owns a supermarket in a big city.

Li Xuewei used to despise Chen Fan's "old hat". Although he already looks like a city resident, he is still poor in many small details and living habits.

However, Chen Fan did not give up because of Li Xuewei's refusal. He is more depressed and brave. He insisted on sending flowers to Li Xuewei and delivering his own lunch. Fan Chen is never absent from WeChat greetings every day. As long as there is a party in Li Xuewei, Chen Fan will appear.

Gradually, Li Xuewei was moved by Fan Chen's sincerity, or impressed by Fan Chen's impeccable cooking, and sometimes even took the initiative to care about Fan Chen.

Chen Fan followed him, and Li Xuewei did whatever he wanted. If not, he followed the online learning, and finally got the beauty back and stayed with Li Xuewei.

The relationship lasted for five years. During this period, Chen Fan listened to Li Xuewei, remembered clearly Li Xuewei's hobbies and dislikes, and even remembered Li Xuewei's physiological period more accurately than her.

Chen Fan's gentleness and thoughtfulness, as well as his self-motivated career, not only won the favor of Li Xuewei, but also made Li Xuewei's parents praise him, saying that he had some verve of coming to the city to work hard when they were young.

So, they got married naturally, and Chen Fan lived in the wedding room that her parents-in-law bought for Li Xuewei.

At first, he thought about everything for Li Xuewei as if he were in love, which made Li Xuewei feel very happy. He often goes home and praises Chen Fan in front of his parents.

Later, Li Xuewei got pregnant, because it was half a city away from her parents-in-law, and it took them a lot of time to come to the couple's house, so Chen Fan took her parents-in-law to their house on the grounds that their parents would take care of Li Xuewei.

Chapter 03

In fact, it is said that she came to take care of Li Xuewei, but in fact it was Li Xuewei who took care of them. My mother-in-law asked Li Xuewei to cook for them on the pretext that she couldn't use natural gas all day.

Li Xuewei wanted to teach her in-laws, but her mother-in-law refused to study on the pretext that she was stupid. Li Xuewei is an elderly woman who needs more rest, but the arrival of her in-laws has added trouble to her.

In this regard, Chen Fan's explanation is that parents are not used to city life, so let her spend more time with me, and it will be fine after a while.

But after my in-laws came to their home, I didn't see where they didn't adapt. After lunch, I took off my shoes and fell on the sofa. My father-in-law will smoke and spit in the living room.

Every time Li Xuewei sees this scene, she feels sick. Chen Fan took the initiative to clean up the mess for fear of hurting the baby in her belly. In-laws could not bear their son's fatigue, and gradually changed this habit, which gave Li Xuewei hope for this marriage.

Actually, Fan Chen's family hasn't changed at all. This is just their plan to slow down the war. When the baby is born, Chen Fan will be different.

His bidding for so many years is also a kind of false performance, so that Li Xuewei can marry him with peace of mind. He thinks that Li Xuewei is in his thirties, and no matter how rich and beautiful his family is, he can't find a good divorce partner, so Chen Fan let his parents go. He originally wanted his parents to come to the city to enjoy it, which ignored Li Xuewei's idea.

My in-laws are not polite at all. They promoted their son's ability to have a house in a big city, and many relatives came to accompany them to see a doctor and find a job.

When there are many people, Li Xuewei and her children can't even sleep on the sofa, so they have to go out and stay in a hotel.

Even some relatives not only lived here for a long time, but also used things from Li Xuewei, and some even borrowed money. My in-laws never refuse, saying, "If I refuse, will my son still have face?"

Li Xuewei and Fan Chen discussed many times without results, and Fan Chen changed his mouth every time: "You can't bear to divorce."

He thinks he is convinced that Li Xuewei is 35 years old and dare not divorce. In fact, Li Xuewei has always been patient because he loves him.

Finally, when a relative borrowed a child to study at her home and refused to leave, Li Xuewei finally couldn't help it. He put the room in the living room and said, "Let me go, including Fan Chen. I don't welcome people who live here for free. "

It was not until the divorce that Chen Fancai woke up. He suddenly reflected that he had gone too far, prayed and threatened, and he didn't save Li Xuewei's heart.

Chapter 04

As it turns out, Phoenix Man really can't get married. In their eyes, parents always occupy the most important position in their hearts.

Phoenix man's love is just a way to get convenience. He may be nice to you, but once his parents' interests are touched, the Phoenix Man will expose his true thoughts of ignoring the other half in order to come from a family.

When husband and wife are together, they should support each other, advance and retreat together, and attach importance to each other's feelings. This marriage is fascinating.

Therefore, a woman must keep her eyes open before getting married, and don't ignore a man's family background just because he behaves well.

You know, when men are courting, they always hide the worst side of their personality and exaggerate their advantages.

Even when a man is in love, he will not show a bad side, but don't take it lightly. The influence of family background is engraved in his bones, and even if he can hide it for a while, it will be shown in the details.

Don't be stupid enough to be blinded by love. Marriage is a life-long event, and we can't be careless. If you marry the wrong person, the injury and pain may last a lifetime and it is difficult to smooth it out.