What is the scariest thing about PUA in the workplace?

Have you heard of PUA?

That is a kind of mental bullying.

It sounds mysterious, but in fact he is not far from us.

More than half a month ago, an employee of Bank of Ningbo jumped to say goodbye to the world because he could not withstand the pressure.

I have been working in the workplace for many years, risking hair loss and baldness every day while rushing to finish the manuscript. Even though I have made countless revisions, I have never thought about leaving this world. To reach the point of ending his life, he must have endured a lot besides work pressure.

I don’t think this is a simple incident of jumping off a building due to excessive pressure. There must be something behind it that deserves our serious consideration.

So, even though it has been almost a month since the incident, I still want to seriously discuss those things in the workplace with you.

This is about you, me, and everyone in the workplace.

01

In the month before his death, this employee still attributed all mistakes to his "incompetence" and had no doubts about the company and its leaders.

"What should I do if I just can't do this project?"

"But the leader promoted me to do this project, how could I not do it?"

" It’s a matter of my ability. I feel like I can’t do anything. My IQ is too low and my EQ is too low. It’s me.”

But is he really “incompetent”?

He is a top student studying at Xiamen University with a bachelor's and master's degree. After graduation, he directly entered Bank of Ningbo.

After serving for 5 years, he was trained as a candidate for vice president, and his future annual income may be hundreds of thousands.

His IQ is completely online, and his resume is not unimpressive, but he is trapped in self-doubt.

A person who left the Bank of Ningbo once said that she was forced to leave her job while she was breastfeeding because of too much work pressure. Before leaving, her boss said:

" After you leave your job, you will never find such a good job again.”

A current employee said that every time we have a meeting, we are called a dog, and every time we have meetings, we are criticized and criticized. If you can't complete the task, everything you do will be useless.

The company gives employees an overloaded workload and constantly sets targets every day, but does not provide ideas and methods, and does not allow them to get off work on time. If they cannot complete the get off work, they will mentally suppress the employees, making everyone feel that they are worthless. .

Isn’t this just naked workplace pua? By destroying the other party's self-judgment and willpower, the other party feels that the inability to complete the work is their own problem and falls into regret and guilt, and finally makes the other party willingly "kneel and lick" themselves.

Back to this matter, if his ability is not good, why did the bank recruit him in the first place? And why give the project to him? Doesn't this mean that the bank has already affirmed his ability?

What really drove him to a dead end was PUA in the workplace!

02

I thought everyone would sympathize with the employee who jumped off the building. After all, this is a life.

But I was wrong.

When I opened the comment area, someone immediately jumped out: What is the relationship between depression and banks? Who is not stressed at work? Some people who are under tremendous pressure and whose salary is not as low as this bank have not spoken yet.

Attributing the high work pressure to the deceased's lack of ability, and attributing jumping off the building to the deceased's mental fragility, what is the difference between this and the person handing the knife over?

Not only that, some people also issued death torture.

(Otherwise? Is it because the rooftop has a good view?)

I don’t know if these people feel that there is pressure per capita, so no one has the right to complain about pressure. Someone as fragile as jumping off a building is not worthy of discussion.

But I know that pressure cannot be compared.

Don’t encourage others to do good unless they have suffered. No one knows how much suffering he endured, so no one can point fingers at him.

03

Many people may ask, why not resist? Or simply, wouldn’t it be enough to resign?

This is the really scary thing about PUA in the workplace -

People who are not involved can easily see the mental control, but those who are involved in it have no way of knowing it.

My high school junior sister Yangyang used to work in an advertising company and was forced to "work three jobs" for a long time.

The company's photographer resigned, and her boss asked her to work part-time as a photographer, and then part-time as an administrator. Every time when he was tired and wanted to give up, his boss would say: "Young people should not be greedy for ease, otherwise you will accomplish nothing when you are old."

This rhetoric was very effective for Yangyang. He graduated from a vocational high school and later took the college entrance examination. Yangyang, who thinks that his academic qualifications are average, has always wanted to learn more knowledge while he was young to enrich himself.

Later, Yangyang’s workload was too heavy, which led to frequent mistakes. His boss began to say something similar to his disappointment in verbal communication:

“You are a junior college graduate. "Sir, I don't know who else would want you with your level except ours."

"You will feel tired after working overtime for 5 hours. In the long run, you will be left far behind, and there are still more people behind you." More young people are waiting to replace you.”

“The company is so careful to accompany you and arrange you in such a key position. How could you make such a low-level mistake? Please reflect on yourself.

”

From questioning her work, to denying her entire ability, and later even directly calling her ugly and stupid.

Yangyang never refuted, because she felt it was Her boss was angry because of her lack of ability. On the day she resigned, she felt deeply guilty about the company.

Many people have been or are currently trapped in PUA in the workplace without knowing it. < /p>

Compared with the bullying of 996 blessings and unpaid wages, PUA in the workplace is more subtle.

Coupled with the condescension of the company and leadership positions and the natural crushing of temperament, PUA happened so quietly that you never thought of escaping.

04

If next time, you hear your boss giving you a big deal but not raising your salary, you will continue to pay attention. To increase your workload with sugar-coated bullets like "for your own good", I have only one suggestion:

Leave quickly

It is difficult for us to challenge authority, let alone attack the system and society. There are various protection mechanisms under the big umbrella, so it is best to protect yourself and stay away.

You must know that we have experienced ups and downs, and in new companies, we often rely on these abilities. You will achieve success quickly.

Just like my junior sister.

After leaving her job, Yangyang joined a new company and started a new life, and then gradually discovered that she had a great job. She is quick to get started, not only does she not "only cause trouble to her colleagues" as her previous leader said, but more often than not, she still has the energy to help others.

Don't perish in silence, just "break out" immediately. Only by leaving a garbage company and looking at yourself calmly and objectively can you not let this ignorance destroy you.

It is not your fault that you are PUA in the workplace. It has nothing to do with your work level and learning ability. Don't worry. Deny yourself, belittle yourself, and then torture yourself with all kinds of anxiety and pain. Don't let excessive feelings of debt, dependence, and admiration become a sharp knife that stabs you.

No job is necessary. To do it in a painful and unhealthy state, it is more important to find a working environment that appreciates you and can value your efforts.

Write at the end:

I am Sister Fan. .

Believe me, you are no match for an unscrupulous boss. Don’t expect him to treat you well, and don’t expect such a company to have a future.

Leaving is a new beginning.

The text is original by Jiwu, please explain when reprinting.