Some etiquette for engagement?

Marriage Customs in Old Beijing

Beiping used to be called Beijing. In 17 years of the Republic of China, the National Government made Nanjing its capital and changed it to Beiping Special City. In 19 years, it was renamed Beiping City, which was directly under the jurisdiction of the Executive Yuan, referred to as the city under the jurisdiction of the hospital, and located in the north of Hebei Province. Known as the "cultural capital", its customs have a far-reaching impact on social life.

According to the wedding ceremony in Beiping, there are four common types, namely, the northern ceremony, the southern ceremony, the flag ceremony and the return ceremony. However, since the Republic of China, the "southern ceremony" seems to be integrated into the "northern ceremony" and then collectively referred to as "Beiping wedding".

The wedding procedure is as follows:

1. Marriage

The custom of marriage is not unique to one city and one county, but is common all over the country, and of course, Beiping is no exception. In the north, remembering a person's age, especially the zodiac, depends on the zodiac signs.

When people choose a spouse for their children, they must go back and forth through a "matchmaker" to propose their marriage. The steps are as follows: first, the matchmaker asks the girl's zodiac sign and asks for the "eight characters", and then the girl's "eight characters" are sent to the man's house, and then the boy's "eight characters" are sent to the woman's house. Both sides ask "fortune tellers" for fortune-telling, if there is no similarity between men and women, and

The biggest key to the success of marriage negotiation lies in the words of the married fortune teller. Therefore, if one of them is eager to achieve good things, there are people who pay bribes to the married "fortune teller" in advance.

As the saying goes, "A white horse makes a mistake, and once the sheep and rats rest, the snake and the tiger are as wrong as a knife, and the dragon and the rabbit exchange tears. The golden rooster is afraid of the jade dog, and the pig and the monkey can't reach the end." If men and women have the above animal signs, it will be difficult to get married. On the other hand, if the two people are born in the same genus, other conditions can be accommodating. The suitable animal sign is: "Rats match cows, tigers match pigs. Sheep match rabbits, horses match dogs. " This is the most important thing for both men and women. Also: a man's family is looking for relatives, and the girl who belongs to the tiger and the sheep is the most taboo. As the saying goes, "When a tiger enters the door, it will hurt people." And the girl who belongs to the sheep also has the saying that "life is hard." Therefore, if a woman is eager to find a mate and is very fond of a boy, she often hides her true genus in order to achieve her goal, otherwise it will be difficult to succeed.

Second, blind date

As a result of the marriage, if the two parties belong to the same family, the second procedure is blind date, and the parents of both parties will agree with the matchmaker, or meet at either party's home, which is called "blind date". What both sides pay attention to is whether the men and women look good and whether their limbs are disabled. This move is mostly accompanied by the matchmaker to meet at the woman's house, but some of them are at the man's house. At that time, the woman should pay more attention to the man's family situation and economic situation. If you see luxurious indoor furnishings, you think that your family is rich, and of course you are willing to climb relatives; If you see the depression in the room, the family is surrounded by walls, and there are many children, you think that your family is poor and you will adopt a negative attitude when discussing marriage.

If both parties are satisfied with the result of blind date, check the "three halls" of the two according to the horoscope of men and women. The so-called "three halls" is to check whether the parents of both sides are harmful to each other. If you can get lucky, then write a marriage book, and write down in detail the time and orientation of getting on and off the sedan chair and worshiping heaven and earth, as well as the date of receiving money and welcoming.

Third, let go of the wedding ceremony

When both men and women think that they can get married, the next step is to make a wedding ceremony. There is no certain standard for "small gifts". Almost all ordinary people have four boxes of gifts. Such as gold bracelets, rings, Ruyi, and hairpin drills, are packed in two boxes; Materials and embroidered skirts are also packed in two boxes. Jewelry is mainly made of pure gold, followed by gold, and silver bracelets are also bought, which of course depends on the social class and economic situation of both sides.

On that day, the women's family will set up a whole table of banquets to entertain the big media and exquisite families, and there will be twenty kinds of fruits, including four meats, four honey, four dried fruits, four fresh fruits and four snacks. After receiving the gift from the man, the woman's family should also send back four kinds of gifts from the man's family, such as a box of Four Treasures of the Study, a box of boots (shoes) and hats, a box of robes and jackets, and a box of materials. These gifts were brought back by the matchmaker on the same day and sent to the men's home.

Fourth, choose a date

Marriage in Beiping is rarely in the first month of the lunar calendar, and engagement is rarely in the twelfth month. Because the first month's wife will hinder the in-laws, and the twelfth month's engagement will defeat the in-laws, there is a proverb: "If you don't marry, you won't order." But whenever you get married, you must choose a good day. Moreover, a few days before choosing a good day, the man must invite the matchmaker to the woman's house to inquire about the girl's "small life." That is, the date of the monthly letter falls in the first half of the month or the second half of the month, so as to choose an auspicious day. It is said that if the bride's monthly letter comes at the time of marriage, there is a saying that "the red horse goes to bed, and the family is ruined", so everyone attaches great importance to it. If the groom is young and before entering the bridal chamber, parents must earnestly warn him not to overstep the festival, lest the bride get pregnant on the night of the bridal chamber, then the child born is called "Maimenzi", which is unlucky. Therefore, "choosing a date" is very important.

V. Enlarging the wedding date

After the decision, it is followed by "enlarging the wedding date", also known as "communication ceremony". In the process of marriage, this etiquette is very important, so the ceremony is also very grand. Except for the "dragon and phoenix post" which has special significance, other gifts are similar to the "small gift". Although there is no certain standard for the number and quality of gifts, in principle, they are all divided into "four colors" gifts. For example,

(1) Clothing and jewelry include cut-out clothes, clothing and various kinds of jewelry.

(2) Wine and meat foods include double geese and double wine, leg of lamb, elbow (i.e. hoof) and various steamed foods.

(3) Pasta includes dragon and phoenix cakes, crystal cakes and all kinds of snacks.

(4) Fruit foods include four dried fruits and four fresh fruits.

In these gifts, the double geese, the double wine and all kinds of fruits and foods all have profound abstract pleasure. For example, wine has always been paid attention to "lamb wine" or "no banquet without wine", which proves that wine ceremony is indispensable. Goose evolved from the use of geese in ancient rituals, because geese were used in five of the six rituals of ancient rituals, mainly because geese are a kind of bird, and marriage is not a joke. Both parties should keep their promises. But geese in the north are very rare, so they are replaced by geese. According to the general custom, this pair of geese is double wine, and the woman's family only accepts half-one goose and one jar of wine. The other half asked the matchmaker to return it to the man's house on the same day, which is a courtesy of the woman's house to the man's house. As for fruit food, it is more interesting. For example, there must be four kinds of dried fruits: jujube, peanut, longan and chestnut, which means "jujube (early) gives birth to cinnamon (expensive) seeds". If there are apples in the four fresh fruits, it symbolizes "peace and security", but pears are absolutely not allowed, because "pears" and "separation" are homonyms, so as to avoid the suspicion of "separation" between husband and wife. In short, the selected fruits have different auspicious meanings.

The ceremony of "Enlarging the Wedding Ceremony" is different from usual. Apart from two big media, who are responsible for the ceremony, the groom's mother will also attend, and some other relatives and friends will be invited to attend together. The women's family treats them as if they were "relaxed"; Pack all the gifts in boxes and boxes with red seals. At that time, employees will carry them to the woman's house, and two people will carry them. Ordinary people will give four gifts, while rich people will give eight more. As usual, the young children will open the gift box face to face after receiving the gift. Before opening the box, you should make three "bows" to the gift box, then pat the gift box three times with your hand, and then tear off the seal. When you open the gift box, you must first see a red envelope with a number of silver or copper coins in it, which belong to the children who open the gift box. There is a bracelet in the jewelry box, which must be put on the girl's wrist by the groom's mother. When wearing a bracelet, you should also say some auspicious words, such as "Old age with a white head, good luck and good luck". It is said that the intention of this move is that the bride should listen to her mother-in-law after going through the door to prevent disharmony between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

afterwards, the female family will distribute the dragon and phoenix wedding cakes and various snacks sent by the male family to relatives and friends, so as to publicize her daughter's marriage. Relatives and friends also give banquets to the girls to be married, and give some rouge, palace powder or cloth, which is called "adding boxes".

VI. Giving a dowry

Giving a dowry is a woman's business, and it is usually held one or two days before the auspicious date.

Pack all the dowry in boxes and food boxes, hire someone to carry it, and two people will carry it, and the groom's brother will escort it to the man's house. According to "Peiping Customs and Signs" edited by Li Jiarui, "The day before yesterday, the woman invited four male guests, six or eight men to send makeup, and the man also invited people to welcome makeup. The number of things to be carried was counted, and most of the middle-sized houses were twenty-four. "For those who carry a lot of clothes, drum music is used as a prelude to their make-up, and drum music is welcomed by men's families. However, there are also people who send makeup on their wedding day. From the record that "the dowry is preceded by drum music, and the male family welcomes drum music", it can be seen that the "dowry" is very grand. Rich families marry their daughters, just taking the opportunity of "dowry" to show off their wealth, and there are also land and shops accompanying them; The way to accompany the land is to carry a few pieces of adobe in the procession of dowry. To send a shop, it is to take down the signboard of the shop and carry it to the man's house.

After the man receives these dowries, the groom will go to the woman's house to "thank her makeup" on the same day. Kowtow to your makeup, but don't stop. Go home after kowtowing. Every box in the dowry is put with a red envelope on the four corners, including a copper coin and a corner ticket. There is no objective standard, but it just symbolizes some happiness.

VII. Kissing

When the auspicious day arrives, the groom should personally lead the ceremonial ceremony to get married, and set out at the time stipulated in the Official Book. Before getting out of the car, two men smoked the car, and a mirror and a constitutional book were used to shine a few times in the car to ward off evil spirits. The wedding ceremony for wealthy families is particularly grand, and the order of various ceremonial arrangements is about "top horse" (in the wedding ceremony team, one person dressed in horseback is responsible for opening the way and guiding the whole procession, called top horse), followed by avoidance cards, trumpeters (that is, today's bands), gongs, decorative lights, flags, etc. At the same time, all kinds of weapons, such as melons, cymbals, and cymbals, were arranged in the ranks of ceremonial ceremonies. It is hard to describe the scale and momentum of the scene. The groom's green sedan chair is in the front, and the bride's embroidered red sedan chair is behind. It's really imposing, like a "big man" on patrol. The groom here and now, like the champion, is no wonder that marriage is a "small graduation".

The ceremonial ceremonies with big scenes fill a street as soon as they are arranged. Among them, two people who guard against evil spirits are the most responsible. They each take a red carpet and accompany them on both sides of the sedan chair. In case of Jing Quan Temple on the way, you must cover the bride's sedan chair with a blanket to prevent evil spirits. There are also two married wives and two or four married officials and guests. Also take a sedan chair together with the ceremonial. As usual, the bride's sedan chair can't be empty, so a young child with both parents must sit in it and press the sedan chair, and also carry a teapot in his hand, commonly known as "the teapot bearer". The teapot is filled with a little water, a piece of tofu and a bat-shaped red velvet flower. Because tofu and bat, the second word is homophonic with the word fu, symbolizing double happiness. Cover the teapot with a square red piece for later use. Because Luo is similar to the music, it symbolizes lifelong happiness! In order to successfully achieve the task of marrying the bride, men should prepare a number of "red envelopes" in advance, each containing copper coins, coins, or corner tickets, etc., and hand them over to the wedding officials and guests for future use; When the sedan chair arrives in front of the woman's house, the woman's house must be closed, and the bride knocks outside to urge the bride to get on the sedan chair. At this time, someone must ask for a "red envelope" across the door in the courtyard of the women's home. When the bride marries, she will hand over the red envelope, and then the door will be opened inside, and the drummer will play music. Then, the bride throws the coins she brought in advance into the door, which is called "scattering all over the sky". The deacons of the women's family welcomed the married guests into the hospital, and the sedan chair was carried in. The woman's family entertained the married guest with tea and wine, and put the prepared "children's bowl chopsticks" in front of the married guest, and asked the married guest to take it to the man's family. The "children's bowl chopsticks" must not be damaged, otherwise the life expectancy of the master and the woman will not be long, so both sides think it is of great importance and be especially careful; At this time, the married wife of the male family handed over the red velvet flowers and the four-sided red roses brought by the children carrying the teapot to the wife of the female family, and the female family invited two of the relatives and friends, one * * * four of whom held the four corners of the red hijab, and first passed them on to the couple, saying, "Peace in the four seasons, harmony for a hundred years, longevity and good luck" and other auspicious words. Then put the red velvet flowers on the bride, and then put the "red veil" on the bride's head, and the task of marrying a wife is completed.

Before the sedan chair arrived, the bride's hair was tied in a bun by her family, which means "married couple". When the bride gets on the sedan chair, someone must lay red carpets on the ground one by one, so that the bride can't touch the ground, and two people will help her get on the sedan chair. There are also people who carry the bride on the sedan chair by her father and brother. No matter whether the bride is hot or cold in the sedan chair, the "hijab" on her head is not allowed to be taken off, even in hot summer. Before getting off the sedan chair, the bride's parents must check the sedan chair carefully to ensure safety. After the sedan chair is lifted, the bride's brothers are still sent to accompany the sedan chair on both sides, which is called "supporting the sedan chair pole" as the saying goes. At the same time, please send your wife and officials and guests to see you off with the sedan chair. All the way to the man's house.

VIII. Worship the heavens and the earth

When the bridal sedan chair and ceremonial ceremony returned to the door of the man's house, the door of the man's house was closed as usual, saying that it could be used to suppress the bride's temper; At this time, the official and guest who came from the family will call the door forward and ask again and again before opening the door. This situation is the same as that of the female family dealing with the male family's marrying guests, but there is no such thing as giving red envelopes and scattering stars all over the sky. After the gate is opened, the sedan chair is carried into the courtyard. First, you have to go through the brazier to see off the official guests and the bride's brother. Then, as the sedan chair enters the courtyard to have a rest, the male family treats it with wine.

when it's time to get off the sedan chair, lift the sedan chair to the door of the hall. Deacons and others do their jobs and prepare the bride to get off the sedan chair. At this time, the groom's official made three bows to the car door, so the wife who saw the bride off opened the car door, and the companion sister-in-law (today's bridesmaid) helped the bride get off the car. Then she handed the bride a small porcelain vase, commonly known as "Aquarius", which contained two or four yellow and white rings. The bride held the Aquarius in her arms, and then walked with the help of her companion and wife. In addition, two people laid red carpets in front and back, so that the bride's feet would not touch the ground. At this time, the groom has stood in front of the case of heaven and earth, holding a bow and arrow and shooting three arrows at the bride to drive away evil spirits. The posture of archery is to shoot an arrow and take a step back, then the bride straddles the saddle and walks the brazier. After these joints pass, a wedding ceremony is held before the confession, which is called "worshipping heaven and earth".

After worshipping heaven and earth, lead the bride into the bridal chamber. Please ask two "Quanfu people" to make the kang (or new bed) beforehand, and the bride will cross her legs and sit in the tent when she enters, which is commonly known as "sitting in the tent" or "sitting in the blessing". And sprinkle happy fruit in the account, which is just like the legacy of "spreading accounts" in the Tang Dynasty. At this time, the groom unveils the bride's "hijab", which is commonly called "first meeting" or "appearance". So he took off the velvet flower worn by the bride. The groom can place this velvet flower at will. It is said that if you put it on a high place, you can have a boy, and if you put it on a low place, you can have a girl. Now it seems to be superstition. But at that time, due to the social background, I thought everything should be.

9. After eating the children's cake

"Sit on the account", the next program is to eat the children's cake. The children's cake was brought from the bride's family by the bride-to-be-seen, and the three wives each took a bowl and gave it to the new couple for exchange. After eating descendants' cakes, they also eat longevity noodles. Longevity noodles are prepared by men, which means "descendants will live forever". Then there is the "Jiaobei" wine, that is, a red rope with a glass tied at each end, which is given to the groom by the married wife and given to the new wife by the farewell wife.