You want love and distance, three hairs for you!

Sanmao's memory is that I often extract words from her books when I was studying, and I think her love with Jose is so beautiful, although I didn't understand love at that time!

Later, I watched Lu Yu's interview and recorded program about Sanmao's life, which opened the door for me to know more about her.

Maybe we don't know what kind of story the love between Jose and Sanmao is at all, but after listening to a lot, we think: Oh, this is a good story, and love should be like this!

Or maybe we will think that San Mao's wandering life is the coolest and most free and easy life, and it is a distant place that we want but can't reach!

Sanmao's life has explained to us what is true love and distance. I think I will love her more than love and worship!

Because it's really tiring to be Sanmao!

The story is a bit long, but I want to tell you! Don't worry, sit down and listen to me slowly!

"She smiled and said to me,' Sister, you have lived in vain in your life!' "-sister Sophie said.

Three hairs in your eyes and mine.

Sanmao, formerly known as Chen Ping, is a famous female writer in Taiwan Province. Sanmao is her later pen name, and her masterpieces include How Many Flowers Fall in Dreams, The Rainy Season Never Comes, The Sahara Desert and so on!

Her life has been "wandering" around the world, living in a foreign country 14 years. Her 14 years of life and love are full of novelty, challenge, happiness and sadness!

San Mao in the student days

When we were young, we were all asked by our teachers, "What kind of person do you want to be in the future?"

San Mao said, "One day when I grow up, I want to be a garbage collector. The garbage dump in the eyes of scavengers is the most charming garden in the world! " "

I say this because Sanmao often picks up things with her sister, such as beautiful stones and different small items. She always has a way to make those seemingly insignificant things shine.

The teacher was very angry. Not only did he miss the blackboard eraser, but he also shouted, "If you want to pick up junk, get out now and don't have to study any more ..."

This makes San Mao, who has always been very sensitive, begin to cast a layer of fear of school.

Because I have always loved reading, Sanmao is good at Chinese and English, but poor in math, and often gets zero points.

Later, she found that every small test question given by the teacher was an exercise at the back of the textbook. In order not to repeat the grade, she chewed the later exercises repeatedly and finally got full marks.

But the math teacher not only insisted that she copied, but also humiliated her in front of all her classmates!

She wrote in the book: "This math teacher told me to stand at attention with a brush full of ink in front of all my classmates, standing in the chalk circle she drew underground, and said with a smile,' You love duck eggs, and the teacher gave you two big duck eggs! "

"On my face, she drew two big round cakes around my eyes with ink. Because there was too much ink, they flowed down my tightly closed eyes and into my mouth. All the students gave a great laugh ... "

Every exam is like a humiliation.

You said you would.

Others don't believe it.

I want you to prove it with a blank sheet of paper.

Sanmao felt that her strength was degraded and she was hurt, so she made a silent resistance by dropping out of school.

Her mind is so delicate and sensitive that she can't accept what others think is normal (corporal punishment was very common in those days), which also shows that Sanmao is destined to be a different person in this life!

San Mao in love

In the cultural school, Sanmao worships Liang Guangming, a talented scholar at the same school. Their relationship was not long, because Sanmao applied to study in Spain and forced Liang Guangming to make a commitment, which led to the breakup.

1967 After breaking up with her first love, Sanmao came to Shirley College in Madrid to study for two years.

After graduation, she didn't go back to Taiwan Province Province directly, but chose to wander in Europe.

Two years later, perhaps because she was too tired or homesick, Sanmao returned to Taiwan Province Province. I met a German man who was more than ten years older than her. They soon fell in love and planned to get married.

However, everything was unexpected. The fiance had a heart attack before marriage and died suddenly in Sanmao's arms.

San Mao can't accept this kind of pain. She took a lot of sleeping pills and was found by her family and sent to the hospital.

Lock my memory

Lock my sadness

No longer miss you, how can I miss you again?

Happiness is forbidden, after life and death.

I can't find the key to get in

Emotional pain is difficult to recover, but after waking up, Sanmao continues to choose to wander. Coming to Spain again, this time she met Jose.

"Winter is coming. At that time, I lived in a girl's dormitory run by a nun near the university town.

In that place, I have known a boy named jose maria, so I will change his name to Jose in Chinese.

At that time, I regarded him as an ordinary friend, but it never happened with Jose because he was so innocent.

Under the big tree in that dormitory, three or four times a week, the nun in our dormitory will say, "Hey, Echo, look outside, your cousin is coming!" " "

I went over and gave him a push. Why did you come again?

He took out 14 Spanish dollars from his trousers pocket and gave it to the competition tower. He said I had fourteen dollars. Oh, a movie ticket is seven dollars. Fourteen dollars is just enough for two people to go to the movies, but now I invite you to the movies, so we have to walk, because I have no other money.

I said it doesn't matter, then let's walk! So I didn't choose a movie, so I watched the first one.

One day in the park, he told me, Echo, you wait for me for six years, and I still have four years to go to college and two years to do military service. When these six years have passed, I will marry you. My lifelong wish is that as long as I have a small apartment, I will go out to make money every day and have you cook for me when I get home. This is the happiest thing in my life!

Now that you say so, let's stay away from each other and not see each other often. You'd better not come to my dormitory!

"You say so, I will keep my promise, I won't come to you! He looked at my face and ran back, holding a French hat he had never worn before, saying goodbye to Echo as he ran, saying goodbye to Echo! I'm going to cry, say goodbye to Echo with a smile! "

At that time, Jose was just a senior three student bigger than Sanmao small 8. His words are touching, but unrealistic. Sanmao turned him down.

In the next six years, they really have no news.

Something that is deliberately pursued.

Often can't find it.

Everything in the world comes and goes.

Everyone has time.

"Six years later, a friend of mine called me and gave me a fright. He said,' This is very important'. Echo come, come, come, come.

When he got to their house, he said, come in and close your eyes. I put my hands behind my back. After a while, I heard the door open, and I felt a pair of gentle arms around me behind me and began to rotate.

I saw that it was one of my tall children with a beard, Jose. I screamed with joy when he came back.

He took me upstairs to his house, opened the door and saw my enlarged black and white photos all over the wall. After a long time, the shutter took my photos one by one, all yellow!

When I saw the photo, I saw this person in front of me again, and I thought, who do I want in my life?

I didn't consider that he was younger than me, and he was older than me. This is not a problem between us, so I was very sensible and asked him:

Jose, six years ago, you said that your greatest wish in my life was to marry me! Do you think it will be too late if I tell you now that I want to marry you?

He said, God, it's not too late!

He shed tears of joy. It can be said that we got married without falling in love.

He is my first love in this life and my marriage in this life! "

Sanmao always wanted to live in the desert, and Jose went to the Sahara desert without hesitation, waiting for his wife to pass!

Every time I miss you, a grain of sand falls from the sky, forming the Sahara from now on!

They had the happiest time here.

Life in the desert is not romantic in our eyes. There is no water here. Jose works on another island and can only go home once a week.

Sanmao had to go a long way to fetch water by himself. She was already very weak, and her life was seriously overdrawn in those days.

However, Sanmao's eyes are different from what we see. She likes that kind of life, and even mentioned in the book that she doesn't want to leave this beautiful place!

Living in such a lonely, backward and poor place.

Grow sturdily as always.

It didn't struggle to survive.

For the inhabitants of the desert

They were born, sick and died here.

Everything seems so natural.

I looked at the rising fireworks.

I feel that their tranquility is almost elegant.

But as we all know, a love is called a much-told story because it must be incomplete!

Jose dived and left.

When San Mao went to see it, she held his hand tightly:

"Jose, with our experience, our cognition, will think that people will go to the underworld for a long time after death. Don't be afraid, be brave, I will hold your hand, just like you usually hold my hand. As long as you cross this road, you will see the light and God will come to meet you! I have a high school, so I can't go with you In a few years, I will go to the appointment. You must wait for me!

At that time, he had left us for two days, but when I finished this passage, his eyes began to bleed, so I asked my friend who studied medicine, didn't blood stop flowing after death? What the hell is going on here? He said he couldn't explain it to me! "

I have loved many men in my life! It was not until I met Jose that I was sure that in my heart, I was his only woman and he was my only man!

Writing here, I am a little choked up.

Jose is gone, and San Mao's heart is half dead!

If her parents had not been with her at that time, Sanmao would have gone with him! Qiong precious jade also accompanied her, constantly persuading, and she promised never to commit suicide.

Many nights, I was in bed with trouble sleeping.

Sitting in a house by the sea

I always hear the wind whimpering at night.

Through my window.

I was sitting there and suddenly realized.

I don't have a home. I'm lonely.

Every night, I sit there waiting for the dawn.

At that time, I always thought that such a day

I can't go on.

198 1 year, Sanmao ended her overseas life for 14 years and returned to Taiwan Province province.

1990, creating a world of mortals!

199 1 year 65438+1October 4th, Sanmao, who was hospitalized with symptoms of endometrial hyperplasia, was found hanging herself with silk stockings beside the hospital sink.

At that time, Sanmao was already suffering from severe depression, and it didn't work to see a psychologist every week.

In the eyes of his family, Sanmao's life is complete!

People don't know what they will experience in this life, but God knows that your life is here.

"My daughter always said that life is not the length, but whether you live happily. I think this statement is: Living is to grasp the meaning of life. At this point, although I am heartbroken by her burning, I agree. "

-San Mao's father Chen Siqing

Sanmao is gone, but what she left us will never be forgotten!

Love, if it is not implemented in the real life of dressing, eating, counting money and sleeping, will not last forever!

Life is just a superposition of 24 hours. In such a precious time, I must understand my choice!

One friend is good, two friends are more, and three friends are too many. Just have a bosom friend, not too many. If you really don't, you still have yourself. Be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself and be kind to your friends!

Chen Ping, as San Mao, you have suffered!