Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Photography and portraiture - How to deal with the relationship with children when you are old?
How to deal with the relationship with children when you are old?
Two: It's best to live with your wife. If your grandchildren need to be taken care of and live with your children, you should also have certain rules to keep in harmony with your children and daughter-in-law.
Three: Everyone has the feeling of protecting calves. However, in the event of disputes between young couples, we should handle them calmly, be strict with our own children, and pay more attention to other people's children. This is the true love for children. Because only the young couple live in harmony can the children's families be happy and warm.
Four: The old couple should be calm and steady, and try not to quarrel in front of their children, daughter-in-law or daughter-in-law, because it will embarrass the younger generation and make them feel at a loss. Wives should respect each other, love each other, support each other and stay together until they are old.
Five: Take care of grandchildren, adhere to the principle of "one generation is the master", and never compete for the educational rights of grandchildren. I believe that children and women will take good care of their next generation.
Believe in children's ability, cultivate children's independent spirit, and less interfere with children's housework.
Seven: Insist on exercise, ensure good health, handle all kinds of relationships, and try not to cause trouble to children.
One word: play dumb. Don't! At this time, four words.
Playing dumb is my personal experience. Actually, I'm not that old. I am 63 years old this year. I am a daughter (model of family planning). I am an idol and don't care about her relationship. The point is that my son-in-law and I have a very good relationship.
In fact, my son-in-law and I have a bad emotional foundation. I helped him take a bath when he fell in love with his daughter. Now they have been married for twelve years. There has never been any conflict between us and the children.
As old people, we should not interfere in the lives of our children. If you can run and jump, try to stay away from your child's life. This distance does not refer to the distance between people, but to their own life, career and social activities. Don't interfere, don't ask, don't know, can't hear, can't see is the best state.
As an old man, we should take the initiative to help children solve problems. Take care of the children. When they gave birth to their first child, the old couple had not retired. I run the factory and help them take care of their children for nine months. When they had Bauer, we all retired. My wife took care of the children at his house until she was weaned. From weaning to kindergarten, Bauer basically lived in my house. We will take an active part in helping two children celebrate their birthdays, go to school, get sick, take exams, and other important events. I have a deep relationship with my grandchildren, and my relationship with my children will not be bad.
As an old man, don't make irresponsible remarks about children, remember! This is a no-no, children have grown up, they have their own ideas, opinions, interests and hobbies. We have a time difference with them. Don't always point out their things. This is the most annoying thing. Besides, they may not always listen to you. Why bother? Their lifestyle now is quite different from ours. Looking at new problems with an old eye is bound to make mistakes. For them, we are firefighters, and the critical moment will come. When their asses catch fire, we splash water, and when they fall into the ditch, we give them a hand. They fell into the water, so we threw a life buoy. We are doing the work of saving lives. Can they not be grateful?
When my son-in-law and I were stone friends, we both played with Hetian jade seeds. We are still fishing friends, and we all like fishing. He is a director of a China Photography Association in Hong Kong, and I am a member. We all play with cameras. We are still comrades in arms (peace elite), so we must form a team when we go online. I'm tricking him into buying a motorcycle, and I want to develop him into my motorcycle friend again (I've been playing motorcycles for a long time). Can such a relationship have no feelings? Hey hey hey.
Conclusion: In children's life, career and social activities, we should be invisible and inaudible, which is called playing dumb. At the critical moment, we should help the children. I want to rescue the children in an emergency. We are children's playmates in their spare time.
Results: Our home is about 100 kilometers away from the children's home. We went to their house ten times before and were cheated at least four times. And 100% will be detained, and they can find 100 reasons why you can't go back to your home as planned. After a long time, their deception didn't work. The son-in-law spent more than one million yuan to buy us a house near his home, which was well decorated. The house is empty. Can you stay? Great, 1 1 holiday, 6 times fishing in 8 days. Grandchildren come to me when they are free. I am very tired, hard and happy every day.
This is how I keep in touch with my children as a father and friend. I handle my feelings well. Carefree, happy every day, feeling very happy, not to mention that this state may be able to live for a few more years!
At present, it is best to have money in society, and Li Ka-shing's children are precious. Without money, it is difficult to deal with. Old people shouldn't live together. After a long time, there will be contradictions. How to deal with the relationship with children, talk less and do more, pay less attention to children's affairs, save more money, manage yourself and go your own way. Without living together, there will be no contradiction. We can certainly handle the relationship with our children!
First, know yourself and know yourself. To put it more seriously, we old people should know what we are and what our children are. There is a generation gap between the two generations, with differences in temperament and personality, and differences in life value orientation. If we are well aware of the generation gap and differences, when we have conflicts with our children on some issues in our daily life, the focus of the debate is on opinions, not right or wrong. The conflict between time is easy to intensify contradictions, and the conflict of views is relatively mild. Talk about things without arguing, be considerate, and many things will pass without arguing.
Second, we should be kind and respectful. When the elderly get along with their children, they should not only bring the dignity of their elders, but also show their parents' love. Children should try their best to help when they are in business, and dare to show the prestige of the head of the family when they are not in business, and resolutely do not help.
Third, we should lift weights as easily as possible. We old people, who have come all the way from the ups and downs of life and entered the depths of old age, should try our best to be calm and comfortable when they encounter serious illness, and should not keep pulling a long face and add psychological pressure to their children.
Fourth, relax. If we old people live with married children, we must attach great importance to some daily chores, such as my father-in-law not going shirtless in summer, not joking with his daughter-in-law, knocking at the door when going to the bathroom and so on.
Fifth, we should leave room. If there is a conflict between the old man and his children, don't say too much, for example, I will never come to your house again, I will never give you a penny, I will never take care of your children, and I don't need your care anymore. Don't persuade children to divorce too much, don't speak ill of son-in-law in front of their daughters, and don't speak ill of daughter-in-law in front of their sons. Why? Easier said than taken back. Children have children's difficulties, and the elderly should try not to interfere in the internal affairs of their children's small families, let alone be impulsive, adding fuel to the fire by talking too much. Mountains don't turn to water, roads don't turn to people, and the only constant in this world is change. One day, the peak turns to the willow bank, and I regret not leaving myself a back road.
Sixth, we should observe words and deeds. As the saying goes: listen to the sound of gongs and drums. Living in harmony between two generations is a technical job. Now, children have many problems. Those old people who live in their children's homes must be sensible, pay attention to small things and details, and don't give their sons or daughters any trouble.
Seventh. Be generous. Nowadays, children are under great pressure, sometimes tired and anxious, and in a bad mood. Parents should not care about their children's difficulties. After all, the family is not the workplace, and it is safest to contradict your parents. Let the children vent!
Eighth, watch your mouth and your legs. Now some children are lazy and sensitive. We old people talk less and nag less and do more housework. Children are brought into this world by us. Obedient, take the right path, you can earn money, you can be a grandfather.
Ninth, we should clearly define property. A family can talk about two things, but brothers must settle accounts clearly. For children who have become independent families, the money used by the elderly for shallots and tofu must be clear. Yours and mine are mine. Where should I use it? Or how much to give you, that's my business. Children are not qualified to control their parents' power to control their own money. When you are old, dealing with children is a two-way thing, not wishful thinking. If you want happiness, both sides should cherish it, work hard and be reasonable.
1. Cover your wallet tightly. Parents' children can be taken away at any time under various excuses, and sometimes it is difficult to hand over their money even if they want to save their lives.
2. Guard your old house. Parents' children can come back to live at any time, and it is difficult for parents to live in.
3. Shut up. Don't listen to children's life and work, don't watch, as long as it's not an emergency, don't watch, mind your own business and suffer a lot.
Fourth, raise your body plate. Exercise more if you have nothing to do, pay attention to nutrition, and go to the hospital in time if you are sick. Nowadays, young people are busy, and when they are old and in poor health, they always find trouble with their children.
5. Be kind to your wife and children. When you are old, only your partner Simba Bagan will accompany you and wait on you. So we must cherish and love each other. In case one party changes jobs first, it is suggested to find another trustworthy person to accompany him. Only my wife has no regrets when serving tea and washing urine.
6. Do your best to help the children. If you are in good health, try to help your child pick up or accompany you and share your child's troubles and problems.
Seven. Solve the problem at the right time. If children have difficulties in life for various reasons, parents can't stand by and do their best to help, and don't avoid borrowing money everywhere because of their difficulties.
Personally, the relationship between parents and children is blood relationship. So there is a natural emotional closeness, which is naturally the most intimate relationship in family relations.
But after all, they are two generations, and there are inevitably various differences in their understanding of things, cultural literacy, living habits, hobbies, and ways of dealing with people, which is often called the "generation gap." Dealing with relationships requires the joint efforts of two generations. As an elder, you should set an example and be yourself.
1. Keep loving your children. Although the child has grown up and got married, the parents' love for the child is not the kind of care they had when they were children. Usually, it is necessary to "have a heart" and let them experience the hardships of being parents. At the same time, love is the key, especially when girls and children are in financial difficulties. If their conditions permit, they should do their best and help them enthusiastically.
This kind of help is voluntary, happy and free, otherwise, things will not go well;
2. Give children more understanding. Due to the differences in understanding between the two generations, it is inevitable that some contradictions will arise in daily life. Parents should not be complacent, be less "picky" and be more understanding;
3. Give your children the necessary respect. Change the style of centralization in the past and take a back seat in due course. In daily speech, we should show goodwill and kindness; In doing things, we should embody equality and democracy; When encountering contradictions and conflicts, be generous and open-minded; The principle involving children should reflect consultation and respect;
4. Give children full trust. After the child gets married, we should give the child the greatest trust, grasp all the degrees, don't interfere with the child's family affairs too much, and let go boldly. We can't do everything as in the past, and we can't ignore it; You can't sell your old age with your old age, nor can you ask too much of your children's filial piety.
5. Less trouble for children. The biggest problem caused by the elderly to their children:
One is sick. Because of the decline of physiological function of the elderly, the law of life must conform to the reality of the elderly, but the law of life of the elderly is contradictory to that of the young. In order to satisfy both parties, live separately from the children when they can take care of themselves; Pay attention to fitness at ordinary times and try to get sick less.
Second, the way of doing things is improper. Some mother-in-law intends to treat their daughter-in-law as a daughter, but they don't pay attention to ways and means and can't control their mouths. Leading to tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the son is in a dilemma. Parents have something to say, try to discuss it with their sons or daughters and let them discuss it with their daughters-in-law.
In short, when parents are old, there is no fixed formula for treating their children. Parents should keep a normal heart and be themselves first.
A hole in the eye.
The care of the older generation for the younger generation is selfless and makes every effort, especially for China people. ...
The children are married, and their parents have helped them get on the horse. How can the horse run? This is all about children. Don't interfere and tell others what to do. If this goes on, there will be contradictions. In short, there is nothing wrong with leaving some space and keeping your distance. Affection remains the same, courtesy remains the same, responsibility remains the same, wait and see more.
How to deal with the relationship with children when you are old? The structure of each family member is different, and so are their knowledge structure, educational background and personal accomplishment. Dealing with the relationship with children is also to find a way to deal with the relationship with children in combination with family reality. I just read the answers to several questions. Some people say that when you are old, the only safety is to watch your money belt and guard the old house, so as not to let your children put their money in their pockets.
This has happened before, and it has also happened to some elderly people. An example of this situation occurs in a certain proportion of families with many children, and it is unfair and eccentric to parents in treating children. Children who have been treated unfairly, the grievances accumulated over the years, shirk each other step by step when their parents are old, and turn over old accounts from time to time to hurt the elderly. Their purpose is also to blackmail the old people into asking for debts and take the opportunity to ask for money online. Therefore, for the elderly in this situation, it is really necessary to be optimistic about the housekeeping money.
As far as the elderly in society are concerned, most of them are only children and have experienced similar things. For a child, it can be said that they have never suffered. Although their conditions were not very good when they were young, they fell in love with them and tried their best.
Then I went to school along the way, got married and had children, and the family never shared money with each other. There is almost no concept of dividing money at home. Parents can also say that they have devoted their lives to their children. When they are old, they will work with their children to prevent money. Some elderly people may not be able to do it.
As for the relationship with children, when people are old, leave them alone. If they are willing to tell you, you will be happy to listen, smile after listening and keep silent. You have different opinions, but you should also put up with your young behavior, criticize and criticize something. They don't like listening. When they get old, they should adjust their mentality. They are always gossiping and pointing fingers at their children. They will refuse, and they won't tell you that things outside are not nice in the future.
It's not enough just to do this, but also to listen to the children. If you are asked to see a doctor and have a physical examination, you have to go, and you must obey wherever you go. To put it bluntly, when I was a child, my parents looked after me and told them to be safe and obedient. Since their children are guardians of the elderly, of course they should take care of you.
Being less sick, being healthy and not causing trouble to children is the best relationship with children. (network picture)
I think we should pay attention to the following points:
1, avoid sharing with children. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most complicated in the world. If possible, children must not live together after marriage. For example, they are different in schedule, food taste, living habits and many other aspects. In order to avoid mutual influence and conflict, living separately is the best policy.
Don't meddle in children's affairs. As the saying goes, children have their own happiness. When they grow up, they have their own way of understanding and dealing with problems. They'd better deal with the children themselves. As an old man, they should stay out of it and live their old age well. Even if you get involved in some problems, it will not help solve them, but will add more trouble unless they ask you for help. In addition, it is recommended to ask fewer questions.
When you are in trouble, lend a helping hand. In life, children have some difficulties that they can't solve. As parents, we should help them as much as possible, for example, children are temporarily unattended, and they are temporarily in financial difficulties. , but you must be within your power and you must not do whatever you want. There is no bottom line.
4. Give the child a bowl of water that is flat. As parents, it is very important to treat their children fairly. A bowl of water is flat, and friends are far and near. Many family conflicts are caused by parents' failure to properly handle the issue of property distribution, which affects the relationship between parents and children, resulting in estranged contradictions, and some even go to court because of unfair distribution of property inheritance, which hurts feelings too much.
5. Be careful with your wallet. Raising children for old age is out of date. It is very important to see that the elderly rely more on themselves in their later years. Therefore, we must leave enough pension funds for ourselves to avoid the bleak life in later years. Self-reliance is the last word. This is a fact. Please remember.
There is an old saying that "children are all guests when they grow up". You are old, your children have grown up, and some have become parents. Old people should also keep pace with the times, and their ideas about their children and ways of getting along with them should be changed to adapt to the new situation.
Specifically, when children grow up and have their own independent personality, the elderly can no longer treat them as they did when they were children. In fact, there is a kind of guest affection between the elderly and their children. This kind of hospitality means mutual understanding, mutual respect and mutual courtesy.
Old people can't take it for granted that their children should listen to me in everything, and it is unfilial not to listen. When children grow up, they have their own interests and opinions. Sometimes they don't accept their parents' demands, and they also have their own reasonable reasons and opinions. At this time, it is necessary to communicate with children more and listen carefully to their thoughts and demands. As long as their ideas are reasonable, they should understand and handle things well and never force themselves to obey.
Then there is the children's affairs, let them solve them by themselves, need help, and the elderly try their best. Never think of yourself as a child's lifelong nanny. Everything is for the children. In doing so, the old man thinks he has love, but in fact, his children simply can't receive this feeling. In the end, instead of working hard, they complained endlessly and even turned against each other. Such a lesson, the elderly must firmly remember!
In short, getting along with children in old age is essentially a new interpersonal relationship. If you want to handle it well, you must communicate with your children more, understand more, be less powerful, be more polite and be less selfish!
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