A humorous story with loose lips.

When Su Dongpo was in college, Buddhism was very good. He has a good friend named Fo Yin, a Taoist, and Su Dongpo's sister named Su Xiaomei. This interesting little girl is often mentioned in unofficial history's anecdotes. One day, Dongpo wanted to play a trick on Fo Yin again, so he asked Fo Yin, "What do I look like to you?" ? Fo Yin said: Buddha. Su Dongpo: Do you know what I look like in the eyes of a big monk? Fo Yin shook his head and said, I don't know! Su Dongpo said: I think the big monk is like a pile of shit! Ha ha! Fo Yin said with a smile, I think Mr. Wang is still like a Buddha. After returning home, Su Dongpo proudly told Su Xiaomei about it. Su Xiaomei smiled: Do you think you won? Actually, you lost Su Dongpo: Why? Su Xiaomei: Fo Yin has a Buddha in his heart, so everything in the world is a Buddha. You have shit in your heart, so everything is shit. Reporter: President Bush, how many Iraqis have you killed? Bush: I killed 3 million Iraqis and a photographer. Reporter: Photographer? Why kill the photographer? Bush: As I said, no one cares about 3 million Iraqis. It's quite a short time ... A father is teaching a swearing child: "How dare you fucking swear! ! ! . "If The Complete Works of Zhou Xingxing Picking Up Girls doesn't tease you, you can call it ○ (* *) ○ Sen tacitly 3 14345040 Bus stop Zhou Xingxing:" Miss, you stepped on my foot "Pretty girl:" No, I'm far away from you "Zhou Xingxing. Miss has a good eye. I do have a history of neurology. I usually have seizures when I see beautiful girls. Pretty girl: You men always deliberately say something boring to attract girls, as if you think you are handsome. Zhou Xingxing: Miss, you are wrong. I never feel handsome, but I am handsome. Pretty girl: Don't be so disgusting. Okay, I'm gonna throw up. Zhou Xingxing: I can ask you before you throw up. Pretty girl: "Let it go" Zhou Xingxing: "Why do you deny my handsomeness with your conscience?" Pretty girl: "Get out …" "On the bus" Pretty girl: "Why are you here again?" Zhou Xingxing: "Sometimes I am everywhere." Pretty girl: "Do you know you are annoying? You don't sit in so many places, but you have to sit next to me? " Zhou Xingxing: "Miss, you know, I'm just sitting in an empty seat with only you next to me, that's all." Pretty girl: "There is an empty seat in front. Why don't you go? " Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, I see. So do you want to see me, or do you want me to see you? " Pretty girl: "Get out ..." "Get off" Pretty girl: "Why did you get off again?" Zhou Xingxing: "It's not because of you! I like hanging out. "Pretty girl:" I accuse you of sexual harassment. Which unit are you from? " Zhou Xingxing: "You mean gold, or Joule, Newton?" Pretty girl: "Do I know you very well? Always say such nonsense, sorry, I don't catch a cold! " Zhou Xingxing: "Yes, we don't know each other at all. We are like two green strawberries on the same branch, a sour and beautiful girl: "Do you think you are humorous after watching some Chinese Odyssey and learning a few words about Tang Priest?" Zhou Xingxing: "Humor is innate. You should blame my mother. Oh, and my father ... "Pretty girl: Nerve" Zhou Xingxing: Your mother's nerve "Pretty girl: Your mother's nerve" Zhou Xingxing: "Look at you, you are obviously your mother, but you insist that you are my mother ..." Pretty girl: "Get out ..." I'll kick your ass! " Zhou Xingxing: "If you dare, I will scream." Pretty girl: "What's your name?" Zhou Xingxing: "indecent assault" pretty girl: "Do you think anyone will pay attention to you?" Zhou Xingxing: "It doesn't matter if I don't. I will come back and be indecent. " Pretty chick: "God, you are such a scoundrel. You are really blind! " Zhou Xingxing: "Well, yes, otherwise there would be no so-called elite in this world." Pretty girl: "..." KFC "Pretty girl:" Don't talk, I get bored when you talk. Zhou Xingxing: "I haven't said it yet. Can you explain it?" Pretty girl: I told you to stop. You talk like a fly. That's disgusting. Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, so this sentence can play such a big role." . It was really shocking. I can be a * * *? "Pretty girl:" Do what? Zhou Xingxing: "Go to the hospital to help people pump their stomachs." Pretty chick: "You're hopeless. Go back and deal with the funeral as soon as possible. Zhou Xingxing: "I don't want anything before I die." . I just want to say a few words to you, but I'm afraid you won't agree. Do you agree? "Pretty girl:" Go ahead, reasonable requirements can be considered. Zhou Xingxing: "Will you treat me to this KFC?" "Pretty girl:" Go to hell ... "Pretty girl from Kentucky:" Don't you have a girlfriend? Wandering alone on Sunday? Zhou Xingxing: "To be exact, I don't have a girlfriend, but I have a female friend." . Why do you ask? "Pretty girl:" Nothing, I care about your lifelong events, don't I? Zhou Xingxing: Well, why not? You look like someone I love deeply. Pretty girl: Who? Zhou Xingxing: "My mother, she always likes to ask questions. "Pretty girl:" If there are not so many people watching in the street, I will really hit you. " Zhou Xingxing: "I'm not afraid of others seeing you hit me. What are you afraid of? "What about you, don't you stay with your boyfriend?" Pretty girl: "Never mind" Zhou Xingxing: "Oh, I see, I was abandoned by my boyfriend, and I want to find a psychological balance." Pretty girl: "Dogs don't spit ivory, so to be clear, I don't want to look for it." Zhou Xingxing: "Think of me, I will suffer." Pretty girl: "Please stop disgusting me." Zhou Xingxing: "I can be your extra unconditionally. Pretty girl: "Then say it, and don't bother me to scold you. Zhou Xingxing: "OK, then send a message to scold me." . "beautiful chicken" ... "go home separately." Pretty chick: "Strange, I really want to send a message to scold him." Zhou Xingxing: "Hehe, it's strange that she didn't send a message to scold me." Pretty chick: "That's it, don't I really like it?"