How tired are parents of organizing their children’s weddings?

In the eyes of many young people, weddings and marriages seem to have no connection. The marriage is yours, and the wedding may be your parents'.

Nowadays, some young people have indeed become spectators at their own weddings, and their parents have become the protagonists while they are busy. Children hold weddings, and parents shed their skin. While they put in their physical strength, they also put in a lot of brain cells. Because behind the wedding stage is the complex relationship network between the two families. If it is not handled well, it will leave serious sequelae. Naturally, fatigue and entanglement are inevitable.

A grand wedding will often play out a plot like this: a loving young couple performs to their heart's content, but behind the scenes are the parents' hard work and countless entanglements.

Parents have become "migrant workers" at their children's weddings

"I'm so exhausted!"

"Aren't they all busy? I don't care about anyone. What are you doing?”

It turns out that a pair of shiny leather shoes is covered with dust. Whenever she drags her tired body home and sees her neighbors, Aunt Chen always complains and feels helpless about her daughter. Take care of every detail of decorating the wedding room.

Nowadays, in many big cities, young people’s marriages are more often managed by the four elders of both parties. Buying a wedding room, decorating it, booking a hotel, choosing a wedding dress...all involve the influence of parents. Parents have become "migrant workers" in their children's marriages, intentionally or unintentionally.

On the eve of May Day, Aunt Chen, who was nearly sixty years old, checked the gas, water and electricity meter of her daughter’s new house for the last time. After confirming that it was correct, she opened the window of the new house a little and locked the door. Landed.

“The decoration is finally over.”

No wonder Aunt Chen said this. Her daughter’s wedding is on November 1 this year. Just after the first month of the year, she and her husband started to marry each other. Busy with the decoration of the new house. My uncle is from out of town, and my daughter and uncle are busy with work and can't get away. So Aunt Chen took over the "power" of the decoration. The two elders traveled almost half of Tianjin to choose furniture and buy main materials. Aunt Chen has to handle all matters related to decoration, big and small. She keeps an eye on the workers during the day and is busy recording the decoration ledgers at night.

Because the house was bought by the man, Aunt Chen’s family bore the decoration costs. The old couple are both retired workers. In order to save some money on decoration, they chose to contract the work, so they had to install every nut and wire themselves. In order to save trouble, the two often buy two fried pancakes for lunch. In Aunt Chen's words: "We have all become overseers, but who can let ourselves be just such a girl!"

Coincidentally, over 50 Teacher Qin, who is 2 years old, has also been very busy recently. He investigated almost all four-star hotels in Tianjin and rode a bicycle. When he got there, he first compared the prices and then inspected the decoration of the private rooms. He also couldn't forget to take pictures of the lobby and front door with his mobile phone. Come down so that I can discuss it with my son who is going home in the evening.

Generation after generation, marriage is not a matter of one person. But now the weddings of those born in the 1980s and 1990s are more like their parents’ affairs. Many parents of only children feel very tired when organizing their children's weddings, but they also feel that this is their responsibility, and they feel pain and joy at the same time. They feel tired when they are tired.

Weddings become parents’ “shows”

At their children’s weddings, you can often hear parents complaining: “Look, I am responsible for all this wedding, and they are I don’t care about anything...”

But for many young people, they don’t appreciate their parents’ complaints. Nowadays, many young people don’t seem to care about the formality of weddings. Being able to score 70 points has become the bottom line for many young people for weddings. Some simply skip the complicated procedures of weddings. Therefore, many children will face complaints from their parents. Whispering: "It's not just for your face!"

Indeed, Chinese people love to talk about face, and often compare the wedding ceremony with whether they value their in-laws, whether they have face, and the future development of their children in the workplace, etc. Therefore, many parents' wedding planning process is like climbing on an ever-growing cane that never ends. From booking a wedding banquet to preparing a speech at the wedding, the "three big mountains" of body, material and spirit are all coming at the same time. No wonder some parents say: "Having a wedding for a child is like peeling off the layers of skin."

Her daughter's wedding is scheduled for May Day next year, but Aunt Xu can't be happy. Why? The dowry is not enough. "I heard that it's popular to have a car with you when getting married." Aunt Xu took a quick look and found out that the price of a high-end car must be more than 200,000 yuan. A car that's too cheap can't be bought, and the children will be in trouble. However, this expense was indeed a high cost for Aunt Chen and his wife, so she discussed with her husband to rent the balcony on the first floor facing the street to a merchant, so that they could make some income every month. In Aunt Xu's words: "The working class has to squeeze through the gaps between their teeth. No matter what, they have to save face for their daughter."

Aunt Zheng suffered from insomnia recently because of her son's marriage. Tossing and turning every night. When my son got married, he made it clear that he didn't want to hold a wedding because his girlfriend was already pregnant and he didn't want to bother with it. "The two of them are really open-minded. If I don't organize this wedding, my relatives and colleagues will definitely not be able to spare me. If they don't say anything after getting an advantage, they may not know how the rumors will spread. Besides, the gifts that have been given to me for so many years are pointing to it. This happy event has come true, it won’t be a big loss if we don’t hold a wedding!” After much thought, Aunt Zheng had to persuade her son to hold the wedding.

The newlyweds are spectators when it comes to weddings

When young people get married, the protagonists in planning the wedding should have been those born in the 1980s and 1990s. But now, parents have become the "protagonists", and the newlyweds Either intentionally or unintentionally, they acted as spectators.

Li Li recently got married. If she were asked to choose the most memorable scene before and after the wedding, it would undoubtedly be the romantic scene when her husband put a diamond ring on her on the wedding day. But in the same multiple-choice question, her mother chose the experience of taking wedding photos with the young couple.

“My daughter didn’t seem to care about such a big thing as taking wedding photos. When I think of the scene that day, I can’t forget it. If I hadn’t reminded her the night before to put on the shoelaces that she should change, I would have been really embarrassed. I wonder who will be caught blind that day?" What puzzled her even more was that during the wedding photo shoot, her son-in-law was like a bystander, like a decoration and not active at all. Especially when changing clothes, the son-in-law smokes alone outside without expressing any opinions or smiling. On the other hand, she was busy all by herself, helping to choose a wedding dress and helping the photographer make them laugh. It seemed that the two people in the wedding photo were their mother and daughter.

Of course, the "protagonist" who becomes a spectator is not always careless and lazy, sometimes it is even more helpless.