Is it really impossible to balance work and family? (below)

Worry 2: candles burn at both ends. In addition to working and taking care of children, working mothers often have endless housework. Sometimes you will encounter unexpected situations such as temporary overtime and inability to pick up your child, and your child is sick and unable to go to work. They can only be described as "exhausted". Even if you want to spend more time with your children after going home, you are often unable to do so, and your sleep is relatively lacking. Plan ahead and reserve emergency time. When time is tight, I have to work and pray to God that "nothing will happen". Usually it is this kind of intense psychological pressure, coupled with unexpected situations, which will make mommy exhausted. Therefore, it is suggested that all plans should be arranged in advance as far as possible, and some emergency time should be reserved, so that Mommy can work with peace of mind. Control the online time. In these years when the child is still young, Mommy had better try to restrain herself from surfing the Internet. Many mothers use their breaks to surf the Internet, even if they feel that they don't get enough sleep. Actually, hanging out on the Internet is not a rest at all. In addition, even if you surf the Internet, you should spend time reading useful articles and reduce the use of social networking sites, so as not to deprive you of valuable sleep time. Think positively. If mommy is in a bad mood occasionally, she will feel that taking care of the children is a sacrifice or a drag on herself. For example, she should try to think positively. For example, tell yourself that if you endure for three or five years, even if you are tired again, there will be no chance in the future, because children will drag you down for a long time when they grow up. When he goes to primary school, the burning of candles at both ends will improve a lot. By doing so, children will also learn from their mothers. Outsourcing if you can! In order to survive the most difficult years, if you really feel overwhelmed, then try to outsource what you can! For example, if you are really too tired to walk, take a taxi instead of sticking to the MRT; If you think the house is too messy, please ask someone at home to help clean it. Saving 1 and 2 pieces of clothes can keep the home clean for 1 month, at least make the whole family more comfortable at home during the holidays, and mommy won't have to work so hard. Worry 3: Worried that children will not kiss themselves. Everyone has only 24 hours a day. Working mothers often worry that they will not be close enough to their children if they have to take care of their family and career at the same time. Don't be jealous of the nanny or grandma. I often see some mothers. When I want to take my baby home from the nanny's house, I hear the child say, "I don't want to go home, I want to be with the nanny!" " "I can't help but collapse, sad why children closer to the nanny? In fact, the nature of children and mothers always exists. As long as you don't take care of him on purpose, in any case, in retrospect, he will still think that his mother is the best. First of all, mommy must believe and rest assured about this matter, otherwise she will subconsciously compete with another caregiver for the feeling that the child needs herself. In fact, the relationship between the baby and the caregiver is very good, and mommy should be more assured, because when you can't take care of the child, he has another object to cling to, and he can get enough security in the process of growing up. Psychologist Xie Minghui explained that sometimes just after picking up the baby, the baby will run away from mommy. This is not because children don't like mommy or have no feelings for mommy. Maybe it's just that children's innate temperament is easy to feel anxious. After all, he lived well in the nanny's house, and suddenly someone came to pick him up. His escape comes from anxiety about changing the environment, and it takes a little time to adapt. At this time, mommy might as well tell the baby what fun games to play together after going home, or pick him up with his favorite toys. Don't blame the child, otherwise it will deepen his sense of helplessness. At home, pay more attention to children. Psychologist Xie Minghui believes that the key to a good relationship with children is not how long you spend together, but how you get along when you have time. So instead of worrying that going to work will make you not know enough about your children, ask yourself, since you feel that you have less time to spend with your children, have you tried your best to spend more time with your children after work? Or will you do something else? To relieve psychological pressure, we should use practical actions to make up for what we think is insufficient. It is suggested that mommy go home from work and look at the child's eyes instead of vaguely responding to the child while thinking about work. Instead of cooking and saying to the child, "Wait, I'll play with you later. "It is better to play with the children for 5 minutes first, and then cook, and the children will be happier. In fact, what children care about is not whether mommy is with them, but whether mommy cares about him equally. Therefore, it doesn't matter if the time is short. Pay more attention to the children at home! Carefully arrange holiday activities. Because working mothers have to go to work during the day, evening and holiday time are particularly precious, so try to leave them to their husbands and children. For example, before every Friday, discuss with your husband in advance what activities to take your children to do on weekends, instead of sleeping until you wake up naturally and then ask, "What are we going to do today? Worry 4: being tied up by children all day, I can't breathe. Once you have children, there will be many things you want to do that you can't do, especially when the children are very young, you can't go to the movies, you really want to attend parties between friends, and you can't enjoy the bath leisurely. If you add the busyness at work, working mothers can say that they have almost no time of their own. Find your own gaps and ways to relax. Although everyone has different ways, mothers must give themselves some time to do what they like. For example, lunch break is the available time. Mommy who likes to be lively can have dinner with colleagues and talk about parenting. Mommy who is eager to settle down can wash her hair and visit the bookstore. Everyone has different relaxation habits, as long as they can make themselves feel less tired, and keep some things they like and some expectations for themselves in their busy lives. If you encounter a bottleneck, stick to it for another 3 months! Even if the pressure has reached the critical point, when you feel tired and want to give up because of the difficulties of children and work, encourage yourself to persist for another three months, and I believe there will be a turn for the better. Because, it can be said that the baby will grow up every three months. He will look up in three months, sit for six months, stand for nine months, and walk for 12 months ... so whether he keeps littering or imitating, these headaches will generally improve in three months. This idea can help mommy through this difficult time. No confidence. What's wrong? Many mothers who have just returned to the workplace after giving birth often wonder if they are no longer suitable for work. So, I lost confidence and even wondered, "Is my brilliant achievements in my past work just a dream? In fact, it is natural for mommy to have no self-confidence, because before giving birth to a child, no one had the life experience of working while raising a child. However, self-confidence can only be built up in your mind through constant trial and accumulation of achievements. Therefore, what Mommy needs at this moment may not be self-confidence, but a little courage. Just like bungee jumping. Even if you want to wait until the fear and anxiety disappear before jumping, these feelings will not disappear. You can only jump with fear and self-confidence, and then … accept everyone's affirmation and praise. Xie Minghui's current position: clinical psychologist in Yuning Physical and Mental Clinic and visiting counselor of Keelung Special Education Team. Experience: Clinical psychologist in Department of Child Psychology, Linkou Chang Gung Memorial Hospital, Clinical psychologist in Early Treatment Center of Linkou Chang Gung Memorial Hospital, Part-time lecturer in Institute of Early Treatment and Education of Chang Gung Memorial University, Clinical psychologist in Psychiatry Department of Chengda Hospital, and Clinical psychologist in Psychiatry Department of National Army Songshan Hospital. Interview and Writing/Chen Yingjie Consulting/Xie Minghui, Clinical Psychologist of Yuning Psychosomatic Clinic, Photography/Zhu Xiaoba Shu Hua//Bella. Lovely baby: Zhang Chen * For more details, please refer to: BabyLife Parenting Life 2065438+April 2005. Mababy/ subscribe to the healthy Aloha audio-visual channel, read health knowledge more easily, and pay attention to your health every day! Line @ ID: @:/supply/article/20590/Can't work and family be taken care of at the same time (below) Keywords: baby and mother, work, family and mother April issue.