Should managers be friends with subordinates?

Should managers be friends with subordinates?

Introduction: A person responsible for market research in a company may lead many people, so he is a manager in the traditional sense. . But in terms of the functions he holds and the contributions he makes, it makes no difference whether he leads more or less people, or none at all.

Distance is a double-edged sword, which intimidatees subordinates and inadvertently alienates the relationship with them

Host: Zhan Liyan Wang Sword Organization : Zhan Liyan Photography: Liu Boliang

Guests: Fang Meizhu, general manager of DuPont China East and South China; Wang Jian, manager of the human resources department of Great Wall International Information Products (Shenzhen) Co., Ltd.; Yang Ailin, director of the EMBA Education Center of Sun Yat-sen University School of Management; Ye Yan Executive Director of Guangzhou Ziyuan Enterprise Management Consulting Company; Qiuyun China's top ten female news figures;

Time: April 7, 2005, 14:00-17:00; Location: City Valley Club Title Picture: Yang Aileen: Female bosses in the East are easier to get in touch with; Fang Meizhu: Being too close to certain subordinates will cause teamwork to become dysfunctional; Wang Jian: Helping each other outside of work allows everyone to gain trust; Ye Yan: Heart-to-heart communication is the key They will let each other understand each other; Qiuyun: There is no word "subordinate" in my dictionary.

A beautiful spring day, a beautiful urban valley club.

Five outstanding female managers shared their successes and failures in team management with more than 60 audiences in the shadow of trees with dappled sunshine. As managers, they can only maintain a certain distance from their subordinates because of the roles conferred by their positions and powers. However, distance is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it provides a deterrent to subordinates and ensures the fulfillment of power; but at the same time, for female leaders with delicate emotions and rich needs, it also inadvertently alienates the relationship with their subordinates. How to get along with your subordinates so that you can not only satisfy your own emotional needs, but also maximize the team's performance?

Yang Aileen: The West is your boss, the East is your friend

In 1990, I went to He studied in the United States and worked in sales and marketing for a Fortune 500 company in New York after graduation. He returned to China in 2000. From my career and management experience, the differences between Eastern and Western cultures also make workplace relationships very different. In American companies, especially among the Fortune 500 companies, there are very few female managers, and there are even fewer female managers who can reach senior levels, so they generally do not and do not need to confide in their subordinates, who are their subordinates. But in the East, especially in China, we attach great importance to feelings and communication, so I have to take the initiative to understand my subordinates, maintain regular communication with them, and strive to become their friend.

In foreign countries, I once made such a mistake: because I was very optimistic about a subordinate I recruited, I consciously trained him, and I would spare no effort to help him if he had any problems. Because I stayed too close to him, other subordinates were very dissatisfied. Later, it gradually evolved into delaying the tasks assigned by me, and eventually pushed the employee I was optimistic about out of the company. This made me realize that in purely Western management, there cannot be emotional factors that the East focuses on, otherwise it will be counterproductive. So later on, I gave my subordinates a very free space to complete their work independently without spending a lot of time interacting with them. After get off work, everyone would say goodbye. Because this is the rule of Western management.

But in China, managers really need to spend a lot of time getting to know their employees. My subordinates are all in their 20s and need someone to guide them, and as a leader, I have the obligation and responsibility to play such a role. I make it a rule to maintain formal communication with them at least once every month and every quarter. After get off work, I often organize some team activities, allowing everyone to communicate with each other in the process. Therefore, they have become accustomed to coming to me when they have problems, because female bosses in the East are easier to contact and make subordinates think that they will be more easily understood and supported.

Fang Meizhu: Let your subordinates get to know you

In the process of managing a team, a very important point is to treat your subordinates equally. There is an old saying in China, "It takes time to see people's hearts." The judgment of your subordinates is obtained from long-term contact with you and is reflected in the behavior of female managers. Therefore, female managers must adhere to principles when doing things and make subordinates feel that you are fair and equitable. Otherwise, being too close to some subordinates and alienating others will lead to dysfunctional teamwork.

As a regional leader, I think it is very necessary to maintain a certain distance from subordinates. Being too close to your subordinates will inevitably affect your authority as a leader. But when subordinates have difficulties, whether in career or life, as a leader, it is necessary to care about them, listen to their feelings, and help them solve problems, so that they can think of you when they encounter difficulties.

Every day, apart from meetings, my job is basically talking to people. Generally speaking, I maintain different mindsets based on different categories of conversations.

Whenever I have lunch, I will find some employees in the company canteen with whom I usually have less communication, sit next to them, and chat with them while eating. Before the meeting officially starts, I will have a casual chat with my department manager or other employees. This will prevent them from feeling that you are aloof and unapproachable. During this kind of conversation, I will position myself as the employee's friend and elder. But in formal conversations at work, you must put yourself in the role of a leader, based on the company's interests and rules and regulations.

Therefore, as a manager, you must first maintain a stable mentality, pay attention to the change of roles, and do not give employees the feeling of being superior. The so-called high place is too cold, which will inevitably make your subordinates stay away from you, thus making you full of disappointment. and loneliness.

Wang Jian: Management requires skills

Before I became a manager, I once had a colleague. She was a very good friend of mine. We often ate and went shopping together. But then I became her leader, and our previous friendship began to change. Once, when I was recruiting an employee for a management position, I chose someone else based on ability and experience. This made her feel very hurt, as if the expectation of mutual help between friends was completely frustrated. From then on, we evolved from friends to a purely superior-subordinate relationship. However, this experience did not affect my management style as a manager: to get closer to employees and to be their friends.

There are many women in my department. Often, places with many women have to spend more time and energy on management. I often maintain communication with them after get off work. I often save the department’s activity funds frugally, and use my breaks to organize team trips together. After breaking away from this kind of working environment, we travel together and fly together. Because we often help each other, the distance between me and them, as well as between my subordinates, has become closer invisibly. In fact, there will inevitably be some conflicts at work, but helping each other outside of work allows everyone to gain mutual trust in places far away from work. This is very useful for the team. In last year's team performance evaluation, our department ranked first in the company!

In fact, management also requires skills. As a female manager, the biggest characteristic is that she is delicate and can feel with her heart. staff. At the beginning of this year, I gave each employee in the department a book? "The Most Charming Women in the World" by Carnegie, and wrote a few blessings or comments on the cover of each employee's characteristics, which played a big role. Good results.

Ye Yan: Open your heart outside of work

Maintaining a moderate distance is the common need of bosses and subordinates. The appropriateness of this distance depends on each person’s behavioral style and management mode. But what I pay more attention to is opening up our hearts with my subordinates outside of work. Only through this kind of heart-to-heart communication can we truly understand each other.

At the beginning of this year, the company carried out the 2011 annual performance appraisal and salary reform. According to the salary system requirements formulated by the company, the salary of each department manager will be redefined, and performance will become the main determining factor. However, one of the core department managers expressed that he did not understand and did not accept this reform. In order to find out the reason and save him, I invited him to dinner. In a relatively relaxed atmosphere, we had an in-depth communication with him. It turns out that he is the only breadwinner of the family. His mother has been suffering from heart disease and needs a large amount of medical expenses every month. Therefore, he cannot accept that his salary is floating? His frankness and situation made me decide Communicate with the relevant management of the company and develop other solutions for this core employee without changing the salary system. As a result, he not only accepted the company's salary system, but his performance was also greatly improved.

This kind of heart-to-heart communication allowed me to retain an important employee, and now we have become very good friends. Therefore, female managers can open their hearts to their subordinates, become their subordinates’ friends at the right time, love them in every detail, care about them, let their subordinates trust them and share and confide their deep-seated thoughts with you. Stimulate the enthusiasm of employees and make them work more attentively.

Qiuyun: Suffering is a blessing

In my dictionary, there is no such thing as subordinates, they are my working partners. I'm not eager to be their friend because we are already friends. Facing my work partners, let them see the hope of the company and see that their boss is a person with vitality and a future, and they will maintain a positive attitude.

If my work partner encounters a problem, as long as he is willing to talk to me, I will put myself in his shoes and solve the problem for him. There was once an employee who just came to work in Shenzhen from Wuhan. Her sister had a brain tumor and her family was in financial difficulty. Her initial monthly salary was only 1,000 yuan, plus bonuses. But her sister's surgery cost tens of thousands of yuan. Although I had just arrived in Shenzhen and was facing financial difficulties, I still spent 35,000 yuan to perform surgery on her sister. However, this put a lot of pressure on me. Later, she left the company for some reason, which meant that all my training and efforts in her were in vain. It wasn't until half a year later, when I needed someone the most, that she suddenly came back because she thought other bosses wouldn't treat her like this.

I have always believed that when the needs of employees conflict with the needs of the company, managers should not just focus on the interests in hand, but should take a long-term perspective. In fact, employees are the company's greatest wealth.

So I would rather meet the needs of my employees and let my company suffer some losses. As the saying goes, "Suffering is a blessing?" ;